Fever Pitch

Fever pitch means a state of extreme excitement or agitation, and its origin is related to the high temperature of a fever. The earliest known use of the noun was in the 1830s, appearing in print in 1837, likely referencing the high temperature of a fever to describe intense emotions. The phrase is commonly associated with sports.

I have been working so hard since I got these new classes. Breakneck pace is a phrase that comes to mind. My mind is endlessly cycling through the "to do" list. Doing what absolutely needs to get done. Just putting out fires. Not really able to think about long-term strategy or even simple housekeeping.

Hot take versus hot flash

And I had such a bad PMS and hormone rollercoaster this cycle. My flow finally arrived this weekend but the past two weeks were either anger, anxiety, or overheating. It was hard to run and it was hard to be nice. I had to apologize to my family on more than one occasion.

The foot pain is real and I purchased a couple of things to try to address it. I bought lock laces, which are kind of like a bungee, stretchable laces. I also got some toe spreaders, to straighten out my little pinky toe. My sister said the pain that I was getting on the outer part of my foot is most likely due to my shoes being too pointy in the toe box. I guess it's called a bunionette, which is acute sounding name, but it didn't feel very cute.

Bad News Update

I think I'm starting to process through my grief, after I got the bad news that my cousin died last friday. It hasn't even been a week. I told my best friend from college. And I also told my best friend from high school. And just today I told the crossing guard that stands in front of my child's elementary school. It has been hard to go to work and pretend like I'm fine. I've done a lot of sobbing at my desk. 

I've been trying to think of ways that I can honor her. But so far nothing feels right. The only thing that feels logical is to reach out to the tough mamas in my life that are still out there doing the work, fighting the fight, parenting, being an athlete, being a strong member of their community. Just reaching out to them and saying how much I appreciate them. How much the world needs them. How much their family and friends benefit from their presence and strength.

I feel like this tragedy has helped me just take my foot off the gas pedal, a little bit with work stuff. Reevaluate my priorities. Ask myself what things are worth stressing about, and what things are really just small? And I can let them go. It's really terrible to read the obituary of a forty two year old woman.

        

Katherine Gogela Obituary (1983 - 2025) - Lincoln, NE

https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/journalstar/name/katherine-gogela-obituary?id=60019271

Lincoln doctor dies after being hit by SUV https://share.google/98sVPQD924YHBW3kx

Stanford Student Dies After Being Hit By Van While Jogging / Nebraska woman struck crossing road https://share.google/1dPeUX0emO5LUJtYb

I used to make very insensitive remarks like, "If I die while I'm out on a bike ride, at least I died doing something I loved." The truth is, at that time, I was suicidal. I was under so much strain and stress during graduate school that the thought of dying was like being able to rest, and I actually wanted to rest. Now that I'm a mom, I definitely don't want to die. I want to be able to exercise outdoors safely without fear of being killed by a vehicle.

The other thing I said, right when it happened, is, "I don't even know what she was training for." My mom said, "She was probably just out enjoying the day, because it was the last beautiful day before winter weather hits." But still in my mind, I had a feeling she was training for something. A mother of four doesn't just go out for a walk because she feels like it. Katie was an accomplished physician and a busy working mom. To be so high-achieving, she was a type A personality.

I looked her up on Athlinks. I found out what name she uses to register for races. I found out that she had already completed two marathons: Panama City Beach Marathon in 2022 and Grandma's Marathon in 2023. But that still didn't answer the question, on that day, on that run, what was she training for?

The answer came over the weekend, Katie was training for The Good Life Halfsy. A half-marathon in Lincoln, which Katie had run before. She was well into her two-week taper period. She was killed on a Friday, the half-marathon she had been training for was on Sunday. I cried a lot on Monday, on what should have been her Medal Monday. Somehow, it brings me peace to know that she was training for something. 

Pregnancy Part 14

This weekend we worked on our house tasks and took a day in LA. Last weekend, we did some shopping, then more shopping, then house tasks. What I mean by house tasks is furniture assembly and redistribution of items into the new furniture.

When we moved to our Northridge condo around 2.75 years ago, we agreed that we wouldn't buy any furniture or decorate until we had lived there for 1 year. After that time, we bought a few bookshelves, a pair of lamps and some end tables. Nothing too expensive, since we live across the street from the Goodwill. Maybe all together it cost $200 (or less). It doesn't look bad, in fact we were so overjoyed to have the extra space and white walls.

Now, we are preparing to babyproof the house, which means getting everything up off the floor and into containers that the baby can't get into. Hence the need for furniture. We bought two dressers at IKEA which have 6 drawers each. The space we were concerned about was a metal shelf that had everything exposed.

Xmas 2017 / New Year 2018

I don't know if you can tell, but the dry goods in the metal rack above are organized by plant family. Other items moved into the new dressers included: glassware, tablecloth, fabric napkins, dishrags, aprons. And my seed library!

View this post on Instagram

How do you organize your #seedlibrary ?

A post shared by Kayla Kaiser (@hamerk02) on Mar 11, 2018 at 7:24pm PDT

The day in LA was fun and we did a lot of walking. Seeing the Walk of Fame is always an eventful day. We saw a movie at the Cinedome (56 years old) on Sunset and Vine, which is now called the ArcLight Hollywood. We ate lunch at Miceli's (a 70-year institution on Hollywood Blvd). I did wear my BellyBandit belt for a few hours in the morning, but I took it off at lunch. It was fun showing my in-laws how to ride the subway (Metro) red line.

I wish I had time to write more, but tonight we have a doctor's appointment and then Bradley birth class and then I am DETERMINED to get to the grocery store and get re-stocked. We've been eating out quite a bit since devoting our weekends to "home tasks" instead of grocery shopping and cooking.

Pregnancy Part 9

This is week 17. I feel like my belly is really stretching out. Mike says next week my belly button will pop out. I feel like my breasts have taken on a life of their own, they are large and veiny.

  

How I feel now is nervous about the upcoming scans. This month we have lots of appointments. Next week is the 18 week ultrasound with our OB, Dr. Marr. I believe she will be taking samples for the second trimester screening. In three weeks we have our 20 week anatomy scan with the MFM, Dr. Incerpi. Four weeks from now we go in for a fetal echocardiogram at 21 weeks, Dr. Nancy Kim. Until proven otherwise, this is a normal pregnancy. The docs are just being cautious.

I got a call from the Department of Public Health yesterday, they say the doctor needs to send them our insurance information to do the billing for the first trimester screening tests. I am definitely handling medical stuff, including billing and insurance, much better than before. It's all just business and something that has to be done. I don't really get as upset and worked-up as I did before. I called my doctor's office and they said that it was really strange. If DPH didn't give me a fax number then there's nothing they can do. I guess I will just try to deal with it at our appointment next week.

A colleague at work said, "pregnancy suits you." I'm not sure exactly what she meant by that, but I can agree. I don't feel absolutely terrible like some people have told me horror stories of pregnancy. I feel calm, for the most part. My husband spoils me. He gives me so much attention and I only really notice how much when he can't be there for me. Last night I had a bit of a sob-fest over just feeling alone when I used to LOVE being at school late by myself and walking/biking home in the dark.

Dear husband was out last night at the City of Los Angeles Bicycle Advisory Committee. I'm really proud of him for doing that work, but it was hard getting myself home all alone. He was also having a meeting with the Community Advisory Group for the Aliso Canyon SoCal Gas blowout Department of Public Health study. I used to be involved in a lot of advocacy and activism, but with this pregnancy, it's just important to rest and keep up with the work I am being paid for.

There is a CicLAvia this weekend but we won't be going. Instead, we will be doing outreach at the Granada Hills Street Faire. I get it. Local is better. Now that we're living "deep in the valley," we don't get out to downtown LA as much as when we lived in Glendale. The following day there is the Encino Family Festival, which is on Ventura Blvd. I guess we could check it out just to get out of the house. Unfortunately, by Sunday it is supposed to be in the mid-90s so maybe we will just stay home in the air conditioning.

Fertility Part 9

I have been following The IVF Diet for 15 days now, today is day 16. I feel my mood is pretty mellow but I am still tired of all the work it takes to make these meals. At least I will be able to look back and say, "I did everything in my power to prepare my body for pregnancy."

April 21-27, 2019, is National Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility is defined as the inability of couples to achieve pregnancy after over one year of trying. As I'm sitting here kind of forcing myself to eat oatmeal with coconut milk, I am thinking of all the other couples out there who have been where I am now.

Infertility sucks. I know cuz I’ve struggled with it for almost a decade. This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, and we need to talk openly about this issue. If you’re going through it, you’re not alone. ❤️ An article I wrote in @cenmag in 2016: https://t.co/klItZt0p7S

— Linda Wang_C&EN (@l_wang_cen) April 23, 2019

Here are some blogs and stories that I found really helpful for myself.

THE DIET
http://www.bubblesandbumps.com/my-30-day-ivf-diet/
RISKS, SIDE-EFFECTS, DELAYS
http://www.whitneyanderick.com/a-real-life-guide-to-mild-and-moderate-ovarian-hyperstimulation-syndrome-ohss/
TO DO GENETIC TESTING (OR NOT)
http://iamrefusingtosink.weebly.com/why-you-must-test-your-embryos-my-story-of-regret.html
https://meetthehopefuls.com/2015/08/20/ivf-2-cycle-update-and-pgs-results/
THE TWO WEEK WAIT
http://withgreatexpectation.com/ivf/sample-meal-plan-two-week-wait/
THE JOURNEY
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/series/my-ivf-life

We've broken many of these pieces of advice, but I did find many of "The Egg Whisperer" videos to be calming and reassuring. Thank you Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh for keeping it real, I love your videos.

Candace Farris is a bright shining light and I am so grateful for her videos. She found very few resources within the minority community, so she decided to start putting herself out there.

We survived Easter (the stress of seeing family, meeting expectations) and every time someone else ate a piece of carrot cake, I ate a roasted chicken breast. Happy Ishtar!

September to Remember

I am running a bit tired today and I thought... what could cheer me up? So I came to write a quick blog post about September and thought of this song~~~~


I really need to go rollerskating. I miss my rollerdiscoboogielife.

Since school has started, I've been reading "Becoming Nicole" and I was really looking forward to attending the "New Student Convocation" because Nicole Maines was the keynote speaker.

The event was slightly ruined by a group protesting EO1100. There are reasons why the CSU is having difficulty graduating 100% of incoming students. Some people believe that our students are taking unnecessary courses. Some of those courses include remedial math and remedial writing classes. Some of those courses include Africana studies, American Indian studies, Asian-American studies, Central American studies and gender and women’s studies. The instructors who teach those courses would see their enrollment drop (and job cuts) if students are no longer required to take those courses.

I'm sad that people don't graduate. I'm sad that Nicole's keynote was overshadowed by a group of angry people. I'm sad that students are coming to a university that is not able to eliminate opportunity and achievement gaps. I'm sad that people are going to be losing their part-time teaching jobs. It's a complicated issue.

EO1110 retires the placement tests in math and English, instead focusing on offering non-remedial courses only. Our department is filling our classes to the fire code limit to balance the budget because our department gets a certain amount of money per enrolled student, but... How does a packed and uncomfortable classroom support student retention and success? Sometimes I feel like the CSU-level initiatives and what our department does are in direct conflict.

Someone mentioned that their son is studying GIS. I got jealous. I have to get ready for class now. I'm trying lots of new ways to use technology in the classroom. I can't say if any of it is working yet.