Big Trippin

So we ended up on a whirlwind week-long trip kind of by accident. My mother-in-law first came up with the idea to take us to Legoland. Then I wanted to go to Disneyland during the holiday season. We made those theme park reservations October 20th. We made all our hotel reservations on Oct 21st. Then my brother-in-law decided to join us the following weekend so we extended our vacation. So it was like 3 x 2 night trips but all in a row.

I'm writing this as we wait to check in to our 3rd hotel. What I am grateful for is that we had 1 day without driving between each driving day. And if we do this again, we agree that it would be more relaxing to stay 5 nights at the same hotel. Also it was a smart idea to have a day in between the theme parks to relax, rather than having 3 days in the park continuously.

When we left home around 9am on Monday morning, I believed we had everything except a soft structured baby carrier. It was on my packing list but I forgot to put it in the car. We drove to South Coast Plaza shopping mall, which was a great place to eat and use the facilities. Parking was free and the mall was decorated so wonderfully for the Christmas holidays. Albert rode the carousel 🎠 with his grandparents, who joined us at the mall. Then we drove caravan style down to Legoland. We arrived just in time to check in at 4pm.

Legoland has a lot of streamlined procedures for check in and check out. They text you a hyperlink, you fill out a form, then when you arrive you scan a code from your phone and an attendant gives you your room keys. Of course they also take your card for incidentals, parking, resort fee, etc. We had a dinner reservation for 4:30pm so we just took our purses and a diaper change kit and a toddler busy bag. We scoped out the layout of the hotel, took a quick peek in our rooms and then reconvened for dinner. The menu wasn't extensive. The prices were steep. But there were TVs and a pit of legos and a play area and the waitstaff was friendly and they brought the kid's food right away, which was great.

After dinner we went out to our vehicles to get the bags. Unfortunately the valets wouldn't let us use the carts so we had to load everything on the stroller and/or carry it. We got it in one trip.

The layout of the rooms was amazing. There was a kids room with bunk beds and a trundle. The kids room had a TV and a wall-mounted LEGO building scaffold. Then there was a huge bathroom. It was big enough for a wheelchair I would think. There was a stepstool for the potty/sink. The toilet had a kids potty seat incorporated. The shower had a tub and rainfall shower head that could be raised or lowered and the wand was detachable. The bathroom was great. The master bedroom had a wizard theme. I loved all the options for nightlights. I didn't love how there was no couch and we had to eat on the bed to watch TV but I guess they expected us to dine at the restaurant.

The outdoor area had a movie screen, a playground and a pool. We did end up using all those things by the end of our visit. However if it had rained the whole time, we would not have had that benefit. The character meet and greet was right outside on the patio of the restaurant. We got a kick out of that.

We went to bed early and it was hard to sleep that first night. There was no good spot in the room to use as a diaper changing station. Eventually I found it was easier to sleep on the pull-out trundle bed. The kids room had a starry night ceiling that you could turn on. Adorable. We got two little prizes. If you do a scavenger hunt in the hotel, you get a code to unlock the safe and there are some lego packs in there.

Breakfast is included. It was amazing. Oatmeal, biscuits, gravy, fruit, pancakes, waffles, bagels, lots of stuff. Omlette, white rice, fried rice, orange chicken, cereal and milk... I can't even remember everything. There were chocolate chips and sprinkles, sliced cheese, sausage and veggie patties, bacon, juice bar. It was completely awesome. We got early-entry into the park. With breakfast at 7AM we had a lot of time to burn before we could get in but the opening ceremony was very cute.

The Legoland park itself is huge. We did 9 rides in 4 hours with Albert taking a 1 hour nap around 11am. We only got about halfway through the park. There were so many things we skipped. I don't know if we would go back but they did offer us passes to return. The food was good. We got meat at the Knight's Smokehouse BBQ. I think Albert's favorite rides were Cargo Ace and Lost Kingdom Adventure because we rode those twice. There were pretty much NO LINES which was incredible! He also really liked the Bionicle blaster and the Police and Fire Academy which weren't rides per se but more interactive. I think he would do the Academy again in a heartbeat. I also liked that area. Speaking as someone who had a LOT of Lego sets growing up, it was really fun to be immersed in the themes. We avoided the BIG gift shop instead opting for a pick-a-brick near the Deep Sea Adventure.

I couldn't figure out how to manage the photos on the app so we didn't get any formal photos taken but I think we took a good amount ourselves. We left the park at 1:30pm and bid adieu to Albert's grandparents at 2pm. We got a hand stamp to get back into the park just in case, but we didn't end up going back. We also got return tickets (4) for a future visit. Maybe we will use them? At least now we have a good idea of what the park offers.

What we did then was genius. We visited the resort pool. There were floating LEGO bricks for Albert to play with. He had to wear a life jacket. The water was super warm, like a bath. The pool had a zero entry and depth of 1.5 feet so Albert could walk in and out and all around. We stayed there for nearly 2 hours. There were 8 lifeguards for the 3 of us. I imagine in warmer months the poolside restaurant is open but it was closed for our visit. We could almost see the outdoor movie from the pool. If we had stayed 30 minutes longer, we could've watched the sunset. Overall super happy we used the pool. There were restrooms and free towels and you could reserve a cabana for $175.

We ordered takeout from the restaurant and picked it up. Eating in our room while watching Beat Bobby Flay was good. Much more relaxing than trying to entertain and contain our 2 year old. We had a view of Legoland Drive from our room and kiddo enjoyed lining his cars up on the windowsill. The in-room climate control worked great. The mini fridge was a bit loud but I was glad we had it because we ordered too much food, as usual, so it was perfect to store leftovers. The only thing lacking was wireless internet. It was good in some areas of the hotel but not in our room, which meant the Roku player didn't work. Hence Bobby Flay. But there were tons of channels for kids, news channels, and sports channels.

We have been going to bed so early this trip, it's been wonderful. We got a good night's sleep and went to breakfast at 7am again. They emphasize that you need a reservation for all meals, which we had, but I certainly saw lots of people walk up without a reservation and they got seated and served. After breakfast, Mike and Albert went to the playground while I went to pack up the room. That was a great division of labor because it gave me the quiet time I needed to pack up and organize. It gave Albert the time he needed to run, jump and climb. Checkout was easy and automatic. We dropped our keys off in the lobby. All our luggage was rolled out to the car in our stroller, so that worked out. Kiddo fell asleep pretty much right away. I think we were on the road at 9:30am. We drove to our old standby, the Anaheim Gardenwalk. Parked for 3+ hours for $6. We love parking there because there is a restroom near the security station.

We walked Downtown Disney. We got corn dogs for lunch. We walked back to the car and drove to our hotel, arrived at checkin. Got our room. Made a takeout order for CPK and got our food. Booking dog-friendly hotels in the past was a priority. Now it is a risk. We have found that using a lavender spray helps prevent the fleas from bothering us. Oilogic Slumber & Sleep Essential Oil Linen Spray gave us free samples which are great for travel-sized bottles. I would totally buy a larger one to refill the small bottles.

Our LQ room was good except the tub was crushed and when you stood too close to the drain, it felt like the floor was crumbling beneath you. It was terrifying. But other than that, the room was a good fit for our needs. We plugged in our Roku and enjoyed a bit of TV and showers before bed. Next morning was our park day so we woke up at 6am, packed up the stroller and rolled out. We were lined up in plenty of time for rope drop. We got our Golden Hour and then our grey stuff and coffee at the Red Rose Tavern. We did a ride and then had an early lunch overlooking the rivers of America. It turned out to be a great spot because we could watch the boats and trains go by. Since we ate early, we pretty much had the patio to ourselves. Also Albert had a wide choice of dips, French fries, chicken nuggets, and mac n cheese, and 2% milk. Pretty much all his favorite things. So we put him in the stroller and walked through Galaxy's Edge, and he fell asleep immediately. We didn't see Grogu but we definitely looked for him. 

We parked in my favorite nap spot by Big Thunder Mtn RR. Albert slept for a full 2 hours. After the nap we used our Genie+ LL to skip the line and enjoy the holiday overlay of It's A Small World. Mike got us pretzels and we found a spot to watch the Christmas Fantasy parade. After that we got dinner at Bengal BBQ and the three of us were so exhausted that we ate in silence. So we realized it was time to head out. Luckily on our way to the exit, we caught the Main Street USA tree lighting ceremony. It was so cute.

At our hotel, we did showers and finished our dinner and watched a bit of TV. We were in bed shortly after 7pm. I was awakened by the fireworks at 9:30pm but it was okay. I enjoyed watching them from our room.

Next day, we tried having all of us down at continental breakfast. It was messy, loud, but at least we got a free meal. We had the room nearly all packed up before breakfast. After eating, we got the luggage cart and loaded it up. We left a tip in the room for the housekeeping staff. I was astounded at the amount of garbage we amassed during our 2-night stay. We left our car at the hotel and went for another walk through downtown Disney. It's safe and there are restrooms.

When we got back to our car, Albert was ready for his nap. We had a nice drive to the next hotel and he slept for 2 hours again. We arrived at 1pm but checkin wasn't until 4pm so we chilled in the parking lot. That's when I started writing this. Luckily they let us use the restroom in the lobby. And they let us know we could go into our room at 2pm. 

Our 3rd room was very homey. It was a Residence Inn. There was a kitchenette, fireplace, bed, couch, desk, dining table. The cupboards and drawers were stocked with dishsoap, dishtowels, silverware, potato peeler, can opener, bowls, coffee mugs, etc. It was nice after a couple days of not having real mugs for our morning coffee. It was nice to have a full-size fridge. The bathroom had a large countertop and vanity area that was split from the toilet and shower.

We went to the grocery store and bought $70 worth of food and had a quite nice dinner and early bedtime. Continental breakfast was included and there were eggs, sausage and cereal, toast, coffee, juice. It was nice but nothing fancy. I had the idea to burn a log in our fireplace, which I felt was a great way to enjoy the room. Late morning Mike got the idea to do some Christmas shopping. It was ironic to be buying gifts for other people on his birthday. 

This year our Christmas theme turned out to be the year of socks. I bought Woven Pear socks for my family and Mike went to the $1 spot at Target and did the same. Turns out all of us kept it simple this year with cash and gift cards, which was nice. The gifts were small and portable.

Mike’s birthday was great. There were streamers and balloons saying 50th. The plates were metallic and we almost burned the house down by microwaving one. We got dinner catering from El Pollo Loco. It was all so wonderful.

We bundled up and walked down to the boat parade. Since I didn't have a backpack style baby carrier, we took Albert down to the dock in the BOB stroller. As soon as he was floating, he fell asleep. The boats were festive and it was nice to catch up with our nephews. The moment I had to relax on the dock after Albert fell asleep and the parade started was just about as peaceful as I could ever dream up. It was like a Monet or Renoir painting.

The following morning was very relaxing. We packed up from 6-8am. We grabbed continental breakfast and checked out. We rendezvous-ed with Albert's California grandparents for a nice walk through the back bay. Then we met up with Uncle Dave for lunch at Fashion Island. We had an uneventful drive home and made it with 10 minutes to spare for the Zoom call with Albert's Nebraska grandparents. I'm finishing up this blog post at work. I would have loved to embed photos throughout but short video clips will have to do.

November 2022 thoughts

11/2 - Wondering Wednesday - What to do while kiddo is sleeping in? When to send them back to daycare after a few sick days? How long will they continue to fit in the stroller? Mombrain is working overtime this morning!

I did a COVID test yesterday. It was negative, so at least we know it's not that. He has one molar left (top right) that has yet to erupt but he hasn't been asking for Tylenol so I didn't think it was that. He asked me to read him a book about being sad. It was powerful because he doesn't talk yet and maybe that was his way to communicate. His dad took the day off to stay with him because daycare drop-off was such a struggle that I gave up. I dropped LO at DH's office after trying and failing to convince LO to put on his mask FOR AN HOUR. DH has never done drop-off, not even once. So if he takes kiddo back over there, this will be a first.

I found the weight limits on our BOB Revolution CE 2011. There's a default position up to 40 lbs. Position 2 is for Child 41 to 70 pounds. So we have a ways to go. Our kid is light (28 lbs) but tall so his head hits the awning. I guess that's why I thought he might be getting too big. I have a folding wagon with a removable canopy, which allows for much taller kiddos. A snack tray in the wagon would be nice. I also would love if it had the push bar handle instead of a pull handle.

11/7 - November is moving faster than October. October moved faster than September. I barely remember August at this point. I'm so grateful.

We finally have a return to menstruation. It's been 32 months of breastfeeding, which has saved our family $424 in feminine hygiene products. So we celebrated by getting Sprinkles strawberry cupcakes which were delicious and look like boobs.

Also I am celebrating that I AM NOT CRAZY. I was having hormonal rebalancing that made me sad and IT WAS REAL and it will get better.

https://swnsdigital.com/us/2019/11/new-research-reveals-how-much-the-average-woman-spends-per-month-on-menstrual-products/

I bought ~$100 of stuff at the SCV KIDS Online in Valencia in September. I bought ~$100 of stuff at LA KIDS Online in Burbank in October. One of the things I bought was a lot of fake succulents. I stuck them into my vertical garden because my real succulents weren't looking too hot. I think it looks absolutely great. I'm happy we are going to see Thomas the train this weekend to celebrate Veteran's day and spend the day with Albert's grandparents. We are also planning to sell some stuff at LA KIDS San Fernando Valley in Woodland Hills in December. If I can secure a consignor number tomorrow at 10am. Not that I'm trying to make a ton of money, but it would be nice to clean out the garage of stuff that we aren't really using. Some things are just a "miss" in terms of what Albert likes.

11/15 - Oh the money I've spent on vitamins! I seriously wish it would be covered by insurance or just shipped to you (government issued). Right now I'm taking postnatal, vit D, vit B12, Calcium-Magnesium, and lecithin. It's $1.20 per day. It adds up. From kiddo's DOB until now, that would add up to $1,171.20. I had it in my imagination that we could take a nice vacation for the price of these vitamins, and yes, it's true. That's not including the prenatal vitamin, vit B6 and digestive aids I was taking during pregnancy. Like, it feels sad to spend our hard-earned money on this. Like, earning money at all feels sad. I feel sad every time I leave my kiddo behind while I go to work. I feel sad that a mother's work isn't really recognized in our society. I feel sad that there aren't a lot of postnatal visits for the birthing parent. I feel like pelvic floor PT and talk-therapy should be compulsory. And complimentary. I probably feel sad because I'm going through weaning blues. There are symptoms associated with weaning like dizziness that nobody warns you about. I got a whole book on weaning and it's not even mentioned. I feel sad that my non-teaching days are treated like "days off" but they're not really days off, I still have a ton of student work to grade. I'll be over here crying in my tea buried under a mountain of ungraded papers.

TLDR: My kiddo is home sick today.

11/17 - Another day, another daycare battle. I do my best to comply with the mask policy, but now there are signs posted saying the kid cannot enter the classroom OR THE HALLWAY unless they are wearing a mask. Masks are optional in the atrium where sign-in happens. I am so sick of battling my kid to put his mask on.

We had just gotten into a good groove where I take him into the classroom, he washes his hands, we say goodbye and he puts his mask on WILLINGLY. Prior to last week, we would have a battle in the hallway because he couldn't go into his classroom without a mask. Now he can't go into the hallway so we have to battle in the atrium. I ended up carrying him out to the car to "start over" and I had him put his mask on outside before we went into the atrium because it was just so embarrassing to have a screaming kid in the big open indoor area.

I think one of the most unsettling things about the pandemic was the changes in policy. Like when we get used to one thing, then the policy changes, we just have to adjust and it sucks. And it seems arbitrary, we don't always get to know the "why." The kids don't wear masks while sleeping or eating, which they do right there in the classroom. Honestly I don't even know what this battle is about. I just know that if I'm not willing to do it, we'll get kicked out of this daycare and it is well-priced and conveniently located.

I hate that I'm the one consistently doing dropoff and I'm the one fighting this battle and it feels personal that they changed their policy, like it's just to keep us from struggling in the narrow hallway, which was awkward. I find it so challenging to negotiate with Marchling. There's no incentive that I can think of, he's not persuaded by stuffies wearing masks, friends and family members wearing masks, he's not interested in food or toy rewards. All he wants is cuddles and that's not helpful when I'm trying to drop off and get out of there. Lingering definitely made the problem worse.

I honestly don't know how the other parents bargain with their 2-year and 3-year olds. How do they ALL behave so well and we're the only ones who can't seem to get with the program? Sigh... parent-teacher conference is Dec 2nd (two weeks from now) so maybe that will shed some light on these issues we're having. I'm exhausted.

I tried discussing masking in the car. I think I need to start talking about it more and just start him wearing it sooner. What ultimately worked was to reward him with a surprise car.

Mike does pick up and he says half the kids are running around indoors without masks in the afternoon. I just hate that drop off is already so traumatic. Like, who cries at pick up? nobody. Who cries at drop off? many of them. Then to make the mask a thing that happens when we say goodbye to mommy... I just hate it.

Yeah, I had hoped it would prevent the spread of colds, but kiddo has been sick twice this semester so it's not like it's completely preventing the spread of diseases. It almost seems like a test that I'm failing, but that's probably just my insecurity as a FTM. We don't do punishment like time outs and such. My kiddo is generally happy and agreeable and so sweet. This mask thing is like WHY is this the hill we need to die on?

11/21 - Kiddo loves sour cream dip. I asked him last night what he wanted for dinner and he said "dip" and did a hand gesture like dipping a chip. It was so cute. At daycare dropoff this morning, it sounded like he said "love you" and did an open arms gesture. Kind of like blowing a big kiss. We're still speech delayed and the only word we hear regularly is "car" so it's always a milestone when we hear other sounds.

How is weaning going? Update

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2022 http://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2022/09/how-is-weaning-going.html (previous post)

Wed, Sept 21, 2022 This is the day I hurt my back? I stopped carrying my son around and also stopped working out. This kind of sent me into a spiral of depression (understandably).

Monday, October 3, 2022 9:28 AM I received my first Fall paycheck and there is an error. I did not see SCI 100 on my appointment letter (attached) and I have not been paid for teaching it. I was paid $900. less than I was expecting this month.

Tuesday, October 4, 2022 4:06 PM I don’t think I’ll be teaching SCI 100 again. I’ve been doing it every semester since 2016 and it’s been nothing but trouble. The whole experience has lost its luster.

Wednesday, October 5, 2022 10:04 AM I was doing a bit of soul searching last night and I considered that maybe everything is tough right now because I'm weaning my son. I know that can cause some sadness as hormones rebalance. Maybe it's just that. I'm looking into it. Also trying to not make any major life decisions during this time of transition that I might regret later.

Thursday, Oct 6, 2022 started taking EZ Melts B12 as Methylcobalamin, 2,500 mcg, Sublingual Vitamins, Vegan, Zero Sugar, Natural Cherry Flavor, 90 Fast Dissolve Tablets

Friday, October 7, 2022 Visiting the Chiropractor.

Oct 11

Oct 17

Oct 21

Oct 28

Saturday, October 8, 2022 Teacher gratitude mugs delivered.

Oct 12 bought flowers.

Oct 15 assembled gratitude bouquets with candy.

Oct 16 carved pumpkins.

Tuesday, November 1, 2022, at 08:55 AM I was having a bad week when I said I didn’t want to teach SCI 100 anymore. I’m feeling better now.

Thursday, November 3, 2022, My period started just a bit of spotting.

Friday, November 4, 2022, I had an extremely heavy period. Bled through my underwear and pants even though wearing a tampon. It was on par with the blood flow after my son was born. I was so unprepared. I had thought it would be painful with cramps but it was just stealth and lots of blood. I had to go buy adult diapers and heavy flow pads. It was nuts.

Sunday, November 6, 2022 I feel dizzy getting in and out of bed. I was scared to walk downstairs because I had such bad vertigo.

Wednesday, November 9, 2022 I fell into bed literally because I was so dizzy. Turns out feeling dizzy is also a symptom of weaning. Props to DH for suggesting it. A light Google search confirms.

All this stuff is related. Guess I need to start reading https://www.amazon.com/How-Weaning-Happens-Diane-Bengson/dp/0912500549 

October 2022 thoughts

10/04 - I sat down with my boss today and told him I'd lost the joy that I once found in my job. There are some people who are resigning which creates some opportunities for lateral movement from faculty to staff. I am working too hard for too little pay with no real sick days or vacation days. I am a teeny bit sad when thinking about not teaching anymore. But also my kiddo is my primary concern now. If I can make the same income doing less work and less stressful work, why not make the switch if I can?

TLDR: now that I'm a parent, I have lost the spark I once had for my profession

10/10 - Milestone Monday - Kiddo loves stacking his wooden blocks. He makes a tower that is 10 blocks high. Then he shows me his "fist of power" before he knocks it down. He puts a cone-shaped block on top. Then lifts it up and puts another square block in the middle. Repeat. Repeat. He counts the blocks and if you ask him how many blocks there are, he will show you on his fingers. His finger counting is getting really good. Sometimes, he will head-butt the tower to knock it down. Then he needs a kiss on the forehead. I'm sure it doesn't really hurt but I don't mind giving kisses.

10/12 - Wondering Wednesday 

Me: conceived Marchling through IVF. Them: oh are you having another? I know someone who did IVF and then had two more naturally. Me: I'm 42. Them: so what? Marchling needs a sibling!

Me: kiddo is in Early Intervention for a speech delay. Them: I know someone who didn't talk until they were in preschool and they're fine now. Me: I know it isn't my fault but I feel like it is. I feel I failed as a mom.

Me: I am depressed and want to quit my job or make a major career change. Them: have you tried painting or watching standup comedy? It would be a waste of your talent to take a job that pays the same as you make now but with better benefits. Why not keep doing the job you have now because you're so good at it? You'll get bored of an easier job. Me: Don't I deserve easy?! Being a parent is hard enough.

I get so raw and vulnerable when it comes to sharing personal information and life choices. And I do feel this type of unsolicited advice is hurting my feelings. My spouse is also my coworker and he tells our colleagues everything we are going through because he is a talker. But then our colleagues come back at me with these anecdotes, which I assume they are sharing to try to be helpful. Am I being too sensitive? Sometimes I wish I could be less sensitive and just let it go. But here I am losing sleep over it while Marchling is asleep like an angel. I got 2 referrals to therapist/psychiatrist out of our insurance and the cost was like WOAH. Like annual passes to Disneyland for a family of 3. Yes that is my currency. Maybe I can treat my depression with many trips to Disneyland.

10/20 - Holy crap I can't believe this month is almost over. I feel like it was yesterday in September and I was like, "better grab a Halloween costume before they're all gone," and now it's like, "better book a hotel for Thanksgiving." We have stuff planned with the in-laws just about every other weekend from now until the end of the calendar year. Which on the one hand is good because LO hardly knows his grandparents who live just 2 hours drive away.

I'm praying this weekend goes better than our last visit with them in which they surprised LO with a slip and slide and inflatable pool but didn't tell any of us to bring swimsuits. Then LO didn't know how to do the slip and slide so I demonstrated IN MY CLOTHES and then had to sit around in my bra while my shirt was in the dryer. It was pretty hot that day, so it felt good to be soaked, but c'mon just let us know to bring a swim diaper for kiddo.

We're going apple picking, which I'm totally stoked about. I have a recipe for Hogwarts Pumpkin Juice (which is apple cider with pumpkin puree and spices in it). I made a costume for our cargo bicycle which I plan to debut on Sunday at a bike event. I got LO a bullhorn with a siren. He's really into rescue vehicles (ambulance, fire truck, police car, etc) and I know he's going to go crazy over the siren. I read the Amazon review which said it's really loud but I am hoping it will work OK for an outdoor cycling event. I may regret this deeply.

10/21 - Walking around with an empty stroller really throws people off. It shows how uncommon it is to do daycare dropoff without a car. If it were more common, I would not have to answer the question "where's the baby?" on a daily basis. I wish all our cities were more pedestrianized so that we wouldn't have to go to special places to walk safely. 2 weeks til daylight savings and while I appreciate the cooler temps, I miss the long days.

simple joys

This life contains simple joys. A comfy shirt. An ample couch. A tasty meal. I feel the Thanksgiving season approaches and I want to remember the abundance and live gratefully. 

We used out Disneyland magic key pass a few times so far. I had planned to go once again in September but I hurt my back and opted to wait until the heat wave passes. But I have gotten a lot of use out of my XXL spirit jersey. I got one for DH in acid wash blue and one in peach rose gold.

We got a Sactional couch. The 4 seats / 5 sides Corded Velvet Sactional Storage Bundle from Costco. It came with a Lovesac Citysac and Squattoman with Cover, two Footsacs, four Throw Pillows (two small, two large) and two cupholders and a table. I love it sooooooooooooooo much. The blankets and pillows and cupholders are everything. We've already changed the configuration from what is in this picture but it suits us so well.

These cold days I love making hot tea in my Ceres Chill and it stays SO HOT I have to mix it with water to get it to a perfect drinking temperature. I also love how it keeps cold stuff cold in the summer. I've taken it to the beach, on a bike ride, and used it during my son's 2nd bday party. The flip top lid with sipper and straw is so great and I appreciate the leash to give it a handle. I love the rose gold color.

I'm so grateful that I was able to even take time off to stay at home with my baby. I had Spring 2020 to recover from the pregnancy and delivery and I had the summer to enjoy being in the nest with my little baby bird. When I returned to work, I was paid for 13 units but I think I only taught 10. This is the "reduced workload" that is a benefit from my employer. I also had a light load in Spring 2021 but mind you, we were still managing without daycare and having no help from family or a babysitter.

By Fall 2021 we couldn't handle Albert alone without help. I found a nearby daycare (Little Treehouse Academy) and we enrolled him starting November 1st. The lectures were taught fully online that semester. It was in Spring 2022 where we had the first 3 weeks virtual and then in-person thereafter. I still love my LuLaRoe wardrobe, it's silly and it was just the perfect thing to accommodate my mombod. Now that my regular pants and shirts fit, I feel like it's time to wear regular clothes again. But I'm grateful for that solution to my problem of none of my shirts buttoning.

Aug 2020

One of my biggest fears or hurdles about returning to work was that my former professional wardrobe just didn't fit at all and it was almost comical how bad it was. The above photo was taken 5 months postpartum. Only now do I feel like I want to wear normal clothes again. That's 2 years, 8 months people. So if you're considering buying nursing clothes or some interim wardrobe, go ahead. You'll be wearing it for quite a while. I still wear maternity shirts even though I've given all my maternity pants away.

I'm grateful for my walk-in closet. I'm grateful for hangers. I'm grateful that I can go in there and touch and feel everything and pick out something crazy to wear that suits my mood. I'm grateful that I haven't lost my job for wearing all this ridiculous stuff. I'm grateful that I can get dressed in the dark because my closet is organized in such a way that I can navigate by touch.

I guess I can get away with my crazy outfits in the grand tradition of Mrs. Frizzle of the Magic Schoolbus. But I'm sure there are some who look at my outfit choices with raised eyebrows. I keep waiting for students to write about it on the teaching evaluations but so far nobody has said anything. I think we're all in the "post-covid nothing fits and I'm used to teaching and learning from my bedroom" mood. My schedule next semester (Spring 2023) is all labs and I do my best to NOT wear LuLaRoe in the lab. It's just not going to withstand a chemical spill or heat.

Aug 2020 (Fall 2020)

My old lab shirts just seemed like my boobs wouldn't be contained by them. I also felt self-conscious about my mom tummy, which I sadly tried to get rid of for months and months and then around 13 months postpartum I just gave up or gave in. Now when I see my son nursing, he loves my belly and it's his safe place and his pillow so maybe it's a good thing. I'm grateful for my mom tummy.

Dec 2021 (Spring 2022)

When I was first learning about LuLaRoe shirts, it was because I had bought a lot of $200 which had about 100 pieces. Leggings of all plus sizes and a few children's. Tops of all styles and sizes. Spring 2022 is when we started back fully in-person (with a 3 week delay). Fall 2021 was still online. Spring 2021 I taught one section of CHEM 321L in-person. Fall 2021 I did teach two sections of CHEM 101 Lab in person. Both of these classes had A and B groups to split the class in half to maintain social distancing. Spring 2022 I taught 4 sections of CHEM 333L in person. There were 18 students per section and the requirement for social distancing was no longer.

April 2022 (Spring 2022)

I have been doing "styling" of my LuLaRoe shirts now in Fall 2022 which is why I think I'm ready for a regular wardrobe. I've been using a hair tie to gather the baggy shirt either on both sides (for the perfect T), or just in the back, or in the front and back.

May 2022

Then I found the Latched Mama boyfriend nursing T. I bought two of them used from Poshmark for $20 each around Easter time but they got lost in shipping. Luckily they arrived just after Mother's Day. I love them so much I ended up buying two more for $25 each new in size 2X. They're a little big so I end up tying them up in the summer. Especially if it's a hot day.

I love how easy it is to untie and nurse or take the sleeves down for a formal photo. For winter, like it is now, I love the Crewneck Nursing Pullover. I got one from Poshmark used for $40 and I love it so much. It's the definition of cozy and functional. I love how Latched Mama's company motto is "play clothes for nursing moms." I love anything that normalizes and celebrates this stage. I just found a BST facebook group for Latched Mama clothing.

I got two pullovers for $25 each while they are $53 each new. The size is 2X/3X. I also bought a fifth boyfriend nursing T in size XL because it's the first thing I reach for when I'm in the closet. New prints are $36 and solid color is $38.

I also bought a bundle of 3 Kindred Bravely nursing bras. The Motherhood maternity ones finally gave up the ghost. They were $120 for a pack of 3. Not the most sexy color or style but what I need is support and function. The clip down bras are good, the only thing I don't like about them are the pads. They move around a lot when you wash them. There's a Kindred Bravely BST because of course there is, but for me I would prefer to buy bras new because they do wear out.

Is it American to think of spending money on yourself as self-care or is it something important to do to be a part of society, live up to society's standards, and also just to function in the world? I can say that I feel gratitude that I can spend money on things that make my life more comfortable. I am grateful that I have been able to dress my postpartum body how I want and how I need to get through the days and nights. I'm so thankful for my husband and son and how they bring HEAPS AND HEAPS of joy into my life.

Halloween fears

Halloween is a great time to expose our fears. I have so much fear. I worry that I'll never get these days, weeks, months and years back. I worry that by putting my child in daycare, I'm just bowing to the almighty dollar and the patriarchal society that demands women return to work if they are serious about their job. I worry any time my child is out of my sight. I worry that I am breastfeeding too long, but if we wean, will I have breastfed too short? I worry that I'm spoiling my child by taking him to all the things like Disneyland and Legoland and Ikea and overstimulating him, but I'm also worried that if we only stay at home that he will be under-stimulated and never learn words. I worry that by giving him everything, I'm creating what will become a discontent adult. I worry that I'm not modeling enough of a great loving relationship with my husband. I worry about getting my kid vaccinated, I don't let him rest enough, I don't feed him enough, he's growing too slow, he's growing too fast, he's getting sick too much, he's constantly sick, he's addicted to Tylenol, he's not sick enough, his immune system isn't developing. The myriad fears associated with parenting are so vast.

Our son's therapist last night said, "I'm glad you don't decorate with a bunch of spooky stuff for Halloween." I guess I have enough fear inside my head that I don't need it to be outward. I did want to do some holiday stuff like carve a pumpkin, pick apples in an orchard, make pumpkin juice, roast pumpkin seeds. But I didn't have a desire for spider webs, ghosts, scarecrows, haunted houses and stuff like that.

September 2022 Thoughts

9/1 - I'm back at work after having the summer off. My LO is in daycare. I kept him home Monday and Wednesday because I only teach Tues/Thurs/Fri. He has a kind of runny nose and slight cough but it doesn't seem like it's contagious. My husband is supposed to stay home with LO on Tues/Thurs/Fri but he was unwilling to do so on Tuesday. Today DH is out sick at home and LO is in daycare. So far I feel fine. I think maybe I'm just too stressed out to get sick right now. I had a bad migraine over the weekend, which I think was from stress.

It's a lot to get kiddo back in daycare. I had to remember so many things. The forms, the emergency kit, the shoes, the medications, the photos, etc. DH was just not involved in getting anything ready for our return to daycare. I can manage all of this. But I also want to get a massage. I have been internalizing this stress and I can feel it in my back. Also, I haven't been working out as much so I feel my posture going downhill.

We kept the kid out of swim lessons on Tuesday just in case of loose stool, which the daycare said he had on Tuesday. It's hard because when the kid is home with me he wants to lay around and breastfeed all day, which may have generated the loose stool. The day after he went to daycare, on Wednesday, his poops were solid. Today, he is meeting with a child psychologist as part of addressing his speech delay. It will be our second visit. I'm praying that this additional intervention can help us get kiddo caught up with his peers. He's about a year behind.

We're in a heat wave now, so it's cabin fever for everyone. The temp is supposed to be 112 deg F or something like that. It's hard to have a (possibly) sick kid and (possibly) sick husband and we can't leave the house. And we don't know if anyone has the same thing. I know the kids can't go outside at daycare if the outdoor temp is above 92 deg F so I do have some sympathy for the daycare teachers with 12 screaming two-year olds in a smallish room. I hope their sanity is holding up.

9/4 - John Lasseter movie marathon. Ice Age, Frozen, Zootopia, Princess and the Frog, Tangled... I think we will do Ratatouille and Brave next. New CARS movie comes out Sept 8th on Disney+ day. LO is a big fan of the Cars movies but not Planes.

Its in the triple digits here so we can't go out. DH is sick so we are quarantining just as a precaution. We are going to Disneyland next week to use the last day of our SoCal resident 3-day summer pass. That's why I am stuck on Disney and Pixar. LO is enjoying watching with me. It's fun to see what parts he laughs at.

I was raised on Disney movies but haven't seen all the ones that were released when I was in college and early career without kids. So from 1998 until now I guess. It's fun catching up. Any suggestions for what to watch tomorrow?

9/5 - I am so sick of my husband being sick. When will he ever be well again? I feel like we keep ending up at urgent care over and over. Why can't he take better care of himself? When he's sick then I have to take care of everything around the house. With school starting and LO going back to daycare, I'm taking out the long shirts and pants that are size 3T. I am sewing LO's name into his clothes. I asked DH to give me a break by taking kiddo into the shower and instead DH let LO play trains for an hour. That's fine. It's too hot to go outside anyway. But I have been solely responsible for getting the kid back to school and I want my partner to do his share of parenting duties.

I stayed home with kiddo last week on the days I could. DH had a fever on Friday but he doesn't now. He says his head still hurts but it's like come on dude. LO is actually running a slight fever. You're not. I asked you to bathe him. Instead DH took a nice long shower by himself and kiddo sat on my lap. DH is constantly taking the easy road and I am tired of carrying on with the hard work.

I am worried that LO has HFM or something like that. I thought it was his 2 year molars but now he has what looks like a cold sore above his upper lip. I don't see any blisters on his hands and feet and he had a upper respiratory thing the week before school started with a runny nose and now he has a kind of wet cough. Like I said, we'll probably be visiting urgent care this week. I hate how DH makes me out to be the bad guy when I ask for help. I am just about out of ideas and patience.

A bit of light googling tells me use a humidifier, push fluids and rest. But I feel like this is week 3 of trying that. DH has been sick for like a month. Okay maybe 2 weeks. He has Type 2 diabetes now and I just read that he should check his blood sugar every 4 hours if he is sick because illness and infection aggravates the diabetes. I am really at my wits end. The man loves junk food. I can't be his mother. He has to care enough to monitor himself and eat healthy.

Sorry for the rant. I am just suffering over here mentally and I worry that what DH had (fever, vomiting, headache) is coming my way (and LO's too), but when I get it, I won't be able to lay around doing nothing for 4 days. I have a job and a tiny human that do not accept my resignation.

9/9 - I thought this group would appreciate... I was hoping that kiddo would never have to wear a mask. I thought, surely by the time he is two years old we will have solved the pandemic and he will never need to be bothered. Fast-forward to now. I have an appointment next Wednesday for LO to get vaccinated. His first dose. Last time we had an appointment they asked us to leave because the doses never arrived so I'm praying that everything goes well this time. Also, kiddo has to be wearing a mask to enter his classroom every day for daycare. Today was a 10 minute struggle and finally his teacher came out and helped. Kiddo just wouldn't put it on for me. I just wanted to say if your kid doesn't have to wear a mask every day, consider yourself lucky. I know our school plans to continue masking until the end of the fall semester at least (Dec 2022). I just never planned on mask-training my kid. He got this ugly cold-sore type thing on his face, which we all think was due to him chewing the mask and it rubbing on his skin. It went away over the Labor day long weekend. Ugh. TGIF

9/15 - Yesterday was V-Day for my Marchling. Yes it was fitting that it was on his half-birthday. He was exactly 2.5 years old. He got the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine first dose. We will go back in 4 weeks for the second dose. I almost cried when I saw his name on the white COVID-19 vaccine card. We waited so long for this day. He did have a massive poo in the evening about 10 hours after getting the shot, but I'm not sure if it is directly related. No fever. I just love seeing how he faces scary experiences like this so bravely. I'm proud of my little buddy.

9/18 - Ran MUD GIRL. It was fun. It was stressful. It was a group effort. My hands hurt afterwards. Kind of like how you feel after packing up all your stuff and moving into a new house after 4 days of hauling boxes. If I were to do it again, I would wear capri-length leggings (not shorts). I would still wear a hat or visor. I wore contacts and sun glasses, which I would do again. I would definitely wear all the sunscreen. I would arrive early, in which case you could run the course twice. I have no idea how trail runners prevent rock from getting into their shoes, maybe tall socks? That hurt. I also would have worn gloves. My hands got a little (lot) scratched up.

9/19 - Forgot to order Fitlicious. Ended up going back to Mashup Mom. It was delicious and a good change of pace. However, it was a lot of work (>10 hours) cooking everything. It took up all my time on my days off (Monday, Wednesday).

I got a free bookshelf from Buy Nothing and attended Fit4Mom at the Vineyards.

9/21 - Kiddo is tripping ALL over his feet these days. Knees are all bruises and scabs. Face is all black and blue. Our daycare said he looks like a Cobra Kai. 🐍 He already has huge feet and is outgrowing his 3T pajamas. He is so hungry and sleeping a lot so I am guessing he's in a growth spurt. But I'm not ready for my baby to get any bigger 😭. I have a huge pile of long pants and long sleeves in 3T to sew nametags in 🧺✂️ 🪡 🧵. I am ready for fall. The cooler weather is giving me life.

I moved a bookshelf from the garage to the upstairs and populated it with books. I attended Fit4Mom at Mason Park and I was the only one there. I had a good chat with the instructor, Jessica and we talked about the podcast https://www.maintenancephase.com/ 

9/24 - Went to the Fall Family Event at Warner Center Park but didn't do the workout. My back was really hurting. Not sure exactly how I injured it. The pain got worse on Sunday. It hurt to sit, lay, stand, walk, everything.

9/26 - Bubs is really into mannequins. He likes to go through family roles like mama, dada, baby, grandma, grandpa, etc. He gets concerned when mannequins don't have heads, feet, arms or hands.

He likes comparing body parts too. Mommy's feet, daddy's feet, Albert's feet. He tickles our feet. He is a giggle monster. He doesn't like it when his pants are too short. He is growing so fast.

People keep asking how much he weighs now and I have no idea.

I canceled our Disneyland reservation because my back was still hurting AND we are in another excessive heat warning (triple digits) and it was just too hot to enjoy the visit. I bought some fall flowers to cheer myself up. I figure if I would have spent $35 to park at Disneyland, I can spend $22 on flowers for my own yard. I got Marigolds (yellow and orange), Mums (yellow and orange), Zinnia (orange) and Celosia (yellow) to give that thanksgiving vibe.

9/29 - Every time all my online purchases arrive, I think, okay now I have everything. I'm not going to buy anything else. But of course something comes up and I make another purchase.

Our cargo bike got stolen out of our garage last month. We bought another bike almost right away, but I also had to replace my helmet AND the shade canopy AND the bell AND the flag AND the little snack bag AND the phone holder. And I'm still discovering things that were in the cargo bike when it was stolen that I'm having to replace. Like the tool bag of all my favorite tools and my favorite portable air pump. I'm trying to be cool and positive about it. But it's been a lot of work getting all that stuff replaced.

Also on the day I bought the replacement bike, I took it out for a test ride. I got a flat tire due to a thorn. So I had to replace the tire and then take it to a bike shop to get the brakes adjusted. They also took a look at one of the disc brakes and bent it back into place. I bought some lube so I can just get all the spinning parts lubed up and then I think we'll be good to go. But I'm sure I'll think of something else it needs. I was able to find pads for the 3-point harness at the most recent consignment sale.

If you are cargo-bike curious or just into women cycling with their family, the movie MOTHERLOAD is really cute. I also read an article about a mom on a cargo bike who competed in the Disaster Relief Trials, and I do believe that a bicycle will be a great resource in the event of mayhem or natural disaster. I'm not a full-time doomsday prepper, but I am prepping adjacent.

October 5th is California Clean Air Day. October 9th is CicLAvia, a day where the city of Los Angeles closes some streets so that pedestrians and cyclists can have a stress-free day to play in the road. These are my deadlines for having the new bike ready for LO and myself.

I bought a set of tiles, which pair with my phone and Alexa and can help me find stuff if it is lost. For example keys. But I also wonder what would have happened if I had one of those in my bike or bike bag. Could I have found my lost/stolen bike? Also, if I had registered my bicycle with the campus PD, would that have made any difference?

Also I almost lost my keys this morning. Also I lost my wallet one time during the summer. Mombrain is so challenging. Also the tiles cost $99 for a set of 4 and I'm already wondering if I should have 8 or if I should just stop losing my shit. My back is 95% good, but it is not 100% better.

How is weaning going?

How is weaning going? It sucks, but maybe not as bad as I thought it would. I had nervousness about anxiety since breastfeeding for me is very calming, but it has not been a problem so far. We are in week 3 of school. I thought I might be getting a clog but its a combination of not taking my vitamins and my body adjusting. 

I do feel like my period will come back. I get odd cramps and the feeling that a period is going to flow. But it doesn't come. Then I get a kind of PMS and constipation vibe. So I think the cycle is rebooting.

Kiddo does want to nurse sometimes but then other times he is fine playing or watching his shows. Sometimes he wants to nurse and I encourage him to do other things. I haven't set clear boundaries and rules and I still nurse on demand but I do feel like I can postpone or ask kiddo to wait if it's not a good time for me.

So far I have not pumped at work at all. I have thought about it but I haven't actually done it.

August 2022 Thoughts

 8/16 - Haha I swore that I would get my mom chop when COVID was over. I guess it's over cause I got a haircut to the collarbone. But I think we are still masking at work and daycare for the fall semester so I am definitely joking. Albert isn't vaccinated yet. I was all excited to do it, we had an appointment with the pediatrician, we were on time and masked. After waiting 30 minutes, we were dismissed because the doses had not arrived. They said "don't call us, we'll call you." So we're back to waiting. But I just couldn't wait any longer to cut my hair. It was ridiculously heavy. Kiddo got his 2nd professional haircut. #2 everywhere and he looks bald. I'll send him with his dad next time.

8/19 = Okay had our daycare orientation today via zoom. They want us to send 3 masks per day. Every day. So I'm on Amazon putting masks in our cart and DH asks me why I'm scrolling looking at masks for 20 minutes. I'm sorry, are these masks going to appear out of nowhere? No hun, all the things in our life are carefully researched, purchased, procured and delivered by me. DH has a sick day from work today so he is seeing the SAHM life up close. I'm sad to go back to work. I worry that I will be miserable. I am afraid of my separation anxiety and hormone changes from weaning. Let me fixate on buying 240 masks for a minute (or 20) if I want to.

I guess it was a busy month because that's all she wrote! I am so happy with my summer wardrobe, I'm actually sorry to have to go back to wearing my work clothes. And our cargo bike got stolen out of our garage. But we got another one.

Our Big Family Vacation

 

We got a visit to Disneyland and Disney California Adventure in before school starts. Despite the issues with the Magic Key pass, we were able to get reservations on the days we wanted. The magical duo was great and the Genie+ was powerful and it was all over so suddenly!

We went down to Anaheim the day before our reservations at the park. We stayed at our "old faithful" La Quinta Inn & Suites. The room was $107 which is much cheaper than other hotels in the area. The joke was on us a bit when we realized the beds and the couch were very uncomfortable, the breakfast area was super crowded and the air conditioner was dripping a huge puddle of water all night. But we didn't let that stop us from having a great time.

PACKING LIST

Insulated Coolers

😇watermelon
😇strawberries
😙cottage cheese
😄peas
corn

grapes
🥰cucumber
🥰bell pepper
🥰plastic silverware incl knife
🥰reusable straw
🥰string cheese

BOB stroller

😄long-sleeved shirts

😄Glow sticks
😄Spray sunscreen
😄Water misting fan

😄40 oz Hydroflask

😄34 oz Ceres Chill

😄12 oz Toddler Tumbler

😄baby carrier

😄bubble fidget toy

😄Minnie ears

😄glasses lens cleaning cloth

Diaper change kit

🎃two diapers
🎃wipes
🎃poop bags

Pink backpack

😃hand sanitizing wipes

😀three fruit pouches
😄toy car
😃three hats
😃six masks
😄change of clothes
😄five diapers
apple
banana

clementines
granola bar

protein bar
😄goldfish crackers
😄cheerios
parm crisps
😉pretzels
😄Body glide
😃flour sack towel

binder clips
😀battery + cable
😂three pairs Goodr sunglasses

Mom & Dad

🩲underwear
🧦socks
😁walking shoes
🙄flip flops
😆yoga shorts
👖PJ pants and top
👚day tops
😜bras
😉toiletry bag
😃headphones
🤔swimsuit
🌍Tylenol/vitamins/medications/first aid
😛charging cable for versa 3

😄Roku  

Eye mask / Earplugs / Anti-snoring device

Albie

😁short outfits (3)
😁long pants (2)
😁pjs (2)
😁socks (4)

walking shoes (2)
🙄swimsuit / water shoes / swim diaper
😂wetbag for dirty laundry

Turns out the pool and jacuzzi at the hotel were under renovation, so we didn't get to use our swimsuits at all. Parking was $20 per day and we were able to leave the car there even after checkout time. We got early check-in which was great since we arrived 1.5 hours before 3pm.

The recharging station on the bedside table was great. It charged my phone and smartwatch very fast. I ended up using the glow sticks as a nightlight and it was genius.

We did bring a cooling fan and extra batteries. But unfortunately, the mist feature of the fan stopped working. It still worked as a fan though. We brought a few things for kiddo to play with in the room including a small car collection, some beads for stringing and some pom poms (that he didn't even need).

I didn't detail what was in the toiletry bag but here it was: toothbrush and toothpaste (kid and adult), dishsoap, shampoo & conditioner & hair gel and a comb, baby body wash, dental floss. Also deodorant, face wash, face lotion and vitamins.

We had a small pharmacy with us as well which included omeprazole, acetaminophen, DayQuil and NyQuil, immodium, cough drops, tweezers, baby tylenol, baby ibuprofen, booger drops, a snot sucker, alcohol wipes, liquid bandage, ear drops and chapstick.

The desk was a good height to use as a diaper changing station. I used two flour sack towels as a base and then put the diaper changing pad over the top. Pictured here is a "busy bag" that had also stickers and magnatiles (which we didn't use).

Nonperishable snacks were somewhat useful. But we did end up eating lots of sweet and salty things in the parks so we mostly ate these on the night before going in. Our favorite turned out to be Grandma's Peanut Butter Sandwich Creme Cookies. There were 12 in the package, great for sharing and paired well with decaf coffee.

I brought two juice boxes and six milks. I thought we would use the milk for coffee creamer, which is why I packed so many. Also my kid's pediatrician told us we need to offer him milk in a 6 oz serving three times per day, which is insane but this is how I do it.

I ended up putting those in the fridge so they could help keep other stuff cold in the coolers we took into the park. Our fridge in the room was so cold it actually froze most everything, which was good for some things but not good for the strawberries. My son won't eat them if they have turned mushy.

We have used these food portioning containers so much. It's the right size for bringing the chopped fresh or canned veggies and fruits. The larger containers take up more room in the cooler and they're all different sizes so you can't stack them. If all the containers are the same size, it's easier. We also like these reusable sandwich bags which I used to pack a bell pepper I didn't have time to cut up.

To get into our day at Disneyland, the Tom Sawyer / Pirate's Lair island was by far our favorite thing. The other stuff was all great and we eliminated waiting in lines using Genie+. We also got the epic family photo I wanted using PhotoPass and I'm super happy with how that all worked.

For our day at California Adventure, the Redwood Creek Challenge Trail was by far Albert's favorite thing. He got to run everywhere and even met Chip & Dale. For us adults, we ducked inside the Grand Californian hotel looking for a gift shop and ended up taking a very refreshing nap there on the couches in the lobby. There was a live pianist and a fireplace and it was just so perfect.

We did get to the Disney Junior Dance Party, which I missed on our last visit to DCA. We ended the day at Cars land, but we didn't stay until sunset to see the neon lights come on. So there's some magic that we can save for our next visit. We walked 7 miles per day for 3 days in a row and it was tiring and wonderful.

We did have one magic key pass, which allows you to get Genie+ for only $16 per day. The magic key pass was $399 for one person and since Albert is under 3 years old, he doesn't have to pay. Mike got in on a California Resident 3-day pass, which was $249. We can go another day since Mike didn't use his 3rd day. We asked at guest services what we can do if Mike wanted to upgrade his 3-day pass to a Magic Key pass, but it wasn't possible at this time. 

Mike had to pay $20 for his Genie+ pass, per day. If we rode separately using parent swap, we could have done this without two people having Genie+. If I had known that so many rides at DCA were not child-appropriate, and that the lightning lanes are for rides that have a height limit above Albert's height, I wouldn't have got Genie+ for DCA. But it was 100% worth it for Disneyland. I love our castle photo and I love the McQueen photo from DCA. Not wild about the Hollywoodland photo, but that's Okay. 

Genie+ allows unlimited downloads of your PhotoPass pictures from the Disneyland app. I had no trouble doing this and now we have a great picture to send to daycare with Albert of all three of us. If you don't have Genie+ then it costs $14.99 to download one photo. So even though we got only 1 great photo, we got 13 pretty good ones and I downloaded all of them.

We definitely spent less than $100 per day on food in the parks. I had a breakdown and spent $75 on Cars for Albert. Some of them are hidden so that we can use them as gifts or bribes for later on. I know we could have bought more stuff, but I'm happy with how we spent the money we spent. We weren't able to get reservations at the Magic Key terrace and I didn't get the popcorn bucket. I mean honestly it's kind of just plastic junk that would clutter up our house.

I don't know if we'll renew our magic key. Some part of me loves the nostalgia of childhood innocence. But another part of me sees Disney as a MAGA in disguise which reinforces stereotypes and allows white people to profit from cultural appropriation. And I can't shake the "happy ending" of every princess ending up married. Isn't that misogynistic and heteronormative? Hell yes I'm woke and PC. I'm just not 100% okay with letting my son see the world that way. Even though Daisy Duck is feisty.

July 2022 Thoughts

7/4 - We're leaving in two days for a two week trip. Staying with my parents. I'm 90% done packing. Pretty sure I broke my pinky toe five days ago and I'm not sure what footwear to pack for myself since all footwear and walking hurts! Yo it is gonna be tough chasing the Marchling when I can't run. But I am looking forward to kiddo seeing his cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. We live 1500 miles away and visit once per year.

~~ Meanwhile in Nebraska, we survived COVID ~~

7/20 - I can microblog. I would never have time to write a monthly recap in one sitting. Nor would I be clear headed enough to compose such a thing. But a quick update here and there is some thing I can do. Then I string together all the short posts and BAM -- I can remember the highs and lows of my month.

Anyhow, I wanted to share some wonderful complaints that my mom had from our 2 week stay at her house. She asked if Marchling has a tantrum every diaper and clothing change. And the answer is yes. She says none of her kids did that. I highly doubt that but okay whatever. She also complained about the cartoons. The sound annoyed her. Which is kinda funny. I had it mostly on my phone with the volume way down. I wonder if she was just judging the amount of screen time. Yes, we didn't get a lot of screen time as kids. But smartphones didn't exist in the 1980s so yeah. We didn't know what we were missing. And the last zinger she managed to get in there was that kiddo didn't bond with her, which was the whole reason she insisted we stay at her house. I offered to get a hotel but she threatened to not see us if we did that. She demanded that we stay with her. Okay. She spent about 15 minutes doing play doh with him. He cried 3x in that span of time because 1) she made him wait. 2) she told him he was doing it wrong. 3) he made a mess. It was such a struggle. My kid doesn't eat off plates because he loves to dump the whole plate. My mom kept putting his food on a plate and he kept dumping it. Then she would get frustrated and he was scared of her. It was so triggering for me because I spent my entire childhood walking on eggshells and trying to be a "good daughter" and maybe I need therapy now...

7/21 - Kiddo starts speech therapy tomorrow. Filled out all the forms and it was a lot. I am hopeful that his words will come. I am grateful that we get professional help.

I'm back at the helm of the ship after staying with my parents for 2 weeks without a car. It's challenging to get our social calendar populated again after getting out of our groove. I feel like a cruise director. We have exactly 31 days left to fill. I had paused our memberships and now I have to restart everything. Swim lessons, gymnastics, and mommy & me fitness, art and sensory playgroup! I had added everything gradually and it was just starting to not feel overwhelming. Then halt! And restart. But anything is better than the two of us sitting at home watching TV all day and annoying each other.

THINGS TO TRY: Avoid giving choices. Avoid questions that can be answered by no. Use routines. Talk and work fast so child will be doing what is wanted before she or he has time to think and rebel. Anticipate difficult times or situations and avoid if possible; do not expect your child to wait for things or to share easily.

TLDR: Distract them or change the scene.

7/22 - Tw: COVID . We spent 2 weeks with my parents and got COVID on day 4. So the rest of the trip we had to quarantine. It was awful. I've been home for 40 hours and I'm still processing it.

My parents didn't take us to get tested. We had no thermometer. Luckily I had brought enough Tylenol for kiddo and myself. I can't believe COVID stole our vacation, but I can because COVID is a bitch like that. I kind of wish we had been tested because maybe we could have got antivirals. My mom didn't want me getting tested for COVID because she thought it would just be a statistic or a badge of accomplishment, "I got covid."

I know it was COVID because I took a rapid test yesterday after a night sleeping in my own bed. The rapid test was positive. The uncertainty of not knowing for sure if it was COVID and not knowing how high our fevers got at my parents' house was terrible. But we survived it. I pray that my husband doesn't get it. I mentioned to him that he should stay away from us and he said, "oh Yeah I forgot you were sick," and that hurt. I took care of us even though we were really sick and away from the comforts of our own home. He didn't even remember!

I was this close to getting kiddo vaccinated before we left but I didn't want him dealing with symptoms from the vaccine while we were traveling and I didn't want him to miss his second dose if for any reason our trip was extended. I will still get him vaccinated before school starts in the fall.

I read that if you have been immunized AND infected, you have the highest protection. Also the recent variant isn't blocked by the vaccine but the vaccine protects against other variants so it's still important to get vaccinated. I apologize if the terminology I'm using isn't perfect. I'm not a disease expert. Just a mom trying to make good decisions for the health of my family.

Thanks for reading. Sorry I just needed to write about it. Because it happened and it mattered and we paid $1225 for the 2 plane tickets because fuel is really expensive right now and kiddo is no longer a lap child. And hubs didn't get to go with us because there's a helium shortage due to the Ukraine-Russia conflict now on it's 150th day.

And while I was gone, my husband was attacked by his mom and sister for his political views. Like they saw an opportunity to get him 4-on-1 without me there and started ranting about the stolen election. And the Jan 6th hearings are still dragging on. It's just such a weird time to be living in. I don't know how I'll describe it to kiddo when he gets older and asks why we didn't see his grandparents more often.

TLDR: covid ruined our vacation

7/25 - I'm back at the helm of "scheduling all the things." I made a to do list that started with the item "make a to do list," then crossed it off LOL.

But seriously it is really hard getting everything restarted after 2 weeks of vacation. Kiddo is taking a nap alone today which is a rare event. We had paused our memberships and playdates and now I'm populating the calendar again. It is good but also stressful. I had added stuff one by one over the course of 6 weeks. That was easier than jumping back in to everything in the span of 1 week.

There's a lot to remember just to get to swim lessons successfully. Then add in snacks, meals, clothes, diapers, sunscreen, toys... dang no wonder it seems my brain is always saturated. I tried Whole Foods grocery pickup from my Alexa shopping list. It's always rough the first time right? I accidentally ordered double oatmeal and double coconut oil. Not sure if curbside is a time-saver. Maybe I'll try Amazon Fresh or Wal-Mart next time.

Any eMeals fans here? Found out hubs has diabetes so I'm also on a learning curve there. Phew. Trying the 1/2 veggies, 1/4 protein, 1/4 starch plate method as an entry-level intervention.

June 2022 Thoughts

6/4 - Regarding stepstools... We have a Bright Starts one but it has been discontinued so I can't find a link to it. My only complaints are that it is too low for kiddo to wash his hands in the bathroom sink AND when I used it, it collapsed so I'm sure the weight limit is more appropriate for a toddler. 

We also have a taller IKEA bekvam but it is unfinished wood so I don't use it in the bathroom or kitchen. I bought it for reaching books in our library because I'm not very tall.

6/5 - Kiddo is so aware now. Tried to do a 7pm bedtime and he said "it's not night" and "it's not dark." So I put back up the blackout curtains that I had taken down and problem solved! I was enjoying a thin curtain that let in diffuse natural light. I prefer to wake with the sunrise rather than the alarm clock. But if it is disruptive to bedtime now that the days are getting longer, I'm willing to give them up. 

I'm living the SAHM life now for the entire summer. Trying to maintain roughly the daycare schedule so it won't be a hard transition back in late August. We have lots of stuff we could go out and do, but we have been sick for a bit so staying at home until we all feel better.

Got kiddo assessed for speech therapy. California offers it free under age 3. Supposed to hear back within 4 weeks. Felt really grateful that I am a scientist and I record audio and video "interviews" of kiddo with filenames that correspond to the date of the recording. Had to send those to the caseworkers, who said they were very helpful. Feels sad to admit we are delayed, but they also said he's not *too* far behind. So I'm hoping he can catch up before he rejoins daycare.

The Speech Therapy was on the recommendation of his daycare. He is behind his classmates. I know it sounds crazy but he doesn't talk often. That moment had me in awe. Seems he can be persuasive if he really wants to. But generally he communicates in grunts, screams and gestures.

6/8 - I have been sick and my employer refused to administer a COVID test. The campus health center said they needed me to do a telehealth screening first. It's like COVID is over but it isn't. They used to have a free kiosk open 11am-7pm, 7 days per week. Now it's only open 2 days per week and you must have a notification about an exposure from someone else who tested positive. They won't test vaccinated people who are sick. I am so angry. I ordered the free tests through the postal service but they haven't arrived yet. The campus referred me to off campus free testing locations but I just didn't have the bandwidth to figure them out. 

6/13 - Milestone Monday. We did our first 5k. Kiddo is doing gymnastics and swim classes. I looked for library story time but alas due to COVID, there are still none in person. I'm so proud of how much he is growing in terms of his interpersonal skills. Sharing, taking turns, participating in group activities... so much growth. Also he got his first haircut in a salon and he looks like a jarhead.

6/14 - know it's a small thing but I'm mildly annoyed that McDonald's Play Spaces are still closed due to COVID. It's a little thing I was looking forward to because I remember trips to McDonald's being a big deal when I was a kid. I know the virus is still out there. I know my kid isn't vaccinated. But there are so many things we can do now. It's the incongruity and shifting rules of it all that are so unsettling. I am speaking as a mom of a kid who didn't nap today and is a very picky eater and he already yanked out a chunk of my hair and I'm just at my wits' end. And Happy Meals are one thing he does eat and I would like to spend an hour here playing in the air conditioning while we wait for his gymnastics class. It's in the 90s F here and playing outside is just not gonna happen without water. Also we lost the key to our community pool.

6/19 - Self-Care Sunday - Deleted or unfollowed baby, breastfeeding groups, postpartum bounce back fitness, and companies pushing products I don't want or need. One maternal mental health podcast I listened to mentioned limiting scrolling to 2 x 20 minute sessions per day and I was definitely doing way more. Similarly when I get a chance I'm gonna hit that unsubscribe button on a bunch of emails in my inbox.

6/22 - WTF Wednesday. When DH says things like: do you want to go to bed or do you want to keep cleaning? Dude I want to go to bed. I am exhausted. But if I don't constantly tidy up, we will be buried under a mountain of garbage and toys. How about helping?

Also, it was randomly picture day at LO's gym class. We came straight from the beach and I was looking rough. A two-day old French braid and some serious sunblock face. Can't wait to see those pics. Why couldn't they let us know in advance?

6/27 - Milestone Monday - Kiddo is all about doing dramatic falls. Like walking halfway across the balance beam and then falling dramatically on purpose. Today he was pretending that he hit his head when he clearly did not.

Found out yesterday that DH is diabetic. I know nothing about how to deal with this. I do feel grateful to know the cause of DH's low energy. I am hopeful that this revelation will have positive effects on DH's willingness to participate in diet and exercise that I've been doing to keep up with a busy toddler. I feel now I have so much to learn about this disease.

6/29 - Wondering Wednesday - How often do you do laundry each week and how many people are in your family? We do laundry every other day. We have 2 adults + 1 toddler. With the adults exercising and kiddo loving water play, that seems like the way it goes. DH puts it in the wash when he leaves for work. Our laundry is in the detached garage. Then I put it in the dryer when I wake up, make coffee and breakfast for me and LO.