26 week check in

I finally feel like my core is starting to be less like jello and more like a washboard. I've been doing exercises to address diastasis recti for 2 months now. It's working slowly but surely.

Albert had his 6 month pediatrician appointment. He passed all his milestones. Sat up well. We got samples of vitamin D drops for him so we're starting to add that to his iron-fortified rice cereal that he has for breakfast. He had a solid poop yesterday and it freaked me out.

Last weekend he started babbling mama-mama and it made my heart sink down into my foot. My baby seems like he's starting to acquire language and it seems so soon. 

Balancing work and parenting is really stressful. I want to be with Albert all the time, to meet his needs and enjoy spending time with him. I also want to meet my students' needs, to be competent at my job and create a safe space (virtually) where we can be together, be vulnerable, exchange ideas, grow in knowledge, and build community. This is a very big ask! 

My dear husband says it's a challenge to be successful at all three of the tasks listed below:

1) deliver quality content

2) answer students' questions

3) monitor students' attention

He said simply, "pick two."

My Fit4Mom gal pals asked just yesterday whether I have a tech TA to assist and the answer is that I was offered one but I didn't realize I would need it until now. Too late.

22 week check in

Briefly, things are going well. Albert is long and strong. He is 28.5 inches tall, which puts him in the 99th percentile for length. He is average weight (around 50th percentile) and still has a big head (90th percentile) that is mostly round now.

I had a revelation that "my weight gain is partly Albert and his weight gain is partly me." This has helped me be more at peace with my post-baby body. I also still use the affirmation "my baby is healthy, my baby is safe" which helps me navigate this pandemic.

He is waking 4-6 times at night to eat. I have grown to understand that I am an attachment parent. Back-to-school is going to be difficult since I have been attached to Albert for 5 months, 8 if you count my third trimester where I was working from home.

I picked up my copy of Cribsheet today. I had a bookmark stuck in it. Apparently I had read the chapters on coming home from the hospital, breastfeeding, safe sleep, naps, vaccinations, work-life balance, and day care. I had stopped at sleep training. When I picked it up, I knew it was time for the topic. 

Also the bookmark I had put there was my instructions from the chiropractor about the time required to heal from a C-section and I also needed to be reminded that I should do no crunches until Albert is 1 year old. Also that it will take 6-9 months after I stop breastfeeding for the relaxin to leave my body. 

My dear sister said that I should give it one year plus 5 months, at least that is the advice she gives her athletes.

What I wanted to discuss today is how we are rearranging the house to accommodate zoom spaces and Albert's new toys and the pack and play now that it is no longer a changing table.

Actual Places to put Baby

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-GGD48-Sit-Me-Up-Floor-Seat/dp/B07FG5XQ49/

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Infant-to-Toddler-Rocker-Geo-Diamonds/dp/B014D4HHQI/

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Me-Playard-Mattress-White/dp/B004JU0H6O/
+ associated mattress cover and sheets

https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Secure-Waterproof-Diaper-Changing/dp/B00O64QJOC/
+ associated sheet covers

Toys & Stuff to do with Baby

https://www.amazon.com/Little-Tikes-Splash-Water-Table/dp/B00QGSMK8K/

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Me-Playard-Mattress-White/dp/B004JU0H6O/
+ associated mattress cover and sheets

http://annesoddsandends.blogspot.com/2013/04/fisher-price-friday-milk-carrier.html

Nursery

Quilt gallery

The theme of our nursery isn't something I intentionally chose. What happened was that my MIL gave us a few quilts that were sewn for our nephews (her grandchildren). I washed them before Albert was born but then just set them aside for awhile. It didn't seem right to let him play on something that was almost 20 years old. 

I also have a quilt that is 40 years old that my mom sewed for me before I was born. And I have a quilt that I made for my baby. There is also quilted pillows and a cushion for the window seat that I quilted out of old jeans about 3 years ago. There is a graduation quilt that people signed when I finished my undergrad in 2002, so 18 years ago.

The furniture that ended up being SUPER useful was the changing table and the glider. Albert isn't really at the point where he sleeps well in his crib, but I am confident we'll get there eventually. The gliding footrest is EVERYTHING. We didn't use the bassinet for long, instead we put Albert into a cosleeper. The most clutch feature of the cosleeper was the vibrating clip-on heart. We also use a separate white noise machine. We do have a baby-cam setup, but since he co-sleeps we don't realy use it unless he goes to bed and we stay up late, or vice versa, he sleeps in and we get up early.

Back to School COVID edition

In a normal back-to-school frenzy, I would be stressing about my teaching assignment and preparing documents like syllabi. I also have a tendency to stress about all the things I put on my summer to-do list that I didn't finish.

This year I have a baby AND there's a raging epidemic in our country. How that changes things is that my department has posted the teaching schedule about a month earlier than usual. This is great because I can start working on my Canvas sites weeks before classes start rather than days. This is particularly great with my baby because I have to work in small (~15 minute) chunks rather than in marathon sessions like I used to.

Due to COVID, my students will only meet me via Zoom. I will have to go to campus for my lab, which meets from 5:30-8:20pm on Tuesday and Thursday. I will be teaching CHEM 100 lectures (introductory chemistry) from home on Monday and Wednesday from 4:30-5:45pm. I will be teaching SCIENCE 100 lectures (Freshman Seminar) from home on Tuesday and Thursday from 2:00-3:15pm.

I have been using Zoom all spring and summer with my family and mom fitness group. I feel confident that I will be able to run the class. Here are some recommendations that were compiled by exit interviews with ~350 students.

1. Discuss class norms on day one

2. Email students regularly

3. Send motivational messages via Canvas Insights

4. Use images or videos on slides instead of text

5. Give a 5-10 minute break in a 75 minute class

6. Make Zoom link easy to find on Canvas homepage

7. Have Canvas page populate gradually. Seeing the whole semesters content is too overwhelming 

8. Use the whiteboard feature to show problem solving

9. Use polling for student engagement but do not use too many different softwares

10. Consider Zoom breakout rooms and Google docs for groupwork

11. Record and post class meetings

12. Be flexible with exam times

13. Consider "Remind" app for students to communicate with each other outside of class

14. Build in social-emotional support. Let them talk off-topic in breakout room for a few minutes before diving into material. Tell jokes and give motivational pep talks. 

Yes, I could have cut and pasted these, but I wanted to type them out and paraphrase in hopes that the message would penetrate my brain more deeply and permanently.

Clifton Strengths

I took the CliftonStrengths assessment and out of 34 possible strengths, I got a coaching session based on my top 5.

Achiever

Activator

Significance

Strategic

Woo

Achiever is under the broad category of Executing. People exceptionally talented in the Achiever theme work hard and possess a great deal of stamina. They take immense satisfaction in being busy and productive. I like making lists and getting things done. I can persevere in tasks even if they require a great deal of focus and time.

I have 3 strengths in the influencing theme: Activator, Significance, and Woo. Activators make things happen by turning thoughts into action. In a group, I tend to "zone out" when people are talking about ideas but then "lean in" when they get to the action part. I contribute ideas for what to do when a group has identified a cause or issue that they want to pursue.

The Significance strength is found in people who want to make a big impact. They are independent and prioritize projects based on how much influence they will have on their organization or people around them. I use my status to help bring attention to issues effecting my community. My title and previous awards can bring more resources to my organization.

People exceptionally talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with someone. Woo is also an acronym for "winning over others." Wooers tend to have lots of contacts who they know at a superficial level. I realized later in life that I can hold back in social situations because I am too concerned about whether people will like me.

Strategic falls under the theme of strategic thinking. People exceptionally talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues. This is a skill I acquired later in life by taking adventures in Los Angeles without a car. Learning to be flexible in travel plans has taught me to be flexible in other areas of my life.

One concern I had is that these strengths are what I cultivated in my professional life and helped advance my career. I don't know whether they will help me be a better parent. Maybe becoming a mom will shift my strengths from these top 5 to a new set. My friend encouraged me to take the assessment again thinking only about momming. I just don't feel like I have my mom identity just yet. She said it's early days yet, like halfway through freshman year. There's still time to find myself in this new role.

gender is a construct

Women vs men is irrelevant. Now I would divide humans into "has carried a baby in their body" and "has not." Does this make me a TERF? TERF stands for “trans exclusionary radical feminist.” I think J.K.Rowling was turned down a lot with young children in tow, she was also the victim of sexual and domestic abuse, which has led to her becoming an aggressive biological essentialist.

My friend who is a stepparent said that if you truly accept your parental role, stepkids can pierce your heart as deeply as babies you have carried in your body. I can't speak from personal experience on this topic, but I trust her. The Netflix documentary "Babies" has an episode on changes to the parent's brain. If there is a heterosexual couple, generally the mom's brain is the one that changes. If there is a homosexual couple, one partner's brain will change. I can say that I know my son has irreversibly changed me.

http://www.thecourieronline.co.uk/a-thorough-analysis-of-jk-rowlings-bigotry/

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/pkeynz/jk-rowlings-transphobia-wasnt-hard-to-find-she-wrote-a-book-about-it

https://www.vogue.com/article/jk-rowling-transphobic-tweets-harry-potter-franchise

Becoming Nicole

https://variety.com/2020/tv/news/jk-rowling-trans-tweets-nicole-maines-supergirl-harry-potter-1234632167/ 

Professor Ruth Feldman

https://ruthfeldmanlab.com/people/

Baby blankets

Sometimes you get gifts, especially if you are a first-time parent, and you don't know what they are or what purpose they might serve. Sometimes if a product is new, the packaging will give you ideas about how to use the item. But if it is a used or hand-me-down item it may not be in its original packaging. It can make you feel like you don't know what you're doing, like you aren't ready for your baby. I didn't know the difference between receiving, muslin and swaddle blankets. 

I did a little research about swaddling before my baby was born and ended up making two swaddle blankets out of an old flat bed sheet that measure 48 x 48 in. Typical dimensions for a swaddle blanket are 47 x 47 in. My baby didn't like being swaddled, so I didn't get a lot of use out of these. A swaddle blanket can be stretchy. I have one that I like made of muslin cotton that is thin and breathable, as well as stretchy.

A recieving blanket measures 30 x 30 in. It is smaller because it is used to swaddle a newborn baby. I definitely ended up with one of these from the hospital because I didn't have the proper baby clothes to bring baby home from the hospital. I had just a onesie with no pants or socks and it was cold and windy. Oops!

People gave us a bunch of rectangular blankets of thicker flanel recieving blankets. Dimensions of 28 x 34 in.

Uses:

Covering the changing table

Layer between your body and baby while babywearing

We got a bunch of thick polyester fleece blankets, square in size. Some had an animal attached. At 4 months my baby actually likes these, one in particular with an elephant head. He cuddles it (with his mouth) while he's in his swing. At first I was resentful at these gifts because babies are not supposed to have toys or blankets in their sleeping area until they are 2 or 3 years old. But when awake, the younger baby can still appreciate such warm and fuzzy blankets.