I see a runcation in our future. This is where your vacation is planned around a run. To extend the distance covered in my workouts, I mapped out possible courses.
I learned that what looks good on Google Maps maybe not practical, for example some streets have no sidewalks and some unincorporated areas don't have curb cuts for your stroller.
I want to go to REI to get some Clif Shot Bloks or maybe just order them from Amazon.
I learned that the Versa 4 doesn't create a map, nor does it connect to GPS, when you set it to "walk" unless you very quickly hit the "^" on workout and change the settings. So when I did the practice of the Mason route, it didn't use GPS to track distance so I'm guessing the distances on the route sheet are all wrong.
So I think the distances I tracked on the Cue Sheet for the Mason 5k are not correct because I haven't calibrated my Fitbit by walking or running on a track. I'm having trouble finding a track (whether indoor or outdoor) to use.
9/1 - I'm back at work after having the summer off. My LO is in daycare. I kept him home Monday and Wednesday because I only teach Tues/Thurs/Fri. He has a kind of runny nose and slight cough but it doesn't seem like it's contagious. My husband is supposed to stay home with LO on Tues/Thurs/Fri but he was unwilling to do so on Tuesday. Today DH is out sick at home and LO is in daycare. So far I feel fine. I think maybe I'm just too stressed out to get sick right now. I had a bad migraine over the weekend, which I think was from stress.
It's a lot to get kiddo back in daycare. I had to remember so many things. The forms, the emergency kit, the shoes, the medications, the photos, etc. DH was just not involved in getting anything ready for our return to daycare. I can manage all of this. But I also want to get a massage. I have been internalizing this stress and I can feel it in my back. Also, I haven't been working out as much so I feel my posture going downhill.
We kept the kid out of swim lessons on Tuesday just in case of loose stool, which the daycare said he had on Tuesday. It's hard because when the kid is home with me he wants to lay around and breastfeed all day, which may have generated the loose stool. The day after he went to daycare, on Wednesday, his poops were solid. Today, he is meeting with a child psychologist as part of addressing his speech delay. It will be our second visit. I'm praying that this additional intervention can help us get kiddo caught up with his peers. He's about a year behind.
We're in a heat wave now, so it's cabin fever for everyone. The temp is supposed to be 112 deg F or something like that. It's hard to have a (possibly) sick kid and (possibly) sick husband and we can't leave the house. And we don't know if anyone has the same thing. I know the kids can't go outside at daycare if the outdoor temp is above 92 deg F so I do have some sympathy for the daycare teachers with 12 screaming two-year olds in a smallish room. I hope their sanity is holding up.
9/4 - John Lasseter movie marathon. Ice Age, Frozen, Zootopia, Princess and the Frog, Tangled... I think we will do Ratatouille and Brave next. New CARS movie comes out Sept 8th on Disney+ day. LO is a big fan of the Cars movies but not Planes.
Its in the triple digits here so we can't go out. DH is sick so we are quarantining just as a precaution. We are going to Disneyland next week to use the last day of our SoCal resident 3-day summer pass. That's why I am stuck on Disney and Pixar. LO is enjoying watching with me. It's fun to see what parts he laughs at.
I was raised on Disney movies but haven't seen all the ones that were released when I was in college and early career without kids. So from 1998 until now I guess. It's fun catching up. Any suggestions for what to watch tomorrow?
9/5 - I am so sick of my husband being sick. When will he ever be well again? I feel like we keep ending up at urgent care over and over. Why can't he take better care of himself? When he's sick then I have to take care of everything around the house. With school starting and LO going back to daycare, I'm taking out the long shirts and pants that are size 3T. I am sewing LO's name into his clothes. I asked DH to give me a break by taking kiddo into the shower and instead DH let LO play trains for an hour. That's fine. It's too hot to go outside anyway. But I have been solely responsible for getting the kid back to school and I want my partner to do his share of parenting duties.
I stayed home with kiddo last week on the days I could. DH had a fever on Friday but he doesn't now. He says his head still hurts but it's like come on dude. LO is actually running a slight fever. You're not. I asked you to bathe him. Instead DH took a nice long shower by himself and kiddo sat on my lap. DH is constantly taking the easy road and I am tired of carrying on with the hard work.
I am worried that LO has HFM or something like that. I thought it was his 2 year molars but now he has what looks like a cold sore above his upper lip. I don't see any blisters on his hands and feet and he had a upper respiratory thing the week before school started with a runny nose and now he has a kind of wet cough. Like I said, we'll probably be visiting urgent care this week. I hate how DH makes me out to be the bad guy when I ask for help. I am just about out of ideas and patience.
A bit of light googling tells me use a humidifier, push fluids and rest. But I feel like this is week 3 of trying that. DH has been sick for like a month. Okay maybe 2 weeks. He has Type 2 diabetes now and I just read that he should check his blood sugar every 4 hours if he is sick because illness and infection aggravates the diabetes. I am really at my wits end. The man loves junk food. I can't be his mother. He has to care enough to monitor himself and eat healthy.
Sorry for the rant. I am just suffering over here mentally and I worry that what DH had (fever, vomiting, headache) is coming my way (and LO's too), but when I get it, I won't be able to lay around doing nothing for 4 days. I have a job and a tiny human that do not accept my resignation.
9/9 - I thought this group would appreciate... I was hoping that kiddo would never have to wear a mask. I thought, surely by the time he is two years old we will have solved the pandemic and he will never need to be bothered. Fast-forward to now. I have an appointment next Wednesday for LO to get vaccinated. His first dose. Last time we had an appointment they asked us to leave because the doses never arrived so I'm praying that everything goes well this time. Also, kiddo has to be wearing a mask to enter his classroom every day for daycare. Today was a 10 minute struggle and finally his teacher came out and helped. Kiddo just wouldn't put it on for me. I just wanted to say if your kid doesn't have to wear a mask every day, consider yourself lucky. I know our school plans to continue masking until the end of the fall semester at least (Dec 2022). I just never planned on mask-training my kid. He got this ugly cold-sore type thing on his face, which we all think was due to him chewing the mask and it rubbing on his skin. It went away over the Labor day long weekend. Ugh. TGIF
9/15 - Yesterday was V-Day for my Marchling. Yes it was fitting that it was on his half-birthday. He was exactly 2.5 years old. He got the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine first dose. We will go back in 4 weeks for the second dose. I almost cried when I saw his name on the white COVID-19 vaccine card. We waited so long for this day. He did have a massive poo in the evening about 10 hours after getting the shot, but I'm not sure if it is directly related. No fever. I just love seeing how he faces scary experiences like this so bravely. I'm proud of my little buddy.
9/18 - Ran MUD GIRL. It was fun. It was stressful. It was a group effort. My hands hurt afterwards. Kind of like how you feel after packing up all your stuff and moving into a new house after 4 days of hauling boxes. If I were to do it again, I would wear capri-length leggings (not shorts). I would still wear a hat or visor. I wore contacts and sun glasses, which I would do again. I would definitely wear all the sunscreen. I would arrive early, in which case you could run the course twice. I have no idea how trail runners prevent rock from getting into their shoes, maybe tall socks? That hurt. I also would have worn gloves. My hands got a little (lot) scratched up.
9/19 - Forgot to order Fitlicious. Ended up going back to Mashup Mom. It was delicious and a good change of pace. However, it was a lot of work (>10 hours) cooking everything. It took up all my time on my days off (Monday, Wednesday).
I got a free bookshelf from Buy Nothing and attended Fit4Mom at the Vineyards.
9/21 - Kiddo is tripping ALL over his feet these days. Knees are all bruises and scabs. Face is all black and blue. Our daycare said he looks like a Cobra Kai. 🐍 He already has huge feet and is outgrowing his 3T pajamas. He is so hungry and sleeping a lot so I am guessing he's in a growth spurt. But I'm not ready for my baby to get any bigger 😭. I have a huge pile of long pants and long sleeves in 3T to sew nametags in 🧺✂️ 🪡 🧵. I am ready for fall. The cooler weather is giving me life.
I moved a bookshelf from the garage to the upstairs and populated it with books. I attended Fit4Mom at Mason Park and I was the only one there. I had a good chat with the instructor, Jessica and we talked about the podcast https://www.maintenancephase.com/
9/24 - Went to the Fall Family Event at Warner Center Park but didn't do the workout. My back was really hurting. Not sure exactly how I injured it. The pain got worse on Sunday. It hurt to sit, lay, stand, walk, everything.
9/26 - Bubs is really into mannequins. He likes to go through family roles like mama, dada, baby, grandma, grandpa, etc. He gets concerned when mannequins don't have heads, feet, arms or hands.
He likes comparing body parts too. Mommy's feet, daddy's feet, Albert's feet. He tickles our feet. He is a giggle monster. He doesn't like it when his pants are too short. He is growing so fast.
People keep asking how much he weighs now and I have no idea.
I canceled our Disneyland reservation because my back was still hurting AND we are in another excessive heat warning (triple digits) and it was just too hot to enjoy the visit. I bought some fall flowers to cheer myself up. I figure if I would have spent $35 to park at Disneyland, I can spend $22 on flowers for my own yard. I got Marigolds (yellow and orange), Mums (yellow and orange), Zinnia (orange) and Celosia (yellow) to give that thanksgiving vibe.
9/29 - Every time all my online purchases arrive, I think, okay now I have everything. I'm not going to buy anything else. But of course something comes up and I make another purchase.
Our cargo bike got stolen out of our garage last month. We bought another bike almost right away, but I also had to replace my helmet AND the shade canopy AND the bell AND the flag AND the little snack bag AND the phone holder. And I'm still discovering things that were in the cargo bike when it was stolen that I'm having to replace. Like the tool bag of all my favorite tools and my favorite portable air pump. I'm trying to be cool and positive about it. But it's been a lot of work getting all that stuff replaced.
Also on the day I bought the replacement bike, I took it out for a test ride. I got a flat tire due to a thorn. So I had to replace the tire and then take it to a bike shop to get the brakes adjusted. They also took a look at one of the disc brakes and bent it back into place. I bought some lube so I can just get all the spinning parts lubed up and then I think we'll be good to go. But I'm sure I'll think of something else it needs. I was able to find pads for the 3-point harness at the most recent consignment sale.
If you are cargo-bike curious or just into women cycling with their family, the movie MOTHERLOAD is really cute. I also read an article about a mom on a cargo bike who competed in the Disaster Relief Trials, and I do believe that a bicycle will be a great resource in the event of mayhem or natural disaster. I'm not a full-time doomsday prepper, but I am prepping adjacent.
October 5th is California Clean Air Day. October 9th is CicLAvia, a day where the city of Los Angeles closes some streets so that pedestrians and cyclists can have a stress-free day to play in the road. These are my deadlines for having the new bike ready for LO and myself.
I bought a set of tiles, which pair with my phone and Alexa and can help me find stuff if it is lost. For example keys. But I also wonder what would have happened if I had one of those in my bike or bike bag. Could I have found my lost/stolen bike? Also, if I had registered my bicycle with the campus PD, would that have made any difference?
Also I almost lost my keys this morning. Also I lost my wallet one time during the summer. Mombrain is so challenging. Also the tiles cost $99 for a set of 4 and I'm already wondering if I should have 8 or if I should just stop losing my shit. My back is 95% good, but it is not 100% better.
June 7: Pushing rolling things around the house is big time fun now. A bar cart, a scooter and the learning walker. Even though he can walk unassisted and even run, pushing stuff is paramount these days.
He is really into opening and closing doors and does a really cute little shuffle when I remind him to "watch your feet" so the door doesn't scratch him. He scoots his little feet back ever so slightly before moving the door.
We have had to move all trash cans up on top of stools because he loves stashing stuff in there like his toys and our shoes. As others have said there is a constant mixing of clean and dirty laundry that can get confusing and results in larger loads getting washed just to be sure.
Our pediatrician had to reschedule the 15 month appointment and now it's going to be at 16 months plus 4 days. What happens at that one?
June 9: LO is doing a cute hand gesture these days. Kind of hand opening and closing. Don't know what he thinks it means but if we do it to him, he will do it back. If he starts doing it, and we do it back, he cracks up. Silly monkey.
June 10: Vulnerable feelings alert! I'm scared about getting in shape / period returning / stopping breastfeeding / starting daycare / Albert growing up. I feel like I can't tell anyone because they might say, it's natural, get over it. I feel like I can't talk about it to my husband because he has to absorb my constant drama.
I want to lose this belly pooch but I worry about cutting calories and not making enough milk. Likewise for period returning (which hasn't happened yet). Please no advice. I am trying to process these feelings. It's like making my LO my top priority for so long, it scares me to move myself as a higher priority.
We are on a waitlist for day care for fall but I'm already starting to worry about it. Sharing in case anyone else is out there quietly feeling this way. It seems most people in this group have already crossed these thresholds, so I haven't posted here because I didn't want to seem behind the curve.
I am holding on to this baby because we are one and done. I didn't expect to enjoy motherhood this much and I didn't give much thought to how I would balance working and parenting because our Reproductive Endocrinologist gave us a 50% chance of a live birth. It felt like flipping a coin. My husband was betting it would work and I was betting it wouldn't.
I am doing my best to embrace the change. Also working out harder is making my C-section scar hurt a bit and it makes me remember labor and makes me wonder if I could have had a vaginal delivery if only I had tried harder. What? Seriously I gotta get out of my head.
June 14: He pretended to blow his nose in a tissue. So cute!
June 16: Took baby for a hike. RIP my neck, trunk, arms, legs, etc. I tried to go to sleep but I was so hungry I had to sneak down and have a late night snack. It was only 3 miles and I babywear quite a bit, but I guess hiking is just that much different. LO was in a Deuter hiking backpack. Last time we took LO for a hike, he was 8 months old. Back then DH wore LO and I just walked. Today I wore him the whole hike. He did very well today but wow am I exhausted.
June 19: Me: sees a picture of an 8 year old
Also me: crying because LO will eventually be 8 years old
June 22: Me: I wonder why my left hip hurts...
Also me: At the store. Doing laundry. Gardening. Cooking. Walking on the beach. Carries LO on my left hip.
Infertility Babies: I am simultaneously wanting another child and feeling jealous of fellow bumpers who are pregnant or already have a 2nd, 3rd or 4th. But also feeling like I have my hands full now with one 15 month old. And still breastfeeding. And had a C-section. So like aren't I supposed to wait 18 months before even trying to get pregnant?
We do not plan to have another child. There is no way I would go through IVF again at my age (40). I hate it when people say, "you can't have an only child. He needs a sibling." But yes if it happens, I would love another. But no, I'm not actively trying.
But yes, the TTC threads on my bumper group are super triggering for so many reasons! I selfishly want to have a second labor so I can have a better birth experience. The first one sucked except for the fact that both me and the baby survived.
Side note: I am starting to get fit again and doing scar massage and I think a lot about my birth experience and feel lots of regrets about it. My baby was born during a set of difficult circumstances. I don't feel entitled to a "do over" because I know it could end up the same or worse the 2nd time. And also it's crazy to want to "do over" birth and newborn stage right? You still gotta raise the baby for many years after that. I just don't know how to heal from my birth experience (after IVF) and immediate lockdown because of COVID. My son was born 3/14/20.
Honestly we had a great birthday for Albert. My mom (his grandmother) was here. We had a zoom party for some family and friends. It was safe and simple. We had three kinds of pie for pi day.
It was kind of a tough couple of weeks. I gave a test that took lots of hours to grade. I had to write a bunch of letters of recommendation. I got my first COVID vaccine dose. Albert was cutting his molars. Albert got his 1-year vaccines. I think because of all that, it went by really fast and in a blur.
I got a few things done while my mom was here: I swept the garage and transplanted my pepper seedlings to the garden. We got two big rain storms which made all the planters really moist and juicy.
We did a few crafts too. My mom sewed my patch collection onto a olive green military-style jacket I found at Aldi. She warped my cricket loom with red and yellow yarn.
I want to do Xmas photos. I want to send Xmas cards. I want to make a wreath out of Eucalyptus branches. I want to vacuum the floors. I want to clean the oven. I want to clean the bathrooms. I want locks on all cabinets and drawers. I want all furniture secured to the walls. I want about 100 hours of childcare so I can get my work done. I want people at work to stop asking me to do extra stuff as if I have more free time than they do. I want to see my sisters and my new nephew Theo. I would love to see friends and their kids and have them meet my kid. I want to bake and decorate a gingerbread house. I want to keep up eating healthy meals and working out with Fit4Mom. I want to get more use out of the jogging stroller. I want to get back into rollerskating. I want to see snow. I want to sew 2 quilts. I want to organize my son's toys. I want to sing Christmas carols with a group. I want to go on a "holiday lights" drive, bike ride or walk. I want to get something for my husband's birthday. I want to be more mindful and do daily meditation. I want to clean out more crap from the closets and garage. I want to repopulate my garden with edible plants. I want to sweep the garage and mop the laminate floors. I want to bathe the dog and trim her nails. I want to get together with my cousin and do a local hike here in the valley. I want to take my son on public transportation, a subway maybe. I want to read a good book. I want to go camping. I want to iron-on the "MOM" patch I got from my secret bumper to my breastfeeding sweatshirt.
Since Albert was born I have been so hungry all the time. I have written about my postpartum diet in another post.
I found a breastfeeding meal plan here. Sent dear husband to the store with a grocery list and he came back $300 later with all the items I requested. I don't know if I will have the energy to make all the things, but I am willing to try.
Since Albert was born, it has been difficult to find the time, energy and attention to really get meals planned, prepped and served. It's important to have a clean kitchen because that's where we wash all the bottles and give the baby a bath.
The first carrier I chose based on which one fit both my husband and I. It is the Lillebaby 6-Position Complete Airflow. Removable lumbar support and padded straps make it comfier-than-most, suitable for long walks and day-long outings. Made of polyester performance mesh. Handles riders from 7 to 45 pounds, no infant insert required, with 6 different carrying positions on the front, back, and hip (including a front-outward carry).
I saw that it was on sale for $41.04 (regular price $124.99) so I took two buses to a Target near UCLA that said it was in stock, but when I got there it was not. So I took a bus and the light rail to a Target in Hollywood and found it. Then I took a light rail and two buses to get back home. I told myself that I would be telling Albert that story when he was big enough to be using that carrier.
A friend gave us an Infantino Flip 4-in-1 convertible carrier. I love it. It's set up in the forward-facing configuration. When Albert gets fussy, I put him in there and wander around the kitchen, garden and garage. He can see what's going on and he doesn't have to be just looking at my chest or shoulder. He can also see himself in the mirror. The only thing I don't like about it is that it kind of rubs the back of my arms. I tend to wear sleeveless shirts these days and I can only wear that carrier for so long before I am in pain.
We were also gifted an Ergobaby Original Bundle of Joy baby carrier. I haven't tried it yet. Allows 3 baby carrying positions: front-inward, hip and back. My aunt suggested wearing him on my back while cooking, but I just don't know how I would check to make sure he's ok, or even how I would get him back there. I do wish the babywearing group was still meeting. I would bring all of these carriers there and get schooled on how to use them. You may think having three soft structured carriers is overkill, but what I've heard is that it's good to have one adjusted for mom and one adjusted for dad and then don't readjust.
Wrap Style Carriers
We registered for a Moby wrap and one of our colleagues bought it for us. The reason we added it to the registry is that we attended a babywearing meetup at a park in Santa Clarita and after trying it on (with help) we realized how comfortable and useful it would be, as well as not difficult to tie. When we tried it on in the store (following the pictures on the box) without a weighted babydoll, it seemed too weird and difficult to tie. Now, I can get it on pretty quickly and leave it on all day even if the baby isn't in there.
The Moby is a stretchy wrap. There are also non-stretchy wraps. One that was gifted to us is the brand Didymos. Now they come in many shapes and sizes, and I'm not sure what size I have. I've been following the #MayTheFourthTrimester challenge on So-Cal Babywearers facebook page to learn many different ways of tying the non-stretchy wrap. So far what I really like about it is how secure it feels. As Albert is getting bigger (and heavier) I feel the non-stretchy wrap gives him a more snug fit, whereas the Moby settles over a 45-minute period and the baby ends up dropping lower and lower. He usually takes a nap after a while, but not always.
Just measuring the Didymos that I have, it's about 14 feet long and 22 inches wide. It seems like A LOT of fabric but it is extremely versatile and I'm really starting to appreciate it for its simplicity, breathability and beauty. Gardening while baby wearing is a great way to calm Albert down. He's been fussy lately and keeping him interested has been a real task. We have also done lots of dancing while he's in this wrap. Every Friday night, there's online line dancing on YouTube and every Thursday morning, Fit4Mom has a babywearing dance class on Zoom. We even did one session with GroovaRoo on Facebook live.
Mei Tai Carrier
A Mei Tai carrier is soft bodied with four long straps for tying. The one I have is homemade. I love it for how simple it is. Easy to pack and easy to wash. We call his arm hanging out the "temperature probe." It's quick to put on and take off.
We've taken this one for a longer walk. It's also convenient to put in the stroller in case baby starts fussing and won't be quiet in his stroller. I also have used it during my babywearing dance class. I sometimes put Albert in there when we're eating.
One thing I have yet to master is having Albert breastfeed while in a carrier. I also haven't mastered the side-laying breastfeeding. I am so grateful when we just do regular breastfeeding, I haven't felt the need to multitask besides scrolling on my phone or eating a snack.
What I would recommend is to check secondhand shops for used carriers. There's no way that you need to buy something new like I did. I was obsessed with having something and if I would have waited just a bit longer, I would have had enough carriers given to me that I wouldn't have had to buy one. But also, it's great to have a variety of styles. And the wraps are easy to throw in the washing machine, so I do appreciate having two especially since Albert seems to spit up a half ounce every hour.
