complacent

I'm giving myself free reign today.  It's a holiday.  Technically.  So I will begin working after my #madwriting session.  I was thinking of a title for my post.  Something short that would summarize my general state.  I would say Complacent.  I typed it in to dictionary.com and got some ideas for why my brain would have come up with that particular word.

The first definition that popped up said "pleased, especially with oneself or one's merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied: The voters are too complacent to change the government." With synonyms: "smug, unbothered, untroubled."

I was thinking BINGO that is how I feel about many things in my life right now.  I feel like there is a lot of noise in my headphones and it's my job to turn down the noise and turn up the signal.  This is why I've been doing #madwriting more often, but in a private journal like Julia Cameron suggests.

But sometimes, it seems, you have to focus on the noise for a minute.  Like acknowledge it during your morning pages and then it clears you out for more creativity and focus later in the day.  I've been preparing for the academic year to begin for the entire month of August it seems and classes start tomorrow!

This is a bike-centered blog so I want to share some bicycle noise with you.  I didn't make it out to some bike-related events in the area that I heard about and wanted to check out (or check-in to), but didn't want to (or couldn't afford to) spend the money, fuel, time, etc. devoting an entire weekend to a recreational pursuit.  One: Festival of Bikes, Two: Tour de Lake Arrowhead, Three: Swap Meet, Four: Public Outreach.  I guess I'm just not that into the lifestyle that I can devote a weekend to biking and forsake all other events.

Last weekend, we attended a Car Wash to raise money for John Morlock who we met through facebook.  He is a veteran who rides in events with other veterans.  He is part of an organization called Ride2Recovery that supports veterans who can be provided bicycles (with adaptations if necessary to accommodate any injury) to complete long (~600 mile) multi-day rides.  The idea inspired me to stand streetside waving a flag for an hour in Burbank, while dear husband was soaping, washing, and drying cars with a group of young marines at the American Legion.  We met another veteran Robert Kugler who also rides a Ride2Recovery-issue bike, who was there along with his wife Charlie.  Both of them are from Nebraska, like me!

I encourage anyone who understands how awesome cycling is to consider how you might support the Ride2Recovery organization or participate in their events.  I believe there is no better way to heal yourself than to train for and achieve an inspiring tour, especially if you are doing it with your friends (who become your heroes before you finally believe in yourself).  I learned in the power of group cycling by riding with the Riverside Bicycle Club.  There are scientific papers that show you can tolerate a higher level of pain when you are training in synchronization with others.

This is why I love group events, cycling or running.  I'm so stoked to do the Color Run in San Diego.  I think I'm more looking forward to it because it forces me to train (at least a little) and the actual event is all about having fun.  To me, that's what fitness has always been about.  I've spent many years punishing my body, trying to twist it into ridiculous positions and defy the laws of physics.  I've fallen down from exhaustion in a dance studio, and I've fallen off my bike a few times.  I think doing the color run will be less about competition, and more about being with my friend Sam, whether we feel like we want to walk or run to get through the course.  I'll definitely post a report when we get back.

I have to spend some time on Clitoral Mass.  I mean Critical Mass.  It's one thing that I shout in my head at cyclists that I see not wearing helmets.  It's totally silly that I shout in my head at cyclists I see with no lights on.  I never want to go on group rides in Los Angeles because I hear that everyone's taking drugs and doing dangerous things.  I heard someone always leaves in an ambulance.  What kind of ride is that?  Who wants to get together on a weekly basis and say, "hope I'm not the person who leaves in the ambulance on tonight's ride."  Or maybe they say something like, "I'll never have a manuvering error when we're hammering through a densely-populated area at night on drugs and I'm 18-years old."  I'm not that age anymore, so I just can't go on those rides.

In other bike-related news, I tuned up our old bikes to get to the Farmer's Market and the bicycle parking is off Central Ave now not on Caruso Ave.  It's great to be able to lock your bike to a solid rack in the shade right next to the security office with cameras pointed at it.  As my friend pointed out, if I were going to steal a bike, I would steal that new fixie over there.  Well I love the bikes we have, and I hope we have them for a long time more.

Also, the little shop we got Mike's shoes & pedals for the Performance, and seat for the Trek has gone to new ownership.  I love to support local bike shops, because how far do you want to have to walk if you get a flat near your house?  If you don't support your local shop, you'll have to go all the way to a big-box retailer on foot (assuming your bicycle is your main mode of transportation, but who in the US would be in that situation?) Anyway, the new owner calls the shop simply Glendale Cycles and he is very calm and unassuming.  He has a mountain bike, a road bike and a BMX bike for himself.  He's had the shop just a few months now, but don't be afraid to go there if you are ever in the area.  The phone number is 818 937 9440.

1053 words. #madwriting.

Setbacks

I found out what happened to my back.  My sister diagnosed me over the phone on Dec 12.  A nerve root compression at L2-L3 or-L4 vertibra.  Either a bulging disc or a muscle impingement.  She told me to take 800 mg ibuprofen but I've been taking 440 mg of naproxen sodium instead.  (see prev post)  Then I started taking her recommended dose of ibuprofen after I realized the bottle of naproxen was expired.  Now my stomach is all irritated.  Stressed stomach.


I'm on total rest until my back is healed.  That means my backside is starting to channel Kim Kardashian and J-Lo.  All the holiday eating!  I've already crept up to the 150+ lb zone which puts me at OVERWEIGHT.  Damn.  Dear husband predicts I will tackle the weight loss battle again in the new year.  Between cycling, walking, weight training and tennis!  We shall overcome, sing it with me Oprah and Janet!


Looking on the bright side, I have a rehab plan involving mucho core strength, which will put me back in the running for the Riverside Raincross 5K, which isn't until Feb 25, 2012.  Maybe I'll plan to walk it, but I love that race.  Sitting here with a back brace to keep my spine in a neutral position isn't fun.  I'm feeling a deficiency of sunlight in my life.  I hate these short days.  Wait, I thought this was the bright side...

Carbs, Calcium, Cortisol, oh my!

What is going on? I feel like crap. I don't even want to exercise. I am once again mildly overweight. I cannot seem to keep myself at a healthy BMI.

I feel like my metabolism has dropped off the radar. Either I'm not eating enough, not sleeping enough, or I am too stressed. http://caloriecount.about.com/tools has revealed that I am consistently eating ~1200 cals per day. This is enough to support a sedentary lifestyle, which I am living now with the exception of 150 min per week of cardio (my bicycle commute). I am showing a deviation from the recommended daily allowance (RDA) of calcium (unless I eat yogurt and have a glass of milk in the same day), iron (unless I eat 8 oz. greens), and potassium (no matter what). Maybe I'm just depleated and that makes me tired and that makes me lazy and that makes me fat! I had to get out a different set of pants for teaching because I have definitely increased in size.

My training buddy told me to force my body to eat fats and it would in turn start to burn fats because it would get used to using fat as an energy source. Also hills! I'll let you know how it goes. From mapmyride.com I can see that in early/mid 2010, I was spending more time cross training with biking and running (40-60% of workout calories in a month were burned in runs). From September on (when I started creeping up in weight), even though I was burning the same number of calories per month, I was not cross-training as much. Instead of being balanced in my workouts, I was burning 80-90% of monthly calories (4000-6000) on biking and 5% on running. So running it is. And eating like a runner too.

My First Flat

Just a quick post about a great ride I had today with RBC. I love riding with those guys because I always feel safe and I get a terrific workout. Take today for example, I pushed past the 4o mile wall I'd been running up against. I've been wanting to do 50 miles in a single ride, but I just haven't been able to go that distance yet. Not only did I get closer to 50 miles today than I ever had before, but I did it on a ride with over 1500 ft of climbing. It was tough but the weather was cooperative, cool and cloudy with mist (but no rain) and a breeze. This would have been much more brutal with heat or rain or wind. The positive energy of (some of) the RBCers carried me on wings made of carbon fiber.

This weekend (yesterday) I also got to do the Corona Del Mar Scenic 5K with Sally Dyer (my mother-in-law) and Kristi Preston (my sister-in-law). It was as scenic as promised and just the right distance to enjoy every step. We ran in a women's race, which was fun because I've never done that before. I also got to run together with my family in a race, which is also something I haven't done yet. We had such a good time that I believe this race will be the first of many we'll do together.

The Riverside Raincross 5K Run/Walk was exhilarating!!! I was lucky enough to be able to run the whole time and finish right at 37:00 minutes:seconds. The course was dynamic, somewhat hilly, and very scenic. It has been so long (~Jan 2008) since I've run for any straight distance, I forgot how exciting it can be to run 5K. It's like the perfect distance to be a bit aggressive throughout. I was pacing myself until about the last 1/2 mile and people who had already finished the race began turning around and walking the course backwards, telling those of us who were unfamiliar with the layout that we should start sprinting. As soon as I knew there was only one uphill, one downhill and a turn left, I started kicking it into gear. I think that's how I got the real runner's high when I was done. Putting one foot in front of another isn't so different from pushing down on pedals one after the other, right?

After picking up my free orange slices donated by Gless Ranch, http://www.glessranch.com/, (incidentally that's where Mike and I got the oranges for table decorations at our wedding reception) and free "Dasani plus Vitamin Enhanced Flavored Water Beverage," I started walking the course backwards like the others had done, giving encouragement/direction to those who were still in the race. It was definitely a positive environment. In all the confusion, I had a hard time finding my dear husband Mike and our dear friend Homero. I did get to talk to some of the ladies who I saw running at a very fast pace toward the beginning of the race. One of the young (high school age) ones finished the entire race in 24 minutes! The older (mom age) ones finished in 30 minutes. I thanked them for their inspiring pace and enthusiasm and complimented them on their cute matching team outfits! They recommended I try some of the other 5K races down by the beach, since I seemed so enthusiastic about this one.

My friend and training teammate Andrew told me about a tool called Map My Ride. It seems like a great place to post your routes for the purposes of sharing good (and bad) routes for everyone's safety and enjoyment. Also there is an iPhone app so cyclists can download routes directly to their portable devices to prevent wrong turns. So I started inputting data from some of our recent adventures into the program and it puts out all kinds of encouraging stats like these (http://www.mapmyride.com/user/464890608312/) to keep me motivated.
Total Workouts in 2009: 11
Total Distance: 91.70 mi.
Total Burned: 4,128 (kcal)
Gas Saved: 5.09 gallons
Money Saved: $17.73
Carbon Offset: 98.6 lbs. of CO2

But it also forced me to confront some discouraging stats like...
Highest Education: Masters Degree
Occupation: Student
Employment Status: Full-Time
Income: $20,000 to $30,000
Have Kids: No Kids
Like if I'm not going to be able to work out now when I'm still in school and have no kids, how am I going to do it later on? And why am I still in school? And how come I make so little money? And when am I going to have those kids? And will I be able to reach my next level of education successfully? The balance between work/play has been difficult for me to regulate and I am still learning how to manage these aspects of my life in order to maximize my productivity and satisfaction both at work and at home. C'est la vie!

And these downright depressing facts...
Weight: 175
Waistline: 24"
Resting Heart Rate: 66 beats per minute
Body Mass Index: 32
I mean it is easy to get caught up in these numbers, right? If you spend your life striving for a target weight, aren't you wasting your life doing nothing but counting things? When is a person able to enjoy life? So usually I aim to be happy and not to worry about numbers like these. Sometimes though, I allow myself to not think of them at all. Perhaps I needed to be reminded of the true situation, not filtered through the lens of my genetic background excuses and not in the context of the people I see around me who are also obese, but from a quantitative medical perspective, I am currently doing damage to my internal organs by carrying this much extra weight around.

For some reason, I just don't like telling people my weight. But I decided that in the interests of being a real athlete here I have to be honest about the facts. I am considered obese right now with a body mass index of 32. Even if I lose 12 pounds, I'm still overweight. For me to get my BMI down into the vicinity of the high end of "normal weight," I would have to get down to my old welterweight of 135. I only remembering weighing this for a very short time when I was running 5K's several times per week with my then-boyfriend who was in Cross Country, and dancing 6 days per week both ballet and my high school dance team. I thought of this XCxboyf on my run today after I passed the 1 mile mark and realized I was holding a bunch of tension in my neck and arms and poorly regulating my breathing. Once I smiled and remembered what he showed me over 12 years ago, I felt my lungs open up and my stride improve. Incidentally, to become "underweight" I would have to drop down to a weight of 100 pounds. That's crazy!