Fertility Part 4

The 35 hours between the "trigger shot" and egg retrieval were awkward to say the least. I felt like I had a bunch of grapes in my pelvis. I had to walk slowly, I avoided bumping up against counter tops, I wore maternity leggings (no waistband). It was difficult to sit comfortably. I was getting some aches and pains in my back and my legs. Dear husband took Monday, March 18th off of work to be available for all my needs so that I wouldn't be tempted to do much. I did hard-boil 24 eggs, but that's about it. He did all the lifting when water needed to be poured out.

The image below shows like some kind of female anatomy. I don't like to use the word "average" so let's say that this image depicts one woman's body. Many times when I went for transvaginal ultrasound, the doctor could see one of my ovaries but not the other. Four times out of five he had to use an ultrasound on the outside of my body. So I don't know how exactly they went in to retrieve my eggs, but he mentioned that they may have to do it from outside my body. I don't know if it's all my belly fat that caused my ovaries to be in a different place, because my hips and waistline surely don't resemble the image below.

The day of the operation, Tuesday, March 19th, I was feeling good and ready to get those eggs out. We woke up at 4am to arrive at the doctor by 6am for a 6:30am check-in time and 7:30am procedure. We met a nice woman in the waiting room that told us her daughter-in-law was having egg retrieval and her son was having his sperm removed surgically. I think that made my husband feel better about being able to release naturally.

Everything about the procedure was easy, I was given several medications to calm me down and knock me out (propofol) when I woke up they brought my husband in. They told us the good news, 14 eggs were retrieved. They wheeled me out in a wheelchair and I went back home to recover in our La-Z-Boy recliner. We binge-watched Limitless on Netflix. We binge-watched Designated Survivor. I took all the 300-30 tylenol-codeine that they gave me on a 4-6 hour interval.

Dear husband got it in his mind that we definitely needed to get rid of our second car. He called up KPCC vehicle donation program and agreed on a pick up date of Thursday, March 21st. The auction company called me on Wednesday, March 20th to schedule a time (morning). They came by on Thursday, March 21st exactly on schedule and loaded 'bandito' up on the truck bed and drove it away. I'm not going to lie, I did cry a bit. Ok I sobbed. Let's blame the hormones.

End of an era #smartcar Smart was originally an acronym for ‘Swatch Mercedes Art’ #microcar #citylife #LosAngeles aka rollerskate aka bandito #lifegoals #BucketList https://t.co/sdNQiZlWz2

— Dr. Kayla A. Kaiser (@hamerk02) March 21, 2019

Wednesday, March 20th, dear husband went to work and left me home alone. I binge-watched The Order on Netflix. Thursday, March 21st dear husband went to work and left me home alone. I binge-watched The Big Family Cooking Showdown. I understand that he needs his space, but I definitely didn't hesitate to ask him to make me a protein shake for dessert. I was hard to watch him eat cupcakes after dinner, but at least the Whey protein is chocolate flavored.

A friend asked me what it felt like and I think it's like what liposuction must feel like. It was like I had been stabbed in the gut many times. Not a great feeling. The discharge papers suggested that it would feel like bloating or cramping and I disagree. It fully felt like I was healing from being stabbed. My weight didn't fluctuate, so I don't think I'm suffering from OHSS. Luckily, a friend told me "not gonna lie, egg retrieval hurts like a bitch" and she told me that was the worst part. So at least I was fairly warned.

I want to emphasize again that my experience will not be everyone's experience. Every woman reacts differently to these circumstances. Some women have said that Follistim, Menopur or whatever their doctors were giving them turned them into a crazy dragon lady. For me, it mellowed me out. In fact, I wouldn't mind feeling like that all day every day. Also, some people go back to work the day after retrieval and I don't think I could have done that. My job is strenuous on my body, I do a lot of running around, pivoting, lifting, drawing on the board, moving chairs around and I know I could not have done that 24 hours after egg retrieval. No way.

Gel Eye Mask

My symptoms included body aches (neck, lower back, backs of my legs) and headaches. These aren't too surprising to me since I get similar symptoms at different times in my cycle (ovulation and PMS). During the 35 hours between the "trigger shot" and egg retrieval, I used a frozen gel eye mask to get to sleep without taking medication. Sometimes I take Tylenol PM or Aleve and Benadryl when I have a bad headache that is preventing me from sleeping, but I was trying to avoid any additional medication so that it wouldn't interfere with the surgical anesthesia. I would definitely include a gel eye mask in an IVF gift basket if you are considering making one for a friend or family member.

Speaking of a family member... I acknowledge that this process is painful, but if I had to go through it again for one of my sisters -- I totally would. Today is my first day without 300-30 tylenol-codeine and I'm making due with 1000 mg tylenol. I took one dose at 5am when I woke up in pain and I just took a second dose now at 1pm. I'm not pain-free yet and it's hard to not lift and not exercise. But we proceed with a hopeful heart and a positive, grateful state of mind.

Without the Follistim and Menopur, I was a lot more restless and it wasn't as easy for me to fall asleep, so I can say that those medications genuinely did make me more tired. Or if not the medications, then what they were causing my body to do was making me tired. In fact, I wasn't able to work a full day on Thursday or Friday (March 14-15) which would have been DAY 8 and 9.

Wow, I've basically been writing all morning (for 4 hours) so it might be time for lunch and then time to do some actually work to prepare for Monday morning classes. The good news we got on Wednesday, March 20th was: out of the 14 eggs retrieved, 12 were mature enough to ICSI (inject with your Mike's sperm). Out of those 12 eggs, 11 fertilized normally. This is amazing! They are incubating now and growing (hopefully) to a day 5 blastocyst stage. I don't know if that day will fall on Saturday, Sunday or Monday (March 23, 24, 25) but we should get that news soon.

On day 5 or 6 after fertilization, the blastocysts will have some tissue removed for preimplantation genetic screening (PGS) testing. This is recommended due to age risk (maternal age over 36 years). This is not cheap $5000-6000 but it is complex enough to warrant doing. PGS testing involves fluorescence in situhybridization (FISH), array comparative genomic hybridization (aCGH), single-nucleotide polymorphism (SNP) arrays, multiplex quantitative PCR or next generation sequencing (NGS) to determine the chromosomal status of the embryo to facilitate selection of desired embryos for implantation. The results look simple but the testing procedure seems pretty complicated.

https://meetthehopefuls.com/2015/08/20/ivf-2-cycle-update-and-pgs-results/

So we await the news about how many of our embryos have grown to blastocyst stage. Then we'll have a 10-14 day wait until we get the PGS results back. That's OK with me since I kind of want to wait until my mid-May cycle to stimulate for embryo transfer (assuming we get at least 1 normal embryo).

Fertility Part 3

I would like to rewind and press play again on some other aspects of this fertility journey. I want to share with you what I ended up eating, because my appetite changed dramatically. I read some good advice, after my egg retrieval, that it is a good idea to stock up on items you will need BEFORE the procedure. Also get the laundry done and have lots of clean comfy clothes and clean sheets for your bed rest. I did some of this, but now we're out of clean clothes and I'm still not supposed to be lifting anything over 10 pounds for another week or so while my ovaries calm down.

We were told to "eat healthy" and "no exercise" which is why on Wednesday and Thursday (March 6-7) I enjoyed my last CSUN CTBF workout followed by an egg McMuffin and regular cheeseburger for dinner. I have been using MyFitnessPal diet tracking app, which recommends 50% of your diet in the form of carbohydrates, 30% fat and 20% protein. I had been struggling to get enough protein and I was almost always getting too much fat. So let's remember that my DAY 1 = Thursday, March 7th.

Dear husband and I both agreed that this process became primary focus in our daily lives. Thank goodness I have been on Spring Break since DAY 10. I'm at work today, trying to ease back into it. I haven't had any coffee yet and I will try to stay off of it since we don't know when we'll go for implantation. There were so many things to remember to do each day, not listed in my meal plan below are the vitamins. My LabCorp results indicated that I was Vitamin D insufficient so I started taking 2000 IU at two separate meals, in addition to the 400 IU included in my prenatal vitamin. I also take DHA/EPA softgels.

Vitamin D-3

During the first week of March, I decreased my carbs and fat to 46% and 32% respectively, and increased my protein to 22%. During the second week of March, I decreased my carbs and fat to 35% and 39% respectively, and increased my protein to 26%. The third week of March, my carbs and fat were 37% and 38% respectively, and increased my protein to 25%. I am targeting these numbers based on a study finding that when women's daily protein intake was 25% or more (of all food eaten) and whose carbohydrate intake was 40% or less, they achieved four times the pregnancy rates of patients who ate less protein and more carbs daily before and during IVF cycle.

It started off innocently, and unintentionally. I didn't even read about that study until March 17th. It started off with a craving for Think Thin bars (20g protein, 0g sugar). At first I made fun of them but after getting used to it, I really started to enjoy those for breakfast (March 5, 6 and 7). On March 6th I went by myself to Rite Aid and bought Vitamin D 1000 IU pills, four cans of B4Y coconut water, and six GNC Total Lean shakes (25g protein, 2g sugar). I settled on that brand of shake because it had some whey protein, and it said on the label gluten free, lactose free and low-carb friendly. Turns out it was made with lactase enzyme in it so although it did contain milk, it was digestible for me. So then I felt ready.

Other protein sources that I utilized included Pure Protein bar (20g protein, 2g sugar) and Rx bar (12g protein, 0g sugar). I had already had Garden of Life (28g protein). My sister let me know that Whey protein has leucine and Garden of Life does not.

leucine

We went to Von's grocery store on March 12th, Whole Foods grocery store on March 13th, the Matador Mercado on March 14th. We went to the Encino Farmer's Market on March 17th to pick up avocados, apples, salad, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts. We finally got around to Trader Joe's on March 17th to pick up the Whey protein, some coconut water, salt-free raw nuts, frozen fish, almond milk and vegetable juice to help me during my recovery days.

We had some Pedialyte in the fridge leftover from some time when we were sick, so I started drinking that around day 8. The Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) prevention instructions from the doctor recommended low sugar and to include coconut water and vegetable juice specifically. I tried drinking Gatorade one day and it just had too much sugar. The Trader Joe's low sodium Garden Patch juice is actually really good.

Importantly, I was instructed to take in 3 Liters of water per day. I found it handy to have two 500 mL bottles and I knew that if I drank them three times then I was getting my fluids. It is annoying to have to get up and pee every 45 minutes, but I would rather be flushing everything out of my system than sitting in a puddle of toxins. The instructions also noted that I should be weighing myself every day and call the doctor right away if my weight fluctuates 5-10 pounds (gained) over 1-2 days.

DAY 1
breakfast Think Thin Bar, Coffee with Creamer (2 cups)
lunch Flatbread, Turkey, Colby Jack Cheese
dinner Egg McMuffin, classic cheeseburger

DAY 2
breakfast raw almonds, oatmeal, raisins, Coffee with Creamer (2 cups)
lunch reduced fat Triscuit, Turkey, string cheese
dinner grilled chicken salad (IHOP) + 2 scrambled eggs

DAY 3
breakfast yogurt, banana, English muffin, peanut butter, 2 egg whites, Coffee with Creamer (2 cups)
lunch grilled chicken, vegetables, 2 oatmeal cookies, cantaloupe, honeydew, strawberry, grapes
dinner spaghetti with meatballs and fresh steamed broccoli with mizithra cheese

DAY 4
breakfast yogurt, cantaloupe, honeydew, biscuits, gravy, Coffee with Creamer (2 cups)
lunch oat bread, peanut butter, strawberry jam, 2 oatmeal cookies
dinner lentils and sausage

DAY 5
breakfast burrito with potatoes, egg and cheese
lunch Coffee with Creamer (2 cups)
dinner roasted cauliflower, roasted sweet potato cubes, boiled chicken breast

DAY 6
breakfast Pure Protein Bar, Coffee with Creamer (1 cup), Triscuit, Lemon Zest Luna Bar
lunch pupusa with pork and black beans and cheese, cole slaw with salsa
dinner chicken tortilla soup (chicken breast, black beans, corn) with avocado

DAY 7
breakfast Pure Protein Bar, Coffee with Creamer (1 cup)
lunch egg salad, green salad with peas, beef meatloaf
dinner chicken tortilla soup, avocado, roasted carrots, braised red cabbage

DAY 8
breakfast Rx bar, Coffee with Creamer (1 cup)
lunch firm tofu, steamed broccoli, chicken breast, candied pecans, arugula salad, quinoa, cucumber, tangerines, raw almonds
dinner coconut water, Pedialyte, Total Lean shake, braised red cabbage, white fish, 1 egg

DAY 9
breakfast Think Thin Bar, Total Lean shake, Coffee with Creamer (1 cup)
lunch apple with peanut butter, 2 hard boiled eggs
dinner Total Lean shake, kale salad, avocado, coconut water

DAY 10
breakfast Total Lean shake, 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 stuffed grape leaf, quinoa, barley, mixed vegetables steamed, Pedialyte, beef meatloaf. This is the first day I tried drinking herbal tea instead of coffee.
lunch southwest chicken salad (half), soy milk, Garden of Life protein powder
dinner southwest chicken salad (half), edamame, cherry tomatoes

TRIGGER DAY
breakfast 2 hard boiled eggs, walnuts, Total Lean shake
lunch chicken southwest salad, coconut water, blueberries
dinner beef and black beans with turkey sausage

DAY 12
breakfast Total Lean shake, 2 hard boiled eggs
lunch lamb gyro meat, green salad, grilled zucchini, white fish, babaganoush, 4 stuffed grape leaves
dinner Pedialyte, Whey protein, almond milk

RETRIEVAL DAY
breakfast Whey protein, almond milk, 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 small avocado
lunch beef and black beans with turkey sausage
dinner chicken, cole slaw, mixed greens, garden patch juice, apple, coconut water

DAY 14
breakfast coconut water, Whey protein, almond milk, 2 hard boiled eggs, apple, walnuts
lunch chicken, cole slaw, mixed greens, Gatorade, garden patch juice
dinner Whey protein, almond milk, 2 hard boiled eggs, blueberries, 1 small avocado

DAY 15
breakfast Whey protein, almond milk, 2 hard boiled eggs, apple, walnuts
lunch beef and black beans with turkey sausage, garden patch juice, coconut water
dinner Whey protein, almond milk, egg salad, roasted Brussels sprouts

DAY 16
breakfast Whey protein, almond milk, blueberries, oatmeal, yogurt
lunch egg salad, mixed greens, chickpeas, almonds, coconut water
dinner salmon and steamed broccoli

One of the side-effects of the hormones reported was constipation, but I didn't experience that. I tend to include a good amount of fiber in my diet, so maybe that's why it wasn't an issue for me. Some people said "don't eat cold food" or "don't eat raw vegetables" but I think the most important piece of advice is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY and when I did, I ended up eating exactly the right stuff.

That's all I can share with you because Day 16 is actually today! I mentioned in a previous post that I was feeling so good when I was on Follistim and Menopur. It was like walking on a cloud. Also my appetite was like, normal. I wanted to eat only healthy food. It was easy to eat a bit and then stop eating. Now, I'm back to myself. Hungry as a hippo. Short-tempered. Anxious. I wonder how I will be feeling on the pregnancy hormones...

Fertility Part 2

We finalized the loan on March 4th. We completed the consent forms electronically, which was super-streamlined but also pretty terrifying. We had to read through all the contingencies and make decisions about our eggs, sperm and any fertilized embryos under a variety of possibilities. I decided to donate them to scientific research in the event that we didn't use them.

I started my regular period on March 5th (full flow). Day 3 of the menstrual cycle is considered Day 1 of medication to stimulate egg production. I went in on Thursday, March 7th to have a transvaginal ultrasound and got blood drawn for estradiol testing. The estradiol results came back 19.96- within normal limits to start! So that day was our first injection of 300 units of Follistim- DAILY and Menopur is 75 units DAILY – at a consistent time every night. We ended up doing the first one at 8:30pm because we were having an "environmental / sustainability" committee meeting for the Northridge East Neighborhood Council and that's when we got home.

Thursday was a bit stressful because I waited too long to start working on a poster. I spent the afternoon finishing it up and got it submitted to the printer by 5pm. We went to FedEx down on Ventura Blvd to pick it up in the morning and then made it to school by our usual time. We had all our bags packed on Thursday evening, which is great because then we could get on the road by noon on Friday.

Luckily, we had reserved a wonderful hotel in Fresno for the weekend. I attended the CSU Symposium and presented a poster on what I have changed in my teaching as a result of participating in 170 hours of professional development. There was a kitchenette with a great long marble surface that was exactly like our kitchen at home. It made me feel very comfortable doing injections there each night. There was also a sofa with a chaise that was a great place to rest while the medication sank in.

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Since we have a dog, we have been loyal customers to La Quinta Inn and Suites. They are dog friendly, have consistently great service and free breakfast. We got this wrap around king suite for being loyal customers. Dog lovers--stay at La Quinta Inn and Suites. Thank you @laquinta_rdu #dog #dogsofinstagram #instadaily #instagram #pic #photography #instaphoto #best #motivation #life #lifehacks #love #malteseofinstagram #poodlesofinstagram #poodle #malteseofficial #poodlesofficial #dogs #dogsarefamily #pets #petfriendly #petfriendlyhotels #laquinta

A post shared by mike kaiser (@mike_thinks_photos) on Mar 8, 2019 at 10:08pm PST

We went in for another ultrasound and blood draw on Monday, March 11th (Day 5). The estradiol level was 219.2 and Dr. Kolb saw 8 follicles on the right and 6 on the left. I didn't want to get my hopes up too much, but this was great news. To be sure, I was tired. Each night, I would go to sleep right after my injections (8:30pm) and I had no trouble sleeping through the night. We were waking up very early (around 5am) to be at the doctor's office by 6:45am for 7am appointments. HRC was fantastic at getting us in and out of there since I was working 5 days a week at that time.

I noticed my mood improved dramatically. I was very easygoing, much more than usual. It was like being on an antidepressant and antianxiety medication. I was extremely cool-headed, thoughtful, supportive and nice. Very unlike me. I also had dramatically different cravings for protein. I didn't want ANY carbs or dairy. I wanted no fruit. I craved leafy green vegetables and eggs. I will post another blog about my diet.

On Wednesday, March 13th (Day 7) at 9pm we added a third injection to the regimen. Ganirelix comes in a prefilled syringe, 250 mg in 0.5mL, which made it easy. Follistim comes in an ampule that you put into a "pen." Menopur is a powder that you reconstitute in saline solution and then inject it with a syringe. Mike was an absolute champ at administering these injections. We developed a routine where I would set everything out on a clean surface, I would sterilize my skin, and he would do all the mixing and injecting. We made a great team, but I think we were both getting tired of it by day 10.

Saturday, March 16th (Day 10), we had another ultrasound and blood draw. I never got the results of this one, possibly because it wasn't so important or maybe they didn't want to scare me with the number. It was a good time to ask questions and we found out that although after egg retreival, we would get a break from injections, the pregnancy would be carefully orchestrated with a new regimen of injections. Knowledge is power and I'm glad Mike spoke up and asked about that. We did our last injections of Follistim, Menopur and Ganirelix on that evening.

We were given the "trigger shot" medication (Lupron 4mg + hCG 2500 units) premixed in an ampule which we were told to store in the fridge and administer in the usual way at 8:30pm on Sunday, March 17th (Day 11) which I felt was lucky since it was St. Patrick's Day. We were instructed to do only that injection and not the others, so it was nice to do just one shot instead of 3. At this point my mood started changing away from being that easygoing, wonderful person that I got to experience for 10 days of bliss.

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Images from the water briefing

A post shared by Kayla Kaiser (@hamerk02) on Aug 17, 2018 at 11:15am PDT

On Monday, March 18th, Mike had the awesome idea to go wildflower viewing since we're in the midst of a superbloom, but the flowers were in Lake Elsinore. Unfortunately, that is a 2 hour drive (about 100 miles away) and I just wasn't feeling up to it. We ended up at the Japanese Garden in Van Nuys, that is a 15 minute drive (about 7 miles away). It was a fantastic way to unwind and do some walking meditation. We were both feeling a little anxious about our respective procedures of egg retrieval and sperm production, so doing something outside of the house but nearby the house was a great way to spend the day.

Fertility Part 1

I've undergone a transformation such that I almost don't recognize myself. The priority for this year is above all, create human life. We're in the midst of fertility treatment.

I've written on this blog about fertility and advanced maternal age in the year 2012. It's hard to believe it's only 7 years later and we weren't trying to have a baby but we weren't trying not to have a baby and the time just flies by. I was a lot more self-involved 7 years ago. Now I think I spend more time genuinely thinking about other people. Being happy for them. Thinking of how I can be of service to others.

I wanted to write a post in February but that month is so short, it has already flown by. Mid-January we went to an informational session on the fertility treatments. Early-February we went to our first consultation appointment. The transvaginal ultrasound was uncomfortable but not painful. It reminded me to stay humble and not to be shy about letting a medical professional do their job. I went at the end of that week on a Friday to give blood for the Ovarian Assessment Report (OAR)™ and the results came back on Tuesday saying that I am borderline fertile/infertile and that there's a chance of recovering 5 eggs.

Dear husband went in the following week and gave his sample, which was tested according to Reprosource advance semen report (ASR). The clinic is giving us some special attention since we work in a chemistry building and are surrounded by chemicals all the time and have been for the past several decades. They called us this week and let us know that they would be using a microfluidic device for sperm sorting.

I've been watching this show on hoopla (free from the Los Angeles Public Library) called "The Baby Makers" and the cool part about it is that they show embryologists and how they manipulate individual sperm, a technique called Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI). One sperm is manually inserted into an egg using a small needle.

During Early-February we were given a laboratory requisition for infectious disease screening and genetics. I thought we had to take that to our primary care doctor and have that person order the tests in order for it to be billed through our insurance, but the primary care doctor said that we could have taken the requisition directly to LabCorp diagnostics.

I just created a login to browse my own test results, so cool! Everything is normal except my Vitamin D is "insufficient" but not a "deficiency." I guess I should be more regular with taking the Ca/Mg/VitD supplement. Or maybe just get a VitD supplement by itself.

So I guess the next step is to sign the papers for the loan.

Blended Learning

In the last two years, I've had some ideas about "microlearning" and "personalized learning" as well as aligning all content to "global objectives" and I'm using the technology at hand to move in the direction of implementation. But the road is rough and fraught with danger!

Based on my experience of attempting a flipped classroom last semester, this semester I'm going back towards an interactive lecture model with some new features. I had been using Poll Everywhere to assess student knowledge and then deliver minilessons according to whether it was needed or not. As I understand it, this is referred to as "Just in time teaching" or JITT. 

To deliver the content (assigned reading, interactive tools) to the palm of student's hands, I have set up the "Remind" app. The day's content and related materials are deposited into "Wakelet" and then the link to that wake is pushed out via text message and email using Remind. There are some flashcards on "Quizlet" and I hope to stream & record lectures on "Zoom."

I had the great fortune of attending the seminar of Dr. Fiorella Terenzi, FIU professor of physics and astronomy, who converted her GE science course into a performance called "Let's Get Astrophysical!" She converted light from stars into sound. Then she programmed a keyboard with all the space sounds. Her students spend the semester doing the costumes, set design and choreography for this show. That's how she gets her students active. She's on sabbatical this semester here in California and teaching the course at CSU Channel Islands. They're doing a performance the first weekend of May and you can bet I will be there.

Speaking of performances, I was reading the Drag Race board on Reddit and someone posted a link to this video. I found it particularly refreshing. Dr. Terenzi spoke about how she blended music, art and fashion with biology, chemistry, geology and astrophysics. She described how during her graduate work she took great pains to look as plain as possible. Now, late in her career, she can finally let her hair down and have the confidence to be herself. She acknowledged that she serves as a  powerful role model for the women in her physics class. She said, "they look at me - I set them free." Now she doesn't have to stress to "fit in."

Brave warriors!

Intelligent, intuitive, nurturing

Tenacious, persisting

Creative, juggling schedules

Honest, ready to elevate self and others through collaboration and reflection.

Of the most interesting nuggets of wisdom Dr. Terenzi shared with us were that she got to where she is now by consistent, slow progress over the course of 18 years. She has worked her way up to an administrator at the college level, so that helps her make changes. Also she is motivated by the fact that "If you don't engage [students] they'll leave, sleep or drop the class."

I asked her if she had anything to share about installations in museums. She advised for kindergarten age, keep it simple and beautiful. Her work was a piano like in the movie "Big" where if a kid jumped on a square it would make the sound and display an image of a pulsar for example.

For high school age, she emphasized that it is essential to help people find a "home" in science. The performance art she creates is intersectional so that a science major with artistic aspirations can feel a sense of belonging. They engage in merchandising, marketing, styling. It's instagrammable artistic expression of science. She is "promoting a collaborative mind." The stars have their own unique voice and language, so it is an activity that promotes inclusion. She tells her students, "Your Ideas Matter. Every Idea is Important. If we don't have ideas - as a society - where do we go?"

Victory for Safe Streets

I could do with a longer holiday break. If I had to go back to work next week, I could. But I don't want to. Luckily, there are still two more weeks.

The problem is that there were a litany of action items that I wanted to work on over the break. Maybe it would be helpful to write out an exhaustive list below:

clean the closets
clean the garage
create some paintings
do some sewing
tie-dye some fabric
go for walks/bike rides
go swimming
lift weights @ home
lift weights @ gym
do some sit-ups
dance @ the disco
rollerskate
hang out with friends
hang out with family
shop for a new laptop
plan for classes
write reflective reports
write a scientific paper
write poster for a meeting

Some of this we did. Some of this will not get done. With only two weeks left, I have to be strategic.

Yesterday, we went to a meeting of Los Angeles Neighborhood Councils where a few people had tried to pass a motion with the following text

Meeting of 12/01/18 WHEREAS, after two and a half years it is clear that traffic calming modifications to highways, roads, and streets within the City of Los Angeles, as being imposed under the city’s Vision Zero initiative, are public safety hazards, WHEREAS, such traffic calming measures include, but are not limited to, “road diets,” which involve narrowing roadways, replacing traffic lanes with bicycle lanes, and installing physical barriers, WHEREAS, these traffic calming measures pose a litany of safety, health, and environmental hazards, including but not limited to: Violations of state, county, and municipal fire codes as well as California case law, including but not limited to: Sections 503.4 & 503.4.1 of the California Fire Code; Section 21101 of the California Vehicle Code; Sections 503.4 & 503.4.1 of the Los Angeles County Health and Safety Code; Sections 57.503 of the Los Angeles Code of Ordinances; and City of Hawaiian Gardens v. City of Long Beach (2d Dist. 1998) 72 Cal.Rptr.2d 134. Increased emergency response times as a result of impeded fire apparatus access roads; Dangerously narrowed emergency evacuation routes; Increased emissions due to cars idling and stopping-and-starting; Increased pedestrian fatalities and overall accidents, according to the city’s own statistics and available California Highway Patrol data; and Violations of the Americans with Disabilities Act NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that the LANCC demands that the city enforce the laws and within 30 days of our demand to start the process to remove all traffic calming measures, including but, not limited to road diets, from: Current and former state highways; Designated emergency evacuation routes; Thoroughfares that qualify as “regionally significant streets or highways”; All thoroughfares that have seen an increase in accidents since July 2015; and All thoroughfares with two or more lanes of travel in both directions. with a presentation by Chris LeGras, Keep LA Moving

Thanks to the efforts which I suspect went on behind the scenes the language that was officially adopted is the following:

Meeting of 01/05/19 The Los Angeles Neighborhood Council Coalition (LANCC) (XXXXXX Neighborhood Council) takes the position that there shall be no blanket prohibition of road diets or other road calming measures. Communities that will be impacted with a potential road diet or other road calming measure, including neighborhood councils, shall be consulted extensively about public safety and other important issues both before the road diet is proposed and after it is implemented. where a presentation by Aneesa Andrabi and Wajenda Chambeshi, Great Streets did not happen

I'm not saying that it was any action on my part that precipitated this shift, but I'm super happy about it. A few observations from the meeting are that there was:

lack of engagement (only 15 votes from 96 councils) 

lack of representation (few women and people of color in the room)

lack of information (people struggled to define the terms "equity" “road diet" and "traffic calming")
That's like saying the opinion of 3 people represents the opinion of 20 people. I think it's particularly pathetic that a group of old white men thought that they could remove and prevent future safety infrastructure. The majority of traffic deaths are happening in neighborhoods of color.

3. Here they are overlaid on one another: the overwhelming majority of pedestrian deaths are taking place in formerly redlined neighborhoods. pic.twitter.com/4merNp8DII

— LA Bike Dad (@LA_Bike_Dad) January 4, 2019

This is definitely something to consider.

7. Are our actions going to show that we value those lives more than we did in past? @bikinginla @lacbc @LosAngelesWalks @laura_nelson @StreetsblogLA @LADOTofficial @VisionZeroLA @gilcedillocd1 @KeepRowenaSafe

— LA Bike Dad (@LA_Bike_Dad) January 4, 2019

Feeling Flaky

This semester is nearly over. We have just a few precious hours for missing, late and just completed work to be uploaded to our learning management system (LMS) Canvas. It has been a difficult week to say the least.

We were under threat for a mass shooting, and the reaction of our students was such that they called off just one day of finals week. Sometimes a word pops into my head to describe how I'm feeling and then I look up the definition of that word and it is actually perfect.

Our reaction as a campus community to racist graffiti and a subsequent handwritten note has been flaky. I know people are still feeling uncertain about their safety. It has been a challenge to reassure our students and ourselves that the campus can protect us.

I feel my patience is thin and breaking into small pieces. But on the bright side, our department pot-luck is in just 30 minutes. I made mini-quiches that have a flaky crust. I made cupcakes for dear husband's birthday but messed up the icing recipe by adding all the ingredients at once.

Luckily, I was able to salvage the messed up frosting and make a gingerbread bundt cake. But I flaked out on that and forgot to add the molasses, so I hope it tastes OK. I restarted a second batch of icing and that one came out well, but I forgot to bring it today.

I bought all the ingredients for the salad but forgot to pressure-cook the pinto beans. Luckily, I made lentils and rice yesterday so I just used that instead. I also forgot to bring the onion and cheese that I bought over here to school. I just had so much on my mind!

I used to get disappointed about these things and dwell on negatives, but I have been practicing letting go of perfection and focusing instead of making the best of things and adapting and NOT stressing over what could have been but instead celebrating and elevating what IS.

I am so grateful that I made it a point to include redundancy and multiple feedback loops into my course this semester. It made it much less stressful to adapt to shifting circumstances. I am also grateful for technology, having many assignments in the cloud was a godsend.

If there is anyone out there that can suggest a winter training course (bootcamp) for Google Classroom, I would be interested. I appreciate my colleagues that helped support me during this time. The strategies that helped me diffuse negative energy: yoga, coloring mandalas, metta meditation.

On a very bright note, my students delivered their Pecha Kucha presentations in a way that was completely unexpected and a joy to watch. Giving the students the classroom space and technology, while assisting them by putting their content into a timed format, was just the right balance.

It's hard to set goals for next year since I don't have any idea what I'll be teaching. But I know I did some things very well this semester and I am extremely proud of the progress that I made. I know I don't want to travel or be wild over break, I just want to stay home and get centered.