spa time

At what point are you an enabler because you can't stand conflict? Do you allow your partner to want for nothing at your expense? Do you cancel your own free time to pick up the slack around the house? How would your life be different if you weren't running on constant burnout? What if your body battery was charged to 80% or 100% instead of hovering around 5%? What would it feel like to put your own rest and recovery as the family's #1 priority? Welcome to spa time!

I've had a great time showing my boy what spa time means to me. We do a nice, relaxing foot bath, followed by compression boots, and then a moisturizing leg and foot massage. Sometimes we take a relaxing bath, which involves bubble bath, aromatherapy, epsom salt, soothing music, or ocean sounds, and low light.

• Epsom Salt (3 lbs) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BXTS6L35 $3
• Glo Pals Bath Cube Lights https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BG793KCV $27
• Colorful Bath Bombs https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08149KZ68 $7
• Compression Boots https://www.costco.com/p/-/sharper-image-air-compression-boots-flex-leg-recovery-system/4000392515 $159
• Sea Dreams Soother https://www.target.com/p/baby-einstein-sea-dreams-soother-musical-crib-toy-and-sound-machine/-/A-94691831 $36
• Aroma Diffuser https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FRSYBY56 $30
• Flameless Candles https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B8NBFZTY $10
• Princess Tumbler Set https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08BZCPD9W $18
• Star Projector / Sound Machine https://www.kids2.com/products/6940-000-swaddleme-slumber-buddies-elephant $30
• See more about our aromatherapy oils https://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2024/01/mom-rage.html 

These I gave away because I didn't like the musk smell

• Polynesian: sun-lit palms, calypso citrus, wild hibiscus, teakwood, island fruit, warm musk, and white sands
• Sea Salt + H2O: sea salt, water, lotus, wild rose, sea moss, warm musk, teakwood
• Orleans Resort: jasmine, violet, gardenia, lemon zest, dry down of vanilla

I've been incorporating more Naughty Girl fitness into my training program. I did yoga twice in the last week, and it's been nice. I feel like my body has been crying out for escape, spending money, travel, and distraction. So in response, I've been doing things to calm my nerves. Sometimes it's not about running away from your problems; it's about doing something right here at home to take care of yourself so that your problems don't seem so bad. On Mar 30, I wrote, "Running is just one part of a balanced diet. Other types of movement are good too."

I planned three dance-related events:

• Thursday, Apr 30, Party Like a Mother, Woodland Hills
• Saturday, May 2, Naughty Girl IRL, Burbank
• Saturday, May 9, Dance your way to health, Tarzana

I guess I didn't post much in late March or early April. It shows how underwater I have been feeling. I was kind of drowning. I got sick right after the marathon, and I haven't been 100% well since. Yes, my wounds have healed, but I've had a runny nose that hasn't stopped. Like when I run, I'm blowing my nose all the time. Snot rockets! Maybe that's why I am craving spa time and self-care activities now. And we're heading into Month of Mama 2026.

Finally, I can share that I've been planning and hosting a series of events for professors on using AI productively in ways that positively impact students. So far, I have completed 6 out of 8. It is taking up all of my free time and then some. On Mar 31, I wrote, "I have not worked this hard in 10 years. I haven't felt this stressed about money in 10 years. AND I haven't felt this happy and satisfied with my family life and household members in 10 years." So it's been a weird school year. To feel like I am working my fingers to the bone, yet have so little spending power, and feel so happy being a mom.

• Feb 9 - Study Skills - 0 attendees
• Feb 23 - Letters of Recommendation - 2 attendees
• Mar 9 - Active Learning - 5 attendees
• Mar 23 - Accessibility - 3 attendees
• Mar 30 - Anonymous Feedback - 3 attendees
• Apr 6 - Transparent Assignments - 2 attendees
• Apr 20 - Early Alerts
• May 4 - Student AI Panel

It's been wild planning this workshop series for the College of Science and Math. It's an interdisciplinary audience, to a certain extent, within a narrow window. I'm not sure whether the topics have resonated with the departments I'm trying to serve. I'm not sure these slides will be reusable learning objects. I know I have two participants with three-peat attendance. The content was worthwhile enough to bring them back again. I've been working nights and weekends to create it. And there hasn't been one female attendee yet.

Cloth diapering

How to get started? How many cloth diapers do you need? What are some laundry issues that you may encounter? What type of fabric is used in cloth diapers? How soon should I be getting all this stuff?

For tiny baby, we've been cloth diapering since 3 weeks old. We used 28 flour sack towels (FSTs) with 2 polyester/polyurethane laminate PUL covers and 2 snappi fasteners. I loved this as a supplement to the 8 all-in-one BumGenius size 1 we had. It was possible to do laundry every other day. 

double FST with Snappi in kite fold

Thirsties Cover (Size 2, 9-36 months, 18-40 lbs)

The FSTs were folded in a newborn kite fold. What I would do is fold them in half lengthwise fresh out of the drier then let them sit overnight. The next day I would do the folding into a diaper shape. I have a nice basket to hold them until needed. FSTs are a way to diaper using flats.

Bummis Super Whisper Wrap Cover (size small, 8-15 lbs)

We had a set of 4 newborn all-in-ones from bumgenius, but I have already passed those along to my sister. We never used them because we didn't start cloth diapers until our baby was 3 weeks old, he grew fast, and his inguinal hernia when it bulges actually needs a lot of room. Maybe they would have been more useful for a girl.

BumGenius AIOs in Size 1

What I have not used yet are Fitted Sloomb Overnight Bamboo Fleece aka OBFs (Sustainablebabyish) are made from 70% viscose from bamboo / 30% organic cotton.

AI2 - all in two. I don't think I have any of these. They are a cover and an insert that snaps into place.

Soaker - the absorbent part of an AI2, fitted, or AIO diaper.  Lays in or snaps in. For AIOs, the soaker is sewn into the diaper iself.

Insert - the absorbent part of a pocket diaper.  The same thing as a soaker but is inserted into the pocket.

Doubler - used on top of or in addition to a soaker/insert when baby is older/a heavy wetter/at night. Meant to provide extra absorbancy. Thinner and smaller than an insert. Sometimes called "newborn inserts".

Booster - same thing as a doubler, not related to staying dry or wicking, meant to boost the absorbency.

Liner - usually single-layer pieces of fabric laid in a diaper to either create a stay-dry feeling or to make disposing of poop easier or to protect the diaper when using diaper cream. Can be disposable or reusable.

https://www.momadvice.com/post/cloth_diapers

https://mamanloupsden.com/2015/12/16/how-to-cloth-diaper-your-newborn-with-flour-sack-towels/

FSTs from Amazon we bought 30 more!

Cloth diaper sprayer

Toilet funnel, clips, grabber

How often you should clean your washing machine — and how to do it https://www.today.com/series/how-often-should-you/how-clean-washing-machine-t20131 

Washing machine cleaner

Dec 27 - bought new dryer (week 29)

Jan 27 - washed new CDs (week 34)

Feb 4 - washed UCLA used CDs (week 35)

Feb 24 - washed CDs from Mykel (week 38)

Feb 25 - washed CDs from Christiana

You will also get a lot of use from two Pail liners that you can alternate. They can be washed with the diapers (turned inside out) and then I line dry the bag and PUL covers, while the flats (FSTs) I dry in the dryer.

How to properly fit cloth diapers YouTube tutorial.

Postpartum Part 4: stations

In this post I want to discuss things like the "breastfeeding cart" and how we organize our baby's clothes and cloth diapers. And let's not forget patient #1, that's mom!

Bathroom station for mom

https://pregnantchicken.com/postpartum-recovery-station/

What I put in mine are as follows: adult diapers, peri bottle, preparation H wipes (with witchhazel solution for rewetting if the package dries out), overnight 12-hour pads, ultrathin 8-hour pads, mesh underwear (from the hospital). I used an old magazine rack for the container. This is a photo of the downstairs bathroom. Bear in mind that you will need one of these stations in each bathroom. The upstairs bathroom, I turned the trash can into a pad holder. I used the bucket from the trash can as a little stand for Tucks pads and the peri bottle. We put a diaper genie in there for disposal of adult and baby diapers. It worked.

Diaper station for baby

https://pregnantchicken.com/new-mom-kits-diaper-station/

We got a bunch of Samla interlocking clear plastic storage containers from IKEA. These I love because they stack and can be reassigned as baby grows. We have already eliminated the newborn size bin and replaced it by splitting clothes into 0-3 months day and 0-3 months night.

One container is the bath kit, which contains a hooded towel, three washcloths, a ducky thermometer, shampoo and lotion. There is a canvas basket that has all the baby blankets. The basket below has all the folded cloth diapers (FSTs).

Top Level

Middle Level

Lower Level

Breastfeeding cart

https://pregnantchicken.com/breastfeeding-station/

We got this cart at Big Lots. It was something we thought about before baby arrived. I definitely haven't perfected what's on it, but I have used it daily. 

Top level: earplugs, eye mask, Kleenex, barf bag, pen, breastpads, snacks, water

Middle level: burp cloths, bibs, flannel baby blankets
Bottom level: washcloths, mesh laundry bags filled with baby things such as mittens, socks and hats

Diaper bag
https://pregnantchicken.com/paperclip-diaper-bag/

Back side compartment: quick clean micro steam bag, changing station (bags and pee-pee teepee)
Middle compartment: change of clothes, burp cloth, wipes, diapers, diaper rash cream, nail clippers
Front side compartment: disposable breast pads, lanolin cream, reusable cutlery, formula bottles

 

Mom's bag
https://www.babycenter.com/0_checklist-what-to-put-in-your-diaper-bag_10328766.bc
Snacks (crackers with cheese or peanut butter, trail mix, protein bars, dried peas), ibuprofen, miralax, support belt, nipple cream, ear plugs, eye mask, baby's gas drops, pads, preparation H wipes and an LED reading light

Bottle washing station
https://ashadeofteal.com/kitchen-bottle-organizing-station-that-doesnt-take-up-too-much-space/

More IKEA Samla bins which sort out Medela bottles from Avent bottles and freezer storage bags. We have a distilled water reservoir, for the bottle warmer and sterilizer. My mom got us a Boon grass drying rack along with the twig, stem, poke and the cactus brush set. I had seen this item at a secondhand shop in Burbank, but arrogantly I thought I would immediately succeed at breastfeeding and wouldn't need any bottles. As I am learning, all the stuff for maternity, baby and postpartum has a raison d'être and more will be revealed if the utility of the item is not immediately evident.

Breast pump bag
https://pregnantchicken.com/breast-pump-bag-packing-list/
So far mine has an infinity scarf and a hands-free pumping bra, a good headband and hair elastic, three power cables (outlet, car, battery) an extra set of membranes, an extra set of tubing, lids, nipples, flanges, connectors, bottles, snacks, separate cooler bag with ziploc and ice packs (for used pump parts), breast pads.

Pregnancy Part 29

New unfortunate pregnancy symptom: carpal tunnel syndrome. Boo hoo. It's really when I wake up from sleeping. I don't experience it as a numbness in my hand, but rather a pain in the joints of my fingers. Lately, in the last couple of days, I've been feeling it as a serious pain in my right wrist. It does feel better if I put ice on it, so that's the solution for now. I don't think it's from scrolling on my phone or holding the phone, because I haven't been really spending time on my phone for the past few days. I've been busy!

Diet

Week 36 - Feb 10-16 - 43% (six fast food)
Week 37 - Feb 17-23 - 69% (four fast food)
Week 38 - Feb 24-Mar 1 - 51% (three fast food)

Symptoms

Week 36 - Feb 10-16 - backache, tender breasts, BH contractions, increased thirst, morning sickness/nausea
Week 37 - Feb 17-23 - tender breasts, heartburn, pelvic discomfort and pressure, increased thirst, morning sickness/nausea
Week 38 - Feb 24-Mar 1 - increased appetite, heartburn, pelvic discomfort and pressure, tender breasts, nipple soreness, joint pain, BH contractions, increased thirst, headache

My parents were considering coming out for a weekend trip March 13-16, but between the cost of it and just how unlikely it would be for that to coincide with the baby's birth, they decided not to come out together. As a consequence, my mom just booked her flight to arrive on March 10th and depart March 18th. This increases her odds of being there for the birth. I'm surprised that she's willing to take so much time off work since it's usually a problem for her. I'm excited that she will be here because I know how excited she must be. Earlier on in pregnancy, I was pretty adamant that I didn't want my mom around during labor, but now that it's getting closer, I'm caring less about being in control and feeling more gratitude for any amount of help and experience that people can share with us.

One day, I forgot to take my prenatal vitamin and ended up getting a strong craving for cat food. Another day, I also forgot the vitamin and wanted fast food really badly. Don't know what it is about salty stuff that my body needs and usually gets from the multivitamin. Google suggests it's iron.

I got a headache that lasted for 6 hours. Ended up going in to the hospital to get checked out at 6 pm. On their monitors, my blood pressure was fine and they didn't find any protein in my urine. No excessive swelling in my extremities. Baby looked good on the monitor. So we were sent home with advice to take 650mg of Tylenol every 6 hours. After 3 doses, the headache finally went away. It felt like a migraine that I usually get around when my period starts. Maybe it was triggered by surging hormones. Or now that I think about it, progesterone levels seem to drop leading up to delivery, so maybe that's the trigger (and not high blood pressure). In any case, we bought a blood pressure cuff for $60 at Rite Aid. My OB suggested to take a reading twice daily and if the systolic is over 140 mmHg and/or the diastolic is over 90 mmHg, then that is cause for concern and we should go back to triage.

Pregnancy Part 25

I had my 34 week OB appointment this week. Everything went well. My blood pressure was 130/80. Albert's heart rate was 150 beats per minute. Went to the Fit4Baby HIIT week 4 out of 6 workout, I am sore but it made me much more relaxed and happy.

I've been trying to do more meditation lately. Nothing serious like hypnobabies, which I keep hearing about, but I am definitely taking advantage of the classes offered at CSUN as well as the guided meditations on the Hello Belly app. I did pay $20 for that app, but the guided meditations on there are pretty good. There are lots of different ones.

This week is a busy week. Tuesday I went to the ballet while Mike had the car. It was very frosty here in So Cal with an overnight low of 31 degrees. I got to walk about two and a half miles that night, to and from the show, or about 6000 steps. Albert slept through pretty much the entire show, but seemed to wake up a bit when we got home and I put my feet up in the recliner.

We have a breastfeeding class at the hospital. We're also possibly going swimming. I went to work on Monday, but then Tuesday I spent all day at home cooking and doing laundry. I also unwrapped all the free bottles we got and read about how to clean them. Wednesday morning I spent at the doctor and then in the afternoon I pretty much just napped.

Last weekend was a busy weekend also. It seemed like we didn't do any of our normal "reset" tasks, such as shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I sat down Tuesday and made a list of all thing things I wanted to cook, but I only got 3 out of 7 done. Not sure when I'll get to the remainder. I didn't bring anything to eat for lunch today, but I've been doing pretty good on following my meal planner this week.

I'm still using the Ovia app to track symptoms. I used to religiously read the daily updates of information in my first and second trimesters, but now I check in maybe weekly. There's so much going on inside my body, and visible from the outside too, that I don't feel it's as necessary to read about it.

I ended up re-starting taking Vitamin B6 for nausea. I bought a new bottle between Week 33 and 34. In reading the comments on my Reddit bumper group, many of us are experiencing a resurgence of morning sickness. If Vit B6 worked before, maybe it will work again. I think it is working, but I'm not going to stop taking it and find out.

Another thing I'm trying to do to manage nausea and heartburn is to eat every 2 hours instead of every 4 hours. I've been feeling the best when I have a shake or something nutritious that I can just sip on throughout the day. I'm planning to start eating dates next week, supposedly they help with softening of the cervix and increase the odds that you will go into labor spontaneously.

Diet

Week 33 - Jan 20-26 - 50% (five fast food)
Week 34 - Jan 27-Feb 2 - 43% (five fast food)
Week 35 - Feb 3-9 - 63% (three fast food)

Symptoms

Week 33 - Jan 20-26 - BH contractions, neckache, backache, heartburn, bloating and flatulence
Week 34 - Jan 27-Feb 2 - morning sickness/nausea, headache, neckache, backache, heartburn, leg cramps
Week 35 - Feb 3-9 - appetite decrease, BH contractions, nipple soreness, tender breasts, abdominal itchiness, leg cramps, swelling

It seems like we got our hospital bag pretty much completely packed. It's in the car, too. I think this baby will arrive on time or late. Dear husband is convinced he will come early. I guess it's better to be ready, but he's got me stressing pretty hard on getting everything ready at home (diapers, bottles, freezer meals). I have 25 meals in the freezer and 4 more in the fridge that should be moved into the freezer. 

Ugh, I really don't want to start working, but these documents aren't going to correct themselves. 

Pregnancy Part 24

I feel like 24 is a lucky number so I will try to keep this post on the positive side of things. It is less than 40 days until our due date, and I always said that 40 is a magic number too. We're having a baby shower here at work in less than two weeks, so I will definitely been in "month 9" at that time (assuming baby has not arrived before then).

Our 34 week appointment is on Wednesday, and I don't have any major concerns. I'm just hoping for a "normal" blood pressure reading and that I haven't gained too much weight.

 

I have crossed the threshold into territory that I wasn't supposed to enter. The app through my hospital suggested I stop gaining weight at 215 lbs. I have definitely logged a few days at 216 lbs, so I think that goal has been met and exceeded. More alarming perhaps is the increase in heart rate. I kind of stopped wearing my FitBit because it was too alarming. My "resting" heart rate is now in the 80s and just easy walking to and from the bathroom gets me up into the 110s (beats per minute). Let's not even discuss what happens when I'm exercising.

I'm still enjoying my HIIT (Fit4Baby) workouts. We've been swimming 4 times already. It's been fantastic. I use the word "swimming" lightly here because it's not like I'm doing 30 minutes of actual lap swimming or even treading water. Instead we spend about 45 minutes doing a combination of walking laps and very easy swimming. We also do some stretching in the water. More than the exercise, what I enjoy is the meditative aspect of watching the sunset or sun's rays as they reflect and refract in the pool. The landscaping is a bit more mature than pictured below.

What I love is when you are standing in the middle of the pool, it has an infinity edge so you just see the surface of the water and no ledge around the pool. The other awesome thing is that when people are swimming, the water runs into the drains around the edge of the pool which sounds like a fountain or babbling brook. I find the sound very relaxing and I always sleep better on nights after we swim.

I feel very fortunate to be living in Southern California and to be at the zenith of my pregnancy during the winter. We have had some pretty warm days (70s and 80s) which make for great outdoor swimming. Even when it's cooler, the pool is heated and we can still use it. I'd say the water temperature is in the 70s because yesterday when it was 83 degrees ouside the pool, the water felt cool but most other days the water feels warmer than the air temperature.

I would feel scared to be pregnant in winter in a place where it's icy and cold. I would also feel pretty bummed out if I were pregnant in So Cal in the summer because it's so hot here in Northridge that it would be difficult to get out and walk. My dear husband has been doing a great job of getting me out on days that we don't swim. We have some funny names for our walks "103" or "303" where the first digit is the starting location and the third digit is the distance. If it starts with a 1, then the walk starts from home. If it starts with a 3 then the walk starts from school. If it ends in a 1, then the walk is short.

This week is on the busy side for us. Besides the doctor's appointment on Wednesday, we have a breastfeeding class at the hospital on Thursday night. Tuesday we are going to "divide and conquer" where Mike is attending the Bicycle Advisory Committee Meeting and I will be going to the Ballet here at CSUN.

We scored a lot of cloth diapers this weekend from the Executive Director of the Los Angeles Regional Collaborative for Climate Action and Sustainability (LARC) at UCLA. She so generously included reusable wipes and a diaper pail. Now I just have to re-wash them and take an inventory to see if we have reached the appropriate size stash to accommodate our baby when he arrives.

And now it's about time to get down to some actual work. I have been contacted by two faculty for help with making their documents ADA compliant. It's fun and kind of low-stress work, plus I know it's going to have the possibility of impacting students in a positive way so that motivates me to get on with the task.

Pregnancy Part 17

Officially, I am ready to stop working. I have arrived at work (reluctantly) and I am so not in the mood to do anything work-related. I have no idea how some women work right up until they give birth, unless they have no other alternative. I assume if I had to, I would figure out a way to do it.
Week 24 - 40% (five fast food)
Week 25 - 34% (two fast food)
Week 26 - 29% (six fast food)

I am absolutely obsessed with preparing for the baby's arrival. All I want to think about is getting little baby clothes, bibs, diapers, sitting in a rocking chair, reading to the baby, putting my feet up, getting all the furniture put together so it's ready. Yesterday, I put together the stroller and practiced all the features of folding and unfolding and converting it so that it's ready for the baby carrier.

After letting the store "Motherhood Maternity" add us to some list, we have been getting a couple of magazines. One is called "Parents" and it's kind of silly because over half of it is advertising. There is a lot of advertising that is directed at parents-to-be and new parents. I think it's kind of unfair. There's another magazine they also send us called "InStyle" and I have yet to even open one of the issues. I guess I'm just not stylish enough.

On Saturday, I spent some time in the bedrooms packing away clothes that won't be used while I am in the third and fourth trimesters. I did some KonMari folding of things that I might wear, to make it easier for dear husband to fetch me things if I can't climb up and down the stairs. I packed away all non-nursing bras and all non-maternity pants. I think I'm ready to go back to the Motherhood store and pick up a few wireless nursing bras. Oh and maybe also a maternity swimsuit. Ahem, tankini.

Assuming baby arrives on time, we have 15 weekends left. Next weekend we are celebrating dear husband's birthday and the weekend after that we are celebrating Christmas. We spent last weekend doing our Christmas shopping and wrapping presents. I feel kind of strange waiting for baby showers that haven't even been scheduled yet. I don't know when they will be, who will be hosting, and whether anyone will buy anything off of our registry. 

One new product that I just got in the mail today is papaya chlorophyll chewables. I only tried them this morning for the first time, so I can't say they have changed my life, but I will keep you updated as I enter the third trimester, assuming the heartburn continues getting worse and worse.

A lot of people on my bumpers group are talking about maternity photos. I don't know how I feel about memorializing the pregnancy. I think I would be happier in the long-term with photos of the baby once he arrives. The only thing I was considering was a "pet photo with Santa" at the Northridge Fashion Center. I thought it would be cute to have a picture with a pregnant bump and our little doggie and Santa as baby's 0th Christmas.

CSUN group

I went to a women's holiday tea party last night. It was fun to sit around and discuss the intersection of motherhood, spirituality and organized religion. I don't really remember how we got on the topic but we started talking about what religions each of us were raised and what we consider ourselves now. It was a common thread that many women selected their family church based on what would provide a stable foundation for their children, including good Sunday school teachers.

My Grammerly tone detector says this post has been classified disapproving, dissatisfied, and forceful. Wow. I guess I really am having a case of the Mondays. I tagged this post beauty because I tried wearing makeup yesterday and it went kind of well and kind of not so well. Considering taking a professional photo, I want to put on a little color. I think the lipstick I ended up wearing (in the photo above) goes far enough towards something but not too much.

Finally, this week at Bradley class we'll be working on our birth plan, which I am hoping includes a full consideration of Advanced Directives. I guess I'll be putting together a folder or binder containing all pertinent information to bring with us to the hospital. I have already started a Google doc that will be a packing list for our hospital bag.

Pregnancy Part 14

This weekend we worked on our house tasks and took a day in LA. Last weekend, we did some shopping, then more shopping, then house tasks. What I mean by house tasks is furniture assembly and redistribution of items into the new furniture.

When we moved to our Northridge condo around 2.75 years ago, we agreed that we wouldn't buy any furniture or decorate until we had lived there for 1 year. After that time, we bought a few bookshelves, a pair of lamps and some end tables. Nothing too expensive, since we live across the street from the Goodwill. Maybe all together it cost $200 (or less). It doesn't look bad, in fact we were so overjoyed to have the extra space and white walls.

Now, we are preparing to babyproof the house, which means getting everything up off the floor and into containers that the baby can't get into. Hence the need for furniture. We bought two dressers at IKEA which have 6 drawers each. The space we were concerned about was a metal shelf that had everything exposed.

Xmas 2017 / New Year 2018

I don't know if you can tell, but the dry goods in the metal rack above are organized by plant family. Other items moved into the new dressers included: glassware, tablecloth, fabric napkins, dishrags, aprons. And my seed library!

View this post on Instagram

How do you organize your #seedlibrary ?

A post shared by Kayla Kaiser (@hamerk02) on Mar 11, 2018 at 7:24pm PDT

The day in LA was fun and we did a lot of walking. Seeing the Walk of Fame is always an eventful day. We saw a movie at the Cinedome (56 years old) on Sunset and Vine, which is now called the ArcLight Hollywood. We ate lunch at Miceli's (a 70-year institution on Hollywood Blvd). I did wear my BellyBandit belt for a few hours in the morning, but I took it off at lunch. It was fun showing my in-laws how to ride the subway (Metro) red line.

I wish I had time to write more, but tonight we have a doctor's appointment and then Bradley birth class and then I am DETERMINED to get to the grocery store and get re-stocked. We've been eating out quite a bit since devoting our weekends to "home tasks" instead of grocery shopping and cooking.

Pregnancy Part 11

Today we had our anatomy scan at the MFM doctor. It went well, with the exception of the fetus hiding his face from us. We got a facial side-profile, but he had his hands behind his neck and he was head-down, so I guess the ultrasound technician and the doctor both let it go.

The MFM doctor was kind enough to go over the results of our prior screening tests. Everything is low risk, something like 1 in 38,000 risk of abnormalities. Today's scans of all the features looked normal. We got to zoom in on his boy-parts so it is definitely a boy.

I'm starting to get a bit concerned about the rate of weight gain. This weekend, it looked like I was trending outside of the grey "safe" area. I will definitely try to rein in the eating and ramp up the workouts. I attended my first prenatal HIIT class and it was so fun (and so hard!)

We went out on a mission to fill out our baby registry with items like crib, changing table, stroller, etc. Some of these items we wanted to test-drive in order to imagine how they would fit into our house, car and life.

It didn't hurt that IKEA also serves food. We will be starting our Bradley Birth class one week from today, right after our fetal echocardiogram. Things are really moving along. We have to schedule our tour of the hospital maternity ward.

Pregnancy Part 10

Today dear husband is at a conference. I am at work and grateful to be busy. If I were sitting around at home, I would probably have more time to obsess over symptoms and things that could go wrong. Instead, I am keeping on top of my work and enjoying working with students.

Here goes the symptom roundup:

Week 16 - Sept 23-29 headache, neckache, shortness of breath, abdominal/pelvic discomfort, joint pain, leg cramps, increased thirst
Week 17 - Sept 30-Oct 6 heartburn, nipple soreness, shortness of breath
Week 18 - Oct 7-13 backache, headache, neckache, bleeding gums, tender breasts, increased thirst

We had our 18-week and second trimester screening appointment with the OB last week, everything went well. We had a list of questions that were answered. We heard the baby's heartbeat on doppler, but there was no ultrasound. I gave another vial of blood for AFP testing. I got the insurance stuff all straightened out with the State of CA screening program.

I wrote about the "babycentre" diet in previous posts, part 4 and part 5. I will admit that I have been following it loosely. It does help me see how many times I am eating fast food and not healthy food.

Week 12 - 49%
Week 13 - 26% (one fast food)
Week 14 - 28% (four fast food)
Week 15 - 28% (four fast food)

Week 16 - 26% (three fast food)

Week 17 - 31% (three fast food)
Week 18 - 37% (three fast food)

I don't feel good about these numbers, and I want to get the percentage of "following the diet" up higher, but it requires planning and shopping and with "pregnancy brain" I am really struggling with having the energy to actually sit down and decide what groceries I would need for a week. Then once the groceries are purchased, it is hard to get into that kitchen and cook all of those meals.

Regardless, I am still within normal for weight gained, but I'm starting to be afraid of a 9 pound or larger baby. We have been doing a good amount of walking. I've been monitoring the macronutrients and micronutrients on MyFitnessPal to try to get 40% carbs and 40% fats and 20% protein. More often than not, I end up with 50% carbs, 30% fats and 20% protein. But I am getting all the calcium and Vitamin A that I need.

This weekend we went back to La Quinta in Santa Ana. It was great to escape the smoke from the Saddleridge Fire (thanks climate change). We took our dog to Huntington Dog beach on Friday morning. It was absolute paradise. We went to my nephew's football game at Newport Beach. We went to Crystal Cove State Park on Saturday afternoon with my in-laws. They were escaping some fires that were set in Riverside. It was super to have two beach-walks in one weekend but it did get a bit hot at the end. The baby was kicking on the way down from the parking lot to sea level, but he calmed down once we got out to the area where the water meets the sand. On Sunday, we got to see some old friends from graduate school and spend a bit of time with their two daughters. 

Since I kept track of the items I had wished I had from our last trip, packing for this trip was a breeze. We had a wonderful time away and it was hard to come back. We put down a deposit on our prenatal classes in the Bradley Birth method, which will start around end of October. Tonight is my first prenatal workout class at Bini Birth center in Sherman Oaks. I'm excited but also nervous. I want to be strong when I am in labor. I'm afraid that if I don't work out, I will lose all my muscles that I will need to push this baby out and carry him around both before and after he is born.

Pregnancy Part 2

It is Friday and this is a check-in post. I do not have much new news to share, but I wanted to spend a few moments to write down my thoughts and feelings in this 9th week of pregnancy.

When I write it that way, I realize that I am nearly one-quarter done. That means embryo/fetus is also one-quarter done. I am having trouble with nausea. Just yesterday the round ligament pain started up again after not really being noticeable for a few weeks. I guess that means my uterus is growing.

I switched from taking Vitamin B6 in a 100 mg dose once per day to a 25 mg dose 3 times per day, as recommended by my OB. Meeting her was a big milestone, I still have not opened the big blue folder of stuff she gave us. She wrote down all the names of all the prenatal screening tests that she has ordered for us and I will be submitting to those at my next appointment on September 4th.

I have been receiving support calls from my longtime friend (BFF). She mentioned lots of things yesterday that brought me comfort. One being that the first trimester is a lot of work for the body with very little outward change. I feel like my hips have shifted, like actually gotten wider. I feel like the fat on my "saddlebags" has migrated somewhere (or vanished). But getting through each day is a challenge because I have so little energy and I am nauseous nearly all day every day.

My OB clarified that I should plan to gain 11-15 pounds throughout my entire pregnancy, which pretty much seems impossible but I guess if the nausea keeps up it will not be difficult. I have already increased the daily calories I eat from 1700 to 2000 and shifted my macros from 25-35-40 to 20-40-40 for protein-fat-carbohydrates. I have difficulty meeting the 20% protein goal since the thought of meat makes me want to vomit.

Month 1 - June
Month 2 - July
Month 3 - August
Month 4 - September
Month 5 - October
Month 6 - November
Month 7 - December
Month 8 - January
Month 9 - February

I have been looking into birthing classes, so if we want to start the class in month 5, then that would be in October. So it is not too soon to start contacting people. I will definitely speak to my OB at my next appointment to see if she has any serious recommendations, or if there are any mandatory classes at the hospital where I plan to deliver. I am sure they cannot make these classes mandatory, but I guess I mean highly-recommended.

Of the "diet" books I have purchased, I am not super-satisfied with any of them.

The Whole 9 Months: A Week-By-Week Pregnancy Nutrition Guide with Recipes for a Healthy Start by Jennifer Lang MD has some nice color illustrations, for example folate-rich foods to eat during the first trimester. There is one meal idea that I would like to try, curried squash, but I have just felt too crappy to actually go into the kitchen and make it.

Eating for Pregnancy: Your Essential Month-by-Month Nutrition Guide and Cookbook by Catherine Jones is a more practical book. Many of the recipes are as simple as opening cans of beans and heating them up on the stove. Or some other recipes are for raw foods like guacamole, which does not have to be cooked. I have made three recipes from this book successfully. Dear husband made one of them also, so that gives you an idea that it is user-friendly for a more novice home cook. The only complaint I have is that these recipes make like 6 or 8 servings and I have been spoiled by The IVF Diet by Zita West being portioned out for two adults only. I have not been very good at eating leftovers since many sources caution you against eating soft cheeses that may contain listeria unless they are straight from a package to your mouth.

What to Eat When You're Pregnant: A Week-by-Week Guide to Support Your Health and Your Baby's Development by Nicole M. Avena PhD has been completely useless. I really did not find any meal plan or recipes in this book and have basically not found it to be helpful. Maybe it just was not what I was looking for.

Healthy Eating During Pregnancy: 100 Recipes for a Nutritious Delicious Nine Months by Erika Lenkert is a book we found at the $10 or Less Bookstore (used) while the other three we bought on Amazon. This one is funny because it is more for gourmet foodie types of people, all the recipes are contributed by chefs of high-end restaurants. There were three recipes in there that I flagged as "want to make" but I have not made any of them yet. Dear husband approximated one of them, since we had bought the ingredients, but he was not working from the cookbook. Instead, I was shouting instructions at him from another room. This book has full-color glossy photos of some of the meals, which may or may not be something that entices you.

We bought some other books just about pregnancy, and we are working our way through reading them.

Your Pregnancy Companion: Everything You Need to Know About Pregnancy, Birth and the First Weeks of Parenthood by Zita West is a book that I got on Kindle first and then a hardback copy arrived in the mail from Amazon (used). The way this book is worded really puts my mind at ease. Many other pregnancy books have language that hints at natural pregnancy and Zita West always makes a point to acknowledge that her readers may have concieved through IVF and points out how the advice may differ for IVF babies compared to "free sex babies." Of course, she does not use that term, that is something that I have picked up from the infertility reddit.

The Pregnancy Book For Men: From Dude To Dad in 40 Short Weeks by Gerard Janssen is a book that we found at the $10 or Less Bookstore (used). It may be silly or it may be useful, time will tell.

Sacred Pregnancy: A Loving Guide and Journal for Expectant Moms by Anni Daulter is another one we found at the $10 or Less Bookstore (used). It has color illustrations and meditations and space for you to journal for each week of the pregnancy. I have not written in it yet, mainly because I am terrified of miscarrying and I feel like writing to the embryo is weird. But maybe I will be able to get into this more as the pregnancy gets further along.

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be by Armin A. Brott is one that I ordered through Amazon. I want my husband to feel like he is involved and informed about what is going on and that the process / journey is something that he is an important part of.

Last but not least, we got hooked on smoothies for breakfast when we were doing The IVF Diet. I found the following book at $10 or Less Bookstore (used).

Innocent Smoothie Recipe Book: 57 1/2 recipes from our kitchen to yours. Something about this book spoke to me, it was irreverent and goofy but the recipes seemed pretty straightforward. We have made at least four of the smoothies, which were great, and it has been the perfect way to add variety into our new breakfast regime. I find it interesting that the "Innocent" company is owned by the Coca-Cola corporation, but this book gives you everything you need to make their shakes at home. Some of the ingredients are more Euro-centric, meaning that I am not sure where to get things like lychee and currants, but I would say that it is possible to make more than half the recipes here in the US.

In other news, during the summer heat I have been watching the Harry Potter movies. It kind of makes me want to go to Universal Studios to the Wizarding World, but I would not be able to ride any of the rides so it might be kind of pointless. My OB said do not do anything "dangerous" which I felt was kind of vague. Why are most of my favorite hobbies (cycling, rollerskating) dangerous?

I have been feeling a bit more energetic since stopping progesterone in oil (PIO) injections. It is a real treat to have only a teeny tiny shot every third day. My butt muscles are still a bit itchy but healing and feeling better every day. Also, another random observation is that in weeks 5, 6, 7, 8, I felt like I did not NOT want to drink water. Like my morning sickness was making me afraid of water. I did NOT want to throw up. For the last few days, I can finally feel my thirst picking up and I could drink all day, every 5 minutes, which is good. Drinking less water was making me nervous.

Other symptoms: acne! My extremities are so dry. I finally broke down yesterday and slathered my feet with lotion, which I hate doing because it feels like walking on slime, but I was getting so dry that my skin was itching. Like, to the point where it would wake me up at night. When I had leg cramps, it was around the time I stopped PIO. I also took a Vitamin D supplement with calcium and magnesium, instead of strictly Vitamin D, and I think that helped.

Week 5 - July 8-14 - morning sickness, nausea, tender breasts
Week 6 - July 15-21 - headache, abdominal ache/pain, morning sickness, acne
Week 7 - July 22-28
Week 8 - July 29-Aug 4 - morning sickness, abdominal ache/pain, leg cramps, appetite decrease, headache, gas/bloating, food aversions
Week 9 - Aug 5-11 - morning sickness, nausea, acne
Week 10 - Aug 12-18

These are the symptoms I logged using the app Ovia. This app gives you some recipes here and there, it reminds you to take your prenatal vitamin, and there are articles on other topics such as maternity leave, maternity bras, kegel exercises and prenatal screening. I also check in with the app Hello Belly. The feature I like on that app is that it has checklists by week of your pregnancy. I feel it helps me take things at my own pace (you can scroll through the weeks and check off past-due items) but it also does not let you look more than 1 week ahead. I do feel a bit resentful that the “femtech” data is being anonymously sold, but I also appreciate what I get out of these apps (information).

In other tech news, I am considering upgrading MyFitnessPal account to premium. The reason for this is so that I can increase the daily target goal for calcium. I'm worried that I'm not getting enough. I find it frustrating that apps like MyFitnessPal and Clue don't have a setting where you can tell it you're pregnant. I guess the people who make those apps just don't consider it, or they figure the number of pregnant people at any given time is small, or they figure that pregnant women just eat whatever they want. I don't know the reason, but it is frustrating. My OB said that she will refer me to a nutritionist. When I get the recommendations from the nutritionist, then I will program those into MyFitnessPal to help ensure that I will be meeting those new goals.

Pregnancy Part 1

Today I am pregnant. This is the mantra that has helped me get from the 6-week ultrasound to the 8-week ultrasound. I know I have been pregnant because I have had "morning sickness" for a couple of weeks now. I fully abandoned my IVF diet cleanse and started carb loading. Recent meals that settled well in my stomach include: mac and cheese and pizza margherita.

July 3rd - 11dp5dt - E2: 1,014 pg/mL - P4: 31.4 ng/mL
July 5th - 13dp5dt - E2: 912 pg/mL - P4: 28.6 ng/mL
July 12th - 20dp5dt - E2: 1,110 pg/mL - P4: 29.4 ng/mL
July 19th - 34dp5dt - E2: 1,364 pg/mL - P4: 35.8 ng/mL
Aug 2nd - 47dp5dt - E2: 1,946 pg/mL - P4: 33.4 ng/mL

The fetal heart rate is 173 beats per minute, which is on track for the age of the embryo. In four days, we will be able to call this a fetus.

The news that we will be able to stop progesterone in oil (PIO) shots was surprising and very good to hear. The dose of estradiol shots was cut in half, so I will only have to endure 0.1 mL every third day. Continuing progesterone suppositories and estradiol oral tablets is not so bad.

Dear husband admitted that all the pseudoscience stuff we did prior to embryo transfer was part of the complex cocktail of good vibes that helped establish this pregnancy. The Sacred Woman, my prayer altar, the plants in my bedroom, the vegetable garden on our patio, all the dog walks, the acupuncture, the meditations on Ferticalm, our teamwork, the fresh cut flowers in the house, all of it helped me establish a calm and safe feeling, which may have helped the pregnancy establish itself.

I was worried about abandoning my "super healthy" and "garden of eden" diet. Shortly after embryo transfer I started gaining weight. I read that obese women should try to keep a constant weight or even lose weight in the first trimester, so this concerned me. But after tracking a bit longer, it seems like I gained a few pounds (probably in the breast tissue area) and then stabilized. I am still using MyFitnessPal to log food and weight, but I'm going easier on myself about what I am eating since my appetite is very delicate these days. 

I feel "good" between about 10am and 2pm and outside of those hours I feel very much like I have a bad hangover. The symptoms are headache and nausea with a little dizziness. I feel my boobs starting to hurt less, but the skin on my face is looking terrible! I have red blotches and dry patches and big blemishes, I've never had worse skin.

One big milestone that we did, which is partly why I changed the blog post title from "fertility" to "pregnancy" is we went to the Destination Maternity store at the Westfield Topanga Mall. I was like a crazy kid that didn't want to go to sleep, I made my husband walk ALL over the mall with me before going in to that store. When I finally got the courage to go in there, I just walked around gawking at the clothes and undergarments. I started looking at the sizes and they were S, M, L and a few XL. I was like whoa!

Luckily, dear husband started chatting up the saleslady. She took a look at my body and got out her measuring tape and got me fitted with a 38DDD nursing bra with underwire. She picked out two pairs of maternity pants in size L: one dark denim jegging and one pair of tight black slacks. They do have "petite" sizes so I don't have a lot of fabric bunching at the ankle. They fit weird, but she said that is how they are supposed to look. I also got a support garment that can support my "bump" after it pops, which has a pocket for an ice pack built into the garment. It is for when I'm teaching lab and running around. I have a feeling I will need some extra support under my lab coat!

I am feeling a bit nervous about my first appointment with my new obstetrician (OB). It will be on Monday. So far, they have given me the wrong fax number and claimed that they don't have my records when my fertility doctor sent them over 9 days ago. But I will continue to keep the faith that we will find support when we seek it. I don't have a list of questions for her, and I guess most of my questions involve costs of things and timing of things and who will deliver the baby and where the baby will be delivered (due to our health insurance) and what tests we can skip because we are IVF patients.

I downloaded three pregnancy apps (1) Ovia (2) Hello Belly and (3) Sprout. I like Ovia because it seems like it tracks symptoms well. I like Hello Belly because it has these checklists week-by-week that help me feel prepared and help me discuss things with my husband so that he can also feel prepared. If I'm not mistaken, Hello Belly prompted me to purchase a $20 lifetime subscription to unlock the content after a free download. The other two were free.

Fertility Part 6

So we found out the results of our PGS testing... and I am experiencing THE WORST menstrual cycle of my life.

It's now April, and the symptoms are real. I have had enlarged and swollen breasts since the trigger shot (two weeks ago). I was afraid to go for a massage because I couldn't put any pressure on my chest without severe pain. But I think the swelling is finally going down today because I weighed myself (which I am supposed to do every day now) and I'm the lightest I've been in the past year.

The advice from my case manager is "Rest up for next month" which makes me a little nervous that this is the calm before the storm. I don't remember anyone telling me that the first period after egg retrieval is such an ass-kicker. So if you're reading this and you are like me and want to be prepared for the truth about what can happen... prepare for the worst.

We had our appointment on Friday, March 29th to get the results of our PGS testing. As soon as we walked up to the front desk to sign in for our ultrasound appointment, we were handed the paper below. I know it should have put me over the moon of happiness to know that we had one normal embryo, but for some reason the word Euploid made no sense to me. I had to google it on my phone.

I guess I was hoping for more choice, and more chances, but all we got was one healthy normal embryo, and it's a male. I feel more scared now because I know that with the next stage (implantation) we only have one shot at it and if it goes wrong then we are done. The doctor explained that generally when eggs fertilize normally, about 50% of them are still "normal" by PGS testing, so we were just one embryo shy of that 50/50 ratio. What do they call that, the statistics of small sample sizes?

We went back for the ultrasound, and I got to see all the lovely cysts on my ovaries that are leftover from the egg retrieval procedure. I guess this is normal. And the uterus looked good. We were escorted into another room and seated with this photo on the table.

Those were our embryos, the 11 of them that grew. Our doctor explained to us that bigger is better and some of these just didn't look right. I think that it doesn't take an expert to see how different they all are. But the good news is that embryos are scored with a double letter system. Thankfully, the one "normal" PGS-tested embryo was evaluated as AA grade. Despite all those factors (normal number of chromosomes and AA grade cell quality), we were told that we would have a 60% chance that the embryo will result in a pregnancy.

OK fine. So we went straight to work and just reeled in the news. I ended up going out to the CSUN botanical garden in the afternoon and walked around with the wildflowers.

It wasn't the greatest news in the world, but it could have been worse. We got to ask a bunch of questions that we've been wondering and discuss some possible dates for the next round of hormones. It will be pills of estradiol and shots of estradiol and shots of progesterone and lots of doctor visits (every 2 days) to monitor the growth of the uterine lining. We want a nice soft pillow to deliver that embryo into to give it the best chance of becoming a successful pregnancy.

I think we're going to wait until school is done and grades are submitted to start that process. That day (Friday, March 29th) was our 11th wedding anniversary, so we had a nice steak dinner at home in our underwear and went to bed early.

The following day... I woke up like usual, drank my whey protein shake, ate my 2 egg breakfast with avocados (still keeping up that high protein diet). I got some beans soaking and ended up making a massive batch of 9-bean soup with the bone broth from the steaks from the night before. I was doing my thing in the kitchen, keeping busy when I started to feel a gurgling in my tummy.

Yes, it was watery diarrhea. My body was pushing everything out. I started my period. OK, that's to be expected, but it did seem a little bit violent. Then cramps started kicking down very bad. I tried to eat the 9-bean soup I had just made. I tried to eat some chicken around 11am or noon. Then I started the heavy breathing, the palm sweats and the salivating. I knew I was going to throw up.

Now I have a fairly iron stomach. But there have been times when I get a hormone-related migraine headache that makes me blow chunks. This was unlike anything I can remember. I was in so much pain, I couldn't lay down, I couldn't walk, I couldn't stretch, I just went from the bed to pacing to the toilet and back again, and back and forth for a few hours.

I tried taking some Tylenol, threw it up. I tried taking Alka-Seltzer with acetaminophen, threw that up. It seemed like there wasn't much to be done. It definitely went on until about 5pm. I finally came back downstairs and had something to eat. Dear husband went out for teriyaki chicken and vegetables. I drank some coconut water and ate some beef jerky to catch up on electrolytes.

Sunday, March 31st I begged dear husband to go out for a heating pad. That really did something good to help me through the pain. I took extra strength Tylenol (1000 mg) throughout the day, every 5 hours. It hurt intermittently (in waves). Monday, April 1st luckily was a school holiday, and the campus was closed. I stayed in all weekend with the exception of a short walk on Monday to Rite Aid and back (2 miles) to refill my stash of Lactaid.

I've considered abandoning the high protein diet (less than 40% carbs and more than 25% protein), but I guess I'll stick with it until the transfer. It is a bit hard to stay off carbs, now that my regular metabolism is back (no hormone supplementation). It's hard to stay off coffee too. And dairy. But I did order a book called "The IVF Diet" and it's supposed to arrive sometime this week or next. I'm still keeping up the 3 Liters of water. Don't know exactly why, but it's probably not a bad thing.

With "one shot" I want to try to do anything I can to improve our chances of success. I read that possibly losing as little as 15 pounds can go a long way to making my body healthier for the next stage of the process. I know I should get back to work now, but I'm adding items to my list for an IVF care package. Here's what I have so far:

• maternity leggings
• gel eye mask (for headaches)
• heating pad (for cramps)
• whey protein
• wire whisk (to mix shakes)
• egg timer (for hard-boiled eggs)
• beef jerky
• high protein (Rx) bars
• vitamin D

One thing I have noticed about myself is that I am enjoying spending more time outdoors. I feel like I'm drinking in the sunshine and fresh air when I can. It's more important to me than ever. It cheers me up and helps me shake the blues.