My first CENTURY is tomorrow!

Well, since this is a blog about biking, it would be unfortunate if I didn't write about how I'm feeling right now, the day before I do my first century. Why am I nervous? Well I think it's because I'm afraid I won't be able to finish. Or maybe I will finish and then I'll scare myself at how tough I've become. Or maybe I'll end up in the hospital because I'll finish but I will seriously injure myself in the process. See how MY MIND SPINS around every possibility?

I did some good meditating this morning, wherein I realized that I need to focus myself and not be distracted by all the crazy energies going on around me. I'm doing OK and I need to feel that everything is fine in my world, because the truth is that IT IS FINE. I don't know why I have a nagging feeling that things are not fine, but it may have something to do with my position at school/work. I can't seem to keep focused.

My boss identified that I have a lack of motivation. At first, I was hurt by that comment, but with time I realized that RESEARCH IS HARD. That's OK, everyone understands that. But I have pretty much forgotten all the wonderful ways being successful and productive in graduate school (right now) will improve my life. That's what she meant. I've been addressing areas of my life that I had been deficient in, and that is hard too, but I need to really get motivated about school and commit myself for the remainder.

I am hoping that the long road of graduate school can be seen as an analogy for an endurance sport, hence the CENTURY I'm doing tomorrow might provide me with some insight that will help me in other areas of my life. Also my research involves studying plant metabolism under aerobic and anaerobic conditions, which is something of interest to athletes as well.

On a side note, my dear husband Mike insisted that I get $300 worth of cycling gear for my birthday (July 6). Bless his heart. Don't ask about the photo.