Feb 3: Mombrain is hitting me so hard. I got assigned to teach CHEM 101 two days before classes started. I also teach CHEM 100. The material is the same but one is more accelerated. I have done this in the past (pre-baby). Now I can't seem to remember where I left off with each class from one lecture to the next. I get a feeling of nagging deja vu while lecturing because I have actually just taught that same topic to the other class. I used to be able to have sooooo many hours to myself to think through everything, to come to class with a clear idea of what I would do, and stay on pace and on topic.
Now I don't have the luxury of infinite time to myself. I am dealing with baby until 15 minutes before class and right when class is over DH hands the baby back to me. Ugh. I have got to find a way to keep everything straight.
Feb 5: Just getting tired of LO grabbing my hair and glasses. 😩 I have such bad eyes that not wearing glasses is not an option. All my contacts are gone and to get more I would have to visit an optometrist which I haven't done due to COVID and baby. But now that I am typing this, maybe I should consider going to contacts.
Feb 6: Yesterday I cut my nails, hubby's nails and then the dog's nails while LO watched. Highly recommended. It was like he was going... oh, everyone in the family has to get their nails cut.
I also went on Amazon and bought ALL the hair doo-dads. I am getting so sick of this long pandemic hair and having to have it up all the time. So I got a new set of claw clips and hair sticks. So far I have been doing double braids, space buns, single bun (high, mid, low), side bun. My hair is long enough now for a chignon or French twist. I considered a doughnut bun thingy but not sure it's necessary and maybe I don't have enough hair for that yet. I don't give a crap about looking cute. I am just trying to avoid headaches. The instant I take my hair down, LO is yanking TF out of it. What are y'all doing?
Feb 7: DH wants to take LO to see MIL. They plan to meet at 10am which means they will leave the house at 9am. Do I pump ahead of time? Do I pump while they are out? It's going to be our first long stretch apart. I teach until 5pm. Help! My baby BF at ~2-3 hour intervals (24/7). Am I fearful because I think my baby needs me and I'm just being self-centered? Or is this a bad idea? I guess DH will feed LO water and purees. LO is a good drinker from a straw cup but rejects bottles.
Feb 8: LO woke up at 4am. Gave up trying to sleep at 5am. Jumping & crawling until 6am. Nap & snuggling until 7:30am. Baby was practicing standing unassisted until 8:30am. Commence breakfast. Nap at 10am.
Feb 11: Got some samples of toddler Enfamil and LO was absolutely cracking up watching me throw and catch the packet. Maybe he was just on a banana sugar high.
Feb 12: Reorganized furniture because LO's reach is getting higher and higher. He isn't climbing yet, but I get nervous when I see how curious and resourceful he is already. I want to make it easier to keep the floors clean and I am obsessed with tidying up multiple times per day in some kind of futile attempt to have order. Or at least not step on any sharp plastic objects.
Feb 13: My baby wakes around 5am but goes back to sleep around 6am when my husband leaves for work. I guess I count that as night sleep. Then LO wakes between 7:30 and 8:30am. He naps around 10 or 11am. He naps around 2 or 3pm. But sometimes he skips the afternoon nap especially if the morning nap is pushed to noon or 12:30pm. Bedtime is between 6:30pm and 8:30pm again depending on whether he has had 1 or 2 naps. Since I teach at the university, my schedule is different Monday/Wednesday and Tuesday/Thursday. Then Fri/Sat/Sun are more free-form but generally I try to maintain the routine.
Feb 14: For me the littlest things I look forward to. There are things I do on certain days like I call my mom on Tuesday. Make my meal plan on Wednesday. Watch Masked Dancer on Thursday. Library storytime on Friday. Watch RuPauls Drag Race on Saturday. Family Zoom on Sunday. Monday I do a fun workout. I realize these only take up 30-60 minutes out of a 24 hour day, but knowing I have a little something to look forward to each day keeps me going.
Feb 15: I hate waking my baby. When he's sleeping so sweetly. Ugh. He was super clingy last night, touching my face and hugging my arm all night. But momma wants to do her workout and we gotta get this day started! Motivational Monday!!!
Feb 16: Faaaaaaaa working with no childcare sucks. That is all.
I have committed to trying allergens on Friday when I have a day off, but now I will factor in naps. No giving LO a potential allergen before a nap. In case he has an allergic reaction in his sleep. The reaction should be noticeable within 2 hours, so feed when he first wakes up.
Feb 17: Try to be easy with yourself. Not all babies follow the prescribed timeline. Even if you're doing everything, sometimes baby is just not ready.
Feb 19: DH and I are constantly at odds over the thermostat. He prefers a balmy 72 to 78 F whereas I would be happy anywhere between 64 and 68 F. I can abide 70 F if there is a cool mist humidifier pointed at my naked back.
I feel for all those without power in cold climates. I grew up in an area where ice storms and blizzards would knock out power. It's worse if you're not used to it, you haven't prepared, you don't own the warm clothes. Even though I live in Los Angeles now, I do sometimes go back to Nebraska in winter. I'm always caught off guard by how inappropriate my clothing is. I hope power is restored for you soon. The heater is running. DH has left for work. I am naptrapped. My skin is itching and I feel like a piece of frying bacon 🥓.
Feb 20: We have no help. I have been super selfish with my baby. I hate taking my attention away from my baby. I wish I didn't have to juggle baby and work. I work from home. I teach university classes. I have a ~70% of full-time load. If I did have full-time help I'm sure I would be resentful of those times I couldn't be with my baby and someone else was getting all the cuddles and smiles. But also I might say that when I have quality time with my baby, it seems more valuable. If we're together 24/7, sometimes I do get touched out.
I can see how babies are successfully raised in villages or extended family situations. Some societies still do this really well. But it seems like the USA just isn't set up this way. We are nuclear family units and AND we are expected to go back to work after a short (6 week) mat leave. How?!
COVID has changed everything. Without it, I would not have been WFH. We would have put our baby in day care. I wouldn't have known what I was missing. I try to find that quality time and try to be happy my MIL is an extended family member who can also have a great relationship with my baby.
Feb 21: The past few weeks I have been addressing my skin care routine. A month ago I got a facial roller. A week ago, I started using a night serum with vitamin C. It says apply to a clean face which has encouraged me to wash my face at night. I apply the serum with the roller.
I am also changing up my daytime skincare routine. I teach on Zoom 4 days a week. In order to light up my face and darken the chaos of baby toys in the background, I turn on a ridiculous amount of lights. Like 7 light sources. It finally occurred to me that maybe I should wear sunscreen. I had not been wearing sunscreen because COVID and I never leave the house. But I think the sunscreen has been good to protect the skin on my face from the Zoom lights.
I have rosacea that seems to have gotten worse during pregnancy and postpartum. I hope it gets better with these new measures in place. I care less about how it looks, but it is painful and itchy when it is running out of control.
I also bought a bunch of hair doo-dads. My hair has not been cut for a year and a half. It is a pixie grown out to medium length. It has been fun experimenting with new updos. Claw clips, hair sticks, spiral hair ties and I'm still waiting on a donut bun kit. It sounds like a small thing, and it is, but the small things are the only things we have during this pandemic.
I had great plans and intentions (autocorrect tried to make it tensions, which is a bit close to the truth). But my baby and I ended up sticking with just a few things that were easier. What kept you motivated to keep introducing variety?
For us, I would make a batch of something and freeze it into a mold. There are 10 wells that hold about 30 mL (2 Tbls) each. Then we would try each food a 3-4 times and baby wouldn't really go for it. I just recently fully gave up on variety and threw away the stuff LO wasn't really eating. Now we rotate through rice cereal, avocado, sweet potato, butternut squash, yogurt, bananas, applesauce and pears. All puree consistency. I had to stop reading the "feeding friday" thread because I felt so guilty. LO is just now getting the hang of biscuits and puffs.
My mom tried introducing Cheerios to LO at 6 months. He gagged a lot. He still gags if the puree isn't smooth enough. He sometimes spits up breastmilk still. His spit up was so bad at one point we were going through 15 burp cloths per day. So I feel like he's just a bit slower than other babies for that reason. But I do feel optimistic that he will catch up. He can feed himself from a preloaded spoon. He can drink water from a straw or open cup. I know eventually he will eat what we eat. But in the meantime, we will follow LO's lead until the pediatrician says otherwise.
Feb 24: If the clothes don't come out of the wash smelling clean, I clean the washing machine. You can use a tablet (Affresh) or follow the steps here to use baking soda and vinegar. I do one or the other appropriately monthly. I didn't know anything about this until I started cloth diapers.
My baby is napping on my left arm today. My phone and coffee are on my right side! 📱☕ Small wins people. I use my phone for work a lot. I compose in Google Slides or Docs and then edit later on my big screen. Sometimes I wish my computer could do predictive text. Thank goodness for small handheld devices.
I used to rigorously clean everything that came into the house. All eating utensils were sterilized prior to coming in contact with LO's mouth. Yesterday I brought home a toy that had been used by several families and I didn't even clean it before letting LO play with it (read: put his mouth on it).
Feb 25: Ugh. I just asked my husband to take the baby upstairs for a nap. He snores (DH) and I am trying to WFH. I told him that he is likely to fall asleep while the baby sleeps and he is likely to snore and it is likely to annoy me (to be working while everyone else is sleeping). He acted like he was totally offended and reminded me that I used to snore while pregnant. Ouch! GTFO. Having these shared spaces is a real pain in the @$$. LO's play area is my Zoom / WFH area. I don't go to school to work because it's easier/safer to have LO here. We have no childcare. I hate this.
DH asked me last night, "Can you image life without LO?" He was all romantic about it, like how life-changing having a baby is... I was like (in an instant) "Yes." Because I feel like my life before LO was pretty cool and I had kind of given up on becoming a parent because we had waited so long (like 8 years of TTC). It is SO HARD to balance working (even part time) and being a parent (which I do enjoy, but...). Gosh. I just can't work like I used to. I don't want to. I would rather spend time with LO and DH. I do love being a mom. But I also hate balancing all this. Last semester I was ~70% of full time. Same now. Can't wait for summer break. We have no help.
I have not tried cheese yet, but I have resolved to try new potential allergens every Friday. Maybe we'll try cheese today. Or maybe shrimp. Or maybe eggs. I noticed a milk allergy at 6 mo. Then again today at 11.5 mo. He's fine with yogurt but not milk or half & half.
Feb 28: I cleaned out some spaces in closets that were occupied by stuff I haven't used or needed. It was hard, both physically and psychologically, but I wanted to make room for new stuff. Yea for our Marchlings' birthmonth!
We took out 7 kitchen garbage bags full of paper and 3 lawn size garbage bags of 3-ring binders. I got rid of 2 diaper boxes full of shirts that no longer fit. I purged 3 gallon sized bags of makeup. And I regifted some mani-pedi kits that I wouldn't use because I took all my nail polish to the hazardous waste disposal when I got pregnant. Then I was able to put away some things that were sitting out and overall we have less clutter.
Do you wrap birthday presents for LO? Is there such a thing as edible wrapping paper? Still 2 weeks until LO's B-day but I am thinking about it constantly. We got some "it's fun to be one" and "my 1st birthday" clothes this week, secondhand of course. My friend sent some decorations. Family are sending gifts in the mail. I got some new balls for his ramp and some new fixtures for his water table. We got a used wall hanging that has inches and feet on it. One brand new PJ. My mom (G-mama) is coming out. We might do a Zoom party. Advice? Ideas? Grandma wants to do a cake smash.
No comments:
Post a Comment