We do not accept skinny bitch season

Do we think skinny is the goal? Who thinks that? Who is pushing that agenda? 
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/06/style/pilates-politics-trump.html

Thank you Ilona Maher for pushing back on the skinny agenda.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMDomCegq_L/?igsh=NW1hM3VvczVoandh

If you don't believe that fitness is political, check out the points articulated here.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGuCtoVRJr0/?igsh=YTVkMGQ5a2kwM3Jh

Woman from the protest is calling out right-wing movements and the rise of skinny bitch season.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIkVWhKN0yl/?igsh=MWJsZG04cHUzdmZnOA==

Ilona Maher, accepting the ESPY award, said, "Take up space. Pitch it faster. Run harder. Put another plate on the bar. And NEVER tone it down."

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMMiRffuSWn/?igsh=cW96eGxmb3oyNWxq

Between full-time parenting, PMS, and perimenopause, it is so rare that my thoughts align with the ability to document. I hope you can find a moment of solitude and peace, and hope amid this day, which seems full of bad news. Trying to keep the perspective and put another plate on the bar. Stronger. Ready to put myself out there. Stand between ICE and a friend if need be. It's all so ridiculous since we're all on stolen land. All this fighting over billions of dollars. It's very male. Very ego. I am sure it can get worse, losing Colbert and NPR / PBS. 

My friend Amber Ruffin posted this about why we can't give up.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMNv1oWPULP/?igsh=MXB3ajA2cnFvdm4wZg==

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A post shared by Kayla Kaiser (@hamerk02)

poverty or wealthy mindset?

The wealthy are minimalist. You can always buy another thing if you want it. Poverty is keeping everything you were ever given because you don't know if you could afford to replace it in the future.

The wealthy are eating higher-quality food because they can afford it. Poverty is eating a greater quantity of lower-quality food because your next meal isn't guaranteed.

MAHA won't work if we eliminate SNAP, WIC, and programs that offer housing security. It will drop those on the bubble between housed and unhoused, fed and unfed, educated and uneducated.

Who benefits from less access to education, safe housing, and healthy food? Certainly not our armed forces. Who will have the skills to keep our country safe from cyber terrorists if nobody learns how to code?

Playing on ignorance. Preying on people's fears. Stoking the fires of hatred, racism, misogyny, and xenophobia. It's the whole playbook. Keeping people in line. Locking people up. Silencing the opposition. Defunding initiatives that level the playing field. It's oppression 101.

Hoarding is a poverty mindset. Keeping literally everything. Extreme cheapskates. Finding joy in getting an extreme deal. Going to great lengths to do so. Willing to suffer in an extreme way to save a few pennies. You're not seeing the big picture. You'll never win in the long game. There is no clear path to transcend poverty and achieve the upper middle class. That is a myth.

Because your parents only taught you how to suffer and survive in a poverty mindset. You don't know how to function as a healthy, successful adult. You don't keep healthy, mature boundaries. It's okay, but you're passing that along to your child unless you can find a way to break the cycle.

As satisfying as it is to see all the No Kings protest signs... It would be even more satisfying to see Trump behind bars. And every day that the conservatives are in power gives me a feeling of dread because it's bad and getting worse.

Even though my pay is going to be cut soon, I'm trying to live my wealthy life by purging junk from our house. We have removed most of the books from our library. We got rid of the items in our kitchen that we no longer use. I want to do the garage and bedroom closets next.

CdM Scenic 5k 2025 Race Report

This year's CdM Scenic 5k was a total last-minute decision. My husband decided to get hotel rooms for us and for my Mother-in-law for her birthday. It turned out to be a total bummer because right after we registered for ALL the races for the 2025-26 season, including the CdM, I found out that my pay was about to be drastically cut. It felt so tragic to know that the money was already spent and we couldn't get it back. We were living like millionaires and about to be collecting the salary of a grad student. But anyhow, here is the race report:

The event itself: Where? How long? When? Weather?

We stayed at the Newport Beach Marriott Bayview for two nights. With parking and everything and paying for two rooms, the total cost was almost $1500.00. Staggering. The weather was good, as expected, cool and humid, overcast for the race morning. The course was the same as previous years, but we decided to walk it. I had registered Albert for the kids race, but his grandparents wanted to spend the morning with him so he didn't end up running. It turned out to be okay because somebody misplaced the box of medals and nobody got one.

Course description and evaluation of event logistics

There were plenty of port-a-potties and there was even an tiny gear check which I used because I didn't want to run in my longsleeved shirt but I also didn't want to toss it. I started with the men's race because I didn't want to wait around and that was kind of bad because now it looks like I ran SUPER fast. I noticed that I had a super fast time for a previous year, so it must have been something I've done before. If you register for the women's race, it assumes your start time was the women's gun time, so it only records your finish time.

How did you train for the event

As it was last year, there are a lot of runners in this community that are strong and fast. It was fun to get passed by the first women and the other super fast ladies. I did run across the Goldenrod bridge because there were fast women behind me and I was warmed up by that point and I wanted it to look like I was running in the photos. I didn't really train. I was trying to enjoy my "off-season." I have since been evaluated by my sister and she said I have a weak hamstring, weak glute, and a strong hip flexor. As a result, my adductor is overcompensating to take the load off the pelvic floor. She said I also probably have a tight back (erector spinae). So she recommended working on my pelvic floor and cleared me to start running again on June 28.

Gear and Nutrition

I don't remember what I ate before the race, but we brought a bunch of food for the weekend. I don't think we ate out at all. We went to downtown Disney after the race. I wanted to buy a photo frame and Mike wanted to get a coffee. It was good to do some active recovery. I wore my Crowned Athetics set from Powerful Hermana for the race and no regrets it was perfect.

Specific experiences

We tried running with intervals (Tabata) but my husband didn't end up liking that. I tried to share my earloop headphones, with each of us having one, but he was not a fan.

Finish and associated emotions

We crossed the finish line together holding hands. It felt like this was the first race of the 2025-26 season. I've registered Mike for a bunch of races this year, so I'm looking forward to bringing him with me across many more finish lines.

Overall evaluation of the event

Overall, the finish line food did not disappoint. We got to eat overlooking the Coronal del Mar state beach. The air was so fresh and clean. All the tables were occupied by the time we finished, but we found a bench near the gear check which is where we sat last year too.

Budget

Registration $39.07 for Albert, $55.25 for Kayla and $55.25 for Mike
Downtown Disney Parking at Gardenwalk $8
Coffee at the Disneyland Hotel $12.40
Parking at CdM State Beach day before race $25.65. Race day parking is free.
World of Disney photo frame $37.70
Room #1 $680.66 for 2 nights
Room #2 $795.82 for 2 nights
$1749.42 total

We did end up using the pool at the hotel, and the jacuzzi. The pool there is half sunny and half shady, you can swim under the hotel. The hot tub is in a sunroom that has windows but it is fully shaded. It feels very spa-like with loungers and umbrellas and cabanas.

Packing List

Overnight Duffel Bag
🩷 Underwear (2)
🩷 clean socks (2)
🩷 PJ
🩷 Regular everyday bra (2)
🩷 Running shorts / top
Running shoes (wear it)
🩷 Sports bra
🩷 Toiletry bags
🩷 Bedtime books
🩷 Night bag w/ eye mask
🩷 Three hats (wear it)
🩷 Three sunglasses
🩷 Park bag/purse
🩷 Jackets
🩷 Phone charger
🩷 Roku

(non-insulated) Snack Bag
🩷 milk

🩷 juice
🩷 bananas
🩷 goldfish / cheez-its
🩷 coffee pods / sachets
🩷 Honey / snacklebox
🩷 Bagels

Insulated Cooler
watermelon

🩷grapes
🩷blueberries
🩷strawberries
🩷Raspberries
🩷Cream cheese
🩷Carrots / hummus
🩷plastic fork
🩷knife
🩷reusable straws
🩷 Hard-boiled eggs
🩷 Galactic Grill Salads
🩷Chips
🩷 Easy Mac
🩷 Ramen
Half and Half for coffee
Yogurt

BOB stroller
🩷 Beach chairs
🩷 Blanket / towel
🩷 Umbrella
🩷 Sand toys


Would have been nice to have our own trash bags.

supplement

Honestly, I didn't have much faith in the herbal remedy recommended to me by my doctor (estroven). But I started taking it anyway because I was desperate. I had been taking a variety of supplements to support mood and milk supply, but it was time to adjust them since I have weaned. This is the new list. I tried to document them so that it would be easier to remember when restocking my pill organizer.

AUVON Weekly Pill Organizer Arthritis Friendly, BPA Free Travel 7 Day Pill Box Case with Spring Open Design and Large Compartment to Hold Vitamins, Cod Liver Oil, Supplements and Medication

💜Menopause multivitamin (A, C, D, E, B1, B2, B3, B6, B9, B12, B7, B5, iodine, Zn, Se, Cu, Mn, Cr, Mo)

One A Day Women's Menopause Multivitamin with Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamin E and Zinc for Immune Health Support, Bone health, 50 Count

💛Vitamin D3 5000 IU

NatureWise Vitamin D3 5000iu (125 mcg) 1 Year Supply for Immune Support, Healthy Muscle Function, and Bone Health - Non-GMO, Gluten Free in Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil, (Mini Softgel), 360 Count

 
💗Vitamin B12 2512 ug

EZ Melts B12 Sublingual Vitamin 2,500 mcg, Methylcobalamin, Sugar-Free, 3-Month Supply

🐠Fish oil 2000 mg

NOW Foods Supplements, Omega-3 180 EPA / 120 DHA, Molecularly Distilled, Cardiovascular Support*, 200 Softgels

💕Estroven = Soy isoflavones 60 mg + 56 mg+ Black cohosh 40 mg + CQR-300 300 mg

Estroven Pre-Menopause Relief, 30 Ct., Clinically Proven Ingredients, Provides Menopause Relief plus Night Sweats & Hot Flash Relief, Drug-Free or Estrogen Free

💊💊Creatine 2.5 g

Optimum Nutrition Micronized Creatine Monohydrate Capsules, Keto Friendly, 2500mg, 100 Capsules

🤍🤍Ca 1300 mg / Mg 550 mg

NOW Foods Supplements, Calcium & Magnesium 2:1 Ratio, High Potency, Supports Bone Health*, 250 Tablets

This is what I put in my coffee:

🐄Collagen 10 g

Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides Powder Supplement, Hydrolyzed Collagen Peptides Travel Pack, 20 Individual Packets

🥥MCT powder 6 g + Lactobacillus 1.5 B CFU

Garden of Life Dr. Formulated Keto Organic MCT Powder - 30 Servings, 6g MCTs from Coconuts Plus Prebiotic Fiber & Probiotics, Certified Organic, Non-GMO, Vegan, Gluten Free, Ketogenic

✨Creatine Powder

Optimum Nutrition Micronized Creatine Monohydrate Powder, Unflavored, 60 Servings, 300 Grams (Packaging May Vary)

💙Melatonin (this didn't work for me)

Vitamatic Melatonin 10 mg Tablets | Vegetarian, Non-GMO, Gluten-Free | 1-Year Supply | Natural Berry Flavor - 365 Tablets

🧂Venture Pal electrolytes (Na, Ca, K, Mg, Zn, Cl, Vitamins B3, B5, B6, B12, C)

Venture Pal Sugar Free Electrolyte Powder Packets - Liquid Daily IV Drink Mix for Rapid Hydration & Party Recovery | 5 Vitamins & 7 Electrolytes| Keto Friendly | Non-GMO | Certified Vegan | 16 Sticks

perimenopause

Here's what I wrote in January

Having drama in my head about perimenopause. My period came early and with a vengeance. I get itchy palms that are so bad, it wakes me up. I can't sleep 3 or 4 nights out of 7. I wonder if going through IVF brought on early menopause. I don't know if hormone replacement is a good thing or not, and I don't know if it will "fix" my symptoms. Also have high cholesterol now. Still breastfeeding Marchling. Haha, saying that out loud is scary, and also, I wouldn't want to tell a doctor b/c it's so uncommon. Running a marathon in March because I thought it would help dry up my milk and facilitate weaning, given the many long runs and early morning training sessions. Geez.

And like reconsidering if a repetitive activity like running is really the best thing for my body. Like I am starting to feel like the accumulation of pounding is taking its toll on my joints and muscles. The development is somewhat limited. I'm not sure if I could motivate myself to lift weights alone if it weren't for supporting some other goal.

And here's what I experienced in my last menstrual cycle (June)

I don't think I ovulated. I can usually feel the process of ovulation. During perimenopause, the ovulation seems like it's delayed about a week from whatever my period tracker says. I think it's always been that way, but ever since my egg retrieval, I can feel when I ovulate really badly from my right side. Sometimes I don't really feel the left one, but this last cycle I really couldn't feel it, and the hormones that usually ebb and flow seemed like they weren't even flowing. 

Then when it came to my period, the blood was brown for the first few days and the last few days. I have never seen anything like that in my life. Since my pregnancy, my periods have been really intense. Like a lot of red blood for a whole day and then the period is nearly done. But the blood has always come out red. I feel like it was definitely an anovulatory cycle.

The good news is that I had a Dexa Scan and Mammogram on Friday, May 23rd. The breast scan came back normal and the bone density scan came back normal also. I'm having an appointment with a dermatologist today. I don't know what to expect because I really wanted help with a skin tag but this dermatologist said specifically that they don't deal with skin tags. So I guess it will be another cancer screening. I requested a referral for a colonoscopy but I haven't got the paperwork yet so maybe it wasn't approved. I will follow up. 

I've had my new glasses for more than a month. They messaged me on June 5th to let me know that they were ready. I enjoy the new prescription and the bifocals. I had absolutely no problem adjusting to them. I guess my old glasses prescription was so out of date that it was a relief for my brain to have one that was more correct. Albert went to his pediatrician appointment on June 17th and he was 37th percentile for height and 32nd percentile for weight. The doctor asked if he could brush his teeth twice per day.

Now that I've done my health gauntlet, it's hard to believe that I was so scared. I mean yes, doctors don't listen and they don't always do what you ask, but it wasn't really that bad. Yes it was a pain to schedule everything and required being on hold for sometimes 45 minutes.

How I weaned

I had no plan so I signed up for a marathon. I figured my milk production would decline automatically as the demands of my training increased. I asked my son when he would stop breastfeeding and he said when he was 10 or so. So that was all I needed to hear to realize that it would have to be initiated by me. About a month before my marathon was our last feed. It came and went with no ceremony. Kiddo just realized that there was no more milk. Then we celebrated the marathon together. It was his first night away from both of his parents (he stayed in a hotel with his grandparents). It was the week he turned 5. Any way you do it is great as long as it works for your family. It does sound a bit extreme in hindsight but somehow in my mind it made total sense.

I remember that

Menopause is worse than puberty because adults have already formed a stronger sense of self. Menopause changes you in profound ways, in your body, skin, fat, and brain. Probably skeleton too, just like puberty. But as a 13 year old, I was still forming my personality and identity, I was more malleable. I feel my adult self is being destroyed and re-formed by menopause, perhaps more profoundly than matrescence. I guess it's scary because I don't know what the final state will feel like or look like and I'm afraid it will be worse than the state I have been in for more than 30 years, the childbearing years.

It is interesting having this realization in the house I grew up in, the house I went through puberty in. The most valuable part of spending time with family has been reinforcing my childhood memories. Hearing a sister say, "I remember that," is so validating. I have a big fear of losing my grip on reality and having no memories. Like is my body already primed for dementia? Is it tied to the brain fog of motherhood and menopause? I have enjoyed reminiscing with my sisters this trip, sharing memories from our childhood, reinforcing things that happened as facts and not made-up fantasy from my silly failing brain. I feel like I'm grasping at a mist that can't be held but my sisters help me retell the story and reinforce it with concrete cinder blocks with rebar. Love those gals.

Running through Elmwood Park, Memorial Park, near the Keystone trail, through UNO and along Happy Hallow Blvd made me think moving to Omaha was a good idea.