Buy Nothing + Sip and Swap

Today we purged some items from our house and we had a party for all of my son's stuffed animals. Honestly I have no idea how these two things are related. Maybe just that kids grow up. 

It was the biggest compliment to me that my husband said the two greatest purchases we ever made on a scale of $5,000 is number one the down payment on our minivan which we absolutely love. And number two our Lovesac couch. What's funny is he doesn't even sit on that couch but he knows how much I love it. And this kind of brings tears to my eyes a little bit. Isn't that amazing when your family members find joy in seeing your joy? 

Today is the first day of June, the first day of "streaking with the cool kids." I had to drag my butt off the couch and walk this one mile. It helps to have a destination. A neighbor was giving away Keurig pods, which we use daily. And it's so funny because I never thought that I would turn into a Keurig person, but if I'm not mistaken we got this current model off of Buy Nothing.

Now on to the topic of a party for my son's stuffed animals, there's another thing I thought I would never do in my life. What's ironic is I was looking for an excuse to have a party or at least celebrate the end of the school year. It feels really major that my son has done a full year of transitional kindergarten. My goodness! At the beginning of the school year we had so many worries. Will he be able to communicate? Will he have a toilet accident? Will he eat at the cafeteria? Is he getting bullied too much?

All those worries and fears turned out to be no big deal. Yes, I am exhausted from the daily grind of getting to school at a certain time. When my son was in daycare, you could drop off anytime between 7:30 and 9:30. That's a 2-hour window, which seems huge now. When he transitioned to elementary school, the gates open at 7:40 and you have to be there by 8:00 or they lock the gate. Throw in the fact that we basically walk to school, bike to school, or take the stroller every day, which adds an additional layer of chaos that must be accounted for. But it was actually really great walking to school every day, it helped me keep my mileage up when I was training for the marathon. It's really good for streaking, almost no day is a zero-mileage day. 

But it just so happened that I was at Costco this week to buy hot dogs for my son's end-of-the-year celebration, and I just could not pass up a little charcuterie plate, a cheese tray, and an olive plate. Albert insisted that we invite our neighbors to his stuffed animal party. I didn't think anybody would come, but three families ended up coming. The Sarah's came over, and the Skolnik's. The kids played with their scooters, the wiggle cars, the water table. I got a chance to sweep out the garage and declutter some areas that were really bothering me. 

I want to try to carry this momentum forward throughout the next week. Look at what I have that I'm not using right now. Just ask myself, how many times have you used that in the last year? And if it's just taking up space in your house, see if anybody else wants it! It wasn't too difficult throwing all those books in the trash, honestly, we never really enjoyed them. It was a little bit hard giving some good literature to the Salvation Army. But again, these are books that we've collected over literally decades. And we haven't even gotten them out of the closet since we moved in. 

Yes, those books were part of why I fell in love with my husband, but not why I've stayed in love with him. Am I exhausted right now? Hell yeah! But I cannot say that I regret training for a marathon. A kind of helps you make your little excuses vanish like - poof - gone. There are a lot of things that seem easy compared to marathon training. It's possible we got rid of 60 grocery bags full of books this weekend. I don't know how many pounds we carried down the stairs, and out to the car, not to mention the books from John Anthony's storage unit we did last weekend. My husband was lying on the ground, saying he was sore all over. 

My crazy pack rat brain is like, now what are we going to put on those shelves now that they're empty. But maybe it's okay to just chill, breathe, and leave the shelves empty for a minute. I was watching some old videos from two or three years ago, and our house was so much emptier. And when we moved into these condos, we told ourselves, we're not going to fill this thing. We won't be those parents who hoard and hang on to every little thing. We are going to let go of toys. We're not going to let every bedroom fill up with crap. Honestly, that takes a lot of dedication and consistency. It's not necessarily about recovering the money you spent on those things. Negative space and being able to clean your space is also of some value. And I think for us, not that we're planning on moving soon, but when we do think about having to move, those books are like the number one thing hanging over our heads like a guillotine. We're like, ugh, moving those books would be so hard though. So it feels good that we just got rid of them.

What's great about Buy Nothing is the value associated with making connections to other folks in the community. We met some nice people at the Buy Nothing free sale. I love giving stuff to my Fit4Mom community at the sip & swap. I love seeing Albert's hand-me-downs on another little kiddo. Kids that I've known since they were born. And these moms have known Albert since he was born. It's the community we've always wanted. It's a shame that the pandemic drove a wedge into our connections, but somehow it feels like we're finally starting to overcome that separation. And now we're able to let go of the stuff that we acquired during the pandemic when it didn't feel safe to go to museums. We don't need to make our house like a museum.

Bye-bye books

Hello June

Here are two blogs that I had stored in my Google Keep. They're not directly related, but what they have in common is that I didn't have time to type them out. They were all dictated using a voice-keyboard. Mostly while walking. I decided that when I got done with teaching I would subject myself to a health gauntlet and visit all the doctors that I had been procrastinating. I was confident that I would be able to convince someone to prescribe me some hormone replacement therapy (HRT). But I was unsuccessful. 

Here's what the doctor sent me. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322587

And here's what I sent back:

High cholesterol (even with fasting) and pruritus (hands, feet, and vulvar) together are perimenopause symptoms. I don't want to ignore the cholesterol issue, which concerns me. Additionally, mood swings have been severe with unexplained crying mid-cycle and 10-days of PMS now.

I have been using Ultimate Hydration Body Cream for my hands and feet, which was one of your suggestions. I've tried Bounce Back Muscle Recovery Body Butter for my legs, sometimes a lotion with cooling menthol can distract my mind from the itching long enough to fall asleep. I have tried aloe vera aftersun with lidocaine, which does not seem to help. I have even tried Moisturizing Coconut Shea Butter Lotion on my vulva when it gets bad. It's so hard to sleep when I can't get any relief.

Yes, antihistamine diphenhydramine HCl at 50 mg does help, but I worry about its long-term side effects. It carries a risk of dependence, and I am 4321 days sober as of today (one day at a time). I don't want to rely on anything that can lead to dependency. This information is relevant to my concerns.

I'm not sure which type of Estroven is recommended; several types exist. I cannot see how much black cohosh is in each tablet. A review article suggests taking up to 120 mg of the drug/day, which is actually three tablets. Some studies showed that black cohosh increased HDL and lowered LDL, but not all studies showed this. More studies showed that black cohosh had no effect on cholesterol.

Now here are some more thoughts that I didn't share with the doctor:

Since meeting with my GP, I started taking a Menopause formula as a daily multivitamin. It contains soy isoflavones. How much of that is recommended for a daily allowance of isoflavones? Is there a danger of overdose? Will these new supplements together help regulate my symptoms? I don't have time to look into all these things! 

How much calcium is too much calcium? Should I add a fish oil supplement? If black cohosh has efficacy comparable to low-dose transdermal estradiol, why can't I take estradiol instead? It seems more prudent to take regulated substances instead of botanicals not regulated by the FDA. Estradiol plus intermittent micronized progesterone had a significant impact on LDL cholesterol.

And furthermore, can we trust the government right now anyway? Why is our country being run by influencers and funding is being slashed for women's health initiatives? We can't win right now! It was a very heavy Month of Mama this year. With my units being cut at CSUN, I can't afford to hire an outside doctor right now and pay for hormones out of pocket.

Mother's Day Musings

I feel like as women we are taught to accept less. To do more with less. To work with scarcity. And create magic. And that's how we are incrementally left with nothing. The gift we want is to be left alone. We're so tired of creating all the magic for others. 

I am dictating this while wearing a bra that I bought 6 years ago that's totally falling apart. It doesn't fit well. It's not supportive. This should be totally unacceptable. Why is it that advertising can make such big promises? But in the end most garments don't even do the bare minimum in terms of fit and function. 

I was doing so well in my Motherhood Maternity era, both during pregnancy and early Postpartum. In my Kindred Bravely era. In my Latched Mama era. In my LuLaRoe era. My Levi's jeggings era. Now that I'm in my Sweatpants era, I really don't give a crap about how other people perceive me in terms of what I'm wearing. Melani Sanders or “justbeingmelani” Instagram started a WDNC club. I appreciate what I learned during my Sarah Wells era and my Ceres Chill era. And I'm ready for whatever is next.

You don't matter

What I hear the medical establishment saying to me right now is your pain is not real. You're suffering is insignificant. Your problems are imaginary. This is what people have dealt with for thousands of years. We don't care about you. We don't care that you're suffering. We do not care that your life is impacted. We do not care that you're not able to sleep. We don't care about your history of substance abuse. We don't care to actually help you. We don't think you matter enough to focus on your problem. Your contributions to society are insignificant or are largely in the past. You do not have enough value to warrant our attention.

We will address each of your symptoms as individual problems, not look at the total sum of what these clues point to. We are going to dismiss your concerns one at a time, chalk it up to a lack of healthy diet, a lack of exercise, and simply a family history of high cholesterol. We're not going to look at the bigger picture and say that this is a new problem that has arisen in the last 5 years. We're going to say that your numbers are borderline anyway, therefore no action is required.

At what time do you realize you aren't going to be able to fall asleep? At what point do you cancel tomorrow's workout? When do you shut off the alarm you had set for tomorrow? At what point do you realize it's too hot in your bedroom? At what point do you start googling symptoms? At what point do you lean into online providers and telehealth? At what point do you give up? I don't want to be the person who has given up on myself. I want to keep moving forward. I want to realize I am only at midlife. I have 45 more years to go. Family tree roots run deep.

References

C. Castelo-Branco, M. Gambacciani, A. Cano, M. J. Minkin, D. Rachoń, X. Ruan, A.-M. Beer, J. Schnitker, H.-H. Henneicke-von Zepelin & S. Pickartz (2021) Review & meta-analysis: isopropanolic black cohosh extract iCR for menopausal symptoms – an update on the evidence, Climacteric, 24:2, 109-119, DOI: 10.1080/13697137.2020.1820477

Gordon JL, Rubinow DR, Watkins L, Hinderliter AL, Caughey MC, Girdler SS. The Effect of Perimenopausal Transdermal Estradiol and Micronized Progesterone on Markers of Risk for Arterial Disease. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2020 May 1;105(5):e2050–60. doi: 10.1210/clinem/dgz262.

On the plus side, I got results back from the pap smear (normal), the mammogram (normal), and the bone density scan (normal). I got a new eyeglass prescription but there has been a delay. The glasses should be ready for me to pick up in a few days. I am still waiting on the referral for colonoscopy.

sparkle squad

I am writing this post as I have decided that I will not renew my Sparkle Squad membership. If you're interested in joining, membership opens starting JUNE 10th. 

The first sparkle skirt I got was the minnie mouse one. I saw that the red with white polka dots skirt was in a sparkle skirt "starter kit" and I was horrified to see that I was so basic. 

I also dorked out with the compression socks, which were also part of the cringy "starter kit." Next I got the magical shapes skirt, which I thought would be perfect for Disneyland.

Then I started collecting the sparkly ones. I got this brilliant idea to have my sisters dress up as the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty. And this is the best picture I got of all 3 of us together.

Then I joined the sparkle squad and had the opportunity to buy a bunch of skirts for a low price. There is always a sparkle squad signature skirt for each year. 

I also got the visor with the reflective detail. I got an extra one and gave it to my MIL for Christmas. I got a lightning visor, too. I got a Tinkerbell visor as well and a mermaid visor.

I got one tank top that says "strong women make waves" in advance of Kamala Harris winning the election; my hopes were high for a minute there.

I like this Encanto skirt. I have no idea why I don't wear it more often. I also love this Be Awesome trucker hat. I wear it so often and get lots of compliments about it.

The squad had some fun dress-ups to celebrate the summer Olympics. I got a gold sparkle skirt and many others from Poshmark (used). The squad facebook group also offered used skirts and visors. I found a lot of calf sleeves and some shwings on Poshmark too.

I got the snowflake skirt for the Holiday Half, and then I think I tried to stop buying sparkle skirts. I have so many, and I rarely wear them. The reason is that they're kind of unnecessary. But I still want to collect more because I'm silly and love collecting stuff.

I did get the checkered flag skirt because we already had some Lightning McQueen t-shirts from a Halloween costume, and I thought it would go well with the Lightning visor I already had. But again, I haven't even worn it yet.

There were other elements to the squad membership. Like there were a ton of Elfster swaps that happened. There was a pumpkin swap, a sock swap, a friendship bracelet swap, and a Valentine's day card exchange, a sticker swap. But it felt like a membership (that you pay for) to a club that gives you opportunities to buy more stuff throughout the year. I did friend a bunch of people on instagram. I've written previously about the components of the Sparkle Squad that I do think were a great idea. Besides the follow train and the spirit days, we were encouraged to:

• share BRAND/ AMBASSADOR discounts
• share race discounts or coupon code
• ask for the Traveling Squad Unicorn Necklace
• download and share Accountability trackers in Canva

So I will say farewell to the squad. Thank you for the inspiration and best of luck in the 2025-26 season. I had already decided not to renew this membership, but now that CSUN has offered me WAY less classes, it's a necessity for me to cut out any and all unnecessary spending for the foreseeable future until things improve for us financially. And this post is one that I started writing on April 22nd and just now finished, so that's a 6-week delay! Gorsh. We've been busy.