Mom
Wife
Teacher
Athlete / Coach
Dog Mom
Friend / Sister
Human Being
Woman
Artist / Gardener
The identities listed above define my priorities. Scheduling my time and doing the most important thing first is a struggle. Minute-by-minute, day-by-day, week-by-week, etc. I do count down the weeks of the semester. I count my parenthood duties as foremost in my mind. I cannot skip these. If my child is sick with a fever, I must drop everything else and take care of him until he is well again.
I guess my wife's duties are to my household and my husband. We took vows to care for each other in sickness and in health. As we strive to reach a more optimized state of health, these duties look like creating shopping lists and meal plans, cleaning kitchens and bathrooms, vacuuming and wiping down common areas, cooking and transporting food, restocking important household supplies, organizing items at the house so they can be inventoried and located, purging items that are no longer used. This is a long list. I also spend many hours per week just putting stuff away, sorting trash from treasures, and resetting areas to be useable again.
Next set of duties that I cannot skip, but also are not my top priority, are the things that I get paid for. Teaching duties, lesson planning, grading, sending emails, posting announcements, following up with absent students, etc. Writing quizzes, making copies, drawing on the board, communicating with colleagues in person and online, reading emails, and scheduling things. I put these things lower on the priority list when I need to, and then higher again when things at home are settled. I work ahead when I feel healthy and balanced, but I fall behind when other higher priorities become urgent.
My duties as an athlete/coach are sometimes higher and sometimes lower, but lately, they have been pretty high. I've let my health take a back seat to parenting and work for half a decade, and now I want to put it higher so that I don't skip workouts and backslide into more significant obesity than I currently am. I spend time creating content for YouTube to educate myself and my runClub. I program and track my workouts using spreadsheets and mileage trackers on Canva. I compare the data on my Samsung Health app to Strava Athlete Intelligence to keep myself motivated and moving forward. As Coach Bennett of the Nike Running app says, You're your best coach. Talk to yourself kindly as you would want your coach to talk to you.
I have a new identity as a dog mom again, which means that I have to fit dog walks into my life. I need to do some dog training and grooming, and remember to add her food to the shopping list, refill her water dish, talk nicely to her, and watch for her under my feet when I'm carrying something large so I don't step on her.
As a friend, this may look like hour-long phone calls to check in on the women in my life. Or it may look like sharing something funny or motivational on Instagram messages. It doesn't have to take up a lot of time when I'm busy, but it is a steady stream of back-and-forth to let those women know they are important, significant, loved, and cared for. It's similar to sisterhood. It's curating the village. This may be a separate post, but I'm leaning into paying for my village. I paid to join the run club. I paid to join the Sparkle Squad. But I get a lot out of it too.
How the "human being" tasks ended up so far down, I don't know. This is stuff like eating, sleeping and pooping. Stuff all humans do. Getting sick, getting well, breathing, digesting, the things we take for granted when it is going well. Maybe we should also put hydration in this category. Also shopping for stuff like supplements, vitamins, and tracking macros. I mean, this could also be a separate post. I've reconsidered the supplements I'm taking. After some bloodwork before my marathon, which I begrudgingly agreed to do, I briefly stopped taking all my supplements. But since then, I've started retaking most of the supplements I had paused.
I guess I would put "woman" in here in a general way to say self-care. Beyond friendships. Stuff like pampering. Spa time. Being alone. Thinking your own thoughts. Blogging like I'm doing now. Doing something I enjoy. The other day I heard a podcast about Disney stuff and they mentioned that Bath and Body Works was doing a line of Disney Princess fragrances. I had to go to the mall and smell it for myself. I'm not sure why this resonates with me in the category of women, but I guess princesses are women and women are taught to be conscious of smelling good, not sweaty, and having soft skin, not rough. So this type of self-care is associated with femininity. It also falls under the Wife category since it involves keeping the lotions and soaps stocked. It is Woman, though, because this dry skin due to perimenopause is something else. And I'm hoping the lotions help with that.
Artist is the last, lowest, and least of my identities. But it's still there! This may be visual with crafting, or it may be kinesthetic with roller disco and dance. I had vowed that when I finished the marathon season, I would do something else in the off-season and get back into dance or rollerskating. And then I went ahead and signed up for another marathon! Yes, I'm doing the LA Marathon 2026. But I still have a lot of semester left to finish, and most of the summer will pass by before training starts again in earnest. Naughty Girl Fitness is $14.44 a month, and it's app-based.
I'm still paying for my Fit4Mom instructor membership, which is $9.99 per month, not even covered by the amount I get paid for coaching the RunClub. After talking with my husband over the long weekend, we may have concluded that I might not continue coaching the RunClub. I might get more out of the season if I commit fully to LARR. The good discount with Fit4Mom is that you do not have to pay for the monthly membership as an instructor and you can still attend classes. I think I was paying $69 per month for Fit4Mom, and at one time, I was paying hundreds of dollars for a monthly membership and Body Well.
People say good things about Orange Theory Fitness, and 24 Hour Fitness, but for now I've got my Planet Fitness Membership. It's $25 per month for the Black Card membership, which includes massage chairs, hydromassage, tanning and Total Body Enhancement, which I have yet to try but I might do it soon. It's vibration combined with red light therapy. Again, this could be a topic of a future blog post. What I'm looking forward to most is the end of the semester and our trip to Nebraska. What I'm not looking forward to is the Rose Bowl Half because it seems so out of place in the season, finishing up all the work of grading and submitting grades, and the weather going hotter and hotter as we approach summer.
Maybe I could add to Artist also Gardener. And this is the lowest priority. At the moment completely dead. But it is generally in spring where I revive our garden. Albert has shown some interest in planting stuff for spring. It will be difficult to justify since we're traveling to Nebraska early in June, but maybe if I'm clear with my husband about care instructions, the garden won't be completely dead when we get back. And I really need to work on getting stuff OUT of our house. It's so overstuffed right now it's stressing me out.
