I remember that

Menopause is worse than puberty because adults have already formed a stronger sense of self. Menopause changes you in profound ways, in your body, skin, fat, and brain. Probably skeleton too, just like puberty. But as a 13 year old, I was still forming my personality and identity, I was more malleable. I feel my adult self is being destroyed and re-formed by menopause, perhaps more profoundly than matrescence. I guess it's scary because I don't know what the final state will feel like or look like and I'm afraid it will be worse than the state I have been in for more than 30 years, the childbearing years.

It is interesting having this realization in the house I grew up in, the house I went through puberty in. The most valuable part of spending time with family has been reinforcing my childhood memories. Hearing a sister say, "I remember that," is so validating. I have a big fear of losing my grip on reality and having no memories. Like is my body already primed for dementia? Is it tied to the brain fog of motherhood and menopause? I have enjoyed reminiscing with my sisters this trip, sharing memories from our childhood, reinforcing things that happened as facts and not made-up fantasy from my silly failing brain. I feel like I'm grasping at a mist that can't be held but my sisters help me retell the story and reinforce it with concrete cinder blocks with rebar. Love those gals.

Running through Elmwood Park, Memorial Park, near the Keystone trail, through UNO and along Happy Hallow Blvd made me think moving to Omaha was a good idea.

Buy Nothing + Sip and Swap

Today we purged some items from our house and we had a party for all of my son's stuffed animals. Honestly I have no idea how these two things are related. Maybe just that kids grow up. 

It was the biggest compliment to me that my husband said the two greatest purchases we ever made on a scale of $5,000 is number one the down payment on our minivan which we absolutely love. And number two our Lovesac couch. What's funny is he doesn't even sit on that couch but he knows how much I love it. And this kind of brings tears to my eyes a little bit. Isn't that amazing when your family members find joy in seeing your joy? 

Today is the first day of June, the first day of "streaking with the cool kids." I had to drag my butt off the couch and walk this one mile. It helps to have a destination. A neighbor was giving away Keurig pods, which we use daily. And it's so funny because I never thought that I would turn into a Keurig person, but if I'm not mistaken we got this current model off of Buy Nothing.

Now on to the topic of a party for my son's stuffed animals, there's another thing I thought I would never do in my life. What's ironic is I was looking for an excuse to have a party or at least celebrate the end of the school year. It feels really major that my son has done a full year of transitional kindergarten. My goodness! At the beginning of the school year we had so many worries. Will he be able to communicate? Will he have a toilet accident? Will he eat at the cafeteria? Is he getting bullied too much?

All those worries and fears turned out to be no big deal. Yes, I am exhausted from the daily grind of getting to school at a certain time. When my son was in daycare, you could drop off anytime between 7:30 and 9:30. That's a 2-hour window, which seems huge now. When he transitioned to elementary school, the gates open at 7:40 and you have to be there by 8:00 or they lock the gate. Throw in the fact that we basically walk to school, bike to school, or take the stroller every day, which adds an additional layer of chaos that must be accounted for. But it was actually really great walking to school every day, it helped me keep my mileage up when I was training for the marathon. It's really good for streaking, almost no day is a zero-mileage day. 

But it just so happened that I was at Costco this week to buy hot dogs for my son's end-of-the-year celebration, and I just could not pass up a little charcuterie plate, a cheese tray, and an olive plate. Albert insisted that we invite our neighbors to his stuffed animal party. I didn't think anybody would come, but three families ended up coming. The Sarah's came over, and the Skolnik's. The kids played with their scooters, the wiggle cars, the water table. I got a chance to sweep out the garage and declutter some areas that were really bothering me. 

I want to try to carry this momentum forward throughout the next week. Look at what I have that I'm not using right now. Just ask myself, how many times have you used that in the last year? And if it's just taking up space in your house, see if anybody else wants it! It wasn't too difficult throwing all those books in the trash, honestly, we never really enjoyed them. It was a little bit hard giving some good literature to the Salvation Army. But again, these are books that we've collected over literally decades. And we haven't even gotten them out of the closet since we moved in. 

Yes, those books were part of why I fell in love with my husband, but not why I've stayed in love with him. Am I exhausted right now? Hell yeah! But I cannot say that I regret training for a marathon. A kind of helps you make your little excuses vanish like - poof - gone. There are a lot of things that seem easy compared to marathon training. It's possible we got rid of 60 grocery bags full of books this weekend. I don't know how many pounds we carried down the stairs, and out to the car, not to mention the books from John Anthony's storage unit we did last weekend. My husband was lying on the ground, saying he was sore all over. 

My crazy pack rat brain is like, now what are we going to put on those shelves now that they're empty. But maybe it's okay to just chill, breathe, and leave the shelves empty for a minute. I was watching some old videos from two or three years ago, and our house was so much emptier. And when we moved into these condos, we told ourselves, we're not going to fill this thing. We won't be those parents who hoard and hang on to every little thing. We are going to let go of toys. We're not going to let every bedroom fill up with crap. Honestly, that takes a lot of dedication and consistency. It's not necessarily about recovering the money you spent on those things. Negative space and being able to clean your space is also of some value. And I think for us, not that we're planning on moving soon, but when we do think about having to move, those books are like the number one thing hanging over our heads like a guillotine. We're like, ugh, moving those books would be so hard though. So it feels good that we just got rid of them.

What's great about Buy Nothing is the value associated with making connections to other folks in the community. We met some nice people at the Buy Nothing free sale. I love giving stuff to my Fit4Mom community at the sip & swap. I love seeing Albert's hand-me-downs on another little kiddo. Kids that I've known since they were born. And these moms have known Albert since he was born. It's the community we've always wanted. It's a shame that the pandemic drove a wedge into our connections, but somehow it feels like we're finally starting to overcome that separation. And now we're able to let go of the stuff that we acquired during the pandemic when it didn't feel safe to go to museums. We don't need to make our house like a museum.

Bye-bye books

Hello June

Here are two blogs that I had stored in my Google Keep. They're not directly related, but what they have in common is that I didn't have time to type them out. They were all dictated using a voice-keyboard. Mostly while walking. I decided that when I got done with teaching I would subject myself to a health gauntlet and visit all the doctors that I had been procrastinating. I was confident that I would be able to convince someone to prescribe me some hormone replacement therapy (HRT). But I was unsuccessful. 

Here's what the doctor sent me. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322587

And here's what I sent back:

High cholesterol (even with fasting) and pruritus (hands, feet, and vulvar) together are perimenopause symptoms. I don't want to ignore the cholesterol issue, which concerns me. Additionally, mood swings have been severe with unexplained crying mid-cycle and 10-days of PMS now.

I have been using Ultimate Hydration Body Cream for my hands and feet, which was one of your suggestions. I've tried Bounce Back Muscle Recovery Body Butter for my legs, sometimes a lotion with cooling menthol can distract my mind from the itching long enough to fall asleep. I have tried aloe vera aftersun with lidocaine, which does not seem to help. I have even tried Moisturizing Coconut Shea Butter Lotion on my vulva when it gets bad. It's so hard to sleep when I can't get any relief.

Yes, antihistamine diphenhydramine HCl at 50 mg does help, but I worry about its long-term side effects. It carries a risk of dependence, and I am 4321 days sober as of today (one day at a time). I don't want to rely on anything that can lead to dependency. This information is relevant to my concerns.

I'm not sure which type of Estroven is recommended; several types exist. I cannot see how much black cohosh is in each tablet. A review article suggests taking up to 120 mg of the drug/day, which is actually three tablets. Some studies showed that black cohosh increased HDL and lowered LDL, but not all studies showed this. More studies showed that black cohosh had no effect on cholesterol.

Now here are some more thoughts that I didn't share with the doctor:

Since meeting with my GP, I started taking a Menopause formula as a daily multivitamin. It contains soy isoflavones. How much of that is recommended for a daily allowance of isoflavones? Is there a danger of overdose? Will these new supplements together help regulate my symptoms? I don't have time to look into all these things! 

How much calcium is too much calcium? Should I add a fish oil supplement? If black cohosh has efficacy comparable to low-dose transdermal estradiol, why can't I take estradiol instead? It seems more prudent to take regulated substances instead of botanicals not regulated by the FDA. Estradiol plus intermittent micronized progesterone had a significant impact on LDL cholesterol.

And furthermore, can we trust the government right now anyway? Why is our country being run by influencers and funding is being slashed for women's health initiatives? We can't win right now! It was a very heavy Month of Mama this year. With my units being cut at CSUN, I can't afford to hire an outside doctor right now and pay for hormones out of pocket.

Mother's Day Musings

I feel like as women we are taught to accept less. To do more with less. To work with scarcity. And create magic. And that's how we are incrementally left with nothing. The gift we want is to be left alone. We're so tired of creating all the magic for others. 

I am dictating this while wearing a bra that I bought 6 years ago that's totally falling apart. It doesn't fit well. It's not supportive. This should be totally unacceptable. Why is it that advertising can make such big promises? But in the end most garments don't even do the bare minimum in terms of fit and function. 

I was doing so well in my Motherhood Maternity era, both during pregnancy and early Postpartum. In my Kindred Bravely era. In my Latched Mama era. In my LuLaRoe era. My Levi's jeggings era. Now that I'm in my Sweatpants era, I really don't give a crap about how other people perceive me in terms of what I'm wearing. Melani Sanders or “justbeingmelani” Instagram started a WDNC club. I appreciate what I learned during my Sarah Wells era and my Ceres Chill era. And I'm ready for whatever is next.

You don't matter

What I hear the medical establishment saying to me right now is your pain is not real. You're suffering is insignificant. Your problems are imaginary. This is what people have dealt with for thousands of years. We don't care about you. We don't care that you're suffering. We do not care that your life is impacted. We do not care that you're not able to sleep. We don't care about your history of substance abuse. We don't care to actually help you. We don't think you matter enough to focus on your problem. Your contributions to society are insignificant or are largely in the past. You do not have enough value to warrant our attention.

We will address each of your symptoms as individual problems, not look at the total sum of what these clues point to. We are going to dismiss your concerns one at a time, chalk it up to a lack of healthy diet, a lack of exercise, and simply a family history of high cholesterol. We're not going to look at the bigger picture and say that this is a new problem that has arisen in the last 5 years. We're going to say that your numbers are borderline anyway, therefore no action is required.

At what time do you realize you aren't going to be able to fall asleep? At what point do you cancel tomorrow's workout? When do you shut off the alarm you had set for tomorrow? At what point do you realize it's too hot in your bedroom? At what point do you start googling symptoms? At what point do you lean into online providers and telehealth? At what point do you give up? I don't want to be the person who has given up on myself. I want to keep moving forward. I want to realize I am only at midlife. I have 45 more years to go. Family tree roots run deep.

References

C. Castelo-Branco, M. Gambacciani, A. Cano, M. J. Minkin, D. Rachoń, X. Ruan, A.-M. Beer, J. Schnitker, H.-H. Henneicke-von Zepelin & S. Pickartz (2021) Review & meta-analysis: isopropanolic black cohosh extract iCR for menopausal symptoms – an update on the evidence, Climacteric, 24:2, 109-119, DOI: 10.1080/13697137.2020.1820477

Gordon JL, Rubinow DR, Watkins L, Hinderliter AL, Caughey MC, Girdler SS. The Effect of Perimenopausal Transdermal Estradiol and Micronized Progesterone on Markers of Risk for Arterial Disease. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2020 May 1;105(5):e2050–60. doi: 10.1210/clinem/dgz262.

On the plus side, I got results back from the pap smear (normal), the mammogram (normal), and the bone density scan (normal). I got a new eyeglass prescription but there has been a delay. The glasses should be ready for me to pick up in a few days. I am still waiting on the referral for colonoscopy.

sparkle squad

I am writing this post as I have decided that I will not renew my Sparkle Squad membership. If you're interested in joining, membership opens starting JUNE 10th. 

The first sparkle skirt I got was the minnie mouse one. I saw that the red with white polka dots skirt was in a sparkle skirt "starter kit" and I was horrified to see that I was so basic. 

I also dorked out with the compression socks, which were also part of the cringy "starter kit." Next I got the magical shapes skirt, which I thought would be perfect for Disneyland.

Then I started collecting the sparkly ones. I got this brilliant idea to have my sisters dress up as the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty. And this is the best picture I got of all 3 of us together.

Then I joined the sparkle squad and had the opportunity to buy a bunch of skirts for a low price. There is always a sparkle squad signature skirt for each year. 

I also got the visor with the reflective detail. I got an extra one and gave it to my MIL for Christmas. I got a lightning visor, too. I got a Tinkerbell visor as well and a mermaid visor.

I got one tank top that says "strong women make waves" in advance of Kamala Harris winning the election; my hopes were high for a minute there.

I like this Encanto skirt. I have no idea why I don't wear it more often. I also love this Be Awesome trucker hat. I wear it so often and get lots of compliments about it.

The squad had some fun dress-ups to celebrate the summer Olympics. I got a gold sparkle skirt and many others from Poshmark (used). The squad facebook group also offered used skirts and visors. I found a lot of calf sleeves and some shwings on Poshmark too.

I got the snowflake skirt for the Holiday Half, and then I think I tried to stop buying sparkle skirts. I have so many, and I rarely wear them. The reason is that they're kind of unnecessary. But I still want to collect more because I'm silly and love collecting stuff.

I did get the checkered flag skirt because we already had some Lightning McQueen t-shirts from a Halloween costume, and I thought it would go well with the Lightning visor I already had. But again, I haven't even worn it yet.

There were other elements to the squad membership. Like there were a ton of Elfster swaps that happened. There was a pumpkin swap, a sock swap, a friendship bracelet swap, and a Valentine's day card exchange, a sticker swap. But it felt like a membership (that you pay for) to a club that gives you opportunities to buy more stuff throughout the year. I did friend a bunch of people on instagram. I've written previously about the components of the Sparkle Squad that I do think were a great idea. Besides the follow train and the spirit days, we were encouraged to:

• share BRAND/ AMBASSADOR discounts
• share race discounts or coupon code
• ask for the Traveling Squad Unicorn Necklace
• download and share Accountability trackers in Canva

So I will say farewell to the squad. Thank you for the inspiration and best of luck in the 2025-26 season. I had already decided not to renew this membership, but now that CSUN has offered me WAY less classes, it's a necessity for me to cut out any and all unnecessary spending for the foreseeable future until things improve for us financially. And this post is one that I started writing on April 22nd and just now finished, so that's a 6-week delay! Gorsh. We've been busy.

month of mama 2025

I always go crazy for mother's day. I have a wish list of things and I buy them in May and tell my husband, don't worry about getting me anything. This year I feel like I'm scaling back or maybe I've just redirected my spending into another category, races!

• June - CdM Scenic 5k (plus dolphin dash) $149.57
• + Cookie Mile $35.00
• October - Mission Inn Run (5k, 10k plus kids race) $129.70
• January - Citrus Heritage Run (10k, 10k plus kids race) $129.70
• + Rose Bowl Half (plus kids race) $126.42
• February - have not registered yet for the Palm Desert Half
• March - LA Marathon (new date TBA) $170

I'm really looking forward to doing the CdM again. I thought I could skip it but we're doing it as a family with my MIL too. I also considered skipping the Rose Bowl Half but it was a great race and I have lots of friends doing it, so that became important. I am skipping the Disneyland Half Jan/Feb 2026 and I am skipping Every Woman's Marathon in Scottsdale (Nov 2025). Even though I want to do those, I will say no thank you for now and keep them in mind for future seasons. I can easily say no to the Santa Monica Classic even though I love the race shirt, I didn't enjoy the race itself. What I did hear about is the Every Woman's Marathon training plan. There's a 12-week base building part that is available now and then a 16-week training block for in season. I may print those out and add them to my running binder.

In other news, I bought my first non-nursing bra in years! I had this one on my watch list and I thought as soon as I weaned, I would get it. I didn't know what size would feel best so I waited until they had a really great deal so I could try two different sizes. I prefer the smaller size so the band is a bit tighter.

$23.49 (for two) Women's Free Range Organic Cotton Bralette Duluth Trading (size Large is best)
I'm getting tired of always having to charge my smartwatch, so I thought long and hard about my favorite watches I've ever had. I remembered a Timex I had in college with a woven band all the way around, so I searched that up and found the one below. I got a cute pink, blue, and yellow one.

$14.98 Armitron Sport Unisex Digital Chronograph Nylon Strap Watch, 45-7004

Inspired by Run Fit Mama, I got a pair of heart sunglasses that have been perfect for May Grey. They don't really shade much, they are gradient lenses, which I usually don't like, and there's no polarization, but they are cute and fun. The most important thing is that they fit over my glasses.

$12.06 SOJOS Sunglasses Womens Heart Shaped Sunglasses Vintage Retro Glasses with Chain SJ2252 Fuchsia Pink Frame/Grey Lens

I wanted a shirt to wear after the marathon, so I found Lucky Mama. I wanted a shirt for Star Wars Day, and I found one about a Woman's Place. I love them both and they have been just what I needed to feel special and powerful.

$9.99 St Patricks Day Shirts Womens Lucky Mama T-Shirt Clover Graphic Short Sleeve Mothers Tee Tops

$21.94 A Woman's Place Is In The Resistance Shirt T-Shirt

I was inspired to make my bathroom in a Princess theme. It was previously Cars from Disney Pixar and also Mickey Mouse. Very bright red and black. It's not that I don't like Cars, or Minnie and Mickey, but it was kind of jarring to have those bright colors all the time. I wanted to transition to something more cream-colored, more soft. I was inspired by Bath and Body Works' collaboration with Disney on a Princess collection of lotions, soaps, and body sprays. 

$48.02 purchase in store + $29.57 purchase online for 6 lotions and 5 foaming handsoaps. Buy 3 get 3 free or Buy 2 get 1 free. I had thought about gifting these for teacher appreciation, but they're limited edition and running out fast. I hope they do a restock.

$19.35 Disney Princess Figurine Playset 6pk (Target Exclusive) this is sold out now. I had an older one but it didn't have Tiana or Moana. Now I have Tiana but still no Moana.

$6.99 Castle Shaped Photo Frame - Unfinished - Princess Frame For 3.5 Photo

$19.75 (for two) BOENLE Princess Castle Pink Sky Night Lights Plug-in Wall Led Nightlight Auto Dusk-to-Dawn Sensor Lamps for Bedroom Kitchen Bathroom

$17.99 Zak Designs 14.5oz Disney Princess Nesting Tumbler Set Includes Durable Plastic Cups, Fun Drinkware is Perfect for Kids, 4pk (Rapunzel Belle & Jasmine & Ariel), PYRP-0731

In other craft news, I opted to buy a letter jacket. I'm behind the trend but I don't mind. Run Fit Mama and her group Dopey Strong did jackets last year for marathon weekend. I thought it was such a cute idea but I didn't want to take the plunge and buy a jacket in too big of a size and I wasn't sure I would be able to finish the marathon, and also I wouldn't be traveling to Disney World. But the idea stuck with me as a funky motivator. And then Kristin Wentworth decided to come up with the idea of a girl scout troop. She said you can collect the badges on a sash or you can add them to your patch jacket.

$23.99 Icibgds Varsity Jacket Women Men's Baseball School Uniform Button Up Unsex Adult Long Sleeve Coat Fashion Jacket (Purple,XL,X-Large)

$13.16 (pack of 2) Iron on Patches Sports Teams Letter - Pack of 2 - Decorative for Clothing & Accessories, Ideal for Shirts, Jackets, Hats, Jeans, Shoes, Bags - Durable, Easy Apply (LA Gold - 2.5" x 3.5")

I was charmed by the concept of a longline sports bra but on my body the long part kept riding up and constricting my rib cage. It was so annoying that I ended up not wanting to wear this cute set from Crowned Athletic. So I purchased 3" elastic after measuring the length of the longline part. I seam ripped open the longline part. I inserted the elastic and pinned it to see if it would be tight enough. I put it on and it felt good. I got out my sewing machine and sewed the elastic as securely as I could. Then I hand-stitched up the longline part of the bra (the shiny fabric). I wore it on a 10k run, it fit well, and didn't ride up. It doesn't make me want to run out and buy another longline sports bra, because it wasn't trivial to do all that, but it helps me know that if I do buy another one, I have a solution. Also it kind of makes me want to use the 4-way stretch fabric I bought a long time ago. Captain Kale!

$12.99 Royal Blue Wide Knit Elastic Band for Sewing 3 inch 5yards Double-Side Twill Woven Elastic Heavy Stretch Elastic Spool Band for Sewing Pants Waist-Wigs-Skirts-Craft-DIY Projects

running swaps

Hollie Sick from @fueledbyLOLZ made an instagram post that got me thinking. She was arguing that running can be a low-cost activity. You don't need a ton of fancy gear to get good at it. She noted that the rise of influencers can make you think that you need more stuff, but it's okay to start or continue with less. Or possibly that there are cheaper items you can swap for whatever is the "latest and greatest."

Do you need a fancy watch? No!

Armitron Sport Unisex Digital Chronograph Nylon Strap Watch, 45-7004 $13.65
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D2PM2TX9 

I've written before about wearable electronics such as a Nike watch and a Garmin watch, so I don't want to rehash it too much. I lost my original Garmin after the strap broke and I couldn't wear it around my wrist. Then I wore it on my handlebars of my bicycle until one day I looked down and it had fallen off. It looks like I lost the Garmin on the Chatsworth Orange Line Tour (COLT) or maybe I was using something else at the time. It looks like the Nike+ data was from 1/03/2009. I got the Garmin in June 2011, when we moved to Glendale, and used it until 6/10/2018. What I liked about the Garmin was that I could see the route and elevation profile.

I will say that I've been wearing the Samsung Watch5 since August 2024 (basically the whole school year). I like the heart rate feature, but it's not better than the Fitbit Versa. Someone gave it to me, so it was free to me. The things I don't like about them are that they're annoying to remember to charge. The Versa has a longer battery life (3-4 days), whereas the Samsung has only one day and must be charged or it will die mid-day. You can send short answers to text messages, which is nice. You can use your watch as a remote shutter for your camera, and a little preview of the photo will appear on your wrist, which is a cute feature. So far the Samsung isn't generating a map, but I think I could play with the settings and get it to do that if I wanted to. I think it's possible for the Samsung watch to track elevation but I just look at my Strava for that. 

But I have worn this cheap watch linked above about half the days now, since I got it mid-April, post-marathon. Because if you're not using the data from the smartwatch, why are you wearing it? If you just need a timepiece, then why? I still use the period tracking feature in the Fitbit app because it's scarily accurate now and helpful, even though I don't wear the Fitbit Versa watch. Also, when you think of these little computers on your wrist, you have to consider the disposal cost associated with it, how long it lasts, and how often you will want to upgrade. 

At least now they sell strap replacements, but eventually it won't hold a charge anymore, or the company will no longer update the software. Many of my Fitbits lasted only a few years. I think I still have two old ones sitting in a drawer. I guess they were the Fitbit Alta HR and it looks like we bought replacement bands in 2019 for them. I used the FitBit Alta HR from Aug 24, 2018 until May 15, 2022. I guess I must have got it when the Garmin got lost. I remember that is what I used for step counting and HR tracking during my pregnancy. I liked the AltaHR because it only needed charging once per week. I think it would last about 7 days on a single charge. But the AltaHR didn't have a mapping feature.

https://sites.google.com/site/kaiserwellnesscenter/kaiser-wellness-center-statement/fitness-awareness/available-routes  The Garmin was useful for creating maps! This was before we had smart phones, LOL. Honestly, how many times do you go for a run or walk and not bring your phone? And the smartwatch can't be a phone unless you put it on your mobile plan as a separate device with a data plan. Yes phones are bulky and heavy now, so they are kind of a drag, but the camera is fun and they also play music. You don't need three separate devices for that.

Do you need fancy massage gun / recovery boots? Not really.
Amazon Basics High Density Foam Roller for Exercise and Recovery $11.99
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XM2MXK8 

I have addaday roller, but you can find one on Amazon for about $10

https://www.amazon.com/IDSON-Athletes-Tools-Muscle-Massager-Tightness/dp/B015RKCWR6/

I have been doing a mobility program that uses the two items mentioned above. $30 https://www.runfitmama.net/trainingprograms/runner-mobility-program  

Run Fit Fab

Do you need a large volume of shoes? Um, no.

I have one main shoe that I use for running. Then, I know how many miles I have on it because I keep track of when I bought it. When I start to notice that I'm feeling achy and the shoe is breaking down, I make that my walking shoe and buy a new pair for running.

I've written a lot about shoes before, so I won't say much more. What I have done is space out my races every three months or so, and then after I finish a race, buy a new pair of shoes. That's worked pretty well so far. There are places that you can donate your old shoes (like at Fleet Feet) and they get turned into playgrounds, running tracks, track jackets, etc.

Considering what else I wear to run in, I don't wear expensive sunglasses. When they get scratched up, I get a new pair because visibility is important. I have written about the biker shorts I love to run in. I love that they have pockets. I did get a bit delulu and buy a bunch of crowned athletics but I'm trying to just pump the brakes on that and stop. Also, I love living in sweatpants now. This post discussed the crowned althetics sets that I got and why, and also compares the price of running fuel. This is another great swap you can make: from specialized running fuel to something generalized and cheaper.

I've already discussed this hat, but I wanted to also note the price point!

ELLEWIN Unisex Baseball Cap UPF 50 Unstructured Hat with Foldable Long Large Bill $9.99
https://www.amazon.com/ELLEWIN-Baseball-Portable-Research-Foldable/dp/B01JI0XLZS

Running hats are priced between $25-100 which is kind of crazy when this foldable hat does everything I need and it's so affordable. I found it at It's A Wrap (a consignment shop) so I think I paid $2. 

Fueled by LOLZ This is the original post that inspired me to write about this. I started writing this on May 5th and am just now finishing it a month later, so that gives you an idea of how Maycember or Mayhem went for me. Just too many things in one month!

Race Report: Rose Bowl Half

It was my first time running the Rose Bowl Half, which I had registered for as part of a series of races leading up to the Los Angeles Marathon. This was their 9th annual event. 

The event itself: Where? How long? When? Weather?

Start and finish at Rose Bowl stadium in Pasadena, CA, with some portion along historic Route 66. Loved running along Green St and Wilson Ave along the campus of Caltech. We woke up at 3:30am, left at 4am, parked by 4:30am, and snuggled up in the car until 5:15am. Parked in lot K for free. Easy in and easy out.

The weather was ideal, low 48 and high 60 with cloudy skies. Cool breeze for most of the race. No precipitation. We had a flash flood the day before, so the air was super clean and there was only 1 major puddle left that I saw near the stadium.

Course description and logistics

The hardest miles were the first 3 and the last 3. The middle was good. Because I am a member of the LA Roadrunners, we got to warm up and stretch in the same locker room used by UCLA football players 🏈. I felt like a real athlete. The Pasadena Pacers were in the other locker room. I don't know who got the home team and who got the away team. It was nice to have flush toilets. I didn't have to use gear check because we left our stuff in the locker room. The security was strict about checking wristbands.

I'm glad we walked a 5k with bib pickup on Saturday (no race-day bib pickup without paying extra $) because we ended up walking the last 3 miles of the half marathon course in the same direction as we ran in the race. It was good mentally to know the terrain, and I was running faster on race day compared to the day before when we were walking it.

Training

Coach David made us a schedule for the half after the marathon. Normally, the marathon is the end of the season, but due to the wildfires, April was the soonest the half could be rescheduled. It was a 6-week schedule, but the first two weeks were resting and active recovery. Then there were two build weeks and two weeks of taper. Honestly, it was rough. I felt sore the entire time! I ended up with an unintentional 18-day run streak leading up to and including the race.

Gear and nutrition

I wore the race shirt, but I tailored it with my sewing machine. I'm not too impressed with races that offer unisex shirts and also don't allow people to exchange their shirts for a different size. I laid the 2XL on top of another shirt that fits well and pinned it. Probably removed 2 inches of fabric from each side. Got lots of compliments on the ensemble. I wore my wildflowers sparkle skirt for the first time, as it coordinated well with the color of the race shirt and the race theme. I mainly wore light-colored calf and arm sleeves since the skirt and shirt were so busy. And my sparkle Tinkerbell visor, of course. Haha, I had to stop after mile 11 and take off my Crowned Athletics sports bra. Felt like I couldn't breathe. Much enjoyed the last two miles without it. Wearing two bras is a good idea for a few hours, but usually I don't finish the run with both on.

I ate a trail mix containing almonds, pistachios, pecans, dark chocolate chips, and Cheerios 1.5 hours before the race. I ate a banana on the way from the locker rooms to the corrals 30 minutes before the race start. I took 3 Gu, 6 x 2 Clif bloks, 8 salt stick electrolyte fast chews during the race. My training really kicked in, and the fueling strategy I had practiced was automatic. The race organizers told us to dispose of trash in the containers provided, but trash cans were few and far between. I stashed my trash and noticed it while unpacking my vest. Nobody likes running with sticky wrappers.

Specific experiences

I took a tumble around mile 4, taking a photo while walking backwards. I did a slow-motion fall because I walked into a traffic cone. Not my proudest moment. But I didn't plan to take many photos. And that made me keep my phone stowed a lot more during the race. Also, I wanted to keep my pace up and minimize the use of technology. I wore a regular watch instead of a smartwatch because I no longer look closely at my heart rate data.

After getting dropped by the 3-hour pace group before mile 8, I found my groove with a few other runners. Due to the London Marathon, the availability of pace leaders was limited. There was no pace group between 3 hours and 3:30. That was the most fun because I wasn't in a crowd. I was going at my own pace, but I wasn't alone. I didn't realize that if I were in the middle of a big group, I probably wouldn't get any photos from the race photographers because my bib was hidden among the crowd. I was glad I brought my GymBoss and headphones so I could continue with the run/walk intervals even without the pacer. We ran 2 minutes, walked 1 minute. It took me about 3 miles to synchronize my timer with the pacer. But that was okay because the first 3 miles were the hilly ones with more walking.

Finish and associated emotions

I was looking forward to lying in the grass on the 50-yard line of the stadium, and I did it. It was everything I had hoped for. The clouds were beautiful. It was a comfortable temperature. I was relieved to have crossed the finish line without any serious incidents or injury. It felt like my body was cramping up the whole race, one muscle group at a time. Stretching was vital and comfortable in the grass. I loved watching the kids race and seeing my friend Yahaira crossing the finish line.

I had a bittersweet feeling because my son had a friend's birthday party at 11:00 a.m. Initially, I thought I could finish the race and then hurry home and make it to the party. When I realized that would be way too stressful, I canceled my RSVP for the party. So after I crossed the finish line, I called my husband and told him where the gift was. The most remarkable thing was that some of the other parents at the party said to my husband, "Your wife is in really good shape!" I had walked 6 miles at the zoo with my son and 21 of his classmates on the Friday before the race. This is part of the reason I run, to be in good shape so I can go on field trips and keep up with the 4 and 5-year-old kiddos. I'm not going to let them outrun me. They might be faster in a sprint, but I'll catch up and be able to keep going, leading the expedition.

Overall evaluation of the event

Seeing Coach David at mile 3 after climbing out of the Arroyo and turning onto Colorado Blvd was awesome. I heard his voice in my head saying, "And now the race begins!" I thought all the out-and-backs were going to be torture, but it was actually a fun way to say hello to other runners who run at different paces. So many runners cheering for each other and saying Hi! across the medians.

Overall, great route. Good vibes. Pasadena is such a pretty place. Super neat finish line. I had such feels running into the stadium and through the finishing chute. The hills didn't kill me as much as I thought they would, so I guess all my hill training was adequate. I usually plan on running alone, so it was a new experience trying to stay with a pace group for the majority of the race. I didn't train at that pace, so I didn't expect to be able to finish with them, and I knew it would be a stretch. I might do this race again. Or I might run the 5k and sign my kiddo up for the kids' race. I really wanted to finish the half in time to see the kids race, and I did!

Race Budget

Registration    $109.40 (paid on June 10th)

Crowned Athletic $139 for Luisa (Powerful Hermana), $146 for Merida (Changed Fate), $162.75 for Poisoned Heart Villan skort and Red Arabian Nights Princess bra.

Sparkle Athletic Rainbow calf sleeves $18.93

New watch $14.98

New shoes $175.55

Reward for participating in a research study $50.00

Race day transportation (gas) less than $10.

$724.11

I took all the race shirts from this season out of my leggings organizer; it really feels like the season is over now. I'm looking forward to participating in the Run Riverside Challenge, which involves three consecutive races. We've already booked our hotel for the Mission Inn Run. We're looking for hotels for the Citrus Heritage Run and the Palm Desert Half. That would be the extent of my preparation for the 2026 LA Marathon. I'd like to scale back the number of races per year so that we can allocate adequate money for each race weekend and make it a racecation. Disneyland has announced that the Half Marathon weekend 2026 will be their last event for a while, yet I still think I will skip it.

$1466 2024 Disneyland 5k (with two park days)
$284 LA Big 5k (no hotel)
$522 OC Marathon (without running the race)
$640 CdM Scenic 5k
$1063 SMC Classic 10k/5k (with no hotel)
$1075 Mission Inn Run
$1499 Holiday Half Marathon
$1366 LA Marathon and Marathon Spending
$724 Rose Bowl Half (no hotel)

$8639 for the entire "race season," wow, definitely more expensive than Disneyland Magic Keys 🤣. Hence why I am trying to cut back to only 4 races next season. And I have to cut back on my habit of collecting sparkle skirts and crowned athletic. #crownedbroke #sparklesquad

InBody Scan Progress Tracker

I will close with this. I went for an InBody scan at Nutrishop, and these metrics are still trending in a desirable direction. One of my goals for the LA Marathon was to reduce my body fat, which I have done. It's been painfully slow progress, but considering my age and hormone situation, it's remarkable. Running in graduate school and beyond helped me balance my mental health, and changes to my body composition were an unexpected benefit. Now it's the opposite. I'm running to change my body composition, and the mental health benefits are a glorious side-effect.