22 week check in

Briefly, things are going well. Albert is long and strong. He is 28.5 inches tall, which puts him in the 99th percentile for length. He is average weight (around 50th percentile) and still has a big head (90th percentile) that is mostly round now.

I had a revelation that "my weight gain is partly Albert and his weight gain is partly me." This has helped me be more at peace with my post-baby body. I also still use the affirmation "my baby is healthy, my baby is safe" which helps me navigate this pandemic.

He is waking 4-6 times at night to eat. I have grown to understand that I am an attachment parent. Back-to-school is going to be difficult since I have been attached to Albert for 5 months, 8 if you count my third trimester where I was working from home.

I picked up my copy of Cribsheet today. I had a bookmark stuck in it. Apparently I had read the chapters on coming home from the hospital, breastfeeding, safe sleep, naps, vaccinations, work-life balance, and day care. I had stopped at sleep training. When I picked it up, I knew it was time for the topic. 

Also the bookmark I had put there was my instructions from the chiropractor about the time required to heal from a C-section and I also needed to be reminded that I should do no crunches until Albert is 1 year old. Also that it will take 6-9 months after I stop breastfeeding for the relaxin to leave my body. 

My dear sister said that I should give it one year plus 5 months, at least that is the advice she gives her athletes.

What I wanted to discuss today is how we are rearranging the house to accommodate zoom spaces and Albert's new toys and the pack and play now that it is no longer a changing table.

Actual Places to put Baby

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-GGD48-Sit-Me-Up-Floor-Seat/dp/B07FG5XQ49/

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Infant-to-Toddler-Rocker-Geo-Diamonds/dp/B014D4HHQI/

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Me-Playard-Mattress-White/dp/B004JU0H6O/
+ associated mattress cover and sheets

https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Secure-Waterproof-Diaper-Changing/dp/B00O64QJOC/
+ associated sheet covers

Toys & Stuff to do with Baby

https://www.amazon.com/Little-Tikes-Splash-Water-Table/dp/B00QGSMK8K/

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Me-Playard-Mattress-White/dp/B004JU0H6O/
+ associated mattress cover and sheets

http://annesoddsandends.blogspot.com/2013/04/fisher-price-friday-milk-carrier.html

Clifton Strengths

I took the CliftonStrengths assessment and out of 34 possible strengths, I got a coaching session based on my top 5.

Achiever

Activator

Significance

Strategic

Woo

Achiever is under the broad category of Executing. People exceptionally talented in the Achiever theme work hard and possess a great deal of stamina. They take immense satisfaction in being busy and productive. I like making lists and getting things done. I can persevere in tasks even if they require a great deal of focus and time.

I have 3 strengths in the influencing theme: Activator, Significance, and Woo. Activators make things happen by turning thoughts into action. In a group, I tend to "zone out" when people are talking about ideas but then "lean in" when they get to the action part. I contribute ideas for what to do when a group has identified a cause or issue that they want to pursue.

The Significance strength is found in people who want to make a big impact. They are independent and prioritize projects based on how much influence they will have on their organization or people around them. I use my status to help bring attention to issues effecting my community. My title and previous awards can bring more resources to my organization.

People exceptionally talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with someone. Woo is also an acronym for "winning over others." Wooers tend to have lots of contacts who they know at a superficial level. I realized later in life that I can hold back in social situations because I am too concerned about whether people will like me.

Strategic falls under the theme of strategic thinking. People exceptionally talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues. This is a skill I acquired later in life by taking adventures in Los Angeles without a car. Learning to be flexible in travel plans has taught me to be flexible in other areas of my life.

One concern I had is that these strengths are what I cultivated in my professional life and helped advance my career. I don't know whether they will help me be a better parent. Maybe becoming a mom will shift my strengths from these top 5 to a new set. My friend encouraged me to take the assessment again thinking only about momming. I just don't feel like I have my mom identity just yet. She said it's early days yet, like halfway through freshman year. There's still time to find myself in this new role.

cooking with baby in a pandemic

I have been grinding cardamom seeds for granola in the coffee grinder. I take it out to the garage. But I'm usually wearing baby. It does startle him, but also is fascinating to him. We make lots of blended smoothies and run a juicer so I think the kitchen noises have just become a part of life. I was taking it to the garage because dear husband (DH) has been working from home (WFH) and Zooming 24/7.

My new kitchen hack is to break up a task into parts that can be done ~1.5 hours apart. For example: Greek turkey bites. 1) set out ingredients and measuring spoons, cups. Nurse. Nap. 2) chop and combine ingredients. Refrigerate. Nurse, nap. 3) portion out burgers and bake. Nurse. Pull food out of the oven. I can get something made by 2nd lunchtime (i.e. 2pm).

I have also done this with flourless chocolate chip cookies and quinoa broccoli bites. This is a giant leap forward since I have been having a really hard time preparing homemade food. Please share if you have any other tips for cooking with bebe.

Yesterday we started practicing for fall classes (zoom synchronous teaching) by wearing a chest harness and bluetooth ear buds while preparing brownies and a pizza. It was painful to watch back because it was so awkward. I hope if I keep practicing, I will improve.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhakB_ls06nRrcMcPF06uodLjS035nHCE 

When baby wants a diaper change or a feeding he does a really adorable slow blink and flashes a smile like a Gerber baby. He literally bats his eyelashes. I think it's because my husband won't change or feed him until baby gives a smile. It is either so wrong or genius. If the food or diaper change doesn't happen soon after the adorable smiling session, then he'll turn into Chucky and start howling.

Baby is put to bed by my husband at 8pm. I usually stay up til 9:30 or later doing: dishes, laundry, watching videos on my phone, catching up on social media, eating late dinner, buying stuff on Amazon. I hate to admit this but I count the hours throughout the day, praying for the strength to make it to 8pm. One strange thing about motherhood is that no matter how tired or in pain I think I am, I find I have a deep well of strength that kicks in when my baby needs me.

https://www.budgetbytes.com/greek-turkey-burgers/

http://www.picklesnhoney.com/flourless-almond-chocolate-chip-cookies/

https://www.blissfulbasil.com/vegan-cheesy-broccoli-quinoa-bites-with-sriracha-aioli/

Tags: 

adaptability 

(Create new)

affirmations

breastfeeding

cross-training

entertainment

faith 

(Create new)

family

goals

gratitude

learning

love

maternity leave

money

motivation

nutrition

pain

parenthood

positive

postpartum

sleep

survival

teaching

teamwork

technology

Postpartum Part 10: beauty

I thought I totally had my beauty routine down, but as we age, we need to modify. The pregnancy hormones caused me to want to use different products, mostly more moisturizing and heavy. Now that I'm no longer pregnant, I have to find what works now because my face is wrecked. I was craving Pods cold cream. Mother's day weekend let me actually try a modern Ponds blend at my MIL's house. I didn't love it to be honest. I guess I need to try the original formulation.

What I have been doing, at the suggestion of a pal, is to use Xom3 You Can Dew It oil underneath my moisturizer. It seems that postpartum skin issues are common, although something I didn't really think or hear about until I experienced it.

Postpartum Part 7: pandemic

Watching the boy scouts live camp-in, we heard some advice from NASA astronaut Doug Wheelock. He said that this global pandemic is a unique moment in history and a time to write. They also suggested burying a time capsule. We tried to complete a virtual 5k walk/run/hike but I only got 2 miles walking back and forth in our house. I did set up the tent and make s'mores in the toaster oven.

Wildlife report! Fauna: hare, monkey, elephant, lion, bear, mole. Flora: aloe, dracaena, pothos. Candle = campfire. 🔥 #CampIn #ScoutingAtHome pic.twitter.com/ZCJi5GDzz7

— Dr. Kayla A. Kaiser (@hamerk02) May 3, 2020

We can't get Lysol wipes, antibacterial handsoap, alcohol-based hand sanitizer, Chlorox bleach, Dawn dishsoap or Dial bar soap with antibacterial ingredients. The only time I really thought this would be a problem is when I was recovering from my surgery and I was supposed to wash my incision. Our president told people that injecting bleach could combat coronavirus. These are the times we are living in.

I can say no. I will say no. My hope is that I can enjoy the remainder of my maternity leave in peace, regardless of the fact that the country is reopening. My in-laws seem to think that the coronavirus is a hoax, social distancing is unnecessary, masks are a joke and that the country needs to reopen immediately. Already my son's cousin has met up with friends at the beach and had a keg party at his house, so we know they aren't quarantining anymore. They are big fans of Disneyland and I'm sure they'll be among the first to go there when it reopens.

Dear MIL is pushing for us to spend her birthday weekend in Ventura the first weekend in June and possibly take a boat to hike the Channel Islands. While this sounds great in theory, I don't know if I would be able to enjoy it. The next big thing is dear SIL is turning 50 and I am turning 40 in July. I don't want anything. I had seriously forgotten about it until MIL reminded me this weekend. I just want to snuggle with my baby and that's the greatest gift. MIL wants to throw a party for me and SIL, which would mean a big stressful family gathering. Not interested.

I told dear husband that I will be saying no to any and all travel until school starts up again in August. If someone wants to visit with Albert, they are welcome to come here. Traveling was too stressful. I have stated it twice now, and neither time did he repeat back to me what I had said, so I have a feeling that he didn't hear me. I was hoping he would repeat it back to me, but he said that he didn't want to talk about that subject any further so I left it at that.

I think a big struggle is that some people are quarantining hard and other people are less strict. Those who are quarantining hard are bragging about it because it's difficult and requires mindfulness. Those who are more loosely following the guidelines probably don't talk about it. But people who are fearful are getting very bent out of shape when they see someone not wearing a mask. This is leading to violence, which is understandable since people are ferociously protecting their family members, including children.

I use the affirmation "I am healthy, I am safe" and extend that to include my baby and my family. I was very tearful on Friday, leaving my house and seeing the signs on the freeway saying "Avoid gatherings, stay home, beat COVID-19" but knowing that we were taking yet another unnecessary trip to see family.

Postpartum Part 5: links

Here are some of the webpages I had open on the browser of my smartphone. I want to close them now, but they were good for a time and I might want to come back to them later or recommend to someone else.

https://thesehungrykids.com/labor-like-a-pro-how-to-rock-your-labor/

Your support person should be chanting the following words:

• You are amazing.
• You are doing great.
• This is normal.
• You are doing exactly what you need to be doing.
• You are strong.
• Each contraction is one step closer to meeting the baby.
• Rest your body between contractions.
• Here’s a sip of water.
• You were made for this.
• You are incredible.
• You are safe.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/water-breaking/art-20044142

When I talk about my baby's birthday, I struggle to find the words. I want to be accurate, he was ripped out through my abdomen using a scalpel. I have a hard time saying labor and delivery. I can't say a doctor delivered him. I can't say he was born. More like he was removed from me. I didn't have that moment of pushing that you see on the movies. I don't know if this is the scientist in me just wanting to use the most precise and accurate language or the fact that our culture prepares you to have a vaginal birth. I feel like I don't have the words for what happened.

My reddit group had 75/25 vaginal/Cesarean. More than 50% of respondents had a labor of less than 12 hours. I feel robbed of that experience. I am just about recovered from the surgery, but I don't know exactly how to talk about what happened that day.

https://www.scarymommy.com/maternity-leave-advice-wish-id-been-given/

Due to COVID-19 most of this advice does not apply. But maybe it would be good advice under normal circumstances. I am struck lately about how short human lifespan is and how quickly babies grow and I wish I would have had a kid sooner so that I could have more than one and what the heck was I doing with my life until now. I can see how people with kids tell people without kids to go for it.

https://cdphpaymentportal.sutherlandglobal.com/

Yeah, due to a mix-up with my identity at the DMV while upgrading my driver's license to a "Real ID," they thought I had a daughter named Kayla Kayser who was born in 2004. It took a few weeks to get that fixed, but it's all good. I also may or may not have paid for the genetic testing for the state of CA. I mean I know I didn't pay for it, because my OB told me that my insurance should cover it. But as far as I can tell, the debt has not been paid.

https://la.eater.com/2020/4/6/21211278/los-angeles-county-officials-urge-residents-stay-home-skip-shopping

So many things are messed up due to coronavirus. We are just now able to find things that we need, but there's always a risk going out to find it.

https://ollnr.weconnect.com/

8:30am Monday-Saturday

8:30am and 10:30am Sunday

And sometimes we go to church on Zoom. Even though the church is right across the street. I kind of hope they continue broadcasting so that we don't have to bring a crying baby into the building. It's nice to be able to hear the service no matter what kind of mood Albert is in.