Festivus

I'm actually kind of sick of all the social media posts about women doing all of the heavy lifting during the holidays. At some point, if you don't want to be the one doing all the heavy lifting, you have to put the burden down and do nothing. And wait for somebody else to pick it up, or make peace with the fact that not only do you not have to be the person to carry it, but actually, maybe it doesn't even need to be carried. Like, yes, if you don't do it, it won't get done. But also, maybe you can live without it. 

I'm saying this as someone who has been carrying a very heavy burden for the entire past few months. So heavy, in fact, that when I finally put it down, I'm almost catatonic. I'm having like a two-day migraine headache, and I feel like I physically cannot go on. My body is breaking down like my ribcage. And my neck.

I was listening to the Rise and Run podcast, and they mentioned the Airing of Grievances as a part of the Festivus holiday. I think it might be healthy. To prevent carrying these grievances into the new year. Our son, Albert, was upset that we didn’t do stockings on Christmas morning. I just couldn't swing it. I had stocking stuffers, but we never hung the stockings, so I mistakenly assumed Albert wouldn't expect one. 

My husband seemed to really get it. He realized he hadn't bought or wrapped any of the gifts under the tree. And he offered to do something to make a stocking for maybe New Year's Day. But to my knowledge, nothing has been done about it. And there will not be time. But he asked me not to do it because he feels bad about not doing anything else. I don't know.

We spent Christmas Eve baking. Sugar cookies, candy canes, fudge, peanut butter balls, and gingerbread. Mike delivered the plates to the neighbors. It was a good project for a rainy day when we couldn't do much else.

I don't know what more to do. Now I'm trying to decide whether to take Albert to the winter academy. It's a normal school day the week before they go back to school. Shouldn't I be jazzed to spend every possible moment with my kid? But it is tempting to go for it, since this break has been full of screen time, meltdowns, and sugar.