Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Jan Feb 2023 Thoughts

Jan 2 - Seems like DH is happy to return to work tomorrow. I, on the other hand, have a couple more weeks of winter break. So I scheduled a lot of "mommy & me" type stuff and two Disneyland days. LO is home with me until school resumes on Jan 23.

Kiddo is showing a strong preference for mommy at diaper change and nap time. I am finally feeling like the house is back in shape after we involuntarily got our fences redone. So much carnage to my garden! We traveled Dec 12-18 and Dec 23-27 so we left the fridge totally empty for most of December. Our fridge is now fully restocked and Christmas is put away and we're caught up on laundry.

Unfortunately we stayed at a cheap hotel for Thanksgiving and brought back fleas. It's been such a stress constantly washing sheets, blankets and couch covers and vacuuming and spraying. I regret being a cheapskate!!! It would have cost us $200 to switch hotels but it will cost $2200 to have pest control come over here and spray. So we're trying to treat it ourselves. And by "we" I mean ME because DH isn't really doing anything to help.

It's like when he's on vacation DH just stops doing chores. When I'm on break from school, he relies on me to do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and childcare. While he naps all day and complains about how tired he is and eats junk food even though he is diabetic. And then he complains when I "drag" him along to playdates and outdoor workouts.

I'm also over DH's lazy parenting style. He lets LO watch cartoons all day. Then he wonders why LO has turned into a whiny monster. I prefer to schedule playdates, go to a park, museum, shopping... anything to keep us busy. I let LO watch 1 hour of TV while he is waking up (6-7am) and 1 hour while I cook dinner (4-5pm). But DH just doesn't take a hands-on approach with LO.

I'm on the floor playing cars or outside chasing LO around. I definitely think the whining is 10x worse if LO isn't worn out. I plan busy boxes with sensory stuff or cooking together or go for a walk, there are literally endless things to do together. It does take time to plan and set up and then it takes initiative to get kiddo going on a new task. It seems like DH just doesn't do that, doesn't want to, doesn't think about it, or doesn't know how.

TLDR I love my husband and I love how he supports me in a lot of ways but I feel like we have very different ideas about how to parent.

Feb 27 - I feel like my life consists of chores. We will "graduate" from early intervention on Marchling's bday and I'm kinda glad. We have had a parade of therapists through our house 2x per week for 7 months now and the # of words kiddo says hasn't changed much. Granted he does say mama, dada and wawa but that's all the progress we've seen. I'm tired of cleaning our house for other people's benefit.

We had an assessment last Friday for transition to public school IEP. Now we wait until March 10th to hear the results and recommendations. I know each of us has our challenges with our kiddos and I love ours dearly. Looking forward to whatever is next in our speech therapy journey.

Feb 28 - "The Perfect Mother" by Aimee Molloy was selected by my mom fitness group as a book club read. It's about a bumper group. I am listening to it for free from hoopla in audiobook format.

I bought three plane tickets to visit my parents this summer: one for me, one for Marchling and one for my husband. My mom is being very negative about it. She wants us to stay with her but she's a hoarder. I asked her to clean out a bedroom but she refused. I booked an Airbnb less than 1 mile away and she's complaining that it's too expensive. Welp. My mom says it would have been easier if DH didn't come but I told her that I want him there. It's been since 2018 that he came "home" to Nebraska with me. My mom only wants to see her grandson and she wants him all to herself. Yet, she promised to come visit us every 6 months and has only been here for the birth, 6 months and 1 year birthday.

Last summer when we went to visit Nebraska, just me and Marchling, we got COVID and had to quarantine the whole visit. I'm already regretting summer 2023 and we haven't even got there yet.

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Technology Love


I finally gave in and bought a new computer (laptop). Here is a timeline of previous mobile device purchases. Of course we've bought desktop computers here and there, out of necessity, which made it unnecessary to replace the older laptops for quite a while.

Prior models

6/20/2010

7/10/2020
Intel i53470 32Ghz 
8GB Memory 
500GB HD 
Windows 10 Pro 64bit

1/26/2022
~~HP EliteDesk 800 G1-T~~ desktop (for work)
Intel Core i7-4770 3.4GHz
8GB RAM
2TB Hard Drive
DVDRW
Windows 10 Pro 64Bit

5/11/2022
Fitbit Versa 3 smartwatch

1/19/2023
ASUS E210 M (this is the new one pictured above)

So far I've used it to teach one Excel workshop and I'm getting ready to use it again to teach an Excel workshop this Friday. I had to get it because they upgraded our labs to include projectors which have an HDMI cable and I didn't have a laptop that would do Excel and project. In prior years, we would have booked the computer lab and I wouldn't have needed to Bring My Own Device.

So far, I'm pretty happy with my Versa 3 smartwatch. I like how long it holds a charge (longer than 3 days) and I like how it can pair with my phone to deliver calls and text messages. I can reply with an emoji which is pretty useful. I also have it connected to my Google calendar so it can remind me of upcoming meetings and appointments. I use it a lot to set a timer.

I do think it is getting to be time to replace our phones. We recently had to migrate over from Sprint to T-Mobile. I don't know what type of deal we might be able to get, but I talked it over with Mike and he seems to be thinking we can just wait until one of our phones is completely Kaput before doing the task of shopping and buying something new.

Beauty Regimen for a Toddler Mom

Throughout adulthood, I've gone through many revisions to my beauty regimen. There are factors such as priority (how much do you need to care about your appearance), cost (how much money do you want to spend on products), and time (how much time do you have in the day to devote to grooming). Definitely there is an absolute minimum of things you should do for yourself and it's debatable where that minimum lies. I'm definitely trying to get on board with once or twice daily face washing, daily sunscreen, and I've gotten into the Curly Girl Method for hair care.

With all the other things one has to shop for and maintain an inventory list of (groceries, diapers, clothing, gas, etc) sometimes beauty goes to the bottom of my priority list. It's expensive and tempting to cut corners. But I have a skin condition (rosacea) that is itchy and painful if not managed. I also tend to get an itchy flaky scalp if I neglect my haircare. I live in a city that has pretty bad air quality and low humidity and lots of sun, so if I don't take care of these things, they go to shit pretty fast.

I've written detailed descriptions of what worked for me at earlier stages of life. In 2011 I was teaching at the Claremont Colleges, which meant that appearance was a high priority and I had lots of money. During pregnancy, my priority was eliminating any carcinogens that might pass to the developing fetus. The newly postpartum time was hellish. I wasn't sleeping and I was focusing so much on caring for a newborn. But finally now I think I can report on what is working for me as a mom.

Pre-Pregnancy
http://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2011/10/formula.html

Pregnancy
http://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2019/12/pregnancy-part-18.html

Newly Postpartum
https://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2020/05/postpartum-part-10-beauty.html 



These three products together are a good haircare brand. I use the mask whenever it starts looking very dry like straw. I can find the first two at Target but  I had to order the mask on Amazon. I really thought I would use "dry shampoo" and I spent a lot of time researching it, but I never really got into it.

DevaCurl Low Poo is good between shampoos. I shampoo weekly and do a deep cleanse (Suave) once per month, according to the Curly Girl Method. In between washes, I refresh with the low-poo. Once I've washed and set the hair with the gel (below), I don't touch it. I don't brush it. I plop it onto a long-sleeved shirt and wrap it up for 15 minutes, then take it down and put in some butterfly clips to give it volume in the front. Then I take the clips out when it's dry and "scrunch out the crunch" and don't touch it after that.


I cleaned up my drawer at work and this is what all I found. I got the Surf Spray and DevaFresh spray to refresh my curls between washes. Now I had very long pandemic hair when I bought those and now I have a kind of long bob so I don't really use them now. Also I don't like the strong aroma of the DevaFresh but it does do a good job of making the curls look good again.

The think Everyday Face tinted sunscreen SPF 30 is something I can't live without anymore. I also love the think magnesium deodorant charcoal & sage is also SO GREAT. CT Organics Shea Butter Coconut Lotion is a must-have for dry skin. As well as lanolin, which is great for cracked dry skin. There are some things that I bought as a nursing mom that I still use and lanolin is one of them. I love the CT Organics natural deodorant and the company is owned by a mompreneur so I love supporting her. Degree is the antiperspirant and Tom's is another "natural" deodorant, which both have an expiration date of 2018 LOL which is definitely 5 years ago. So I'm gonna throw them away now.


Clinique redness solutions was brought to my attention when we were planning our wedding, if I'm not mistaken and I've been a loyal customer since then. But I have found that Johnson's Head-To-Toe Baby Wash and Shampoo is a good mild facial cleanser that I use from time to time. Clinique dramatically different moisturizing lotion + is my favorite and go-to daily lotion for the face. I did also purchase Facial Cleansing Wipes for sensitive skin from Target. I use Pond's Cold Cream first and remove it with the cleansing wipe. Then add moisture from the Clinique lotion. That seems to give me a refresh without having to put my face over the sink and splash water everywhere like some silly Neutrogena commercial. I don't have time for that. Plus our counters are really high here at work and I can't lean over the sink without using a footstool.


Likewise, just as I use the baby shampoo as a cleanser, I also borrow my kid's sunscreen. This one is the absolute best. If I don't care about looking like a washed-out ghost that is. And also I have to remember to take this mineral sunscreen off. If I don't, it really clogs my pores. Speaking of clogged pores, I have this All About Clean 2-in-1 Charcoal Mask + Scrub. I use it as a mask and it does wonders. I also have the Pacifica brand curl refreshing spray, which I leave at home. I like the smell much better, it's nice without being overpowering, and it does an okay job of making my curls look better. Some of these sprays claim to be a scalp refresh so it's possible I'm just not using it correctly, but it does give a cooling sensation if you spray near the scalp and massage it in a bit to your roots.


I bought the Pond's Dry Skin Cream on accident. I thought it was a cleanser but it's only a moisturizer. So now I use the stack here. Cleanse with the cold cream, wipe it off with a washcloth and then moisturize (slug) with the dry skin cream. I wear this after a day out, so it's more of a weekend or nighttime ritual. And you can see that I'm never far from a batch of CT Organics moisturizing lotion. It's great for a foot massage, a leg massage, a hand cream, rough elbows, you name it. I don't put it on my face though.


After I became a mom, this lotion is really the only thing I wanted to put on my face. It's hella expensive but it really soothes angry skin. And if you have angry skin, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't have angry skin, I'm happy for you. Skip this. But if you have been out in the sun for 8 hours and the wind has been blowing and your skin is angry, this cream will really help you out. You will wake up the following morning and look like you just had the best night of sleep ever. I don't know how it works but it allows my skin to repair itself and stop being angry. I don't use it every day because of the price, but when I need it, I go for it.


This brand, Jurlique, came into my life from Buy Nothing. A friend gave me a slide. I didn't want it so I gave it to another mom who wouldn't take it without giving me something in return. I said it wasn't necessary but she said that her mother (or MIL) kept pushing her to take better care of her skin and she is a twin mom so she's twice as busy as me. I wasn't so sure that this would be something helpful for me, but it is a cleansing oil which smells fantastic and botanical. Again, I like that it is something that can be used without splashing a bunch of water all around. I apply 3 pumps of it to my fingertips and then rub it all over my face. I feel like it removes salt and pollution (grit) very well and gets trapped stuff out of my pores. Then I wet a washcloth and use that to take off the cleanser. After that, I apply the cream. It's very thick and also smells like a garden. I sometimes feel like the day after using these two, my skin is a bit redder than usual but I also feel like it's better than NOT washing my face at all. Like given the choice between using this or doing nothing, using this is way better.

Honestly, I would love for a dermatologist to hand me the quick fix for my rosacea but from what I've read, there are many forms and causes and very few actual "magic bullet" treatments that work for everyone. This is where I'm at now and I do use the tinted sunscreen to cover the redness and that makes me feel a bit less insecure. If I'm very good about wearing sunscreen, it tends to not flare up as much. But sometimes I think the tinted sunscreen actually causes the flare-ups. Something in the solvent or the fragrance. It's lightly scented like in a tropical way. I am interested in trying a product with azelaic acid or metronidazole, if one were available OTC. I heard Paula's Choice is good.

Thursday, February 2, 2023

New Semester, New Wardrobe

I had started making purchases for this semester before it started, so here's a list of what I bought in order of how much I love it and how much it has helped me.

Kelly Bag with matching Pumparoo $39 = new $160. This is a game-changer. I would say if you're thinking about getting a pumping bag but you don't know how long you'll be pumping, this one is awesome even for just going to work. The pump compartment is a cooler so I can put my lunch in there and not have to take a separate bag. Then when I get to work, I flatten that compartment and put all my work stuff in there and it all fits. Then at the end of the day, I put all my dirty dishes in the main compartment and it all fits. Amazing! If I were to change the design at all, I would love to have a chest clip and some reflective details, but I'll work on adding that stuff myself.


Simple Joys by Carter's Baby Everyday Diaper Backpack, I got this off Buy Nothing for Free = $50 new. This is my new fav diaper bag. I love how it clips on to the stroller. I love the wipes pocket on the side. It's a great park bag.

Signature by Levi Strauss & Co. Gold Label Women's Size Totally Shaping Pull-On Skinny Jeans
Levi's $111 for 4 pairs (size 20) definitely follow the size chart, do not go by what size Amazon recommends for you! I had to send the first pair back for a refund. So far I haven't put them in the dryer but husband did and it didn't seem to ruin it. The waistband wasn't exactly right, but it got into place once I put them on. I can't speak to durability at this point since it's only week 2 but I can say that I don't dread getting dressed in the morning. I throw on one of these and go.


Latched Mama Snuggle Up Nursing Sweatshirt 2x/3x $58. I am using this WAY more than I thought I would. I absolutely love it and so does Albert. I can put him in there either forward or rear facing. It's been colder than usual with some days in the 30s and I can wear him to school so he stays nice and warm and cozy and I don't have to worry about him freezing in the stroller.



I never regret anything I buy from Latched Mama. I'm already using the vest daily and I love it. I did get some holiday-specific stuff which I packed away until next year. I do feel like a crazy person for it, but also I get so many compliments on the snuggle-up.


I can't believe I almost forgot to write about these new shoes. I love them so much. I realized after a bit of shopping that it's better to know the number of this year's (latest) model and then shop specifically for last year's. That's how I found the Ghost 14 for the cheapest. The other two are "this year" models, but I couldn't find the previous year models in my size. They were sold out.

One of my colleagues asked me, "where are your crazy pants?" I guess I was becoming notorious for the LuLaRoe pants with wild prints. I don't mind, of course.

My workout pants that I love are
CRZ YOGA Women's Naked Feeling High Waisted Yoga Pants with Pockets Workout Leggings Camo - 25 Inches Camo Multi 16 25'' X-Large

They also make shorts
CRZ YOGA Women's Naked Feeling Long Biker Shorts - 10'' High Waist Workout Yoga Gym Running Spandex Shorts Side Pockets Stone-Washed Indigo X-Large

I have both 10" inseam and 8" inseam. I kind of like the shorter ones because they let my knees cool down. But both are great! People in my life keep complaining about their yoga pants and I can't say enough good things about these. I've had the pants for 2 years and I wash and dry them with all my other laundry (no special treatment) and they are so durable.