Thursday, October 1, 2020

Two months ago

A little over 2 months ago, baby Albert refused bottles half the time. He had cradle cap and scratched his forehead, so we had to put him in a hat and mittens. I gave up the MOTN pump 3 months ago. I got rid of the bassinet, which we hardly ever used. We started using the white noise machine continuously throughout the night instead of just for 15, 30 or 60 minutes. I was thinking, "I just can't remember anything anymore." But that isn't true. I remember lots of things, just not the same stuff I used to.

Two months ago I had THE BEST day! Doughnuts for breakfast. Took LO to the swimming pool. He was using this float and sunglasses while wearing this swimsuit and hat and these aquasocks . My friend gave us two used swim diapers Aqua Leisure and Finis. Albert happily kicked around for a full 45 minutes. I wouldn't characterize myself as someone who LOVES swimming, but it's been so hard to be cooped up inside due to COVID, I splurged on all this swim gear. Our condo complex has a community pool. There were no other families there today so it was very peaceful. We spotted squirrels, hummingbirds and dragonflies. We had homemade enchiladas for lunch with homemade brownies for dessert. Yes, the baby missed a few naps and feeds due to all the excitement, which we tried desperately to catch up between 3-8pm. IMHO it was worth the trouble of getting all the equipment because now I feel confident that I can take LO down to the pool any morning until the water temperature drops below 80 deg F (it's 84 now, not a heated pool). I can tread water or walk laps with my baby and not worry about overheating or walking too far away from home and LO having a meltdown (which has happened). The pool is about 300 ft from our unit. I take him in a stroller because wet baby is slippery, and it's easier to transport our things in the stroller than to carry everything on my body.

Two months ago, we picked up our purchases from the online consignment sale, clothes and toys for the next several months. I feel so excited to be prepared for another season of quarantine! Not saying I am a "doomsday prepper," but maybe just prepping adjacent. The funniest thing about these COVID times is that I keep imagining the preppers saying, "I told you! See how our stockpiles have been working out? I knew there was a pandemic-a-comin." I grew up in Nebraska where there are lots of extreme weather events, so I tend to stock canned food, batteries and water, etc. I feel like Californians are kind of laissez-faire which is strange because "the big one" is coming and they do annual earthquake drills and have a disaster preparedness fair. But our stockpile of nuts, grains and beans has lasted us through the shortages at the grocery stores. And now I am thankful, as I said, to have 9m, 12m and 18m clothes. My baby is in 6-9m now. His feet are comically big for the 0-6m socks. I have no idea what toys LO will like, so I sent my mom the link to the online store and it was really fun virtually shopping with her. We spent like 2.5 hours scouring the inventory, and she gave me lots of ideas about what kind of toys he will need in the next 6 months. This consignment sale only happens twice per year.

Two months ago, I noted that our baby became OBSESSED with the dog.

Two months ago, I thought there weren't enough cute pictures of baby on my Instagram. I was awakened by a magnitude 4.2 earthquake. After feeding LO at 3:30 and having just gone back to sleep. DH gets up for work at 5 so I just laid in bed thinking about vintage baby photo shoots. We started calling the baby "earthquake cowboy" because he rides it out.

Two months ago, I celebrated Harry Potter's 40th birthday by doing Cosmic Kids yoga and watching the movies on iTunes. I think I got as far as year 3.

Two months ago, I had a nightmare that I was a gestational surrogate and I had to give up the baby. I think I was nervous about going back to work.

Two months ago, I put LO in a carrier and walked or danced him for 30-40 minutes to calm him down before nursing and putting him to sleep. I sobbed over his crib because I didn't know how we would manage taking care of the baby and working. 

Two months ago, I was so exhausted last about an hour before LO's bedtime that I put baby in a carrier and walked in circles around our apartment complex. Just to calm the baby (and the dog and TBH myself). I usually like "going somewhere" on a walk but for some reason, it felt good to walk laps. It did feel a bit like being 14 months pregnant. I was looking forward to mastering the "back carry."

Two months ago, baby was drooling so much I had him wear a bandana bib all day every day. I had to change it 3x per day. Don't know what that was about since he still hasn't cut any teeth yet.

Two months ago, I started back to work. Babywearing with a teething necklace. Singing songs and bouncing baby to keep him calm. Now Huckleberry is saying I'm 37 minutes late for LO's nap. It's so hard to get work done and still follow baby's hunger and sleep cues. I can get so focused on computer tasks that I completely lose track of time. All I did for work in those 2 hours was to download last year's syllabi from the cloud, upload them to Office 365 for editing, copy course content on the LMS from last year's classes into this year's shells, and send 2 emails to colleagues. I know it's progress, but there's less than 3 weeks until classes start. I always want to be a great teacher. I look at the way I structured the courses a year ago and I want to overhaul it to be more pandemic-friendly, but I don't see myself having time to do it.

Two months ago, I defrosted frozen breastmilk overnight in the refrigerator. Tasted it. Yuck! Baby wouldn't drink it. Maybe LO is just rejecting all bottles. Maybe milk is just yucky. Maybe defrosting technique is not right. Not looking forward to troubleshooting this problem. I felt sad and stressed about going back to work in less than 3 weeks.

Two months ago, we threw out all frozen food that we had prepared for the fourth trimester. If I haven't eaten it by now, I probably won't, right? Also did a 24h fridge thaw of frozen breastmilk and it was disgusting. Going to compare with a 5m quick thaw in boiling water. Then compare with freshly pumped milk. DH refuses to participate in taste test.

Two months ago, I did it. I did a breastmilk taste test. Fresh. 24h refrigerated. Frozen and quick defrost. Frozen and 24h defrost. OMG the frozen was disgusting!!! Bye bye freezer stash. 🤮 Edit to add: appreciate the supportive comments but my baby will not currently take a bottle. We ended up dumping the stash. Trying to work my schedule around breastfeeding and hoping for the best with my supply. Worst case, we can go back to formula. If you have a carrier and are EBF, here are some tutorials for how to feed baby in a carrier. [part 1] [part 2] I want to start doing this because my baby nurses to sleep and then I am naptrapped. If I could nurse him to sleep in the carrier, I think I could get some work done in the mornings. Has anyone else unlocked this skill? I am slightly worried about going back to work as a lecturer at a university. There will be MANY hours of computer work between posting content and grading student work. 2.5 weeks left.

Two months ago, I experienced the first bath with a happy baby. No crying. Cradle cap is gone finally! It seems like at every stage in LO's growth, there is a crisis which passes relatively quickly but seems like a big deal at the time. Yes, I did spend $10 on the 2-pack FridaBaby DermaFrida the SkinSoother Silicone Bath Brushes a month ago, but it was like a big problem then. Packing them off to my sister, who is due in October.

Two months ago, we were in flux. Nights are up and down. Days are mostly up. Sleep training is a completely foreign concept to me. We're in survival mode. And my LO is such a distracted eater during the day and especially at bedtime. I am thinking that he's waking more at night because he's hungry. He will eat and then go back to sleep 2-3 times per night. He used to sleep 10 hours continuously for weeks 3-18. 🤷‍♀️  Maybe he just wants to be comforted. Who doesn't?

Two months ago, we consolidated from 4 naps to 3. I've tried walking baby in a carrier outside around sunset to skip the 4th nap. Then putting him down for the night at his usual time. Alternatively, we put him down a bit earlier. Only problem with that is he wakes earlier in the am. I was up at 4am for the day today. He went down at around 6pm last night.

Two months ago, the baby was eating and sleeping ONLY with mom. Should I be angry with myself for allowing baby to reject bottles and not nap anywhere else other than next to or on me? My husband came back from the grocery store with all the stuff he likes and none of what I like to eat that is healthy. I am so sick of COVID and it is really hard to manage the baby AND my own meals AND the grocery list AND cooking and cleaning AND not let things go bad because we have no time or energy to cook them. We get fast food so often like twice a day and I know it's nutritionally poor, not to mention financially wasteful. I have GOT to get more efficient. I start back to work in 2 weeks. That will be 11 contact hours plus 2 office hours plus prep and grading time. I can barely find 3 hours per day to shower, exercise, cook and clean. Something's gotta give.

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