Thursday, September 29, 2022

September 2022 Thoughts

9/1 - I'm back at work after having the summer off. My LO is in daycare. I kept him home Monday and Wednesday because I only teach Tues/Thurs/Fri. He has a kind of runny nose and slight cough but it doesn't seem like it's contagious. My husband is supposed to stay home with LO on Tues/Thurs/Fri but he was unwilling to do so on Tuesday. Today DH is out sick at home and LO is in daycare. So far I feel fine. I think maybe I'm just too stressed out to get sick right now. I had a bad migraine over the weekend, which I think was from stress.

It's a lot to get kiddo back in daycare. I had to remember so many things. The forms, the emergency kit, the shoes, the medications, the photos, etc. DH was just not involved in getting anything ready for our return to daycare. I can manage all of this. But I also want to get a massage. I have been internalizing this stress and I can feel it in my back. Also, I haven't been working out as much so I feel my posture going downhill.

We kept the kid out of swim lessons on Tuesday just in case of loose stool, which the daycare said he had on Tuesday. It's hard because when the kid is home with me he wants to lay around and breastfeed all day, which may have generated the loose stool. The day after he went to daycare, on Wednesday, his poops were solid. Today, he is meeting with a child psychologist as part of addressing his speech delay. It will be our second visit. I'm praying that this additional intervention can help us get kiddo caught up with his peers. He's about a year behind.

We're in a heat wave now, so it's cabin fever for everyone. The temp is supposed to be 112 deg F or something like that. It's hard to have a (possibly) sick kid and (possibly) sick husband and we can't leave the house. And we don't know if anyone has the same thing. I know the kids can't go outside at daycare if the outdoor temp is above 92 deg F so I do have some sympathy for the daycare teachers with 12 screaming two-year olds in a smallish room. I hope their sanity is holding up.

9/4 - John Lasseter movie marathon. Ice Age, Frozen, Zootopia, Princess and the Frog, Tangled... I think we will do Ratatouille and Brave next. New CARS movie comes out Sept 8th on Disney+ day. LO is a big fan of the Cars movies but not Planes.

Its in the triple digits here so we can't go out. DH is sick so we are quarantining just as a precaution. We are going to Disneyland next week to use the last day of our SoCal resident 3-day summer pass. That's why I am stuck on Disney and Pixar. LO is enjoying watching with me. It's fun to see what parts he laughs at.

I was raised on Disney movies but haven't seen all the ones that were released when I was in college and early career without kids. So from 1998 until now I guess. It's fun catching up. Any suggestions for what to watch tomorrow?

9/5 - I am so sick of my husband being sick. When will he ever be well again? I feel like we keep ending up at urgent care over and over. Why can't he take better care of himself? When he's sick then I have to take care of everything around the house. With school starting and LO going back to daycare, I'm taking out the long shirts and pants that are size 3T. I am sewing LO's name into his clothes. I asked DH to give me a break by taking kiddo into the shower and instead DH let LO play trains for an hour. That's fine. It's too hot to go outside anyway. But I have been solely responsible for getting the kid back to school and I want my partner to do his share of parenting duties.

I stayed home with kiddo last week on the days I could. DH had a fever on Friday but he doesn't now. He says his head still hurts but it's like come on dude. LO is actually running a slight fever. You're not. I asked you to bathe him. Instead DH took a nice long shower by himself and kiddo sat on my lap. DH is constantly taking the easy road and I am tired of carrying on with the hard work.

I am worried that LO has HFM or something like that. I thought it was his 2 year molars but now he has what looks like a cold sore above his upper lip. I don't see any blisters on his hands and feet and he had a upper respiratory thing the week before school started with a runny nose and now he has a kind of wet cough. Like I said, we'll probably be visiting urgent care this week. I hate how DH makes me out to be the bad guy when I ask for help. I am just about out of ideas and patience.

A bit of light googling tells me use a humidifier, push fluids and rest. But I feel like this is week 3 of trying that. DH has been sick for like a month. Okay maybe 2 weeks. He has Type 2 diabetes now and I just read that he should check his blood sugar every 4 hours if he is sick because illness and infection aggravates the diabetes. I am really at my wits end. The man loves junk food. I can't be his mother. He has to care enough to monitor himself and eat healthy.

Sorry for the rant. I am just suffering over here mentally and I worry that what DH had (fever, vomiting, headache) is coming my way (and LO's too), but when I get it, I won't be able to lay around doing nothing for 4 days. I have a job and a tiny human that do not accept my resignation.

9/9 - I thought this group would appreciate... I was hoping that kiddo would never have to wear a mask. I thought, surely by the time he is two years old we will have solved the pandemic and he will never need to be bothered. Fast-forward to now. I have an appointment next Wednesday for LO to get vaccinated. His first dose. Last time we had an appointment they asked us to leave because the doses never arrived so I'm praying that everything goes well this time. Also, kiddo has to be wearing a mask to enter his classroom every day for daycare. Today was a 10 minute struggle and finally his teacher came out and helped. Kiddo just wouldn't put it on for me. I just wanted to say if your kid doesn't have to wear a mask every day, consider yourself lucky. I know our school plans to continue masking until the end of the fall semester at least (Dec 2022). I just never planned on mask-training my kid. He got this ugly cold-sore type thing on his face, which we all think was due to him chewing the mask and it rubbing on his skin. It went away over the Labor day long weekend. Ugh. TGIF

9/15 - Yesterday was V-Day for my Marchling. Yes it was fitting that it was on his half-birthday. He was exactly 2.5 years old. He got the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine first dose. We will go back in 4 weeks for the second dose. I almost cried when I saw his name on the white COVID-19 vaccine card. We waited so long for this day. He did have a massive poo in the evening about 10 hours after getting the shot, but I'm not sure if it is directly related. No fever. I just love seeing how he faces scary experiences like this so bravely. I'm proud of my little buddy.

9/18 - Ran MUD GIRL. It was fun. It was stressful. It was a group effort. My hands hurt afterwards. Kind of like how you feel after packing up all your stuff and moving into a new house after 4 days of hauling boxes. If I were to do it again, I would wear capri-length leggings (not shorts). I would still wear a hat or visor. I wore contacts and sun glasses, which I would do again. I would definitely wear all the sunscreen. I would arrive early, in which case you could run the course twice. I have no idea how trail runners prevent rock from getting into their shoes, maybe tall socks? That hurt. I also would have worn gloves. My hands got a little (lot) scratched up.

9/19 - Forgot to order Fitlicious. Ended up going back to Mashup Mom. It was delicious and a good change of pace. However, it was a lot of work (>10 hours) cooking everything. It took up all my time on my days off (Monday, Wednesday).

I got a free bookshelf from Buy Nothing and attended Fit4Mom at the Vineyards.

9/21 - Kiddo is tripping ALL over his feet these days. Knees are all bruises and scabs. Face is all black and blue. Our daycare said he looks like a Cobra Kai. ๐Ÿ He already has huge feet and is outgrowing his 3T pajamas. He is so hungry and sleeping a lot so I am guessing he's in a growth spurt. But I'm not ready for my baby to get any bigger ๐Ÿ˜ญ. I have a huge pile of long pants and long sleeves in 3T to sew nametags in ๐Ÿงบ✂️ ๐Ÿชก ๐Ÿงต. I am ready for fall. The cooler weather is giving me life.

I moved a bookshelf from the garage to the upstairs and populated it with books. I attended Fit4Mom at Mason Park and I was the only one there. I had a good chat with the instructor, Jessica and we talked about the podcast https://www.maintenancephase.com/ 

9/24 - Went to the Fall Family Event at Warner Center Park but didn't do the workout. My back was really hurting. Not sure exactly how I injured it. The pain got worse on Sunday. It hurt to sit, lay, stand, walk, everything.

9/26 - Bubs is really into mannequins. He likes to go through family roles like mama, dada, baby, grandma, grandpa, etc. He gets concerned when mannequins don't have heads, feet, arms or hands.

He likes comparing body parts too. Mommy's feet, daddy's feet, Albert's feet. He tickles our feet. He is a giggle monster. He doesn't like it when his pants are too short. He is growing so fast.

People keep asking how much he weighs now and I have no idea.

I canceled our Disneyland reservation because my back was still hurting AND we are in another excessive heat warning (triple digits) and it was just too hot to enjoy the visit. I bought some fall flowers to cheer myself up. I figure if I would have spent $35 to park at Disneyland, I can spend $22 on flowers for my own yard. I got Marigolds (yellow and orange), Mums (yellow and orange), Zinnia (orange) and Celosia (yellow) to give that thanksgiving vibe.

9/29 - Every time all my online purchases arrive, I think, okay now I have everything. I'm not going to buy anything else. But of course something comes up and I make another purchase.

Our cargo bike got stolen out of our garage last month. We bought another bike almost right away, but I also had to replace my helmet AND the shade canopy AND the bell AND the flag AND the little snack bag AND the phone holder. And I'm still discovering things that were in the cargo bike when it was stolen that I'm having to replace. Like the tool bag of all my favorite tools and my favorite portable air pump. I'm trying to be cool and positive about it. But it's been a lot of work getting all that stuff replaced.

Also on the day I bought the replacement bike, I took it out for a test ride. I got a flat tire due to a thorn. So I had to replace the tire and then take it to a bike shop to get the brakes adjusted. They also took a look at one of the disc brakes and bent it back into place. I bought some lube so I can just get all the spinning parts lubed up and then I think we'll be good to go. But I'm sure I'll think of something else it needs. I was able to find pads for the 3-point harness at the most recent consignment sale.

If you are cargo-bike curious or just into women cycling with their family, the movie MOTHERLOAD is really cute. I also read an article about a mom on a cargo bike who competed in the Disaster Relief Trials, and I do believe that a bicycle will be a great resource in the event of mayhem or natural disaster. I'm not a full-time doomsday prepper, but I am prepping adjacent.

October 5th is California Clean Air Day. October 9th is CicLAvia, a day where the city of Los Angeles closes some streets so that pedestrians and cyclists can have a stress-free day to play in the road. These are my deadlines for having the new bike ready for LO and myself.

I bought a set of tiles, which pair with my phone and Alexa and can help me find stuff if it is lost. For example keys. But I also wonder what would have happened if I had one of those in my bike or bike bag. Could I have found my lost/stolen bike? Also, if I had registered my bicycle with the campus PD, would that have made any difference?

Also I almost lost my keys this morning. Also I lost my wallet one time during the summer. Mombrain is so challenging. Also the tiles cost $99 for a set of 4 and I'm already wondering if I should have 8 or if I should just stop losing my shit. My back is 95% good, but it is not 100% better.

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

How is weaning going?

How is weaning going? It sucks, but maybe not as bad as I thought it would. I had nervousness about anxiety since breastfeeding for me is very calming, but it has not been a problem so far. We are in week 3 of school. I thought I might be getting a clog but its a combination of not taking my vitamins and my body adjusting. 

I do feel like my period will come back. I get odd cramps and the feeling that a period is going to flow. But it doesn't come. Then I get a kind of PMS and constipation vibe. So I think the cycle is rebooting.

Kiddo does want to nurse sometimes but then other times he is fine playing or watching his shows. Sometimes he wants to nurse and I encourage him to do other things. I haven't set clear boundaries and rules and I still nurse on demand but I do feel like I can postpone or ask kiddo to wait if it's not a good time for me.

So far I have not pumped at work at all. I have thought about it but I haven't actually done it.

Thursday, September 1, 2022

August 2022 Thoughts

 8/16 - Haha I swore that I would get my mom chop when COVID was over. I guess it's over cause I got a haircut to the collarbone. But I think we are still masking at work and daycare for the fall semester so I am definitely joking. Albert isn't vaccinated yet. I was all excited to do it, we had an appointment with the pediatrician, we were on time and masked. After waiting 30 minutes, we were dismissed because the doses had not arrived. They said "don't call us, we'll call you." So we're back to waiting. But I just couldn't wait any longer to cut my hair. It was ridiculously heavy. Kiddo got his 2nd professional haircut. #2 everywhere and he looks bald. I'll send him with his dad next time.


8/19 = Okay had our daycare orientation today via zoom. They want us to send 3 masks per day. Every day. So I'm on Amazon putting masks in our cart and DH asks me why I'm scrolling looking at masks for 20 minutes. I'm sorry, are these masks going to appear out of nowhere? No hun, all the things in our life are carefully researched, purchased, procured and delivered by me. DH has a sick day from work today so he is seeing the SAHM life up close. I'm sad to go back to work. I worry that I will be miserable. I am afraid of my separation anxiety and hormone changes from weaning. Let me fixate on buying 240 masks for a minute (or 20) if I want to.


I guess it was a busy month because that's all she wrote! I am so happy with my summer wardrobe, I'm actually sorry to have to go back to wearing my work clothes. And our cargo bike got stolen out of our garage. But we got another one.