Feeling Flaky

This semester is nearly over. We have just a few precious hours for missing, late and just completed work to be uploaded to our learning management system (LMS) Canvas. It has been a difficult week to say the least.

We were under threat for a mass shooting, and the reaction of our students was such that they called off just one day of finals week. Sometimes a word pops into my head to describe how I'm feeling and then I look up the definition of that word and it is actually perfect.

Our reaction as a campus community to racist graffiti and a subsequent handwritten note has been flaky. I know people are still feeling uncertain about their safety. It has been a challenge to reassure our students and ourselves that the campus can protect us.

I feel my patience is thin and breaking into small pieces. But on the bright side, our department pot-luck is in just 30 minutes. I made mini-quiches that have a flaky crust. I made cupcakes for dear husband's birthday but messed up the icing recipe by adding all the ingredients at once.

Luckily, I was able to salvage the messed up frosting and make a gingerbread bundt cake. But I flaked out on that and forgot to add the molasses, so I hope it tastes OK. I restarted a second batch of icing and that one came out well, but I forgot to bring it today.

I bought all the ingredients for the salad but forgot to pressure-cook the pinto beans. Luckily, I made lentils and rice yesterday so I just used that instead. I also forgot to bring the onion and cheese that I bought over here to school. I just had so much on my mind!

I used to get disappointed about these things and dwell on negatives, but I have been practicing letting go of perfection and focusing instead of making the best of things and adapting and NOT stressing over what could have been but instead celebrating and elevating what IS.

I am so grateful that I made it a point to include redundancy and multiple feedback loops into my course this semester. It made it much less stressful to adapt to shifting circumstances. I am also grateful for technology, having many assignments in the cloud was a godsend.

If there is anyone out there that can suggest a winter training course (bootcamp) for Google Classroom, I would be interested. I appreciate my colleagues that helped support me during this time. The strategies that helped me diffuse negative energy: yoga, coloring mandalas, metta meditation.

On a very bright note, my students delivered their Pecha Kucha presentations in a way that was completely unexpected and a joy to watch. Giving the students the classroom space and technology, while assisting them by putting their content into a timed format, was just the right balance.

It's hard to set goals for next year since I don't have any idea what I'll be teaching. But I know I did some things very well this semester and I am extremely proud of the progress that I made. I know I don't want to travel or be wild over break, I just want to stay home and get centered.