By some definitions, my baby is an infant at 2 months old. We got him an Evenflo exersaucer and a Pop! jumper as well as a batmobile walker. He is crazy active and we're doing tummy time until he gets a bit stronger.
Found the Evenflo Exersaucer on the left abandoned at the curb, so I washed it with dishsoap and water and changed the batteries and it's good as new. Had to order 2 new feet for the arch and a new spring for one of the legs, but I feel good upcycling something that would have ended up in the landfill. The Pop! summer jumper was $60 and I hope we can take it to MIL's house and maybe to the beach. Yes I know these are not recommended until baby is older, but I wanted to spend that COVID stimulus money on something special.
I also bought some PJs from the Gap for me. Maternity Nursing Sleep Cami and Maternity Sleep Shorts. It seems like they are taking for.ev.er to arrive though. They haven't even shipped yet and I ordered on 5th of May. Got ~50% off by using two promo codes. Free shipping and free returns. I hope everything fits, I am not a fan of online shopping for stuff I would usually try on. Hoping the tops are a bit supportive, breathable, yet not so tight that they lead to clogged ducts. I realize this is a big ask.
I got the following email from Gap yesterday, "we are experiencing delays in processing and shipping your order. We're unable to ship your order within the time frame promised." I am sad because Gap lets you order top and bottom separately, which is nice if you are a pear shape. So I went ahead and bought the following from Kohl's.
Women's Croft & Barrow Lush Luxe Tank & Shorts Pajama Set
These I like the most. The shorts are long enough.
Women's Simply Vera Vera Wang Sleep Tank and Boxer Shorts Pajama Set
These I only like the top. The bottoms are more like underwear than shorts.
Women's Apt. 9 Solid Cami & Shorts Pajama Set
These I hate. The fabric feels cheap and the shorts are also like underwear.
I was hoping to get something comfortable to wear around the house all day all summer long. I hate online shopping, for this reason. Do I return or exchange the stuff I don't like? What would happen to the clothes that get returned? Will they be burned or resold?
My sister says I kept an annoyingly scientific record of my pregnancy symptoms and I said, "it's for you!" I kept wondering if all those things were normal and how long they would last. So I am continuing to track symptoms postpartum as I recover however quickly or slowly.
rhinitis - gone
bleeding gums - gone
flatulence - worse
carpel tunnel - worse
linea nigra - same
stretch marks - not an issue
nipple soreness - not an issue... but breastfeeding is a challenge! It's not 100% painless.
hair falling out - not an issue (yet)
mastitis - constant struggle
discharge - much less
feet hurting - same as 3rd trimester
symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD) - never had it. But I did have postpartum back pain that was REALLY bad in weeks 3 and 4.
According to a chiropractor, the back pain was caused by three reasons (1) diastasis recti (2) a sacrum that may be out of place and (3) the Cesarean section. The whole core is destabilized. Throw in there a high level of relaxin that will persist as long as we are breastfeeding, that is the reason for some of the inflammation.
She let me know that there is scar tissue forming as my body is healing from the surgery. Filaments are forming as the uterus is contracting to its original size, and these filaments can cause pain in the abdomen and even down into the legs. It was hard to get out of my comfy recliner and get in and out of bed. The chiropractor said it will be important to NOT do a sit-up or crunch for at least one year to let the diastasis recti repair.
Now two months postpartum, I have less trouble getting in/out of bed. I can roll from my left to my right side in bed without any pain. I can get in and out of my recliner carrying baby without any pain.
One month after my C-section, I missed: hard laughing, working out, riding a bicycle, leg lifts, squats and lunges. I looked forward to the day when I could lay on my stomach and rest there.
One month postpartum, laying on my side was nice. Two months postpartum, my breasts are huge and still painful. I could not lay on them, no way. I have bought some new PJs and sleep bras to help alleviate the discomfort of engorgement and the hot flashes I seem to get at night. I sleep really well when my bedroom is like 55 degrees.
One month postpartum, I looked forward to lifting things like laundry baskets, stroller, and carseat with baby in it. I can do most of these now, but the baby is gaining weight so fast I have to keep doing my Fit4Mom workouts to build my upper body to be able to lift baby in carseat. I have done it at least once recently.
The night before Mother's day I had a dream that I went to a roller rink that had two side-by-side indoor wood floor rinks but they were in use. The staff told me I could go outside and enjoy the outdoor rollerpark, which was kind of like the LA County Arboretum. There were popup thrift shops and art participation booths, very much like an open streets (CicLAvia) event. Then Sigourney Weaver showed up to skate and she was heavily pregnant. I thought she was a beautiful symbol of fertility and full of life. And then I woke up to breastfeed my son. I think I'm just dreaming of fun and wonderful things that make me happy, and dreaming of the time before COVID-19, when we didn't think about social distancing and we weren't required to wear masks in public.
It's frustrating to have abdominal cramps and wonder if it's my period coming back, 9 weeks postpartum. Then I read that it's different for every woman whether you are breastfeeding or not. I was rinsing spinach leaves and destemming them for a soup and it occurred to me that every leaf is shaped differently but they are all good and nutritious. So why would all women have the same pregnancy and postpartum symptoms on the same timeframes?
I thought I totally had my beauty routine down, but as we age, we need to modify. The pregnancy hormones caused me to want to use different products, mostly more moisturizing and heavy. Now that I'm no longer pregnant, I have to find what works now because my face is wrecked. I was craving Pods cold cream. Mother's day weekend let me actually try a modern Ponds blend at my MIL's house. I didn't love it to be honest. I guess I need to try the original formulation.
What I have been doing, at the suggestion of a pal, is to use Xom3 You Can Dew It oil underneath my moisturizer. It seems that postpartum skin issues are common, although something I didn't really think or hear about until I experienced it.
The first carrier I chose based on which one fit both my husband and I. It is the Lillebaby 6-Position Complete Airflow. Removable lumbar support and padded straps make it comfier-than-most, suitable for long walks and day-long outings. Made of polyester performance mesh. Handles riders from 7 to 45 pounds, no infant insert required, with 6 different carrying positions on the front, back, and hip (including a front-outward carry).
I saw that it was on sale for $41.04 (regular price $124.99) so I took two buses to a Target near UCLA that said it was in stock, but when I got there it was not. So I took a bus and the light rail to a Target in Hollywood and found it. Then I took a light rail and two buses to get back home. I told myself that I would be telling Albert that story when he was big enough to be using that carrier.
A friend gave us an Infantino Flip 4-in-1 convertible carrier. I love it. It's set up in the forward-facing configuration. When Albert gets fussy, I put him in there and wander around the kitchen, garden and garage. He can see what's going on and he doesn't have to be just looking at my chest or shoulder. He can also see himself in the mirror. The only thing I don't like about it is that it kind of rubs the back of my arms. I tend to wear sleeveless shirts these days and I can only wear that carrier for so long before I am in pain.
We were also gifted an Ergobaby Original Bundle of Joy baby carrier. I haven't tried it yet. Allows 3 baby carrying positions: front-inward, hip and back. My aunt suggested wearing him on my back while cooking, but I just don't know how I would check to make sure he's ok, or even how I would get him back there. I do wish the babywearing group was still meeting. I would bring all of these carriers there and get schooled on how to use them. You may think having three soft structured carriers is overkill, but what I've heard is that it's good to have one adjusted for mom and one adjusted for dad and then don't readjust.
Wrap Style Carriers
We registered for a Moby wrap and one of our colleagues bought it for us. The reason we added it to the registry is that we attended a babywearing meetup at a park in Santa Clarita and after trying it on (with help) we realized how comfortable and useful it would be, as well as not difficult to tie. When we tried it on in the store (following the pictures on the box) without a weighted babydoll, it seemed too weird and difficult to tie. Now, I can get it on pretty quickly and leave it on all day even if the baby isn't in there.
The Moby is a stretchy wrap. There are also non-stretchy wraps. One that was gifted to us is the brand Didymos. Now they come in many shapes and sizes, and I'm not sure what size I have. I've been following the #MayTheFourthTrimester challenge on So-Cal Babywearers facebook page to learn many different ways of tying the non-stretchy wrap. So far what I really like about it is how secure it feels. As Albert is getting bigger (and heavier) I feel the non-stretchy wrap gives him a more snug fit, whereas the Moby settles over a 45-minute period and the baby ends up dropping lower and lower. He usually takes a nap after a while, but not always.
Just measuring the Didymos that I have, it's about 14 feet long and 22 inches wide. It seems like A LOT of fabric but it is extremely versatile and I'm really starting to appreciate it for its simplicity, breathability and beauty. Gardening while baby wearing is a great way to calm Albert down. He's been fussy lately and keeping him interested has been a real task. We have also done lots of dancing while he's in this wrap. Every Friday night, there's online line dancing on YouTube and every Thursday morning, Fit4Mom has a babywearing dance class on Zoom. We even did one session with GroovaRoo on Facebook live.
Mei Tai Carrier
A Mei Tai carrier is soft bodied with four long straps for tying. The one I have is homemade. I love it for how simple it is. Easy to pack and easy to wash. We call his arm hanging out the "temperature probe." It's quick to put on and take off.
We've taken this one for a longer walk. It's also convenient to put in the stroller in case baby starts fussing and won't be quiet in his stroller. I also have used it during my babywearing dance class. I sometimes put Albert in there when we're eating.
One thing I have yet to master is having Albert breastfeed while in a carrier. I also haven't mastered the side-laying breastfeeding. I am so grateful when we just do regular breastfeeding, I haven't felt the need to multitask besides scrolling on my phone or eating a snack.
What I would recommend is to check secondhand shops for used carriers. There's no way that you need to buy something new like I did. I was obsessed with having something and if I would have waited just a bit longer, I would have had enough carriers given to me that I wouldn't have had to buy one. But also, it's great to have a variety of styles. And the wraps are easy to throw in the washing machine, so I do appreciate having two especially since Albert seems to spit up a half ounce every hour.
We have taken baby on some good day-trips: Riverside and Ventura. This (Mother's Day) weekend, we will be going down to Newport Beach. Also, we're staying the entire weekend away from our house. I hope it doesn't mess up our breastfeeding rhythm that we've established. Anyhow, I thought I would start making our packing list of what we brought for a day trip and that might help us expand into what we might need for a whole weekend.
Packing list for a day trip
Pump, pump parts
Diaper bag, with 8-10 disposable diapers and wipes
Cooler bag, ice pack
Boppy, my brest friend
Mei Tai carrier, Moby wrap, Didymos wrap
Change of clothes for mom, dad and baby
Burp cloths
Packing list for a weekend trip
Pack n Play, with diapering and bassinet attachments
Sun hats for mom, dad and baby
Nursing bra, breastpads
Storage (freezer) bags for milk
Bottle brush set
Rattle toy(s)
Musical toy
I'm starting to get concerned that Albert is missing his vaccines during this COVID-19 pandemic time. I don't know why I'm so worried about it. Maybe my brain is just overly active and seeking something to worry about. Our next doctor visit is in 1 month and I'm wondering how many shots he will get on that visit.
Watching the boy scouts live camp-in, we heard some advice from NASA astronaut Doug Wheelock. He said that this global pandemic is a unique moment in history and a time to write. They also suggested burying a time capsule. We tried to complete a virtual 5k walk/run/hike but I only got 2 miles walking back and forth in our house. I did set up the tent and make s'mores in the toaster oven.
We can't get Lysol wipes, antibacterial handsoap, alcohol-based hand sanitizer, Chlorox bleach, Dawn dishsoap or Dial bar soap with antibacterial ingredients. The only time I really thought this would be a problem is when I was recovering from my surgery and I was supposed to wash my incision. Our president told people that injecting bleach could combat coronavirus. These are the times we are living in.
I can say no. I will say no. My hope is that I can enjoy the remainder of my maternity leave in peace, regardless of the fact that the country is reopening. My in-laws seem to think that the coronavirus is a hoax, social distancing is unnecessary, masks are a joke and that the country needs to reopen immediately. Already my son's cousin has met up with friends at the beach and had a keg party at his house, so we know they aren't quarantining anymore. They are big fans of Disneyland and I'm sure they'll be among the first to go there when it reopens.
Dear MIL is pushing for us to spend her birthday weekend in Ventura the first weekend in June and possibly take a boat to hike the Channel Islands. While this sounds great in theory, I don't know if I would be able to enjoy it. The next big thing is dear SIL is turning 50 and I am turning 40 in July. I don't want anything. I had seriously forgotten about it until MIL reminded me this weekend. I just want to snuggle with my baby and that's the greatest gift. MIL wants to throw a party for me and SIL, which would mean a big stressful family gathering. Not interested.
I told dear husband that I will be saying no to any and all travel until school starts up again in August. If someone wants to visit with Albert, they are welcome to come here. Traveling was too stressful. I have stated it twice now, and neither time did he repeat back to me what I had said, so I have a feeling that he didn't hear me. I was hoping he would repeat it back to me, but he said that he didn't want to talk about that subject any further so I left it at that.
I think a big struggle is that some people are quarantining hard and other people are less strict. Those who are quarantining hard are bragging about it because it's difficult and requires mindfulness. Those who are more loosely following the guidelines probably don't talk about it. But people who are fearful are getting very bent out of shape when they see someone not wearing a mask. This is leading to violence, which is understandable since people are ferociously protecting their family members, including children.
I use the affirmation "I am healthy, I am safe" and extend that to include my baby and my family. I was very tearful on Friday, leaving my house and seeing the signs on the freeway saying "Avoid gatherings, stay home, beat COVID-19" but knowing that we were taking yet another unnecessary trip to see family.
I wanted to write about "pumps and a bump" which my husband thought was a crazy title, he just didn't understand what it meant to me. Sure, it makes no sense unless you know that I was so jealous of my younger sister who had a tape of MC Hammer. Now you have to understand that this was the mid 90s and we only had like 2 tapes. It was either The Funky Headhunter or NKOTB. This vintage walkman (as featured in the movie Pretty Woman) can be yours today for a mere $150.
Anyway, this post is about breastfeeding and my goals. I wanted to write it 5 weeks ago so that I could report now that my goals have been met, but with a new baby, he gets all the attention and it's not so important to post blogs for 10 people to read. Although, I remember when I was pregnant, I read some blogs that helped me a lot. There were some other ones that I read about pregnancy after IVF that I probably didn't bookmark or link to, but I hope that anyone who reads this will know that we experienced infertility and took steps to get pregnant that are above and beyond just having good old fashioned sex.
We did attend a breastfeeding class and they gave us some handouts that I actually used in the hospital and the days after bringing baby home. The most useful information for anxious new parents was that baby's stomach grows slowly and it's not super important to produce a large volume of milk right away. I was able to make colostrum (a thick honey-like substance) in the hospital, it was fairly easy to learn how to express it by hand and transfer it to baby. He was a champion at nursing from the start, at least he tried.
Baby is more alert on breastmilk. Baby gets hungry sooner after breastmilk. We thought formula allowed us more time between feedings for the same volume. For the first 2 weeks home from the hospital, we were doing every other feeding with formula. Then around 3 weeks, we were doing formula for the first night interval (5 hours) and pumped breastmilk for other feedings. But the last two nights we've skipped formula and baby is still sleeping for a long interval, so I guess we can let go of formula entirely now.
I have pain when pumping but even more pain when breastfeeding. But I don't have pain the whole time, it seems most intense at first then it decreases after letdown. I don't know if pain is everyone's experience, but I also get a strange euphoria which makes me understand why BDSM people get into nipple clamps. The first time I pumped, I seriously got high from it.
The hospital LCs recommended "triple feeding" with putting baby at the breast at the start of each feed. That got me very depressed because my baby wouldn't latch until he was 2 weeks, 3 days postpartum. And he didn't really get a full feed at the breast until he was 3 weeks old. He is good now, for a couple of weeks he could only breastfeed if he was hungry and I was not too full. The past two mornings, he has nursed on rock hard boobs with no issues. He's 7 weeks now.
Part of our motivation for eliminating formula was to use cloth diapers, which we started doing at 3 weeks. We use cloth all-in-ones until those are all dirty. Then we use flour sack towels folded in a newborn kite fold, fastened with a snappi, with PUL covers over the top. We have plenty of those so then we do a load of diapers every other day. People say that the poops from formula are more staining than the poops from breastmilk. The good news is that those stains are easily removed by hanging the cloth out in the sun, I can confirm. I wish I had a before-and-after photo, but I don't, so you'll have to take my word for it. And here's another 90s throwback for you:
Here are all the tags I wanted to use for this post: breastfeeding, career, education, equity, family, fear, goals, gratitude, green, hormones, learning, interdisciplinary, maternity leave, meditation, money, motivation, nutrition, pain, positive, postpartum, simplicity, spring, sustainability, teamwork, technology, travel, vintage, walking. Since the post was getting too long, I had to split it in half.
I like this story. Anna Momigliano of the Washington Post writes about how people encourage breastfeeding by talking about how it is the "free" option. However, in her (and my) experience, there are costs associated with breastfeeding also. In the time of coronavirus, I was not able to attend support groups at my hospital and birth centers like Bini Birth or La Leche League meetings. Luckily, there are some instagram accounts to follow that are encouraging and motivating.
Here are some of the webpages I had open on the browser of my smartphone. I want to close them now, but they were good for a time and I might want to come back to them later or recommend to someone else.
When I talk about my baby's birthday, I struggle to find the words. I want to be accurate, he was ripped out through my abdomen using a scalpel. I have a hard time saying labor and delivery. I can't say a doctor delivered him. I can't say he was born. More like he was removed from me. I didn't have that moment of pushing that you see on the movies. I don't know if this is the scientist in me just wanting to use the most precise and accurate language or the fact that our culture prepares you to have a vaginal birth. I feel like I don't have the words for what happened.
My reddit group had 75/25 vaginal/Cesarean. More than 50% of respondents had a labor of less than 12 hours. I feel robbed of that experience. I am just about recovered from the surgery, but I don't know exactly how to talk about what happened that day.
Due to COVID-19 most of this advice does not apply. But maybe it would be good advice under normal circumstances. I am struck lately about how short human lifespan is and how quickly babies grow and I wish I would have had a kid sooner so that I could have more than one and what the heck was I doing with my life until now. I can see how people with kids tell people without kids to go for it.
Yeah, due to a mix-up with my identity at the DMV while upgrading my driver's license to a "Real ID," they thought I had a daughter named Kayla Kayser who was born in 2004. It took a few weeks to get that fixed, but it's all good. I also may or may not have paid for the genetic testing for the state of CA. I mean I know I didn't pay for it, because my OB told me that my insurance should cover it. But as far as I can tell, the debt has not been paid.
And sometimes we go to church on Zoom. Even though the church is right across the street. I kind of hope they continue broadcasting so that we don't have to bring a crying baby into the building. It's nice to be able to hear the service no matter what kind of mood Albert is in.
In this post I want to discuss things like the "breastfeeding cart" and how we organize our baby's clothes and cloth diapers. And let's not forget patient #1, that's mom!
What I put in mine are as follows: adult diapers, peri bottle, preparation H wipes (with witchhazel solution for rewetting if the package dries out), overnight 12-hour pads, ultrathin 8-hour pads, mesh underwear (from the hospital). I used an old magazine rack for the container. This is a photo of the downstairs bathroom. Bear in mind that you will need one of these stations in each bathroom. The upstairs bathroom, I turned the trash can into a pad holder. I used the bucket from the trash can as a little stand for Tucks pads and the peri bottle. We put a diaper genie in there for disposal of adult and baby diapers. It worked.
We got a bunch of Samla interlocking clear plastic storage containers from IKEA. These I love because they stack and can be reassigned as baby grows. We have already eliminated the newborn size bin and replaced it by splitting clothes into 0-3 months day and 0-3 months night.
One container is the bath kit, which contains a hooded towel, three washcloths, a ducky thermometer, shampoo and lotion. There is a canvas basket that has all the baby blankets. The basket below has all the folded cloth diapers (FSTs).
We got this cart at Big Lots. It was something we thought about before baby arrived. I definitely haven't perfected what's on it, but I have used it daily.
Top level: earplugs, eye mask, Kleenex, barf bag, pen, breastpads, snacks, water
Middle level: burp cloths, bibs, flannel baby blankets
Bottom level: washcloths, mesh laundry bags filled with baby things such as mittens, socks and hats
Back side compartment: quick clean micro steam bag, changing station (bags and pee-pee teepee)
Middle compartment: change of clothes, burp cloth, wipes, diapers, diaper rash cream, nail clippers
Front side compartment: disposable breast pads, lanolin cream, reusable cutlery, formula bottles
More IKEA Samla bins which sort out Medela bottles from Avent bottles and freezer storage bags. We have a distilled water reservoir, for the bottle warmer and sterilizer. My mom got us a Boon grass drying rack along with the twig, stem, poke and the cactus brush set. I had seen this item at a secondhand shop in Burbank, but arrogantly I thought I would immediately succeed at breastfeeding and wouldn't need any bottles. As I am learning, all the stuff for maternity, baby and postpartum has a raison d'être and more will be revealed if the utility of the item is not immediately evident.
Breast pump bag https://pregnantchicken.com/breast-pump-bag-packing-list/
So far mine has an infinity scarf and a hands-free pumping bra, a good headband and hair elastic, three power cables (outlet, car, battery) an extra set of membranes, an extra set of tubing, lids, nipples, flanges, connectors, bottles, snacks, separate cooler bag with ziploc and ice packs (for used pump parts), breast pads.
