Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Jan Feb 2023 Thoughts

Jan 2 - Seems like DH is happy to return to work tomorrow. I, on the other hand, have a couple more weeks of winter break. So I scheduled a lot of "mommy & me" type stuff and two Disneyland days. LO is home with me until school resumes on Jan 23.

Kiddo is showing a strong preference for mommy at diaper change and nap time. I am finally feeling like the house is back in shape after we involuntarily got our fences redone. So much carnage to my garden! We traveled Dec 12-18 and Dec 23-27 so we left the fridge totally empty for most of December. Our fridge is now fully restocked and Christmas is put away and we're caught up on laundry.

Unfortunately we stayed at a cheap hotel for Thanksgiving and brought back fleas. It's been such a stress constantly washing sheets, blankets and couch covers and vacuuming and spraying. I regret being a cheapskate!!! It would have cost us $200 to switch hotels but it will cost $2200 to have pest control come over here and spray. So we're trying to treat it ourselves. And by "we" I mean ME because DH isn't really doing anything to help.

It's like when he's on vacation DH just stops doing chores. When I'm on break from school, he relies on me to do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and childcare. While he naps all day and complains about how tired he is and eats junk food even though he is diabetic. And then he complains when I "drag" him along to playdates and outdoor workouts.

I'm also over DH's lazy parenting style. He lets LO watch cartoons all day. Then he wonders why LO has turned into a whiny monster. I prefer to schedule playdates, go to a park, museum, shopping... anything to keep us busy. I let LO watch 1 hour of TV while he is waking up (6-7am) and 1 hour while I cook dinner (4-5pm). But DH just doesn't take a hands-on approach with LO.

I'm on the floor playing cars or outside chasing LO around. I definitely think the whining is 10x worse if LO isn't worn out. I plan busy boxes with sensory stuff or cooking together or go for a walk, there are literally endless things to do together. It does take time to plan and set up and then it takes initiative to get kiddo going on a new task. It seems like DH just doesn't do that, doesn't want to, doesn't think about it, or doesn't know how.

TLDR I love my husband and I love how he supports me in a lot of ways but I feel like we have very different ideas about how to parent.

Feb 27 - I feel like my life consists of chores. We will "graduate" from early intervention on Marchling's bday and I'm kinda glad. We have had a parade of therapists through our house 2x per week for 7 months now and the # of words kiddo says hasn't changed much. Granted he does say mama, dada and wawa but that's all the progress we've seen. I'm tired of cleaning our house for other people's benefit.

We had an assessment last Friday for transition to public school IEP. Now we wait until March 10th to hear the results and recommendations. I know each of us has our challenges with our kiddos and I love ours dearly. Looking forward to whatever is next in our speech therapy journey.

Feb 28 - "The Perfect Mother" by Aimee Molloy was selected by my mom fitness group as a book club read. It's about a bumper group. I am listening to it for free from hoopla in audiobook format.

I bought three plane tickets to visit my parents this summer: one for me, one for Marchling and one for my husband. My mom is being very negative about it. She wants us to stay with her but she's a hoarder. I asked her to clean out a bedroom but she refused. I booked an Airbnb less than 1 mile away and she's complaining that it's too expensive. Welp. My mom says it would have been easier if DH didn't come but I told her that I want him there. It's been since 2018 that he came "home" to Nebraska with me. My mom only wants to see her grandson and she wants him all to herself. Yet, she promised to come visit us every 6 months and has only been here for the birth, 6 months and 1 year birthday.

Last summer when we went to visit Nebraska, just me and Marchling, we got COVID and had to quarantine the whole visit. I'm already regretting summer 2023 and we haven't even got there yet.

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