Bold and Sassy

Dear Students,

Stop trying to be nice.  "Nice" doesn't ensure you understand the material.  "Polite" means that you don't interrupt the professor when you need more help to understand what we're talking about.  "Gentle" means that you shy away from contributing to the group in discussion.  "Kind" means letting everyone else speak first, and then feeling relieved when the class time is up and you haven't had to say anything.  Being a "good listener" isn't the same as synthesizing your own concept and communicating it to others; one is passive and the other is active.

When I'm tough on you, I expect you to be tough on me right back.  By pushing each other to be better than we were before, we can both improve ourselves.  If we both sit back (at rest) and shrink away from opportunities for personal growth (goal-setting and taking on new challenges) then we run the risk of slipping further into ignorance and decay.

An expert in the field of research on shyness, Bernardo J. Carducci, writes about stereotypes of masculine and feminine traits in his college-level textbook The Psychology of Personality: Viewpoints, Research, and Applications.  I see both men and women in my courses being too shy to "bother" me with questions.  I felt that way many times, too.  When I was a student, I didn't go to the professor's office hours because I knew that professors are "busy" people and I didn't think they had time to help me with my learning.

I have noticed that shyness tends to be more pronounced in women, but it is also associated with cultural norms that are independent of gender.  Carducci explains Social-Cognitive Theory: that identity occurs through the process of a child observing what others are doing, receiving instructions from others regarding what is appropriate behavior, receiving reinforcement when such behavior is performed, and learning to self-regulate the expression of appropriate behavior in order to receive such reinforcement (p. 507).

I say -- TO HELL WITH THAT!  You gotta break the mold.  Rise to the occasion of being evaluated. Stop being "modest" and get focused on ACHIEVEMENT.  Think positively.  Aim high.  Know your worth.  Know that you are capable of achieving anything you seriously and wholeheartedly put your mind to.  Even if nobody you know has done it.  There's a first time for everything.  

Research shows that cultural factors account for gender differences in career advancement, leading to what is called the "paradox of achievement." Although women score higher in verbal ability, most critically acclaimed writers are men.  Those women writers who become well-known are unmarried, childless, and well-to-do... meaning that they focus all their attention on becoming better writers rather than falling prey to societal expectations of motherhood and caregiving. 

As for mathematical ability, males are treated differently in school.  Teachers encourage men's abilities and interest in mathematics.  The same could be said for racial and ethnic groups. Prevailing viewpoints (stereotypes) held by teachers that one group has more or less potential than another is going to hurt the group that is thought of as having less innate ability.  This is unfair.  THERE ARE NO GENDER (OR ETHNIC) DIFFERENCES ON MEASURES OF GENERAL INTELLIGENCE. We all have equal potential.  AND I would add that it's not too late to start changing YOUR behavior right now.  Your future success will be the positive reinforcement you need to continue personal growth in a new direction.

Consider selecting a few traits from the "Masculine" column of Table 12.2 (above).  

• Aggressive
• Competitive
• Decisive
• Independent
• Never gives up
• Nonconforming
• Stands up to pressure
• Tough/Coarse

Try it on for a week.  "ACT AS IF THAT IS YOU" until you master the behavior so that it becomes second nature.  Forget trying to be "nice" and GET CRITICAL. (Braxton, John M. Influences on College Student Learning: Special Issue of Peabody Journal of Education, 2003) You're not going to get happy faces drawn on all your papers, nor should you.  If everything were perfect and you already knew the material, you wouldn't be in a university.  You need to shatter your world-view in order to transform yourself. It's a metamorphosis. The meek and mild earth-bound caterpillar must give way to a fierce and beautiful soaring butterfly.

Sincerely,

Dr. Kaiser

She++ #includewomen

Last night I had the good fortune to attend an event at Pasadena City College aimed at empowering women to pursue STEM careers, specifically computer science. There were a suite of panelists from industry that presented themselves as role models:

Jillian, Lan, Waverly, Dr. Wilkinson, Brandii, and Natalia

• Brandii Grace, game developer
• Jillian Greczek, Ph.D. candidate USC robotics
• Orjeta Taka, IRobot
• Lan Dang, Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), PCC Alum
• Natalia Alonso, CS B.S. (in progress) CSUN, PCC Alum

First, Dr. Paul J. Wilkinson gave a stirring introduction to the program with a quiz covering common misconceptions and little-known facts about women in computer science.  Women are 5 times less likely to pursue STEM.  U of Akron and U of Winnepeg studies show that females hold negative attitudes towards computers.  Some women do not pursue CS because they are afraid to be seen by their peers as outcasts, plain, unfeminine, or nerdy.

Second, Brandii spoke about the reasons why women are not found in CS.  Self-labeling theory is the idea that we (women) allow ourselves to be seen as "less than" by using diminuitive terms for ourselves, such as girls or gals, that keeps us out of the ranks of the "boys club."  No role model theory is that since there are so few female CEOs of tech companies that women don't see opportunity for advancement in that field.  Pretty girl theory is the idea that parents positively reinforce girls, valuing their appearance, while parents positively reinforce boys for their actions.  Differentiated criticism is the idea that boys are allowed to try things and make mistakes that they can learn from whereas girls are taught that when they do something wrong, they should have known better, which prevents them from trying new things.  She has seen this in her experience as a game developer, when girls test a first-person shooter game and they are killed, they put down the game controller and never want to play the game again, whereas boys will try repeatedly to "beat" the situation.

Brandii cited the TV program "Silicon Valley" as a poor example of Hollywood reinforcing the stereotypes of men in programmer roles and women in adversarial or "window dressing" roles.  I have a similar problem with the show "Big Bang Theory."  How about some equality?!  Differentiated learning theory is the idea that men tend to store information in a linear (procedural) fashion where women tend to store information in a story, therefore giving men an advantage in a linear profession such as CS.  She counteracts this theory by arguing that 

ANYBODY CAN LEARN ANY SKILL 

but some people have an easier road due to some innate ability (biology).  Altogether Brandii highlighted many reasons for the lack of women in CS, including also: Hiring Bias Theory, Investor Bias Theory, and Bros-Hire-Bros Theory.  She told us a personal anecdote about her own journey to startup where an investor said to her face "obviously you have no tech experience" because she is an attractive blonde woman who in fact had many years of experience working for Microsoft and other companies.

Third, Jillian gave us an overview of Robotics and described her work with socially assistive robots.  She highlighted the subdisciplines in her field: Machine Learning, Manipulation, Localization & Mapping, Computer Vision, Multirobot Systems, Remote Presence, and Human-Robot Interaction.  She told a personal story about herself as a Type I Diabetic and described how that motivated her to work on robots that could be issued to children as a "buddy" to help them through the first month of their diagnosis.  Her goals are to create robots that would withstand long-term relationships through adaptive programming and socially appropriate (not annoying) charateristics.  She encouraged the students in the audience to get into research through a DREU or REU program, which supports women and minorities specifically.

Fourth, Orjeta gave us a perspective starting in communist Albania and ending in a fulfilling career in Pasadena at iRobot.  She had a love of mathematics, and her mantra or "battle cry" was

IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, WHY NOT?

which means that if you love math, don't hesitate to study it just because you don't see other mathematicians that look like you.  She told students that it's good to pursue your passion and experience it first without letting social roadblocks prevent you from getting into it.  Then once you're in the field, FIGURE IT OUT.  She told us that she loves her job because it's never boring.  Although working in robotics is frustrating sometimes, it feels like she's still in school because she's always learning, except she gets paid a lot.

Warrior

RP-Vita

Orjeta expressed her frustration with the way robots are portrayed in movies because the robots we have today are nowhere near as sophistocated.  With that being said, she told us that there are 100 RP-Vita robots in hospitals today that monitor stroke victims so that doctors can login remotely and monitor patients to decide if a medicine to save their life is needed.  She also told a story about the Warrior robot which was deployed to the Fukushima nuclear disaster and is also used for explosive-disposal work in Iraq and Afghanistan.  She said that sometimes robots come back to the company completely blown up and they throw a party since it means that no human soldiers were killed.  She worked on a Robotic Rodeo and a Self-Driving Car.  When she looked at photos of the event she was the only female in a team of 30, but she said "Just ignore it."

After the presentations had concluded, a panel was available to take questions, which included the three speakers and added two PCC alumna.  Brandii encouraged all CS students to stay up to date with new languages including Ruby on Rails and Objective C.  Natalia told us about her current project CSUNSAT-1 CubeSat: A Collaboration Between NASA, JPL, and CSUN to conduct experiments in space.  Lan told us that FORTRAN language is still preferred by scientists at JPL but they package the code in C afterwards.  The #1 hirer of CS grads is the US government, so jobs being outsourced is not an issue.  Natalia shared her experience of teamwork: if the problem is challenging enough, the team will rely on the strengths of every team member regardless of gender.  To break down stereotypes, make yourself available to the team and they will see your skills.

MINORITY DOES NOT MEAN NOT VALUABLE

Brandii concluded the panel discussion by reiterating the importance of networking.  There are many avenues, Women In Tech and ACM-W, and it is important to inform your network when you are looking for a job.  Rely on networks, they will be with you forever!

The event was well put-together and I found my way there by following the balloons.  Grace and the CS club did a great job and I even got a T-Shirt that I wore proudly riding up and over Colorado Blvd to my study jam today.  I got to catch up with my friend Paul at CalTech, which was great.  I hope events like this can inspire more events like this and we can form a web of women to catch more of the talent that is currently being underutilized.

Notorius RBG

"We do not have a proud track record of flattering female ambition or strength. Short a handful of super-heroines—Wonder Woman, and some characters usually most effectively embodied by Angelina Jolie—we have rarely been able to put a positive spin on the kinds of women who present an intellectual, economic, professional, or political threat to entrenched male power. Throughout history, we have acknowledged male strength, especially in its seniority, as serious and authoritative. Older women, on the other hand, have existed mostly as nanas, bubbes! Those sturdy, ambitious souls who also staked claims to public eminence were cast as problematic; tough ladies who no longer slide easily into Lycra are ball-busters, nut-crackers, and bitches." ~ Rebecca Traister

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118641/ruth-bader-ginsburg-memes-how-internet-fell-love-her

And I love this video...law students and female MCs.  A rare and refreshing combination!  If you don't know, now you know.

value

I've been thinking about value lately.  I've said this before, but I'll remind myself again, when a word gets stuck in your head, you better get it thought through, because it might be the universe trying to tell you something.  Or the universe that is your grey matter.

First, I think of values (political) such as whether people "value human life" or not.  I mean, who doesn't at least value their own life.  When I think of my own health, which I take for granted, I realize that many of us do not make daily choices that lead to a state of optimum health.  Others do.  A recent trip to Las Vegas cemented these opposing values in my mind as part of the fabric of American culture.

Then, I think of value (bargain, price) which we may have had at Circus Circus.  I enjoyed the theatrical escape of being geographically distant from my house, which seemed much less cluttered when we returned than when we left.  Something about staying in a dirty, crowded, noisy hotel makes you enjoy the peace and quiet of your own home when you return to it, exhausted.  I went totally WifeBOT5.0 on the house with the remaining glycogen in my system from the crystallized ginger and added some boiled turnips and barley/lentils for good measure.

Also, I think of value (of a color based on its reflectivity).  I like highly reflective colors!  Especially for biking and cycling.  Think of them as photon friendly.  High value is like canary yellow or cyan (#00FFFF). Low value is like a king's red or navy blue.  I still haven't gotten to my craft project of adding reflectors to a couple of pairs of pants and a jacket using iron-on double stick batting and fluorescent orange ribbon coated with retroreflective tape.  I have one running outfit, but I want a few things for urban night-cycling.  Wolfpack Hustle, this summer I am riding (at least once) with you.  Found my stack of blank canvases so a flock of birds I hope to paint.  I've been watching you carefully this spring my feathered friends.

Finally, I'm thinking about eVALUEations.  It's the end of the semester and naturally I am evaluating my students while they are evaluating me.  We each give each other a certain number of points, and then I give them a letter grade, they submit teaching evaluations (both electronically and on paper).  If my garden were to evaluate me, it would give me an F.  The value on the thermometer was above 100 deg F yesterday, which means it's time for the dogs to get their summer haircuts.  At the shop they ask you, what value?  Meaning how short of a razor guide to use.

Value is everywhere in my life these days, but I am in a big moment right now.  Finishing up at Claremont and heading into a summer of new experience!  Grades are due in a week.  We had our first research meeting yesterday, so it felt great to show how much progress we've made this past semester.  Publication-quality figures!!!  I feel like my neighbors are valuing (or evaluating) the educational garden in the front yard.  We have our first ripe tomatoes and cayenne peppers (thanks to this heat wave) and there are seeds forming on many of the native and cultivated plants.  These are a few of my values: plants and chemical education.

Yeah, and it's BIKE WEEK in LA.  Amgen Tour de California is happening!  You can take your bike onto any bus for free.  There are bike lanes spontaneously popping up around town this week and weekend.  I value my carbon bike, it was costly.  I value the Reve Tour and they gave me a free subscription to a magazine so I can read stories other writers write and other photographers photograph about a lifestyle I wish I had more time for.  But I guess that is what tells us about our values.  What you spend your time doing must be what you value, or as Tony Robbins would say: "You're out of alignment, and that's why you're not happy."  It's almost time to align myself with a showerhead, but at least the thoughts about value are out of my head and down here (not on paper), or should I say: up in the cloud?  Maybe later today I can align myself with my bicycle around Claremont or otherwheres.

Verdugo Mtns 10K ~ Race Report

This race was awesome, particularly the weather that day was stunning and perfect.  We had cool winds, cloudcover, sprinkles, and just as we were finishing up, it was warm again.  The steep change in altitude throughout this course has you discovering layers of wildflowers and canyons overlooking Hollywood and Los Angeles.  I think my knees are almost recovered.

The officials said we did it in 2 hours 16 minutes, which is crazy by the way, since we have not been training to do such a thing.  If we hadn't have been part of that event, which we did it one time, our time was more like 2 hours 39 minutes (on May 28, 2012), so I guess we rested a bit more when we weren't compelled by photographers and volunteers along the way to "keep going!"  There were water stations at every mile and cyclists in yellow jerseys throughout the course with MTB on standby for emergencies and to remind us to "keep to the right" as runners who had already turned around were flying down the rock face.

The fastest man, Kwin Keuter of Los Angeles, 24 years old, managed to go up and back in 40 minutes.  The fastest woman Lliana Hernandez, 25 years old, of Glendale, placed 28th overall. She was only 10 minutes behind the fastest man, finishing in about 50 minutes.  It was so fun to read about her coaching story in the Glendale News-Press and seeing her "sweep by" us a full 2 minutes ahead of the next woman Emily Farr of La Crescenta, age 29, who placed 34th overall.  As for us, or me, I was number 622 out of 653 racers, that's among the slowest 5%.  Out of 54 women who ran in my age group, I was the second-to-slowest, among the slowest 2%.  But hey, finishing is finishing and by golly we did it!

work/life balance

I've been wanting to write about this for awhile now (since Apr 2nd at least) and since I'm shooting for 10,000 pageviews, I want to get one more post in for April. So here goes, work/life balance...

I've had the [Illustration by Hallie Bateman for Pandodaily] stuck in my mind ever since I first saw it (pun intended).

woman-in-half

Then when an opportunity to speak with the filmmaker of "Lost in Living" at a screening on CMC campus, I knew I had to make time to go.  Also the event was being hosted by CMC Prof. Audrey Bilger and every single event she plans is good.  What an amazing role model.

I cried.  At the end.  I didn't want their stories to end.  I wonder if Mary Trunk felt that way, too.  I have to thank her and the artists who star in this reality-show glamazon escape film.  We see gorgeous artists in full bloom, soaring through the story while doubting themselves along the way.  It was so powerful to see friendships and generations evolve over the course of 2 hours.  Did I mention I love time-lapse photography?

Also, I got a copy of the DVD and I would be happy to have a screening.  Call me, maybe?  Our house is such a mess right now, I think dear husband is completely incapable of making progress towards helping with it. For me, I'm imagining what Henry Ford would have said: "Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs."

I'm not a mom, but I'm definitely a woman who struggles with the daily grind of balancing creative time and housework. I'm losing the battle on the home front, but potentially winning it on the outside. But maybe that's what all women feel like. When I read my cards, the image that I saw was King of Swords, an unstoppable force of nature. That's how other people see me, but I wouldn't even describe myself like that.

All the moms in the film judge themselves and their decisions, but all are creatively established to the point that they can handle rejection and even continue to work productively (and successfully) while raising children.  Nothing could have inspired me more to continue writing, even if I do not have a clear picture of my audience.  Let's continue this conversation...

Ceiling Tuesdays

FINALLY I did an awe-inspiring Tuesday ride.  I brushed the cobwebs off this beauty, which I am christening "The Iron Lady" in honor of our recently departed chemist-pioneering woman Margaret Thatcher (R.I.P.).

I've had this bike since I became a woman, in the biological sense.  I was reading something about how you know you are a woman, by when you hear men cat-calling you!  Well I did get one persistent cat-caller on this ride, but one in 34 miles isn't bad.  And I was wearing my tennis-ball boob bra (see VS) and this is an idea for a future blog post: I have names for all my bras that relate to their origin and our history together.  Despite the latest buzz about whether or not to wear a bra, sometimes I enjoy it.  Other times, like on the weekends, I like to go without.  Just like I enjoy a day without a car, I enjoy a day without a bra, too!

It's amazing for the first time I did lots of things. That's why I've been so exhausted! Sometimes you have to write to realize things about yourself. See also Why grad schools should require students to blog. I rode over to Pasadena City College to check it out. I also wanted to see if it would be possible to ride my bike there on a regular basis if I can get hired there.  I still also have to write about my amazing times in Marin county.  But first: the Pasadena City College ride...



Getting through Glendale isn't bad, if you are totally aware of your surroundings and hustle through streets like you are a car.  Verdugo has good bike signage, but you have to watch for shadows and parked cars.  Also there is a school zone.  Eagle Rock is always interesting.  York is colorful and smells delicious.  I'd hate to get a flat there though, the sidewalks are quite busy.  Arroyo is amazing, and I stopped at the park there twice to refill my water bottles and have a snack.  Climbing out of the canyon wasn't as bad as I imagined, but I had to get out of my saddle a few times.  Pasadena is achingly beautiful and I enjoyed the shade of its mature trees to take a phone call.

It was hard to find a way in to CalTech's campus.  Once in, I overheard guys giving each other a hard time about eating and not being "in lab."  All too familiar.  Once I crossed Hill St into PCC, the atmosphere was pretty different.  I dismounted my bike as I entered campus but rode through on "scooter mode" until I found a bicycle rack.  I thought I might find a place to sit and grade midterms, but instead I was starving so I walked over to Bittersweet Treats for some Banana and Strawberry ice cream and a "Trail Mix" cookie.  I stashed the cookie in my backpack and ate the ice cream as I walked back to my bike.

Writers have to find inspiration.  These types of rides are mind-numbing and mind-expanding at the same time.  It allows you to get the "lay of the land" both internally and externally.  Ride on!
Again: Too many labels to post: career, ceiling tuesdays, community, cycling, distance, education, fall, goals, green, love, Map My Ride, motivation, nutrition, pain, picnic, positive, riverside bicycle club, San Francisco, science, spandex, spring, vintage, weight loss, winning, winter, writing

Seduction

The chemistry of seduction is an elaborate molecular dance.  I was driving to school the other day thinking about how I was seduced by the whole idea of being a working, participating scientist.  The image came into my mind about being female, being seduced, being the object, being the target, reining in the sexuality, dominating the competition, overcoming skeptics, and always going back to Eve and that tree of knowledge.

Why does sister sound like sinister?  I went to a workshop in NoHo and there was no hate to be found there.  We exorcised it...gave it a break...broke the chains...freed our hearts...Rather than the typical battles, we just showed up and gave each other our support. What if all of life was like that?

According to about.com "abilities in subjects such as math are actually strongest when both halves of the brain work together." Therefore, engaging in dance (study of music), color, recognizing faces, expressing emotions, reading emotions, following one's intuition, and producing creative work is necessary to keep the brain of a person who regularly exercises logic, critical thinking, numbers, reasoning, and language healthy and connected.

Also, thinking about body language.  My friend is starting an acting class, the first topic of which was body language.  In a classroom, I bring a set of body language to the environment.  So far, I have had the desks in my classroom in clusters of 4, split in half by a diagonal, facing front, facing side.  We're getting to know each other, the students and I.  There is a "reading assignment" and "lecture topics" list posted now for each class meeting.  I really enjoyed the Rock with H.E.R. workshop because it gave me a bunch of confidence, and a set of body postures to match.

Also thinking about didgeridoo.  We attended a public lecture about sleep apnea given by USC Medical School.  The last seminar of a 4-seminar program was about how playing the didgeridoo could improve the quality of life for sufferers of sleep apnea.  The link to an article in the British Medical Journal is here.  I was driving in my car and heard Jamiroquai Synkronized and started jamming with Wallace Buchannan on the digderidoo.  Talk about rhythms and vibe.  I don't think we'll buy one, but maybe tapping into the Hu could work with or without the instrument.

Speaking of cycling news, in the course of biking to school twice I busted my shank.  So I guess that means it's time for new shoes.  But that's two days of not driving and two days of biking a moderate distance.  It was scary the first day and less scary the second day.  I don't know what I'll do this Tuesday because I fear at any moment my shoe will disconnect itself, leaving the bottom half clipped to the pedal and the top half flapping in the breeze.

Consider the Alternative

For every consumer choice, there is an alternative "greener" choice.  I have been wanting to write this post for months (at least since September 2012) when I thought I would title the post "A House Divided" because of how my household voted in the election.  But not only that, we have different choices in terms of household goods (soaps) and sources of nutrition (food) and whether or not it is worth sorting out the recycling.  In our house, marriage means compromise and I am so happy to be using a composter and driving a Smart car that I can only do so much for the environment.

Finally riding the Fuji again

But regardless, here are a couple things I/we do to be "greener":

(1) Natural soaps in the bath for hands, face, hair, body = CT Organics

(2) Natural soaps at the sink for hands, dishes = CT Organics, Seventh Generation

(3) Natural soaps as cleaners for tile, tubs, toilets = Pine Sol, Baking Soda

(4) Natural soaps as cleaners for bicycles, countertops = Simple Green

I am attempting to battle against the alternatives:

(1) Bar soaps, body washes, shampoo, conditioner = detergents

(2) Antibacterial hand soaps = detergents

(3) Chemical cleansing = Formula 409, bleach, Comet

(4) Chemical cleansing = Windex

Buying eco-friendly cleaners

You might ask why I would crusade against these alternatives to "greener" choices... I have some sense that the synthetic molecules will eventually build up in the environment.  I worry that our rate of manufacturing, use, and excretion of detergent into the environment far exceeds the rate of its fate in the environment.  I imagine that these molecules persist in the order of 10,000 years, but maybe I'm wrong and I've been meaning to do some more reading on the subject.  Maybe during 2013 sometime.

Another thing I'm doing to be "greener":

(1) Buying local = farmer's markets, homemaking, friends/neighbors exchange, walking to downtown

(2) Living local = "day without a car" at least one day per week

(3) Commuting socially = Metrolink

(4) Commuting sustainably = Bicycle

Taking the train

I am attempting to battle against the alternatives:

(1) Buying supermarket = food out of season, trucked 10,000 miles, swollen for market

(2) Gasoline addiction = cars are status symbols and lifestyles are unrealistic for our children's children

(3) Commuting solo = lonely, stubborn, type-A

(4) Gasoline addiction = cyclists are not esteemed in our culture, safe cycling should be a respectable option!

I feel like I live in a bowl of mixed nuts.  I want all the nuts to taste well together but not every flavor is to every guest's palate.  I'm meeting lots of new people these days with classes starting up again.  It's fun.  Regardless of that I feel like a hypocrite up in front of a classroom of young idealistic people preaching about carbon dioxide emissions while driving on the freeway 80 minutes per day.

Color Run ~ Race Report

If you have never done a Color Run, I can definitely recommend it.  The one I attended was EPIC.  There were 22,000 people traveling in cooperation, all wearing white.  There were hundreds of volunteers in goggles baptizing us in all the colors of the rainbow.  Then at the end everyone huddles together and sprays their color packet into the air and cheers!  There's no timing and no winning.  It's organized in waves.

The course I ran with my friend went around Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.  We went halfway around the stadium and then came back the same way we ran, since we started in the second wave, we saw the first man and first woman, running just as fast as they pleased!  There was a drumline from the YMCA that made me totally cry.  It reminded me of so many old high school memories, when life was simpler and all I needed was a beat and space to dance with my friends!

Life has been more than hectic lately.  The job search is moving forward.  I took my Nano Fashion Show on the road down to San Diego to carry out a mission of outreach and celebrating chemistry!  I stayed at the historic Sofia Hotel, a Neo Gothic architectural gem built in 1926 and operated during prohibition as the Pickwick Hotel.  En suite bathroom!  Very nice staff.  I was driving our 2003 Honda Civic which we fondly refer to as "the battlecat" and the valet guys were doing rock/paper/scissors for who would have to park it.

Monday, August 13, 2012, 7:28:56 PM

I missed the colors down there, there's a reason it's called The Jewel (La Jolla).  We had a great LOOOOOOOONG walk along the coast.  It's so soothing, we sat down on a bench and watched the waves come in for a long time.  Very restorative.  I've always loved the multiculturalism reflected there.  We walked about 3.5 miles after having run 3.2 miles.  That's what I love about San Diego, it supports outdoor activities.  Don't worry I was wearing sunscreen!

Back here in Glendale, not much is going on.  My squash is still flowering in the backyard but my front garden is suffering, with the exception of the succulent clones from Riverside.  And the spider plants.  I had intended to plant radish, chard, and more squash.  The pots are ready but the weather has been so crazy lately.  Dear husband bought me a Farmer's Almanac so perhaps I will find answers to life's persistent questions there.  Kind of like a CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics for gardeners.

The corn at my Student Garden is almost as tall as me!  You can see it in parts of this video.  An article is also here.  I have really been letting my colors fly lately in creative and scholarly activity.  Preparing a lab "Wish List" is so exciting, I had no idea this big step in my life would come so soon.  It's funny when you are young it seems your future can't come fast enough.  Then when life hits you with a big step, it seems like I'm unprepared for the magnitude of it.

Carbs, Calcium, Cortisol, oh my!

What is going on? I feel like crap. I don't even want to exercise. I am once again mildly overweight. I cannot seem to keep myself at a healthy BMI.

I feel like my metabolism has dropped off the radar. Either I'm not eating enough, not sleeping enough, or I am too stressed. http://caloriecount.about.com/tools has revealed that I am consistently eating ~1200 cals per day. This is enough to support a sedentary lifestyle, which I am living now with the exception of 150 min per week of cardio (my bicycle commute). I am showing a deviation from the recommended daily allowance (RDA) of calcium (unless I eat yogurt and have a glass of milk in the same day), iron (unless I eat 8 oz. greens), and potassium (no matter what). Maybe I'm just depleated and that makes me tired and that makes me lazy and that makes me fat! I had to get out a different set of pants for teaching because I have definitely increased in size.

My training buddy told me to force my body to eat fats and it would in turn start to burn fats because it would get used to using fat as an energy source. Also hills! I'll let you know how it goes. From mapmyride.com I can see that in early/mid 2010, I was spending more time cross training with biking and running (40-60% of workout calories in a month were burned in runs). From September on (when I started creeping up in weight), even though I was burning the same number of calories per month, I was not cross-training as much. Instead of being balanced in my workouts, I was burning 80-90% of monthly calories (4000-6000) on biking and 5% on running. So running it is. And eating like a runner too.

Perfect Biking Weather

I’ve been riding my new bike a lot. Mom and dad gave me the money to buy a new bicycle, so I bought the fastest one I could afford (plus their help). I went into my local bike shop and the owner (who is a competitive cyclist and known for being a bike fit expert) asked me the following question, “What is it you really want in your new bike?” He stared at me and looked deep into my eyes. I felt like he penetrated deep into my heart and mind. He waited the agonizing seconds for me to formulate a thought. I couldn’t help myself, I said “I want to be AS FAST AS THE BOYS.”

Funny how I’ve always wanted to play with the boys. I’m obviously a girl but as a child I can always remember wanting to chase after boys, play with their toys and hear their stories. Anyway, I went to Anthony's Cyclery because a friend of mine (a boy that I ride with on Tuesday nights, we do nothing but hills and we call it Ceiling Tuesdays) said the UCR Triathalon Club gets their bikes there and that Anthony would take me seriously. It’s funny, the bike ended up costing me $1600, half of which I consider a gift from Mom & Dad. **THANKS!** My parents have always supported me, generously giving me the tools and instruction and freedom and encouragement to achieve anything I wanted in life. I am so lucky.

The other $800 I consider a gift from my husband, Mike. Because some people probably want diamond rings from their husbands, but not me. I love my wedding ring because of what it symbolizes but that’s all the diamonds I need. I consider this bike my 1 year anniversary gift because I got it right around that time. To respect his investment, I’ve been riding as much as I can (4+ days a week) for as many miles as I can do (10-40 miles per ride) as fast as I can (12-18 mph depending on who I’m riding with). Again, I am so lucky to have a husband who is supportive of my hobbies and is interested in promoting my health to the utmost.

The weather here has been really enjoyable lately. We’re getting cloudcover in the mornings, which is gone by noon. This keeps the morning/evenings cool and the afternoons are pleasantly warm and bright. We also have nice sunsets, mostly from all the pollution in the air, but it’s still pretty to me. Great biking weather!

The Ceiling is Getting Higher

Last night's ride was faster than ever. I was able to use higher gears for a quicker pace throughout the ride and when it was over, I was sorry it hadn't gone longer. That's what happens on weekday rides starting after 9pm I guess.

We ascended 1000 feet throughout our 12 1/2 mile journey. I must admit that I was thinking of my grandfather, who passed away last week. I was thinking about clinging to life while I still have the time to live it, rather than letting it slip away without doing anything meaningful.