Tuesday, October 25, 2022

simple joys

This life contains simple joys. A comfy shirt. An ample couch. A tasty meal. I feel the Thanksgiving season approaches and I want to remember the abundance and live gratefully. 

We used out Disneyland magic key pass a few times so far. I had planned to go once again in September but I hurt my back and opted to wait until the heat wave passes. But I have gotten a lot of use out of my XXL spirit jersey. I got one for DH in acid wash blue and one in peach rose gold.

Sactional Couch

We got a Sactional couch. The 4 seats / 5 sides Corded Velvet Sactional Storage Bundle from Costco. It came with a Lovesac Citysac and Squattoman with Cover, two Footsacs, four Throw Pillows (two small, two large) and two cupholders and a table. I love it sooooooooooooooo much. The blankets and pillows and cupholders are everything. We've already changed the configuration from what is in this picture but it suits us so well.

These cold days I love making hot tea in my Ceres Chill and it stays SO HOT I have to mix it with water to get it to a perfect drinking temperature. I also love how it keeps cold stuff cold in the summer. I've taken it to the beach, on a bike ride, and used it during my son's 2nd bday party. The flip top lid with sipper and straw is so great and I appreciate the leash to give it a handle. I love the rose gold color.


I'm so grateful that I was able to even take time off to stay at home with my baby. I had Spring 2020 to recover from the pregnancy and delivery and I had the summer to enjoy being in the nest with my little baby bird. When I returned to work, I was paid for 13 units but I think I only taught 10. This is the "reduced workload" that is a benefit from my employer. I also had a light load in Spring 2021 but mind you, we were still managing without daycare and having no help from family or a babysitter.


By Fall 2021 we couldn't handle Albert alone without help. I found a nearby daycare (Little Treehouse Academy) and we enrolled him starting November 1st. The lectures were taught fully online that semester. It was in Spring 2022 where we had the first 3 weeks virtual and then in-person thereafter. I still love my LuLaRoe wardrobe, it's silly and it was just the perfect thing to accommodate my mombod. Now that my regular pants and shirts fit, I feel like it's time to wear regular clothes again. But I'm grateful for that solution to my problem of none of my shirts buttoning.

Aug 2020

One of my biggest fears or hurdles about returning to work was that my former professional wardrobe just didn't fit at all and it was almost comical how bad it was. The above photo was taken 5 months postpartum. Only now do I feel like I want to wear normal clothes again. That's 2 years, 8 months people. So if you're considering buying nursing clothes or some interim wardrobe, go ahead. You'll be wearing it for quite a while. I still wear maternity shirts even though I've given all my maternity pants away.


I'm grateful for my walk-in closet. I'm grateful for hangers. I'm grateful that I can go in there and touch and feel everything and pick out something crazy to wear that suits my mood. I'm grateful that I haven't lost my job for wearing all this ridiculous stuff. I'm grateful that I can get dressed in the dark because my closet is organized in such a way that I can navigate by touch.


I guess I can get away with my crazy outfits in the grand tradition of Mrs. Frizzle of the Magic Schoolbus. But I'm sure there are some who look at my outfit choices with raised eyebrows. I keep waiting for students to write about it on the teaching evaluations but so far nobody has said anything. I think we're all in the "post-covid nothing fits and I'm used to teaching and learning from my bedroom" mood. My schedule next semester (Spring 2023) is all labs and I do my best to NOT wear LuLaRoe in the lab. It's just not going to withstand a chemical spill or heat.

Aug 2020 (Fall 2020)

My old lab shirts just seemed like my boobs wouldn't be contained by them. I also felt self-conscious about my mom tummy, which I sadly tried to get rid of for months and months and then around 13 months postpartum I just gave up or gave in. Now when I see my son nursing, he loves my belly and it's his safe place and his pillow so maybe it's a good thing. I'm grateful for my mom tummy.

Dec 2021 (Spring 2022)

When I was first learning about LuLaRoe shirts, it was because I had bought a lot of $200 which had about 100 pieces. Leggings of all plus sizes and a few children's. Tops of all styles and sizes. Spring 2022 is when we started back fully in-person (with a 3 week delay). Fall 2021 was still online. Spring 2021 I taught one section of CHEM 321L in-person. Fall 2021 I did teach two sections of CHEM 101 Lab in person. Both of these classes had A and B groups to split the class in half to maintain social distancing. Spring 2022 I taught 4 sections of CHEM 333L in person. There were 18 students per section and the requirement for social distancing was no longer.

April 2022 (Spring 2022)

I have been doing "styling" of my LuLaRoe shirts now in Fall 2022 which is why I think I'm ready for a regular wardrobe. I've been using a hair tie to gather the baggy shirt either on both sides (for the perfect T), or just in the back, or in the front and back.

May 2022

Then I found the Latched Mama boyfriend nursing T. I bought two of them used from Poshmark for $20 each around Easter time but they got lost in shipping. Luckily they arrived just after Mother's Day. I love them so much I ended up buying two more for $25 each new in size 2X. They're a little big so I end up tying them up in the summer. Especially if it's a hot day.


I love how easy it is to untie and nurse or take the sleeves down for a formal photo. For winter, like it is now, I love the Crewneck Nursing Pullover. I got one from Poshmark used for $40 and I love it so much. It's the definition of cozy and functional. I love how Latched Mama's company motto is "play clothes for nursing moms." I love anything that normalizes and celebrates this stage. I just found a BST facebook group for Latched Mama clothing.


I got two pullovers for $25 each while they are $53 each new. The size is 2X/3X. I also bought a fifth boyfriend nursing T in size XL because it's the first thing I reach for when I'm in the closet. New prints are $36 and solid color is $38.


I also bought a bundle of 3 Kindred Bravely nursing bras. The Motherhood maternity ones finally gave up the ghost. They were $120 for a pack of 3. Not the most sexy color or style but what I need is support and function. The clip down bras are good, the only thing I don't like about them are the pads. They move around a lot when you wash them. There's a Kindred Bravely BST because of course there is, but for me I would prefer to buy bras new because they do wear out.

Is it American to think of spending money on yourself as self-care or is it something important to do to be a part of society, live up to society's standards, and also just to function in the world? I can say that I feel gratitude that I can spend money on things that make my life more comfortable. I am grateful that I have been able to dress my postpartum body how I want and how I need to get through the days and nights. I'm so thankful for my husband and son and how they bring HEAPS AND HEAPS of joy into my life.

Halloween fears

Halloween is a great time to expose our fears. I have so much fear. I worry that I'll never get these days, weeks, months and years back. I worry that by putting my child in daycare, I'm just bowing to the almighty dollar and the patriarchal society that demands women return to work if they are serious about their job. I worry any time my child is out of my sight. I worry that I am breastfeeding too long, but if we wean, will I have breastfed too short? I worry that I'm spoiling my child by taking him to all the things like Disneyland and Legoland and Ikea and overstimulating him, but I'm also worried that if we only stay at home that he will be under-stimulated and never learn words. I worry that by giving him everything, I'm creating what will become a discontent adult. I worry that I'm not modeling enough of a great loving relationship with my husband. I worry about getting my kid vaccinated, I don't let him rest enough, I don't feed him enough, he's growing too slow, he's growing too fast, he's getting sick too much, he's constantly sick, he's addicted to Tylenol, he's not sick enough, his immune system isn't developing. The myriad fears associated with parenting are so vast.

Carved and Painted Pumpkins

Our son's therapist last night said, "I'm glad you don't decorate with a bunch of spooky stuff for Halloween." I guess I have enough fear inside my head that I don't need it to be outward. I did want to do some holiday stuff like carve a pumpkin, pick apples in an orchard, make pumpkin juice, roast pumpkin seeds. But I didn't have a desire for spider webs, ghosts, scarecrows, haunted houses and stuff like that.