I was told there would be weight loss

Breastfeeding will melt off the pounds they said...lies!

I have joined several Facebook groups devoted to weight loss while breastfeeding.

IIFYM stands for "if it fits your macros." I was doing very well losing weight on the Zita West IVF diet, which when I look back I see that I ate greater than 25% of my calories in protein and less than 40% of my calories in carbs. So that would be 40-25-35.

Russell, J.B, et al. “Does Changing a Patient's Dietary Consumption of Proteins and Carbohydrates Impact Blastocyst Development and Clinical Pregnancy Rates from One Cycle to the next?” Fertility and Sterility, vol. 98, no. 3, 2012, p. S47.

Then when I was pregnant, I followed the Brewer diet. It dictated that one should aim for over 100 grams of protein per day. One should have two eggs, 4 glasses of milk, yellow or orange fruit or vegetable, 2 servings of leafy greens every day. Also include a whole baked potato 3 times per week.

Now that I am breastfeeding I looked into a nutrition calculator and found that I should be getting 150-200 grams of protein per day. This seems like a lot. But definitely something I had not been doing hence why I was not losing weight. For the carbs the range is larger, between 100-250 grams depending on whether I am doing low-medium-or-high carb varieties. It seems like the recommendation is to start tracking and weighing yourself. Then if it's working, keep doing it. If it's not working, adjust the ratios and try again.

The Zone diet is all in the numbers: 40-30-30. Zone dieters balance their meals and snacks so that their calories come from a mix of 40 percent carbohydrates, 30 percent protein and 30 percent “friendly” fats.

The defaults on MyFitnessPal are 50-20-30.

As a temporary measure, a high-protein diet is effective for weight loss. Something like 30-40-30.

So far I am able to do 40-20-40 but I'm not having good success getting the ratios to 40-25-35.

IIFYM Postpartum and Breastfeeding suggests 50-25-25 as an example.
Here is a calculator https://www.milkmademacros.com/flexible-dieting-macro/

The "lower carb" option is 20-40-40.
The "moderate carb" option is 35-30-35.
The "higher carb" option is 50-30-20.

I've been tracking for 3.5 weeks now, have not seen a great deal of weight loss. But I can say I haven't gained so that's something.

As my mom says, it's also about portion control. I'm using 2,280 Calories per day as my target.

This month

This month I had an accidental good sleeping baby. My baby napped in his swing for the first time in 4 months. It's been an hour! I don't know what to do with myself. I've already vacuumed the living room and cleaned the kitchen. I'm about to fold some laundry I guess. I did give him a bath and feed him before putting him in the swing, and Huckleberry said it was his nap time, but I put him there expecting to just do a few things and then put him down in the usual way. I'm afraid to leave him unattended in case he wakes up. He's almost too big for the swing now and he keeps trying to sit up in it when it's designed for him to be leaning back. Also, side note, my mom is coming for 2 weeks next Tuesday. I am beyond excited to have some more help. This is partly why I'm trying to clean. I want her to be able to enjoy quality time with LO. She lives 1700 miles away and hasn't been back since he was born. She stayed with us for his first week of life on the outside.

This month I set a timer for something (cooking, laundry) and then got naptrapped while DH was out. You'd think I would learn to set timers on my phone. On the plus side, I made lentils, carrot and green bean baby foods.

This month I had a panic attack when I looked at my baby's head. It looked like he has two coin-sized wounds on it. I racked my brain because I was trying to think where it could have come from. It looked like the skin had been rubbed off or a burn. Then I turned on the light and saw they were brown and not pink. Then I realized it was spilled coffee that had dried. And I could breathe again. Damn I love this baby.

This month I vacuum when I have time/energy/help. Kind of when the stars align. I keep dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I have a baby swing that looks on to the kitchen. I have an exersaucer in the garage by the washer and dryer. I have a rocker in the bedroom / bathroom. Baby watches me do chores. It helps pass the time in the day. What I am struggling with is meal planning and cooking.

This month my mom is visited for 2 weeks. It was so much easier to cook and clean and prepare for and teach my classes with an extra pair of hands. I don't know what I'll do when she leaves. 😭 My husband has been watching the baby during my office hours and classes. They seem to be establishing a good rapport. Dad feeds solids. So far he's tried plums, pears, apples, banana and rice cereal. Next we'll try some vegetables (carrots, green beans, squash) and protein (lentils, chicken, eggs). I was worried that solids would interfere with breastfeeding, but it doesn't seem like it has. Baby will nurse even right after the solid feeding. We had a fun family meal with LO in his Tripp Trapp and playing with his own spoon. We are also giving him a water filled sippy cup to play with.

This month my noise-canceling headphones did not at all take the edge off of a caregiver trying to put my baby down for a nap one floor up. My students were asking in the Zoom chat: is your baby alright?

This month I was so starving. Yet gaining weight. While BF. FML.

This month we tried mashed sweet potato and baby started choking. There were 3 adults there and we quickly got LO unstrapped from the high chair and did the back-whack to clear baby's airway. I wasn't stressed and I wasn't surprised. Just moments before it happened I was saying it was too thick and lumpy. Luckily baby wasn't traumatized because he wanted another bite after drinking some breastmilk. So we thinned and blended the rest before freezing it into cubes.

This month I spoiled my baby. What's beautiful is that my mom is visiting. Before she came out she was all for sleep training. She was like, you can't let them fall asleep on you... they will never learn to self-soothe. Then I had her watch the baby during one of my classes. Huckleberry was predicting a nap. He fussed a lot until the last 15 min of class. I went up to the bedroom to find baby asleep on her chest. My time with this little dude is so precious and my mothering instincts tell me he can self soothe just fine when he wants to. Why spend hours crying and insisting that he sleeps in his crib when he sleeps just fine without crying and I get cuddles? I also feel, like a birth plan, sleep training is a myth. It's some idea propagated to give parents an illusion of control, but it can also make parents feel anxious and like things that happen naturally aren't happening the way it says in the book. I feel my baby will grow up too fast, why rush to force him to be independent? I wish COVID wasn't a thing and I was still going to campus. I have good friends in the child and adolescent development department that could have helped me 'Emily Oster' this. Sometimes it helps to have scientific basis, sometimes I guess it's better to go by the individual child and family situation and do what is right for those circumstances. My baby was born with a hernia that got bad (his scrotum would be filled with his intestines until it was the size of an apple) when he cried. So I kind of have an aversion to him crying, even though his hernia has been repaired.

This month I prematurely cried in the shower thinking about how hard it will be when my mom leaves. 😭 I am extra grateful because lots of us are without family support due to COVID. Luckily my mom has been brave enough to take the risk of air travel. She's been feeding LO solids and supervising lots of reading and playtime. It's very validating to hear her say, "I had forgotten how much work it is keeping LO entertained." I also appreciate her saying, "I was 15 years younger than you when I had my first. Think how much more energy you would have had." I love soaking up the baby snuggles, and it is great to share those with my mom while I can. I sometimes feel like I have to put on a brave face and make parenting look effortless. It was fantastic to have my mom here during our weekly zoom call. She observed how difficult it is to keep the baby entertained and looking cute for a 75 minute video chat. Usually she is on the receiving end and doesn't see what goes into making that call a joyous moment.

This month I distinguish between "full feed" with multiple let downs and "snack" which happens during the day a lot now. If there's ANYTHING interesting going on, it'll be a snack feed where he clearly gets milk but doesn't linger. Maybe 5 min. For a full feed, it will be about 30 min with maybe a nap after.

This month I felt that tiny bit of rage when everyone in the house has pooped and showered and you're naptrapped. No shower. No time to poop. I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm and thought it would be cute to snuggle with my husband. He was like, "WTF and why are you crowding me in this bed?" I guess I should have taken the time to poop and shower. I hated seeing myself on a zoom class last night. My face is all red and splotchy. My hairline has receded. I feel stressed and it shows. Today I cried just snuggling LO. May be hormones. It's the 3rd week of the semester. Dunno how I will make it to week 16. I teach a 3 hour "night lab" 2 nights per week. Our longest meetings have only been 2 hours and I can't stand being away from my baby. I hate this. I also teach 2 x 75 min lectures, 2x per week and those aren't so bad. We're starting experiments in week 5 that may take the whole 3 hours. Keeping LO up late sucks. He's already struggling to sleep, both during the day and at night. It breaks my heart to see him all grouchy from too little sleep and not enough cuddles. DH is doing his best at keeping LO entertained and he's doing great at offering solids. My mom is here for another week to help us through this transition, but it's still hard. I don't miss the "career woman" I was before becoming a mom. Instead I miss the SAHM I was during my maternity leave but I can't afford to not work. In Spring, we might do day care. I might be teaching more classes. DH and I were just saying this morning that COVID continues to make everything more fluid, less certain.

This month my mom laughed when I showed her my son's baby book. For "world leaders" I put COVID-19. The virus is holding all of us hostage. Academia is a very grumpy place right now. Sending virtual hugs. Watched Disney's COCO tonight 💀 my son cried for a second helping of avocado at dinner 🥑 and we swear he is saying "mama" when he wants me 😭 My mom is here and she INSISTED on feeding LO Cherrios. She broke each "o" into 4 teeny pieces. It works ok. My baby is EBF but has been having purees for 3 weeks now. LO eats 2 cheerios per day in 8 teeny bites. I pretty much hold my breath and watch closely the whole time. 😳 I still take 1000 mg of lecithin per day.

This month we installed a convertable carseat. We have a long baby so the infant carseat was just about too small. My mom left. LO had his 6 month pediatrician appointment. I have all the feels. My baby wants to stand all day. We call it "ironing board" when he goes rigid and whines until he's in a standing position. He just rolled front to back unassisted for the first time yesterday.

This month I still get engorged when my baby is going through a growth spurt. Sometimes he nurses every hour in a 24 hour period for 3 days in a row but then goes back to eating every 2-3 hours.

This month I spent 2.5 hours and $16 to get a replacement tray for a hand-me-down Evenflo compact fold high chair. As DH pointed out, we could have bought a new one for $35 more but I am all about upcycling. Gripe: the Evenflo company didn't make it clear the model number of the chair, lots of models had replacement trays sold out, it isn't clear which models share a tray design and I don't know FOR SURE that what I ordered will fit the chair I have. Also they don't send confirmation email with order tracking info and my order number on the screen was quickly blocked by a pop-up about "refer a friend" Gratitude: I found an Evenflo exersaucer at the curb near my house in early May. I ordered a replacement spring for one of the legs and feet for the toy arch. They did arrive and we installed them and my baby is highly entertained in the exersaucer. I keep it in the garage for baby to watch me while I'm doing laundry. DH uses it to park baby while "tailgating" in our garage while waiting for me to finish a zoom class meeting. I'm a teacher!

This month I cried the entire week after my mom left just trying to keep up the routine we established. 3x per day solids for LO and 3 home-cooked meals for the adults. Not to mention a workout for me and 3-4 naps for baby. I am WFH with 3 college classes so that's 14 hours per week on Zoom plus prep and grading time. My husband tells me not to think of it all in a lump like that. I used to just go with the flow and take it one hour at a time, but since my mom left all I can think about is how much there is to do and how I can't possibly do it all. Tuesday night my husband sautéed some veggies for a quiche which I tried to bake yesterday. It came out underdone since I had forgotten to set a timer and I just pulled it out at a time that was convenient for LO's feeding and nap schedule. Then DH tried to eat a nearly raw pie crust and asked me all these questions like "how much longer should it be cooked" and "at what temperature" and I told him I barely had the mental and emotional bandwidth to throw it in the oven the first time and I certainly wasn't willing to help him troubleshoot it. I said "just throw it away." He was pretty shocked because I normally don't give up like that. To try to help me, he put the dirty laundry in the washer on his way to work. It's shocking how I feel like that's like tipping your waitress $0.01. You know? Like a tiny drop in the ocean of how much more help I need. And he acts so worn out after watching LO for 75 minutes (the duration of one of my Zoom classes). We are going without childcare. Everyone's like oooh, think how much money you're saving. I'm like yeah. That's true. Then this morning my husband says "Friday I'm taking off work to ride the train." We have a nonprofit based on educating people in Los Angeles how to ditch their car and take a bicycle on public transit. We agreed that our advocacy work would be paused during baby and COVID time. I have already asked him to CANCEL this session in the past but I guess his brain just couldn't retain the reasons why because he rescheduled it. And it's going to take HOURS for something OPTIONAL. WHY???? And then he says, "you and LO can come too." Uh no... pandemic much? WTH? Nonessential trip. No thank you. I'LL just be over here at home running the household like a MFing boss. And parenting our spawn. And working my paying part-time job. You go have fun with your little friend dear.

This month at the pediatrician I got samples of vitamin D drops. Add 0.25mL via syringe into the morning iron-fortified rice cereal. Lunch is puree of plum, banana, sweet potato, squash, carrots or apples. Dinner is puree of avocado. Have made but not yet introduced: green beans, lentils. Have not made or introduced: tofu, beef, chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, eggs, nut butter. DH gave baby a spoonful of milk leftover from his sugar cereal (Lucky Charms) and LO got a rash on his cheeks. So we did a few repeat exposures. DH said, "well if he doesn't like carrots, we can sweeten them with honey." I have to educate and keep a closer eye on that man!

This month I started watching "Workin' Moms" on Netflix. It's been a month of me working so I started watching. Definitely relatable, but also kind of made me sad because it centers around a f2f support group, which we don't have due to COVID. At the same time, yesterday we found two little paychecks in the mail for extra work I did last year pre-baby and a teeny glimmer of pride sparked inside me knowing I have rejoined the paid workforce. I know I can spend money even if I am doing the unpaid labor of raising our child, but a $1 with two or three zeros after it on top of my regular pay is kind of sweet. If only it weren't for COVID, I would go get a massage. More in savings I guess.

This month I resented my husband because he has autonomy. He is still working for pay (full-time, salary) and doing non-profit volunteering. Some f2f, some on Zoom. But he leaves the house every day. I ask him not to tell me about the volunteering because I resent that he has the autonomy to do it. While I'm over here paying attention to LO nearly 24/7 with the exception of my work (part-time, paid) that is 11 hours per week. During that time, DH takes LO outside so his crying doesn't interrupt my classes. DH doesn't even watch LO during my office hours. And during my labs, I take a breastfeeding break. So LO is nearby but not in the room. This morning I just asked DH when he would be home but he didn't appreciate my tone of voice. My nipples hurt. I feel drained.

This month, I found out that my baby loves drinking from a cup. We have these. I didn't buy them knowing LO would go straight to drinking from a cup, but he LOVES it. I call it "drowning practice" because it's pretty terrifying to watch, but the baby just laughs and keeps going back for more.

This month, I was teaching my class about infectious diseases and learned that the word "quarantine" comes from the Italian meaning 40 days. During the 12th century Plague, people self-quarantined. Imagine if we had only been impacted for 40 days. We're on day 186 now.

This month, the Wonder Weeks suggested that during a leap, baby might lose their appetite. That wasn't the case for us. We survived leap 5. While pregnant, we planned on sending LO to daycare since my husband works full time and I work part time. Now with classes virtual and my husband working only on call, we're getting by on our own, just the 3 of us. My husband is older than me, he's turning 48 this year, so we are definitely struggling to keep our energy up and joke all the time about how old we'll be when our son hits milestones like graduation, marriage and becoming a parent himself. I guess it gives us some incentive to take better care of ourselves. I like being a mom much more than I thought I would. I wish I had started having children sooner, but if I had, I wouldn't have had paid maternity leave. I wish I could be a SAHM. My maternity leave was so great. Juggling work and childcare is a real challenge. I look forward to being out of debt and post-COVID so we can do more traveling with LO.

This month, I took a weekend shower and immediately after self foot massage on my clean feet while DH rubs my shoulders and neck. It has been remarkably restorative. Sometimes I log in to my workout group, sit on a stack of pillows and breastfeed LO. It's like saying no to a workout and yes to a meditation. Then I join in on just the cool-down stretching, which is sometimes sun salutations, while LO is practicing tummy time. I have also had good success with Cosmic Kids yoga on YouTube being highly entertaining to LO while getting me moving. Even though it's a yoga sequence designed for kiddos, I still find my body is in a better state after doing it than before. We've been meal planning and cooking. While it is a lot of work, I have lost 4 pounds in 4 weeks. And I have a lot to lose. Mind you I gained about 1/2 pound per week since LO's birth until I finally turned it around by eating more protein and home-cooked food.

This month, my weekday showers were three eensy-weensy spiders, one B-I-N-G-O and one Hickory-Dickory Dock. Seriously my husband does not comprehend how tiring it is to not be able to shower without doing a literal song-and-dance. To his credit, he left me with a fridge full of healthy precooked meals, a clean kitchen and he put away the clean laundry. It was a beautiful sight to wake up to this morning.

One month ago

One month ago, I noticed LO seems to have liked to be worn a lot more when he was smaller. Now he's in and out of a carrier in like 20 minutes. But hey, 20 minutes is better than zero. 

One month ago, I wrote that my son nursed 5-6x in daytime and 2-4x overnight. He nurses to sleep, but he generally pops off after 30 minutes. He eats on one side per feed. This is relatively new behavior. My LO used to sleep through the night so I would MOTN pump. Now LO is so active during the day, he has trouble calming down to eat. This is why I think he is needing to eat more at night. He sometimes only feeds for 5-7 minutes during the daytime and keeps popping on and off to look around.

One month ago, I tie-dyed some 12m and 18m onesies. It was heart-wrenching to speed through the process of tieing and dyeing while DH tried to put the screaming baby to bed. I untied them and rinsed them in the sink while DH was at work and LO was crying in his swing. I sorted them into bins according to size. My baby was already too big for his 9m clothes. I measured him today. He is 28.5 inches long. He weighs 16 lbs 9 oz. His head is 44 cm around. So for his age, he is in the 99th percentile for length and the 53rd percentile for weight. 

One month ago, I realized the pack 'n' play with the "napper" level, bassinet and quick-release changing table had a weight limit of 15 lbs. I started to look for other changing tables and some have a weight limit of only 20 pounds! I put a changing pad on top of my dresser in the dining room. My husband has an aversion to changing baby on a dining table or other food-related surface. It's working very well.

One month ago, I wrote that prior to becoming a mom, I didn't comprehend the bond that forms between mothers and babies. I have a deep well of patience and energy for this LO. I feel insane when he is crying and when I can't see or hear him. Even though he is outside my body now, I still feel we're connected through breastfeeding. Sometimes I feel he's like a parasite, but in the best way. More like symbiosis. I call him my little barnacle. I didn't expect to enjoy pregnancy so much. I had terrible PMS and painful periods in adolescence and adulthood, but while on hormones for my egg retrieval and pregnant, I felt more womanly and feminine than ever. I felt all "Sugar and spice. And everything nice," when I had been pretty bitchy before. I didn't expect to appreciate my breasts this much. Now I feel they have fulfilled their true purpose and I am grateful to have carried them all these years.

One month ago, I was exhausted. I was unsuccessful at getting LO to nap in PNP instead of on my lap. I made pear, plum and butternut squash purees for LO. I washed the toys we bought from the consignment sale. I tried to find Zoom-friendly tops that fit over my milk-filled breasts, and found 6 that kinda worked.

One month ago, baby started waking up every 1.5-2 hours all night long. I guess it was leap 5.

One month ago, I ran a load of laundry with no detergent. Had too much inner debate about whether to wash a couple of my shirts. Let it smell like me so baby can nap with it... or wash all? Felt moisture on my arm. Wondered if it was my own sweat, spit-up, or did baby just pee on me? And do I want to know the answer? Had my first day teaching online yesterday with DH watching LO upstairs during. Baby made it 65 minutes without crying. Those last 10 minutes of class were the hardest. Hopefully it will get better.

Two months ago

A little over 2 months ago, baby Albert refused bottles half the time. He had cradle cap and scratched his forehead, so we had to put him in a hat and mittens. I gave up the MOTN pump 3 months ago. I got rid of the bassinet, which we hardly ever used. We started using the white noise machine continuously throughout the night instead of just for 15, 30 or 60 minutes. I was thinking, "I just can't remember anything anymore." But that isn't true. I remember lots of things, just not the same stuff I used to.

Two months ago I had THE BEST day! Doughnuts for breakfast. Took LO to the swimming pool. He was using this float and sunglasses while wearing this swimsuit and hat and these aquasocks . My friend gave us two used swim diapers Aqua Leisure and Finis. Albert happily kicked around for a full 45 minutes. I wouldn't characterize myself as someone who LOVES swimming, but it's been so hard to be cooped up inside due to COVID, I splurged on all this swim gear. Our condo complex has a community pool. There were no other families there today so it was very peaceful. We spotted squirrels, hummingbirds and dragonflies. We had homemade enchiladas for lunch with homemade brownies for dessert. Yes, the baby missed a few naps and feeds due to all the excitement, which we tried desperately to catch up between 3-8pm. IMHO it was worth the trouble of getting all the equipment because now I feel confident that I can take LO down to the pool any morning until the water temperature drops below 80 deg F (it's 84 now, not a heated pool). I can tread water or walk laps with my baby and not worry about overheating or walking too far away from home and LO having a meltdown (which has happened). The pool is about 300 ft from our unit. I take him in a stroller because wet baby is slippery, and it's easier to transport our things in the stroller than to carry everything on my body.

Two months ago, we picked up our purchases from the online consignment sale, clothes and toys for the next several months. I feel so excited to be prepared for another season of quarantine! Not saying I am a "doomsday prepper," but maybe just prepping adjacent. The funniest thing about these COVID times is that I keep imagining the preppers saying, "I told you! See how our stockpiles have been working out? I knew there was a pandemic-a-comin." I grew up in Nebraska where there are lots of extreme weather events, so I tend to stock canned food, batteries and water, etc. I feel like Californians are kind of laissez-faire which is strange because "the big one" is coming and they do annual earthquake drills and have a disaster preparedness fair. But our stockpile of nuts, grains and beans has lasted us through the shortages at the grocery stores. And now I am thankful, as I said, to have 9m, 12m and 18m clothes. My baby is in 6-9m now. His feet are comically big for the 0-6m socks. I have no idea what toys LO will like, so I sent my mom the link to the online store and it was really fun virtually shopping with her. We spent like 2.5 hours scouring the inventory, and she gave me lots of ideas about what kind of toys he will need in the next 6 months. This consignment sale only happens twice per year.

Two months ago, I noted that our baby became OBSESSED with the dog.

Two months ago, I thought there weren't enough cute pictures of baby on my Instagram. I was awakened by a magnitude 4.2 earthquake. After feeding LO at 3:30 and having just gone back to sleep. DH gets up for work at 5 so I just laid in bed thinking about vintage baby photo shoots. We started calling the baby "earthquake cowboy" because he rides it out.

Two months ago, I celebrated Harry Potter's 40th birthday by doing Cosmic Kids yoga and watching the movies on iTunes. I think I got as far as year 3.

Two months ago, I had a nightmare that I was a gestational surrogate and I had to give up the baby. I think I was nervous about going back to work.

Two months ago, I put LO in a carrier and walked or danced him for 30-40 minutes to calm him down before nursing and putting him to sleep. I sobbed over his crib because I didn't know how we would manage taking care of the baby and working. 

Two months ago, I was so exhausted last about an hour before LO's bedtime that I put baby in a carrier and walked in circles around our apartment complex. Just to calm the baby (and the dog and TBH myself). I usually like "going somewhere" on a walk but for some reason, it felt good to walk laps. It did feel a bit like being 14 months pregnant. I was looking forward to mastering the "back carry."

Two months ago, baby was drooling so much I had him wear a bandana bib all day every day. I had to change it 3x per day. Don't know what that was about since he still hasn't cut any teeth yet.

Two months ago, I started back to work. Babywearing with a teething necklace. Singing songs and bouncing baby to keep him calm. Now Huckleberry is saying I'm 37 minutes late for LO's nap. It's so hard to get work done and still follow baby's hunger and sleep cues. I can get so focused on computer tasks that I completely lose track of time. All I did for work in those 2 hours was to download last year's syllabi from the cloud, upload them to Office 365 for editing, copy course content on the LMS from last year's classes into this year's shells, and send 2 emails to colleagues. I know it's progress, but there's less than 3 weeks until classes start. I always want to be a great teacher. I look at the way I structured the courses a year ago and I want to overhaul it to be more pandemic-friendly, but I don't see myself having time to do it.

Two months ago, I defrosted frozen breastmilk overnight in the refrigerator. Tasted it. Yuck! Baby wouldn't drink it. Maybe LO is just rejecting all bottles. Maybe milk is just yucky. Maybe defrosting technique is not right. Not looking forward to troubleshooting this problem. I felt sad and stressed about going back to work in less than 3 weeks.

Two months ago, we threw out all frozen food that we had prepared for the fourth trimester. If I haven't eaten it by now, I probably won't, right? Also did a 24h fridge thaw of frozen breastmilk and it was disgusting. Going to compare with a 5m quick thaw in boiling water. Then compare with freshly pumped milk. DH refuses to participate in taste test.

Two months ago, I did it. I did a breastmilk taste test. Fresh. 24h refrigerated. Frozen and quick defrost. Frozen and 24h defrost. OMG the frozen was disgusting!!! Bye bye freezer stash. 🤮 Edit to add: appreciate the supportive comments but my baby will not currently take a bottle. We ended up dumping the stash. Trying to work my schedule around breastfeeding and hoping for the best with my supply. Worst case, we can go back to formula. If you have a carrier and are EBF, here are some tutorials for how to feed baby in a carrier. [part 1] [part 2] I want to start doing this because my baby nurses to sleep and then I am naptrapped. If I could nurse him to sleep in the carrier, I think I could get some work done in the mornings. Has anyone else unlocked this skill? I am slightly worried about going back to work as a lecturer at a university. There will be MANY hours of computer work between posting content and grading student work. 2.5 weeks left.

Two months ago, I experienced the first bath with a happy baby. No crying. Cradle cap is gone finally! It seems like at every stage in LO's growth, there is a crisis which passes relatively quickly but seems like a big deal at the time. Yes, I did spend $10 on the 2-pack FridaBaby DermaFrida the SkinSoother Silicone Bath Brushes a month ago, but it was like a big problem then. Packing them off to my sister, who is due in October.

Two months ago, we were in flux. Nights are up and down. Days are mostly up. Sleep training is a completely foreign concept to me. We're in survival mode. And my LO is such a distracted eater during the day and especially at bedtime. I am thinking that he's waking more at night because he's hungry. He will eat and then go back to sleep 2-3 times per night. He used to sleep 10 hours continuously for weeks 3-18. 🤷‍♀️  Maybe he just wants to be comforted. Who doesn't?

Two months ago, we consolidated from 4 naps to 3. I've tried walking baby in a carrier outside around sunset to skip the 4th nap. Then putting him down for the night at his usual time. Alternatively, we put him down a bit earlier. Only problem with that is he wakes earlier in the am. I was up at 4am for the day today. He went down at around 6pm last night.

Two months ago, the baby was eating and sleeping ONLY with mom. Should I be angry with myself for allowing baby to reject bottles and not nap anywhere else other than next to or on me? My husband came back from the grocery store with all the stuff he likes and none of what I like to eat that is healthy. I am so sick of COVID and it is really hard to manage the baby AND my own meals AND the grocery list AND cooking and cleaning AND not let things go bad because we have no time or energy to cook them. We get fast food so often like twice a day and I know it's nutritionally poor, not to mention financially wasteful. I have GOT to get more efficient. I start back to work in 2 weeks. That will be 11 contact hours plus 2 office hours plus prep and grading time. I can barely find 3 hours per day to shower, exercise, cook and clean. Something's gotta give.