Sparkle Season

I am already exhausted. The pressure to create the holiday magic is so real. I don't know if it actually brings me joy or am I a product of my culture. Like, am I just acculterated to feel like I must do these things:

Bake cookies

Decorate a tree

Buy gifts for people

Wrap the gifts

Hang stockings

Get stocking staffers

Plan a holiday meal / menu

Plan holiday experiences

Watch holiday movies

Drink holiday drinks

All while teaching six classes, leading a run club, and doing normal stuff like laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, meal prep, and trying like hell to drink enough water and not forget to do anything important.

I surround myself with calendars and to do lists. I am literally terrified of forgetting something. Thoughts flit into my consciousness and then right back out again just as quickly. I can't write them down fast enough and I can't remember what I already forgot.

I want the holidays to sparkle but I am not home enough to enjoy the decor. I have no idea what gifts I have already. I may have sent gifts to people. I bought holiday cards and stamps but I don't know when I will have the chance to address them, write a message, and put them in the mail.

My eye is twitching. It has been doing this for about 4 days. I'm worried it's due to stress and dehydration.

Cost of Racecations

I got a really nice compliment from my coworker today. She said I'm looking good in the body. And the skin too. I feel so much gratitude that I have the resources to spend on running and running-related travel. I know it's not the end of the year (yet). But I thought it would be interesting to look at how much we spent in our "startup" year compared to the following year. I told myself I wouldn't need to buy new stuff as much in 2025 since I already had most of the things I would need to complete a marathon.

TOTAL SPENDING IN 2024 = $6549

• Disneyland 5k 2024 $1466
• LA Big 5k 2024 $284
• OC Marathon 2024 $522
• CdM Scenic 5k 2024 $640
• SMC Classic 10k 2024 $1063
• Mission Inn Run 2024 $1075
• Holiday Half Marathon 2024 $1499

TOTAL SPENDING IN 2025 = $6476

• LA Marathon 2025 $1366
• Rose Bowl Half 2025 $724.11
• CdM Scenic 5k 2025 $1749.42
• Cookie Mile 2025 $35
• Bimbo Global 10k 2025 FREE
• Mission Inn Run 10k 2025 $1804.95
• Clueless and Breathless 2025 $35
• Random Clothing, Hats, Sunglasses $462
• Shoes $301

PROJECTED SPENDING IN 2026...

• 1/11 Citrus Heritage Run 2026 $129.70 registration
• 1/18 Rose Bowl Half 2026 $126.42 registration
• 2/15 Palm Desert Half 2026 $80.50 registration + $249.00 hotel
• 3/8 LA Marathon $170 registration
• 6/10 Epic Sister Camping / Disneyland Trip $2000+
• 8/1 Nebraska Family Reunion $2000+

I didn't join Sparkle Squad for the 2025-26 season. I didn't renew my Strava subscription. I kind of miss it but also kind of not. Definitely the Sparkle Squad was an opportunity to spend more via the facebook group and little gift exhanges throughout the year. But I do kind of miss the features of the Strava subscription, I almost renewed it yesterday when I tried to access the heatmap for the purposes of route planning and I couldn't see street-level details. But I also miss when it would tell you "Athlete Intelligence" about something it noticed about your run. Usually it would say something encouraging like, wow that was a lot of climbing, or you really pushed your pace. It felt like I had a friend encouraging me for what was new or improved with each training session.

I guess what I'm trying to do right now is let go of the Palm Desert Half. I've never done it before and if I did it, I could get another medal for the Run Riverside County Challenge. I skipped Every Woman's Marathon 2025, and I'm okay with it since I was awarded a greater teaching load mid-semester. I thought it would be a nice trip, out to Palm Desert. But now I do have my Spring 2026 teaching schedule. Haha. Looks like I'll be running a marathon every Tuesday and Thursday.

SPRING 2026 TEACHING SCHEDULE

• MW 09:30am-12:20pm
• TR 09:30am-12:20pm
• TR 1:00pm-01:50pm
• TR 02:30pm-05:20pm

It's uncertain whether RunClub+ will continue for Spring 2026. I will be making enough from my CSUN units, so I don't really need the income from the side hustle, but it is nice to have the support from the other moms in the group. I am trying to unsubscribe from disney influencers because I don't want FOMO. I'm close to unsubscribing from LARR as well because they keep talking about this half-marathon and that drumstick dash. I'm trying to enjoy the races I signed up for and run the training runs. The actual race day doesn't feel as special when you're running a world major every other weekend. I enjoyed the Bimbo Global race a lot more than I thought I would. I enjoyed the Mission Inn Run a lot less than I thought I would.

I want to do the Mission Inn Run in 2026 because they have a legacy program. I would get a loyalty item, such as a hat, and a 3-year pin! I could put the pin on my patch jacket. It did work well to have our son stay with his grandma. However, kiddo was already nervous about Thanksgiving because he thought we would be dropping him off at grandma's again for an overnight. He said he was scared about that and didn't want to be away from us. So I would consider that when planning the potential Palm Desert Half and any other races for 2026. I'm glad I didn't sign up for the Holiday Half, even though that race was very special to me last year.

My motivation for running is to set a good example for my son. I took a few days off from my training plan, and I noticed that I had a noticeable drop in gratitude and joy. I had an increase in resentment and feelings of being disgruntled. I stayed home on Sunday when I would normally be out running and it was like I was in the way of my husband and the routine he's established with our son, they have some stuff that they enjoy doing together on Sunday while I'm out on my long run. So, I guess, it's become ingrained as a long-term pattern now that we've been doing this for two years. I really remember Thanksgiving weekend 2023 as the first runs leading up to the Disneyland 5k 2024.

As far as traditions this holiday season, I think we're going to just stick to training and our weekly routine and not do much else. Like, yes, bake cookies at home. But no, we're not planning to do any elaborate holiday light display that you have to pay to get into. I am still taking advantage of Buy Nothing to get things that are new to me, but also free. Yes, I have been stockpiling gifts for Albert to open on Christmas, which, by the way, we have no plans for. About half the gifts are games, which we can play at home. Running and doing my training is bringing me joy. And I look forward to returning to Fit4Mom in-person classes with Albert over winter break. I would also like to go rollerskating or ice skating at least once.

Fever Pitch

Fever pitch means a state of extreme excitement or agitation, and its origin is related to the high temperature of a fever. The earliest known use of the noun was in the 1830s, appearing in print in 1837, likely referencing the high temperature of a fever to describe intense emotions. The phrase is commonly associated with sports.

I have been working so hard since I got these new classes. Breakneck pace is a phrase that comes to mind. My mind is endlessly cycling through the "to do" list. Doing what absolutely needs to get done. Just putting out fires. Not really able to think about long-term strategy or even simple housekeeping.

Hot take versus hot flash

And I had such a bad PMS and hormone rollercoaster this cycle. My flow finally arrived this weekend but the past two weeks were either anger, anxiety, or overheating. It was hard to run and it was hard to be nice. I had to apologize to my family on more than one occasion.

The foot pain is real and I purchased a couple of things to try to address it. I bought lock laces, which are kind of like a bungee, stretchable laces. I also got some toe spreaders, to straighten out my little pinky toe. My sister said the pain that I was getting on the outer part of my foot is most likely due to my shoes being too pointy in the toe box. I guess it's called a bunionette, which is acute sounding name, but it didn't feel very cute.

Bad News Update

I think I'm starting to process through my grief, after I got the bad news that my cousin died last friday. It hasn't even been a week. I told my best friend from college. And I also told my best friend from high school. And just today I told the crossing guard that stands in front of my child's elementary school. It has been hard to go to work and pretend like I'm fine. I've done a lot of sobbing at my desk. 

I've been trying to think of ways that I can honor her. But so far nothing feels right. The only thing that feels logical is to reach out to the tough mamas in my life that are still out there doing the work, fighting the fight, parenting, being an athlete, being a strong member of their community. Just reaching out to them and saying how much I appreciate them. How much the world needs them. How much their family and friends benefit from their presence and strength.

I feel like this tragedy has helped me just take my foot off the gas pedal, a little bit with work stuff. Reevaluate my priorities. Ask myself what things are worth stressing about, and what things are really just small? And I can let them go. It's really terrible to read the obituary of a forty two year old woman.

        

Katherine Gogela Obituary (1983 - 2025) - Lincoln, NE

https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/journalstar/name/katherine-gogela-obituary?id=60019271

Lincoln doctor dies after being hit by SUV https://share.google/98sVPQD924YHBW3kx

Stanford Student Dies After Being Hit By Van While Jogging / Nebraska woman struck crossing road https://share.google/1dPeUX0emO5LUJtYb

I used to make very insensitive remarks like, "If I die while I'm out on a bike ride, at least I died doing something I loved." The truth is, at that time, I was suicidal. I was under so much strain and stress during graduate school that the thought of dying was like being able to rest, and I actually wanted to rest. Now that I'm a mom, I definitely don't want to die. I want to be able to exercise outdoors safely without fear of being killed by a vehicle.

The other thing I said, right when it happened, is, "I don't even know what she was training for." My mom said, "She was probably just out enjoying the day, because it was the last beautiful day before winter weather hits." But still in my mind, I had a feeling she was training for something. A mother of four doesn't just go out for a walk because she feels like it. Katie was an accomplished physician and a busy working mom. To be so high-achieving, she was a type A personality.

I looked her up on Athlinks. I found out what name she uses to register for races. I found out that she had already completed two marathons: Panama City Beach Marathon in 2022 and Grandma's Marathon in 2023. But that still didn't answer the question, on that day, on that run, what was she training for?

The answer came over the weekend, Katie was training for The Good Life Halfsy. A half-marathon in Lincoln, which Katie had run before. She was well into her two-week taper period. She was killed on a Friday, the half-marathon she had been training for was on Sunday. I cried a lot on Monday, on what should have been her Medal Monday. Somehow, it brings me peace to know that she was training for something. 

Gratitude Season

As we transition from spooky season and into the winter months, I thought it would be a good idea to post a quick blog entry before November slips away. I've been having thoughts but not having time to write about them.

Trust Your Training

One thought that came to mind was to trust the training plan. And when you can't perfectly adhere to the training plan for whatever reason, you can trust that you've done most of the work and that's going to be enough to get you through your goal race.

What happened is that we've been getting sick (with diarrhea), and that's one reason why I will not run. The rule of thumb that I use is if it is a runny nose or sore throat, it's okay to run. But if it's below the neck (vomiting or diarrhea), then you should rest until you feel better. 

I am okay with my body 🫠

Vs my body is amazing ‼️

I wanted to say my body is amazing, but I think the statement, "I am okay with my body" resonates more truthfully. I do appreciate my body and I am ready to be filmed while teaching. And I feel like my body looks fine in clothes. But this gratitude season, I would like to work on getting closer to believing the latter. 

After spending some time thinking about it, I probably have a warped body image because I work at a university, and the majority of people that I see are in their late teens or early 20s. If I were around just women my age, I would probably feel differently. Also, since I became a mom at an older age, most of the moms that I know are younger than me. I don't idolize youth, by any means. I am trying to lean into my sage middle-age.

What are happy tits? Where can I get some? I saw an ad for a band called The Happy Fits but my brain assumed it was happy tits. My sister identified my style of movement, "shuffle running," and hypothesized that maybe I run that way to minimize bounce because of my happy tits.

I think everyone has some part of their body that causes them to feel a certain kind of way. But let me tell you, your body is amazing. You're crushing it. And I'm so glad we're doing this together

Personal austerity: The term can also describe an individual or household living a more frugal and simple lifestyle due to financial hardship. As we move beyond this era. I am buying All the Things. It's nuts. I want to stop but the austerity I felt repressed some things and now I'm reacting to that by over-buying. Or am I?

Last bit of news is very bad news. Another cousin of mine has died while running. Hit by a car. Just like the last one. I don't know how to feel. 

Struggle Meals

When we found out that my pay would be only 53% of what it was last year, we started scrambling to see how we could cut $2800 from our monthly bills.

I used the feature of our banking app to see how our monthly spending broke down by category and I saw that we were spending $2800 per month on Target, Amazon, and McDonald's. Roughly.

So I thought, this will be easy. Cut out unnecessary purchases AND going out to eat, and we'll be good. Turns out that we buy a good deal of necessities from Target and Amazon. Boring stuff like toilet paper, tampons, and shampoo, among other things. And our kid was not a big fan of giving up McDonald's completely.

So we cut other things. Our zoo membership, our arboretum membership, our aquarium membership, our Disneyland magic key, our children's museum membership. It's not the cost of the membership that gets us, it's the fact that every time we go, we end up buying lunch, souvenirs, and snacks. It's not fun to go if we can't enjoy ourselves.

We cut any subscriptions we aren't loving. I haven't had a haircut in months. I started using shampoo and conditioner that I had in storage rather than buying new. 

We decided to limit McDonald's to three times per month. Our child decided it would be on the 9th, 19th, and 29th. We go to the store without our child, meaning one parent stays home with the child while the other parent shops from a shopping list and only buys what is on the list.

Now that my pay *might* be similar to what it was... More will be revealed on that by the end of this week ...we have started relaxing some of these restrictions. We also found that our local Chick-fil-A has a "kids eat free" night with purchase of an adult meal. It helped to know that we would get one night out every week guaranteed.

Another thing I did was eat at Costco food court once or twice a week. $2 Pizza or $1.50 hot dog. I tripped across the concept of a Struggle Meal. It's the intersection of many factors: low budget, few ingredients, quick to prepare, low skill, low energy, and with common (not rare) ingredients. I love this idea for working parents as well as college students. My favorite is spaghetti with butter and Parmesan cheese. Super simple, quick and easy.

Now I can reveal that my pay is only $200 less than it was last year. But remember prices of EVERYTHING have nearly doubled. And our rent increased 6% this month. Mike was scheduled to get a cost of living adjustment, which the CSU calls the "steps" program, but they flagged him for having an already inflated salary according to his years of service. So he didn't get a raise.

What will history say about this time? The government is shutting down, firing federal employees by the thousands, canceling programs that compromise our social safety net. While building a gold ballroom and giving subsidies to other countries that suck up to us. Are we heading for an economic crisis a la great depression? Who knows?

For now, we will be okay. But I do think that the use of #strugglemeal and #recessioncore are indicative of the true lived experience for people in our country. We are still working SO hard. But our daily lives are filled with fewer treats because our buying power is getting ever weaker.

Mission Inn Run 2025 Race Report

We had a blast at the 2025 Mission Inn Run. I met all my goals. My husband didn't get to run his race, but he seems okay with that. We got two nights in the hotel without our kid, since he stayed the night at his grandma's house. That was a first!

The event itself: Where? How long? When? Weather?

This event benefits a historic landmark that has been a hotel for over a century. It was restored 30 years ago, but needs constant maintenance to remain a cultural landmark. It's been a stop for travelers for 150 years. It even served as dormitories for UC Riverside at one point in the mid-20th century. Nixon was married there, so was Bette Davis, Reagan honeymooned there. My husband and I spent our wedding night there and all of our out-of-town guests stayed there for the wedding weekend. The weather on race day was ideal. Sunday, October 19th, 2025. Mostly Sunny. Low: 54℉ High: 79℉.

Course description and evaluation of event logistics

The 10k course goes through Fairmount Park, along the Santa Ana River Bike Trail (SART), around Mt Rubidoux and re-joins the half marathoners at Ryan Bonaminio Park. You climb Palm Ave, adjacent to Evergreen Memorial Park, go over the Buena Vista bridge. Then it's mostly flat or downhill through the Eastside neighborhood, which is one of Riverside's oldest residential neighborhoods. Founded in 1870, the Eastside was originally home to many workers in Riverside's citrus industry. It is known for being one of the most walkable neighborhoods in the city. Large trees, wide boulevards, lots of gardens and shade. At 3rd Street, the 5k merged with the 10k and half marathon. It re-energized me for the last mile.

How did you train for the event?

The training that helped me most was beach miles with valley runners Los Angeles x Goodr. I changed my split from 2 min run / 1 min walk to 2 min run / 30 sec walk and I did practice that on my last long run before the race (8 miles). I'm following the LA Road Runners level 3 plan for the Los Angeles Marathon. This was supposed to be a taper week. We have 20 more weeks until the full marathon.

Gear and Nutrition

I carried very little with me. I knew roughly where the water stops would be. The 10k had four water stations. I also knew where the photographer would be. 😉 I wore my new Crowned Athletic flow top, red Arabian Nights. People called me "red dragon" or just "red." One guy said it looked like a troll threw up on me, since I had glitter on my face and a sequin headband. Sorry, I passed you, on the right, going up a hill, LOL.

I drank an electrolyte drink (325 mL) electrolit during my warm-up walk. I probably drank 2 cups of coffee with one packet of collagen in the hotel room. I ate one Rx bar 1 hour prior to the race start. I ate two fruit strips about 15 minutes prior to race start. I waited until I passed the 3 mile mark to take my Gu Raspberry Lemonade flavor. I took the Gu much earlier last year and got tired in mile 5. I felt strong and powerful throughout the race all the way into the finish line. My heart was pounding but I stayed in zone 4.

Specific experiences

My goal was to make it to the kids race. I did make it. But it felt like my mouth was totally dry. I couldn't run with my son, he's definitely faster than me on a good day. But that cottonmouth feeling was so bizarre. I ate two bananas and drank about 16 oz of water between my race and his. I had to speed walk from the finish line back to the start line to catch him in time. I had about 10 minutes to spare.

I had a profound thought between miles 1 and 2. This was my first 10k race as a marathoner. Even though I had already done the Bimbo Global race this season, I didn't feel that it was as important as the Mission Inn Run. I felt the sense of pride that I have experienced a marathon build and now racing a 10k seems like no big deal, just a stepping stone during a taper week, on my way to training for the full marathon. It gave me a sense of peace and allowed me to settle in to the race.

Finish and associated emotions

I was happy when I finished. I wasn't looking at my watch while running. I was just looking at my Gym Boss. I told myself not to worry the whole race about finish time. But I knew from my playlist and from the time on the clock at the finish line that I was going to make it. We ran past the start line and I saw my son and husband there. It was so cute to hear them cheering. My son wanted a hug but I gave him 2 high fives instead.

Overall evaluation of the event

Overall, I loved this event. Really enjoyed my time in Riverside. There were enough port-a-potties to use before all the races. Enough people were milling about starting very early, like 5am, so if you want to walk to warm up like we did, you wouldn't have to feel unsafe. The weather was great. By the race start at 7:45am, the sun was up and very bright.

Budget

$900 for three nights

$139.24 for parking & incidentals

$129.70 for race registration

$59.78 for gas

$284.28 for Crowned Athletic stuff from 70% off sale

$291.95 for food & dining

$1804.95 for the race weekend

trade-offs

The trade-offs in life that I'm talking about is when you get back from a run you have three choices: eat, shower, stretch. It seems like I generally do two out of the three but never all three. But more broadly than that it's like the choice between healthy food and junk food. You can choose healthy food but it takes a lot more time and effort. You can choose junk food but it's going to make you feel like crap. Another one that's related to Mom guilt: you can let your kid eat candy, but then you're going to have to pay when they go to the dentist to have their cavities fixed. Or you can have a daily struggle to start brushing their teeth when they're 6 months old. You can drink enough water to be hydrated, but then you have to go pee every hour. Or you can drink less, but then every cell in your body will suffer because you're dehydrated. We have these daily small choices that add up to have a big impact. 

I was listening to a podcast this morning about Mom guilt. We're heading out for a racecation this week. As I was training this morning, I was thinking about what food to send for my kid. He is staying two nights at his grandma's house for the first time. The podcast said you can bend over backwards to map out every detail for your Mother-in-law or you can just drop them off and go, and let Grandma and Grandpa figure it out. It's not that I don't trust MIL, it's more like I just want everything to go smoothly and for them all to part ways with good memories, not stress.

I guess I'm just thinking about the whole concept of "having it all." Being a working mom, you do have trade-offs. You're going to let somebody else watch your child, spend time with your child, while you work. And when you are together, you're stressed about work. Not to mention housework like dishes, vacuuming, and laundry. But working more and having more money means you are less stressed financially, so you can buy higher quality food and then feel better.

Let me not forget, you can work on your phone while you're in the waiting room at the tire repair shop. You'll have your tire repaired, and you'll get work done, but you'll have carpal tunnel in your wrist from working on your phone.