I wanted to write a quick blog about how I'm feeling. Just one long run left before the marathon. I feel ready. I know what I'm going to wear. I know what I'm going to eat. I have my pace in mind. I've trained to climb the hills of the course. I'm done listening to doubters (including myself).
I've had aches and pains in this journey. I remember one of the first things I felt was foot pain, like October or November 2023. I felt like I had a stress fracture in one foot. I remember googling "obese running problems" to see if there was any correlation between weight and running and foot injuries. What I found was that it was actually inversely proportional. Heavy runners tended to run slower and have fewer foot injuries. Lighter runners tended to do too much speed work too soon and get stress fractures. So I kept plodding along.
I don't know which of my runners it was that asked me, don't you have any injuries? and I remember saying, no because I do the proper stretching, strengthing, and rehab. But that's not entirely true. I got a mean case of shin splints around May and June 2024. It hurt so bad even to walk. I think it was probably muscle weakness in the calf that caused it. And I continued to stretch, and do strength exercises, and work through the pain, and buy new shoes! And more calf raises. And curtsey lunges without putting weight on the back leg.
I guess it was about a year ago that I went in and got assessed for new shoes. I was probably following a 5k training plan back then and didn't really look like a serious runner. Those shoes worked well for me and I ended up getting three more pairs of that style. I got reassessed last week and they recommended a pair of New Balance. More lightweight, more cushion.
I remember it must have been around October or November when I started having pain in my psoas. Or hip flexor. I ordered a dance warm-up that I thought would help. I asked on the Coach's chat for the LA Roadrunners and they said it was most likely a weak muscle. And that the solution is not more stretching or foam rolling but more strengthing. So banded marches it is. What I ended up doing is attending Fit4Mom Stroller Strides classes and then swapping out the exercises I should be doing for my rehab and running strength instead of whatever the instructor tells us.
I don't know what day it was but one morning it was really cold. I had some knee pain. But I put on my knee-high leg warmers and ran anyway. As long as my knees were covered, it was okay. If the leg warmer slipped below the knee, it hurt a bit. I'm guessing it was Lassen (January 30th). Adding speed and treadmill and hills at the same time. Probably too much.
I would love to write more about how I'm feeling, but I have to run to class. Enjoy this Venn Diagram I made about the similarities and differences between Motherhood, Marathoning and Teaching.
What is the greatest love of all? Learning to love yourself. Whitney Houston became a mom in 1993, but recorded this song in 1984.
Katy Perry became a mom in 2020, but recorded this song in 2010 when I was doing my internship in Germany. I remember hearing it on the radio and feeling so homesick for SoCal.
Miley Cyrus recorded Party in the USA in 2009. I loved hearing this song when I was in Germany. It made me homesick for Los Angeles and I wanted to hop a flight back right away. I didn't appreciate Miley as an artist too much at the time, but now she's one of my favorite icons. Being proud of the USA doesn't ring as true for me anymore, hopefully this country will check itself before it wrecks itself.
I listen to my Disney Hits playlist and one of the songs that hypes me up the most is this one by Hannah Montana. Miley says she's not ready for motherhood, but there's still time, she's only 31. Her memoir Miles to Go was published in 2009. I really enjoyed the memoir of Jessica Simpson called Open Book. She talks about going to the Disney auditions and how messed up the whole process was.
Niki Minaj became a mother in 2020, but recorded Super Bass in 2010. Honestly, I was having a tough week and I put on this song and immediately felt better. The years I spent working on my PhD were some of the darkest times in my life but I have such a strong connection to the music from that era.
Meghan Trainor (has two children born 2021, 2023 both via C-section). She wrote "Dear Future Mama" published in 2023 after PTSD from her first delivery. The song came out in 2023 and the video stars the ultimate momager Mrs. Kris Jenner herself. I'm wondering why Kris hasn't run for president yet. WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN POWER. And moms especially because they understand the sacrifices made to create life.
Meghan wrote "Made You Look" after her therapist asked her to stare at herself in the mirror for 5 minutes. She's always touched on themes of body positivity, but this song is truly all about it. I remember seeing this on Disney's Magical Holiday Celebration in 2022. While all the other artists were singing Christmas songs, she went ahead and dropped this song while wearing hot pink. It felt out of place for the program, but I loved it. This would have been filmed while she was pregnant with her second baby.
Britney Spears (has two children born in 2005, 2006) recorded Gimme More in 2007 and Work Bitch in 2013. Sometimes I wonder if this sexualized version of Britney was her idea or some idiot man's idea. 2007 was the year she shaved all her hair off, which I also did in 2010. I didn't do it because she did it, but it's kind of cool that I also got to experience hair-less-ness. I did it for basically for the same mental health reasons, and also I didn't need the hair at the time. I was running half marathons every weekend for fun and it was just easier not to have to wash and style my hair.
It's so hard to believe that Gimme More was recorded one year after she had two children. She would have been 24-26 years old then. She recorded Work Bitch when she was 32, the same age I was when I finished my PhD, got sober, and started working at CSUN. The Woman in Me is her memoir published on October 24, 2023. I still haven't read it yet, but I want to.
Lizzo is such an icon I would need an entire post devoted to her. I don't think I heard this song before today. She wrote it in 2015.
Tempo is the Lizzo song I have on my running playlist. Honestly, my playlist is one of the big motivators in my arsenal. The last long run, my headphones died at mile 17, and I couldn't run without my music. I had to walk the last mile.
Love this song because it was the time when people were emerging from the pandemic quarantine. Everyone was so traumatized by the isolation and uncertainty. Lizzo welcomed us back, and this video was filmed at CSUN. I remember getting hyped up watching Watch Out for the Big Grrrls in 2022.
It was so significant to me that I actually acknowledged the following artists in my PhD dissertation. I could not have survived that program without my playlist. I blocked out all the haters and did my experiments in sync.
Beyonce became a mom in 2012 and had a set of twins in 2017. Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé came out in 2019 and Beyonce did a halftime show on Christmas Day in 2024 that was epic. Run the World came out in 2011, which was during some dark times in my life. Rather than doing less after becoming a mom, it is arguable that Beyonce's best work has been done after she had children.
Lady Gaga released The Fame in 2008 and Born This Way in 2011. Her music spoke to me in a way that is not easily communicated. I would listen to the album from start to finish on my little mp3 player. It was a Sansa, and it saved my life. I don't know if I still have it or if it eventually went to e-waste. The Edge was like the climax of my PhD. I felt like I could do anything because I came through the fire. Sometimes I still wish I had the tracklist from that music player.
Rhianna has two children born in 2022 and 2023. The song I remember most is Shut Up And Drive but mostly because of RuPaul's Drag Race. The song was recorded in 2006 and released in 2007. Drag Race All Stars Season 2 Episode 5 aired in 2016, ten years later. Finally, Miss Justin aka Alyssa Edwards was crowned in 2024 the first place winner of Global All Stars, nearly another ten years later. "She's not old, she's established." I've always been obsessed with drag queens because who would willingly want to dress as a woman when you're a white man? Women have some power but we just need to learn how to flex it like men do.
Shakira released She Wolf in 2009 and then went on to have two children in 2013 and 2015. I'm so proud of the women who stepped up to the mic at the 2025 Grammy Awards and let us have it. I don't know but you might still be able to watch it on Paramount+. I really felt like these women have staying power. They have been around for a long time and are finally getting the recognition they deserve AND using their power to speak truth on behalf of more vulnerable people.
What about you? What would be on your playlist entitled: Anthems for the Resistance?
And also: Why don't we celebrate matrescence? I mean yes, we throw a baby shower, but it's somewhat of a celebration for the baby. The gifts are all for the baby. What about the mom? Where are her gifts? We as moms give up so much of ourselves, it's hard to put that in perspective. Where would our society be without moms? There would be a population crash for sure.
I feel like we really need the 4B movement and we need to speak up and act up. I feel like women are taught to sit down, be quiet, follow the rules, and basically give up our power. I think to some extent men hate us because we have the power to create life and they don't. They want to enslave us basically. And we end up hating ourselves because they hate us. That's the patriarchy.
I've been so stuck at work, I've been thinking about all this and not able to sit down and do one bit of work. I'm sick of feeling like a raw nerve, so vulnerable. But that's the power of women also. We can be strong AND vulnerable. We can share our feelings and not be thought less of. Men keep making these rules and women keep following them. We need to step up and be leaders. The power given to women with Title IX needs to be magnified, strengthened, and flexed now.
I know women can't do it all, it is very all-consuming to create life and raise children. But also, we need to demand the flexibility we need to parent AND work. We need to allow women to have babies AND feed them AND show up for work. Because if you're not sitting in the boardroom, your concerns and your needs and your perspective and your ideas (which have immense value) won't be taken into consideration.
Yes I understand some of my anthems might not be your cup of tea. But maybe you want to take a moment to create your own power playlist. Listen to it, do some weightlifting. Then get out there and show up. Show up for the people in your life. Speak your truth. Be brutally honest. Be authentically yourself. We have to keep moving forward, we're not going back.
