Stop trying to be nice. "Nice" doesn't ensure you understand the material. "Polite" means that you don't interrupt the professor when you need more help to understand what we're talking about. "Gentle" means that you shy away from contributing to the group in discussion. "Kind" means letting everyone else speak first, and then feeling relieved when the class time is up and you haven't had to say anything. Being a "good listener" isn't the same as synthesizing your own concept and communicating it to others; one is passive and the other is active.
When I'm tough on you, I expect you to be tough on me right back. By pushing each other to be better than we were before, we can both improve ourselves. If we both sit back (at rest) and shrink away from opportunities for personal growth (goal-setting and taking on new challenges) then we run the risk of slipping further into ignorance and decay.
An expert in the field of research on shyness, Bernardo J. Carducci, writes about stereotypes of masculine and feminine traits in his college-level textbook The Psychology of Personality: Viewpoints, Research, and Applications. I see both men and women in my courses being too shy to "bother" me with questions. I felt that way many times, too. When I was a student, I didn't go to the professor's office hours because I knew that professors are "busy" people and I didn't think they had time to help me with my learning.
I have noticed that shyness tends to be more pronounced in women, but it is also associated with cultural norms that are independent of gender. Carducci explains Social-Cognitive Theory: that identity occurs through the process of a child observing what others are doing, receiving instructions from others regarding what is appropriate behavior, receiving reinforcement when such behavior is performed, and learning to self-regulate the expression of appropriate behavior in order to receive such reinforcement (p. 507).
I say -- TO HELL WITH THAT! You gotta break the mold. Rise to the occasion of being evaluated. Stop being "modest" and get focused on ACHIEVEMENT. Think positively. Aim high. Know your worth. Know that you are capable of achieving anything you seriously and wholeheartedly put your mind to. Even if nobody you know has done it. There's a first time for everything.
Research shows that cultural factors account for gender differences in career advancement, leading to what is called the "paradox of achievement." Although women score higher in verbal ability, most critically acclaimed writers are men. Those women writers who become well-known are unmarried, childless, and well-to-do... meaning that they focus all their attention on becoming better writers rather than falling prey to societal expectations of motherhood and caregiving.
As for mathematical ability, males are treated differently in school. Teachers encourage men's abilities and interest in mathematics. The same could be said for racial and ethnic groups. Prevailing viewpoints (stereotypes) held by teachers that one group has more or less potential than another is going to hurt the group that is thought of as having less innate ability. This is unfair. THERE ARE NO GENDER (OR ETHNIC) DIFFERENCES ON MEASURES OF GENERAL INTELLIGENCE. We all have equal potential. AND I would add that it's not too late to start changing YOUR behavior right now. Your future success will be the positive reinforcement you need to continue personal growth in a new direction.
Consider selecting a few traits from the "Masculine" column of Table 12.2 (above).
- Aggressive
- Competitive
- Decisive
- Independent
- Never gives up
- Nonconforming
- Stands up to pressure
- Tough/Coarse
Sincerely,
Dr. Kaiser
No comments:
Post a Comment