aftermath of the wildfires

Most people I know are starting to unpack their "go" bags. People who have evacuated will return home next week, or the following week. If they have a home to return to. 

My run club is offering four options for this weekend's long run (1) and (2) are in Griffith Park on Saturday and Sunday, which is being dubbed the "Bunny Hop" Half. (3) is a half marathon in Orange County around the back bay. (4) is an entirely virtual run that you can do on the treadmill, which is only 75 minutes.

I've pivoted as best I can, given the circumstances. I'm trying to be easy on myself for missing workouts. I trust my training has been enough to fill the Fitness Bank, as our couch calls it. The theory is that you train to fill the bank and cash out on race day.

The drawback to indoor workouts is that you use different muscles on the treadmill. I realized it myself when you do a "hill" workout on the treadmill, essentially you're always running on flat or uphill but never downhill. Our coach says that it is almost a different set of muscles. And when you return to running outdoors, you will feel sluggish.

The Coalition for Clean Air suggests that outdoor activities should be avoided until we have a good rain. The coalition comprises representatives from the California Air Resources Board (CARB) and South Coast Air Quality Management District (AQMD).

These times feel reminiscent of COVID-19 early days because people are masking up. There is a lot of uncertainty around risk exposure.

Upsides to the treadmill, you can control your speed much easier. You can read your heart rate. You don't have to wait for the light to change to cross the street. You can watch TV or read a digital book while walking. You don't have to worry about what street you're on, where to turn, or where you can go to the bathroom. You can be unencumbered by your water and snacks. 

I like to look at the houses when I'm out in the city. I want to smell the smells (unless it's urine). I like the vibe of the traffic and hearing whatever music people are listening to. I enjoy waving to people on bicycles, pushing strollers, or dog walking. I don't like getting cat-called or followed by strangers in trucks. I don't like it when cars run red lights. So, there are dangers (risks) associated with indoor and outdoor running.

For me, the timeline went like this:

Sun, Jan 5 - long run with LARR, got my ass handed to me by running too fast
Mon, Jan 6 - Fit4Mom class without kiddo, walked the steep hill
Tues, Jan 7 - walked the school drop-off (skipped morning workout)
Wed, Jan 8 - ran indoors at CSUN
Thurs, Jan 9 - long walk with kiddo 
Fri, Sat, Jan 10-11 - stayed home with kiddo (no school)

Sun, Jan 12 - ran indoors at Planet Fitness, but not a long run.
Mon, Jan 13 - Fit4Mom class without kiddo, walked the steep hill
Tues, Jan 14 - ran outdoors, new route, didn't feel great afterward
Wed, Jan 15 - walked the school drop-off
Thu, Jan 16 - ran indoors at Planet Fitness, but not a long run
Fri, Jan 17 - rest day
Sat, Jan 18 - Half Marathon in OC

I've spent today mostly making sense of where I'm at and where I'm going. I redrew the calendar on the chalkboard and the white board. I could've done more but I'm going to stop now.

runcation

I see a runcation in our future. This is where your vacation is planned around a run. To extend the distance covered in my workouts, I mapped out possible courses.

CSUN runDisney training 5k - https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1lRAyXTnYRC1nJS-4xYMXE9b5cCxG9rE&usp=sharing

Topanga runDisney Training 5k - https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1VXMuw9fTsV56tawq7dtORRGs1_0Dgtg&usp=sharing

Mason runDisney 5k training - https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1KzsxlSCtFftcqmGQaE1Q59eLsIy3sa0&usp=sharing

Chatsworth runDisney 5k training - https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1qIv3rFuuqsAgwZriCePSGntBLbVy1xo&usp=sharing

Porter Ranch 10k runDisney training - https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1rBG6BKEq64goG8jPOXmxxn6BTHBEj7Y&usp=sharing

I learned that what looks good on Google Maps maybe not practical, for example some streets have no sidewalks and some unincorporated areas don't have curb cuts for your stroller.

I want to go to REI to get some Clif Shot Bloks or maybe just order them from Amazon.

I learned that the Versa 4 doesn't create a map, nor does it connect to GPS, when you set it to "walk" unless you very quickly hit the "^" on workout and change the settings. So when I did the practice of the Mason route, it didn't use GPS to track distance so I'm guessing the distances on the route sheet are all wrong.

So I think the distances I tracked on the Cue Sheet for the Mason 5k are not correct because I haven't calibrated my Fitbit by walking or running on a track. I'm having trouble finding a track (whether indoor or outdoor) to use.

Cue Sheets https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ob-scNq3CWe8fmXwi2f_BMB09rMG-5fJsrNtOQ3bYSQ/edit?usp=sharing 

I feel the winter solstice coming. The days are oh so short.

We are planning to ride the Holiday Lights Ride with Walk Bike Glendale tomorrow. It's Mikey's birthday. 

New Semester, New Wardrobe

I had started making purchases for this semester before it started, so here's a list of what I bought in order of how much I love it and how much it has helped me.

Kelly Bag with matching Pumparoo $39 = new $160. This is a game-changer. I would say if you're thinking about getting a pumping bag but you don't know how long you'll be pumping, this one is awesome even for just going to work. The pump compartment is a cooler so I can put my lunch in there and not have to take a separate bag. Then when I get to work, I flatten that compartment and put all my work stuff in there and it all fits. Then at the end of the day, I put all my dirty dishes in the main compartment and it all fits. Amazing! If I were to change the design at all, I would love to have a chest clip and some reflective details, but I'll work on adding that stuff myself.

Simple Joys by Carter's Baby Everyday Diaper Backpack, I got this off Buy Nothing for Free = $50 new. This is my new fav diaper bag. I love how it clips on to the stroller. I love the wipes pocket on the side. It's a great park bag.

Signature by Levi Strauss & Co. Gold Label Women's Size Totally Shaping Pull-On Skinny Jeans
Levi's $111 for 4 pairs (size 20) definitely follow the size chart, do not go by what size Amazon recommends for you! I had to send the first pair back for a refund. So far I haven't put them in the dryer but husband did and it didn't seem to ruin it. The waistband wasn't exactly right, but it got into place once I put them on. I can't speak to durability at this point since it's only week 2 but I can say that I don't dread getting dressed in the morning. I throw on one of these and go.

Latched Mama Snuggle Up Nursing Sweatshirt 2x/3x $58. I am using this WAY more than I thought I would. I absolutely love it and so does Albert. I can put him in there either forward or rear facing. It's been colder than usual with some days in the 30s and I can wear him to school so he stays nice and warm and cozy and I don't have to worry about him freezing in the stroller.

I never regret anything I buy from Latched Mama. I'm already using the vest daily and I love it. I did get some holiday-specific stuff which I packed away until next year. I do feel like a crazy person for it, but also I get so many compliments on the snuggle-up.

I can't believe I almost forgot to write about these new shoes. I love them so much. I realized after a bit of shopping that it's better to know the number of this year's (latest) model and then shop specifically for last year's. That's how I found the Ghost 14 for the cheapest. The other two are "this year" models, but I couldn't find the previous year models in my size. They were sold out.

One of my colleagues asked me, "where are your crazy pants?" I guess I was becoming notorious for the LuLaRoe pants with wild prints. I don't mind, of course.

My workout pants that I love are
CRZ YOGA Women's Naked Feeling High Waisted Yoga Pants with Pockets Workout Leggings Camo - 25 Inches Camo Multi 16 25'' X-Large

They also make shorts
CRZ YOGA Women's Naked Feeling Long Biker Shorts - 10'' High Waist Workout Yoga Gym Running Spandex Shorts Side Pockets Stone-Washed Indigo X-Large

I have both 10" inseam and 8" inseam. I kind of like the shorter ones because they let my knees cool down. But both are great! People in my life keep complaining about their yoga pants and I can't say enough good things about these. I've had the pants for 2 years and I wash and dry them with all my other laundry (no special treatment) and they are so durable.

November 2021 thoughts

 11/1 - Putting LO in daycare tomorrow for the first time. Pray for us.

11/2 - Daycare drop-off on LO's 1st ever time away from parents went well. I left him at 8am and picked him back up at noon. I cried and have a migraine from the stress. The daycare said LO did great. Phew. What a relief.

I hope they don't think we are total weirdos for starting with half days, but I'm just not ready to let LO try to nap somewhere else. I want to do some short days so that LO becomes confident we'll come back to get him. He's good with routines, so I'm gonna try a few weeks of synchronization of his routine at home with the routine at daycare.

11/3 -  I am starting to let go. The last thing I want is to stifle my LO's development by keeping him too close to me. We took our baby set off the Tripp Trapp, which means no straps. We've had several falls with him climbing all over it. But I still haven't put the straps back on because I think he's just exploring it and he'll learn how to get up and down with practice. So if you're ready for all that, go ahead and go booster seat.

Has anyone coined a term for the work-from-home-no-childcare mom (or parent) yet? I did finally send my LO to daycare, and it has been so hard for me to adjust. The house is so quiet. I have my autonomy back. I have my brain back. I can shower alone. But I feel like half my body is gone. I somehow miss the constant demands for attention. I can't stop talking to myself. I don't know if I should be making an OB appointment to get on some kind of antidepressant or antipsychotic medication. I know it will continue to evolve, and we're just doing half-days at daycare, but right now my heart is full of big feelings.

11/7 - I spent about an hour on the foam roller last night and I woke up this morning with no pain in my back, neck, legs and feet. It was glorious. Spent the better part of the day cleaning out the garage. Hubs always wants to have a quiet relaxing weekend. I always want his help doing things I can't do (or don't want to do) alone. This caused some tension but I'm happy because I got (and did) what I wanted. We had great weather for garage work (cool breeze, overcast). LO had fun running around inside the garage and playing with a bunch of new treasures. I was able to part with some items from the past and I aim to go further with decluttering and letting go.

BR: we let some big toys and a stroller go. I have to say this is why I needed my husband's help. I can get sentimentally attached to objects and hang on to them for way longer than necessary. I'm considering getting rid of my cloth diaper stash. Now that LO is in daycare, I don't see us going back to that.

11/8 - Our dog is 14. LO plays & spills the dog food & water multiple times per day. We've explored rehoming the dog but with no strong leads. Now that LO is at daycare, I'm hoping the dog enjoys having the house to herself for at least half days.

11/10 - The strength of my marriage is not tested when all is well and easy. It is testable when things are not good, when we're tired. Thanks parenthood for providing ample opportunity for testing.

11/11 - Is there any regret for NOT having formal photos of LO? I bought a tiny suit in size 18m but never sat LO down all dressed up for a photo. Daycare arranged picture day last week but it was on a Friday and our kiddo only goes Tues, Wed, Thurs. I didn't do a formal Halloween pic. I'm wondering if I will regret this.

It's still so weird with COVID having doubts about being in public. Do I take LO to the mall to sit on Santa's lap or is that creepy and weird? Do I take photos at the beach on some random day? Do I ditch the suit and just move on?

11/16 - I was talking with a colleague yesterday about being a working mom and I came up with an analogy: trying to come up with ideas from my mombrain is like wringing out a dirty dishrag. Let's say a good idea would be clean soapy (productive) water but all it seems I'm getting out of my brain now are dingy dirty gross (not valuable) ideas. Crap, basically. She was like, "it's unreasonable to expect yourself to work at the level you did before kids." And yes, I understand this. But I told her that I need to step down from all unpaid work. For my sanity and because I am not sharing valuable contributions and that stresses me out.

I also realized that by sending LO to daycare for just 12 hours per week, I feel like I got oxygen back into my lungs. Like it resuscitated me. I came back to life. I was drowning. And I feel born again. We're only in week 3. LO had diarrhea last Thursday (when daycare was closed for Veteran's Day) and vomited Thursday night, then been sniffling and whiny all throughout the long weekend so I didn't get as much work done as I had hoped. But LO is back to daycare today. Even though he still has a runny nose, they said I could leave him since he doesn't have a fever.

My printer inexplicably stopped printing and I am frustrated. WFH sucks because I can't call IT and have someone else deal with it and also I don't need it fixed badly enough to actually deal with it myself.

11/21 - We rehomed our dog this week. She has been gone since Wednesday. She went to a SAHM whose son is now in school and she was looking for a companion. Our 14 year old maltipoo is good with our son but was so spoiled that she was barking at us to take her for walks and we just couldn't deal with being barked at constantly. She also stole food out of LO's hand, causing mealtime meltdowns. Our LO was constantly dumping the dog's food and water on the laminate flooring that cannot get wet so that was a challenge. And LO was constantly going out the dog door and playing in the garden and bringing in dirt and rocks, so we would shut the dog door but then the dog would bark. So yeah I'm filing this under self-care. I have had a dog for the past 20 years so it's an adjustment, but LO is a handful so I'm plenty busy as a non-dog-owner.

11/24 - The walk to daycare this morning was eerily quiet. LO pretty much falls asleep immediately in the car, which is great if you plan for it but kinda sucky if you're driving 5 minutes and your LO wakes up permanently if you attempt a transfer.

My LO is firmly against hats. I'm sad because I love hats and have bought him a bunch of them that he refuses to wear.

11/29 - Milestone Monday = Jumping! He first did it when he was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and they were all jumping. He's been doing it daily since. He does come to my exercise classes with me and has since I was 13 weeks pregnant. So he's seen me jump, squat, lunge and all that. He does baby squats and baby twerks also. I love seeing him have music appreciation.

11/30 - Hate that our daycare only has me listed. I get all notifications and fill out all forms. DH is listed but not authorized to login with his email so he does not receive notifications. I just hate coparenting when the mom is the default for everything. Dad should be equally responsible, notified, informed and authorized.

Also while I'm ranting, we are spending Thanksgiving and Xmas with in-laws. Trying to pin down whether there is a gift exchange. His family is so freaking formal. I just know they will want to have LO open presents and sit down for a meal. Then they get upset that he doesn't understand how to open presents or won't want to play with whatever they buy for him. They have not asked what we want so I hope it's not a plastic annoying monstrosity. Also LO won't make it through a formal dinner. And I will have to chase him around the whole time saying "Don't touch grandma's [insert breakable item on the toddler eye level]." They haven't watched LO even one time since he was born. Ugh.