Sparkle Season

I am already exhausted. The pressure to create the holiday magic is so real. I don't know if it actually brings me joy or am I a product of my culture. Like, am I just acculterated to feel like I must do these things:

Bake cookies

Decorate a tree

Buy gifts for people

Wrap the gifts

Hang stockings

Get stocking staffers

Plan a holiday meal / menu

Plan holiday experiences

Watch holiday movies

Drink holiday drinks

All while teaching six classes, leading a run club, and doing normal stuff like laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, meal prep, and trying like hell to drink enough water and not forget to do anything important.

I surround myself with calendars and to do lists. I am literally terrified of forgetting something. Thoughts flit into my consciousness and then right back out again just as quickly. I can't write them down fast enough and I can't remember what I already forgot.

I want the holidays to sparkle but I am not home enough to enjoy the decor. I have no idea what gifts I have already. I may have sent gifts to people. I bought holiday cards and stamps but I don't know when I will have the chance to address them, write a message, and put them in the mail.

My eye is twitching. It has been doing this for about 4 days. I'm worried it's due to stress and dehydration.