Festivus

I'm actually kind of sick of all the social media posts about women doing all of the heavy lifting during the holidays. At some point, if you don't want to be the one doing all the heavy lifting, you have to put the burden down and do nothing. And wait for somebody else to pick it up, or make peace with the fact that not only do you not have to be the person to carry it, but actually, maybe it doesn't even need to be carried. Like, yes, if you don't do it, it won't get done. But also, maybe you can live without it. 

I'm saying this as someone who has been carrying a very heavy burden for the entire past few months. So heavy, in fact, that when I finally put it down, I'm almost catatonic. I'm having like a two-day migraine headache, and I feel like I physically cannot go on. My body is breaking down like my ribcage. And my neck.

I was listening to the Rise and Run podcast, and they mentioned the Airing of Grievances as a part of the Festivus holiday. I think it might be healthy. To prevent carrying these grievances into the new year. Our son, Albert, was upset that we didn’t do stockings on Christmas morning. I just couldn't swing it. I had stocking stuffers, but we never hung the stockings, so I mistakenly assumed Albert wouldn't expect one. 

My husband seemed to really get it. He realized he hadn't bought or wrapped any of the gifts under the tree. And he offered to do something to make a stocking for maybe New Year's Day. But to my knowledge, nothing has been done about it. And there will not be time. But he asked me not to do it because he feels bad about not doing anything else. I don't know.

We spent Christmas Eve baking. Sugar cookies, candy canes, fudge, peanut butter balls, and gingerbread. Mike delivered the plates to the neighbors. It was a good project for a rainy day when we couldn't do much else.

I don't know what more to do. Now I'm trying to decide whether to take Albert to the winter academy. It's a normal school day the week before they go back to school. Shouldn't I be jazzed to spend every possible moment with my kid? But it is tempting to go for it, since this break has been full of screen time, meltdowns, and sugar.

Clueless and Breathless race report

The event itself: Where? How long? When? Weather?

Along the LA River between Vanalden and Owensmouth. Start time 7am but we started early at 6:30am. The route is 5k from end to end. We didn’t do a 13.1 mile half. But it was okay. We did 20k. Weather was awesome. Cool and foggy.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSh5sgXCVWJ/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Course description and evaluation of event logistics

There were aid stations at mile at 0, 1.5, 4.5, 6, 7.5, 10.5, and 12 miles. There was an inflatable start line. There was a port-a-potty at mile 0. Aid stations had Electrolyt, Gatorade, Coca-Cola, water, Red Vines, fruit snacks, and doughnuts. The course was completely off-street on a bike path.

How did you train for the event

I am following the LA Marathon training plan level 3. We're halfway to the marathon, week 13 out of 26, so it felt right to do a half marathon. Last season, the Rose Bowl Half was postponed due to wildfire. I found it was a good idea to double up on Important milestones to have a backup. So this was my first half marathon race of the season but it was very laid back. We took a potty break mid-way through and I made some adjustments to my outfit. I did not care about the time for this event since it was not a full 13.1.

@fit4mom_west_sfv RunClub+ Session 6 #runclub #mamamagic #lamarathon2026

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSfyuKjko7U/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Gear and Nutrition

I started out in a tech t-shirt with my hydration vest. I ate some but probably not enough. My feet were giving me problems at three points during the race. Like mile 1, 8, and 11. Thankfully the race organizers let us leave stuff at the aid station, so I didn't carry my vest for the second 10k. I ate 1 package of BelVita cookies, 2 Gu's and 6 Clif bloks.

Specific experiences

I ran with my friend, we stayed together the whole time, talking and laughing. It made the race go by much faster. We put on the music from the movie soundtrack in the last 2 miles. 

Finish and associated emotion

I was SO happy to be done. I didn’t want to run a step further. The end-of-semester and holiday / birthday season is so stressful for me. I am behind on everything: rest, hydration, nutrition, and sleep. So I wasn't expecting a stellar performance. But it was actually painful. I hope new shoes will help. 

Overall evaluation of the event

Jed and Ted's Excellent Races are a monthly event bringing back vibes of the '80s and '90s with nostalgic movie themes. I would do one of these again. I would definitely recommend it for a first-time race for someone looking for a low-key high-fun experience. You get a bib and a medal. The organizers took lots of photos and shared them pretty much right away. Price $35. Totally worth it.

Lessons from being a dancer

I had the privilege of being a trained dancer. Which is to say YEARS of intense training. Almost every day. Sometimes twice a day. Lots of technique and few performances. Literally years of just learning how to point my foot, which muscles to use, and what "doing it correctly" feels like. Years of staring in the mirror, years of getting corrections from master teachers.

There are things I learned along the way. Like, it takes years to get okay at doing something. Some of us will train for a decade and never become a prima ballerina. I think this helps me in my running. Like I will never qualify for Boston, I am not on a masters track team. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy running for the sheer feeling of being in this body and doing the damn thing.

I learned, through dance, that you must listen to your body. There will be days when you feel strong, some days you feel extra flexible, some days you're in your feelings and you can dance with more emotion. Some days you need to sit down and rest. You can't be in top form all the time. You sometimes have to perform at less than 100%. The show must go on.

I learned that stretching is life. You must stretch. For hours. Per day. Small movements can add up to a stronger body. Especially if you do them regularly, like every day. Multiple times throughout the day.

From dance, I learned about breathing through a movement. I learned how to sit with discomfort. I learned how to find the calm even while your body is doing amazing things. I learned how to remain centered. I learned how to remain grounded. I learned about how a lot of your power comes from your foot. Yes, the thighs are amazing, and so is the booty. 

Dance taught me to cultivate a strong core. The basic dance warm up emphasizes fluidity of the spine. You're going to stretch your back, you're going to stretch and warm up your hips. Dance taught me to never skip your warm up exercises.

There is a dark side to dance. Constant pressure to shrink your body. I know it exists in sports like gymnastics and cycling, too. I don't miss that part of it. I appreciate that running allows me to fuel my body with less shame and judgement. I wonder how the GLP-1 craze has impacted the dance world. I imagine it's rampant.

I'm tapping back into my dance roots this session of RunClub+. I decided to post a video after each run instead of a static photo. It's going well and I am starting to remember how dance brings me a lot of joy. It's not important to me how it looks to anyone else, just like my running. I'm not trying to be the poster child for dance or running. But I do enjoy both.

Sparkle Season

I am already exhausted. The pressure to create the holiday magic is so real. I don't know if it actually brings me joy or am I a product of my culture. Like, am I just acculterated to feel like I must do these things:

Bake cookies

Decorate a tree

Buy gifts for people

Wrap the gifts

Hang stockings

Get stocking staffers

Plan a holiday meal / menu

Plan holiday experiences

Watch holiday movies

Drink holiday drinks

All while teaching six classes, leading a run club, and doing normal stuff like laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, meal prep, and trying like hell to drink enough water and not forget to do anything important.

I surround myself with calendars and to do lists. I am literally terrified of forgetting something. Thoughts flit into my consciousness and then right back out again just as quickly. I can't write them down fast enough and I can't remember what I already forgot.

I want the holidays to sparkle but I am not home enough to enjoy the decor. I have no idea what gifts I have already. I may have sent gifts to people. I bought holiday cards and stamps but I don't know when I will have the chance to address them, write a message, and put them in the mail.

My eye is twitching. It has been doing this for about 4 days. I'm worried it's due to stress and dehydration.

Cost of Racecations

I got a really nice compliment from my coworker today. She said I'm looking good in the body. And the skin too. I feel so much gratitude that I have the resources to spend on running and running-related travel. I know it's not the end of the year (yet). But I thought it would be interesting to look at how much we spent in our "startup" year compared to the following year. I told myself I wouldn't need to buy new stuff as much in 2025 since I already had most of the things I would need to complete a marathon.

TOTAL SPENDING IN 2024 = $6549

• Disneyland 5k 2024 $1466
• LA Big 5k 2024 $284
• OC Marathon 2024 $522
• CdM Scenic 5k 2024 $640
• SMC Classic 10k 2024 $1063
• Mission Inn Run 2024 $1075
• Holiday Half Marathon 2024 $1499

TOTAL SPENDING IN 2025 = $6476

• LA Marathon 2025 $1366
• Rose Bowl Half 2025 $724.11
• CdM Scenic 5k 2025 $1749.42
• Cookie Mile 2025 $35
• Bimbo Global 10k 2025 FREE
• Mission Inn Run 10k 2025 $1804.95
• Clueless and Breathless Half 2025 $35
• Random Clothing, Hats, Sunglasses $462
• Shoes $301

PROJECTED SPENDING IN 2026...

• 1/11 Citrus Heritage Run $676
• 1/18 Rose Bowl Half 2026 $126.42
• 2/15 Palm Desert Half 2026 $80.50 registration + $249.00 hotel
• 3/8 LA Marathon $1448.47
• 6/10 Epic Sister Camping / Disneyland Trip $2000+
• 8/1 Nebraska Family Reunion $2000+
• 9/27 - Bimbo Global Race 10k
• 10/18 - Mission Inn Run 10k - $120 registration
• 10/24 - Nike Women's Half

PROJECTED SPENDING IN 2027... 

• 1/17 - Rose Bowl Half $109.40 registration
• 3/7 - LA Marathon $363.69 registration + LARR membership + photo package

I didn't join Sparkle Squad for the 2025-26 season. I didn't renew my Strava subscription. I kind of miss it but also kind of not. Definitely the Sparkle Squad was an opportunity to spend more via the facebook group and little gift exhanges throughout the year. But I do kind of miss the features of the Strava subscription, I almost renewed it yesterday when I tried to access the heatmap for the purposes of route planning and I couldn't see street-level details. But I also miss when it would tell you "Athlete Intelligence" about something it noticed about your run. Usually it would say something encouraging like, wow that was a lot of climbing, or you really pushed your pace. It felt like I had a friend encouraging me for what was new or improved with each training session.

I guess what I'm trying to do right now is let go of the Palm Desert Half. I've never done it before and if I did it, I could get another medal for the Run Riverside County Challenge. I skipped Every Woman's Marathon 2025, and I'm okay with it since I was awarded a greater teaching load mid-semester. I thought it would be a nice trip, out to Palm Desert. But now I do have my Spring 2026 teaching schedule. Haha. Looks like I'll be running a marathon every Tuesday and Thursday.

SPRING 2026 TEACHING SCHEDULE

• MW 09:30am-12:20pm
• TR 09:30am-12:20pm
• TR 1:00pm-01:50pm
• TR 02:30pm-05:20pm

It's uncertain whether RunClub+ will continue for Spring 2026. I will be making enough from my CSUN units, so I don't really need the income from the side hustle, but it is nice to have the support from the other moms in the group. I am trying to unsubscribe from disney influencers because I don't want FOMO. I'm close to unsubscribing from LARR as well because they keep talking about this half-marathon and that drumstick dash. I'm trying to enjoy the races I signed up for and run the training runs. The actual race day doesn't feel as special when you're running a world major every other weekend. I enjoyed the Bimbo Global race a lot more than I thought I would. I enjoyed the Mission Inn Run a lot less than I thought I would.

I want to do the Mission Inn Run in 2026 because they have a legacy program. I would get a loyalty item, such as a hat, and a 3-year pin! I could put the pin on my patch jacket. It did work well to have our son stay with his grandma. However, kiddo was already nervous about Thanksgiving because he thought we would be dropping him off at grandma's again for an overnight. He said he was scared about that and didn't want to be away from us. So I would consider that when planning the potential Palm Desert Half and any other races for 2026. I'm glad I didn't sign up for the Holiday Half, even though that race was very special to me last year.

My motivation for running is to set a good example for my son. I took a few days off from my training plan, and I noticed that I had a noticeable drop in gratitude and joy. I had an increase in resentment and feelings of being disgruntled. I stayed home on Sunday when I would normally be out running and it was like I was in the way of my husband and the routine he's established with our son, they have some stuff that they enjoy doing together on Sunday while I'm out on my long run. So, I guess, it's become ingrained as a long-term pattern now that we've been doing this for two years. I really remember Thanksgiving weekend 2023 as the first runs leading up to the Disneyland 5k 2024.

As far as traditions this holiday season, I think we're going to just stick to training and our weekly routine and not do much else. Like, yes, bake cookies at home. But no, we're not planning to do any elaborate holiday light display that you have to pay to get into. I am still taking advantage of Buy Nothing to get things that are new to me, but also free. Yes, I have been stockpiling gifts for Albert to open on Christmas, which, by the way, we have no plans for. About half the gifts are games, which we can play at home. Running and doing my training is bringing me joy. And I look forward to returning to Fit4Mom in-person classes with Albert over winter break. I would also like to go rollerskating or ice skating at least once.

Fever Pitch

Fever pitch means a state of extreme excitement or agitation, and its origin is related to the high temperature of a fever. The earliest known use of the noun was in the 1830s, appearing in print in 1837, likely referencing the high temperature of a fever to describe intense emotions. The phrase is commonly associated with sports.

I have been working so hard since I got these new classes. Breakneck pace is a phrase that comes to mind. My mind is endlessly cycling through the "to do" list. Doing what absolutely needs to get done. Just putting out fires. Not really able to think about long-term strategy or even simple housekeeping.

Hot take versus hot flash

And I had such a bad PMS and hormone rollercoaster this cycle. My flow finally arrived this weekend but the past two weeks were either anger, anxiety, or overheating. It was hard to run and it was hard to be nice. I had to apologize to my family on more than one occasion.

The foot pain is real and I purchased a couple of things to try to address it. I bought lock laces, which are kind of like a bungee, stretchable laces. I also got some toe spreaders, to straighten out my little pinky toe. My sister said the pain that I was getting on the outer part of my foot is most likely due to my shoes being too pointy in the toe box. I guess it's called a bunionette, which is acute sounding name, but it didn't feel very cute.

Bad News Update

I think I'm starting to process through my grief, after I got the bad news that my cousin died last friday. It hasn't even been a week. I told my best friend from college. And I also told my best friend from high school. And just today I told the crossing guard that stands in front of my child's elementary school. It has been hard to go to work and pretend like I'm fine. I've done a lot of sobbing at my desk. 

I've been trying to think of ways that I can honor her. But so far nothing feels right. The only thing that feels logical is to reach out to the tough mamas in my life that are still out there doing the work, fighting the fight, parenting, being an athlete, being a strong member of their community. Just reaching out to them and saying how much I appreciate them. How much the world needs them. How much their family and friends benefit from their presence and strength.

I feel like this tragedy has helped me just take my foot off the gas pedal, a little bit with work stuff. Reevaluate my priorities. Ask myself what things are worth stressing about, and what things are really just small? And I can let them go. It's really terrible to read the obituary of a forty two year old woman.

        

Katherine Gogela Obituary (1983 - 2025) - Lincoln, NE

https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/journalstar/name/katherine-gogela-obituary?id=60019271

Lincoln doctor dies after being hit by SUV https://share.google/98sVPQD924YHBW3kx

Stanford Student Dies After Being Hit By Van While Jogging / Nebraska woman struck crossing road https://share.google/1dPeUX0emO5LUJtYb

I used to make very insensitive remarks like, "If I die while I'm out on a bike ride, at least I died doing something I loved." The truth is, at that time, I was suicidal. I was under so much strain and stress during graduate school that the thought of dying was like being able to rest, and I actually wanted to rest. Now that I'm a mom, I definitely don't want to die. I want to be able to exercise outdoors safely without fear of being killed by a vehicle.

The other thing I said, right when it happened, is, "I don't even know what she was training for." My mom said, "She was probably just out enjoying the day, because it was the last beautiful day before winter weather hits." But still in my mind, I had a feeling she was training for something. A mother of four doesn't just go out for a walk because she feels like it. Katie was an accomplished physician and a busy working mom. To be so high-achieving, she was a type A personality.

I looked her up on Athlinks. I found out what name she uses to register for races. I found out that she had already completed two marathons: Panama City Beach Marathon in 2022 and Grandma's Marathon in 2023. But that still didn't answer the question, on that day, on that run, what was she training for?

The answer came over the weekend, Katie was training for The Good Life Halfsy. A half-marathon in Lincoln, which Katie had run before. She was well into her two-week taper period. She was killed on a Friday, the half-marathon she had been training for was on Sunday. I cried a lot on Monday, on what should have been her Medal Monday. Somehow, it brings me peace to know that she was training for something. 

Gratitude Season

As we transition from spooky season and into the winter months, I thought it would be a good idea to post a quick blog entry before November slips away. I've been having thoughts but not having time to write about them.

Trust Your Training

One thought that came to mind was to trust the training plan. And when you can't perfectly adhere to the training plan for whatever reason, you can trust that you've done most of the work and that's going to be enough to get you through your goal race.

What happened is that we've been getting sick (with diarrhea), and that's one reason why I will not run. The rule of thumb that I use is if it is a runny nose or sore throat, it's okay to run. But if it's below the neck (vomiting or diarrhea), then you should rest until you feel better. 

I am okay with my body 🫠

Vs my body is amazing ‼️

I wanted to say my body is amazing, but I think the statement, "I am okay with my body" resonates more truthfully. I do appreciate my body and I am ready to be filmed while teaching. And I feel like my body looks fine in clothes. But this gratitude season, I would like to work on getting closer to believing the latter. 

After spending some time thinking about it, I probably have a warped body image because I work at a university, and the majority of people that I see are in their late teens or early 20s. If I were around just women my age, I would probably feel differently. Also, since I became a mom at an older age, most of the moms that I know are younger than me. I don't idolize youth, by any means. I am trying to lean into my sage middle-age.

What are happy tits? Where can I get some? I saw an ad for a band called The Happy Fits but my brain assumed it was happy tits. My sister identified my style of movement, "shuffle running," and hypothesized that maybe I run that way to minimize bounce because of my happy tits.

I think everyone has some part of their body that causes them to feel a certain kind of way. But let me tell you, your body is amazing. You're crushing it. And I'm so glad we're doing this together

Personal austerity: The term can also describe an individual or household living a more frugal and simple lifestyle due to financial hardship. As we move beyond this era. I am buying All the Things. It's nuts. I want to stop but the austerity I felt repressed some things and now I'm reacting to that by over-buying. Or am I?

Last bit of news is very bad news. Another cousin of mine has died while running. Hit by a car. Just like the last one. I don't know how to feel.