Breastfeeding is not All or Nothing. I had to EP for the first 7 weeks. My baby had a small mouth, too small for my large breasts. I just had to be patient and let his mouth grow I guess. The first time he latched was in the middle of the night, in complete darkness, while we were both relaxed and it was a total accident on my part. He didn't do it well during the day for a while after that so it wasn't like a switch flipped and it started working 100% of the time.
For the first few months, I pumped every 3 hours, but fed on demand. We alternated formula and pumped breastmilk for the first 3 weeks. It was very confusing to me and I felt like a failure because BFing didn't work right away. It was complicated and felt like I was still in the hospital hooked up to a bunch of tubes and wires, but pumping did help me establish my milk supply.
My baby also started sleeping 12 hours through the night pretty early on so I kept up with MOTN pumping for 3 months *after* BFing was established. I finally quit MOTN pumping when I had a 280 oz freezer stash (which we ended up dumping because it tasted like crap and now LO won't take a bottle, but that's another story). Also I was still engorged until 14 weeks which was alarming because everything I read said that supply should regulate at 12 weeks. "Facts" are based on averages and no individual is exactly average, we're all unique.
BFing has pros and cons. If I had an accurate knowledge of the pros and cons, I might not have been willing to work at it. It's taking up so much of my autonomy, I had no idea. My mom fed us formula so I didn't really get any advice from her on that. My motivation to BF was strictly the convenience of not having to wash bottles. And I heard that BF poops were better for cloth diapers. And those seem like just about the silliest reasons now. But those were the motivations that kept me working towards it.
Emily Oster's book Cribsheet articulates that there is no overwhelming scientific evidence either way (formula or breastmilk). So I guess it's up to the individual's motivation. I felt like my husband missed out on a lot when we stopped using bottles. He was less able to help me and is only now regaining his ability to calm and comfort LO by cosleeping during daytime naps.
DH's increase in help is necessitated by me going back to work part time, DH has to supervise LO for a few hours per day. We try to line up LO's nap times with my office hours and classes. Luckily we started purees at 5 months so DH can feed LO that way.
Just say, it's complicated. You'll figure out what's best for your family.
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