Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

10 things I have learned from being a Disney mom

It is rare for me to have an original thought these days. Even less likely is that I actually write it down. And further, following up on that thought is the rarest event—like seeing a unicorn. Speaking of magical, I wanted to formalize some things Disney has taught me. These lessons translate into other areas of my mom life, so I wanted to share them in a list format.

1. On time is late. Early is on time. Way early is best. 

For Disneyland, I love doing rope drop. The first hour of the day is the most efficient. You want to be there as early as possible. If there's a virtual queue, join it. This extends to registering for after school programs, summer camps, marathons, whatever. Find out when the registration opens and know exactly what you want to purchase beforehand. Have your credit card ready and check out quick!

2. Having a magical day is your responsibility. Make a plan. Do your research.

Coming to the park with your top three already decided is really helpful, like what attractions and experiences are on your bucket list. This applies generally to prioritizing your life. You can be happier if you know what your goals are and celebrate when you achieve them. I'm not saying obsess over every single thing, but you don't want to be feeling FOMO when that holiday parade you saw last year just happened yesterday because you forgot to plan this year.

3. Bundle and save, but don't sweat the spending. If you are on a budget, use gift cards to limit your spending.

Buying in bulk at Disney isn't a thing, but you can save money with an annual pass (magic key). You can also save by purchasing a promotional 3-day ticket with flexible dates. Waiting until promotions are available will save you money in the long run. I'm not into unlimited spending, but I'm more of a 50-50 strategy. Bring 50% of the calories you plan to consume and plan to buy the other 50% while in the park. Same with toys. We try to stick to a $100 budget for each park day. We've used gift cards to restrict kiddo's spending too. I'm doing reverse budgets for our runcations to see how much we spend; that way, we can make a plan for 2025.

4. Bring enough hats and sunglasses for everyone. Make a packing list and stick to it.

Prepared is armed. If you forget a hat, you'll be paying extra $$ for a hat in the park that is more expensive than it has any business being. Likewise, with sunglasses, even if the day starts out grey, it will probably get sunny by the afternoon. Being outside all day leads to eye strain and fatigue. The best idea is a one-to-one ratio of sun hats and sunglasses to people in your party. This goes for any function like a beach day or a hike.
 
5. Stay ready so you don't have to stress while getting ready.

We have a corner where we keep our suitcases, park bags, toiletry bags, and diaper bags all packed. We copy and paste from previous packing lists and check off items as they are loaded into bags, which are loaded into the car. We keep track of when we leave the house, get to the parking structure, and get to the park. That way, we will know next time if it's worth leaving sooner or if we can try leaving later, and we don't stress about it. We even load up the car the night before so that in the morning we can just make coffee, get dressed, and walk out the door.

6. Comfortable over cute every time.

If you have two pairs of shoes, choose the more comfortable one. Don't even think of wearing something new that you haven't worn before for an extended period of time. Consider bringing a poncho if it's raining. It's not cute, but you'll enjoy the day more if you're not stuck in wet clothes. Make sure you have a pocket for your phone that is easily accessible because you'll need it often and quickly to capture those magical moments.

7. Cast members will move your stroller. It will not remain in the exact location where you parked it. Do not panic. Personalize it.

One of the best things we did was to get a stroller sign with our name on it. When you get enough different strollers in one place, the odds of someone else having the exact same model as you are finite. You need to be able to find your stroller when it's not where you left it, and you don't want anyone walking off with yours accidentally. This could be extended to any piece of luggage for travel. Also this can be extended to life in general, it won't always go to plan. Remain calm. 

8. Any moment is perfect for a sing-along, parade or dance party.

Leave your inhibitions at home. This is the time to make memories with your kiddo. Sing out loud if you know the words. March along with Mickey and friends. Dance in the street. Seize the day. Nobody cares if you look ridiculous. Just have fun and be in the moment. The biggest thing kiddo says is Mommy stop looking at your phone. So if you can, just be immersed in what's happening right now.

9. Calories don't count when you're walking all day.

We typically walk 7 miles or so in the parks. That's about 400 extra calories. Yes, I know Disney treats can be very caloric but as long as you stick to your budget, there shouldn't be too many extra calories involved. Enjoy what you do eat. Don't worry about it. Choose something fun and memorable that you can't get elsewhere.

10. A kiss goodnight is sweet.

I don't know how people stay all day until the nighttime events. I think I've only seen one night parade. But I think this is one of the nicest things about the parks, in concept. To say goodnight with music and fireworks. Or a dancing fountain. Or projections set to music that tells a story. I think this can be generally extended to parenting. Kind of like the saying, "don't go to bed angry." Kiss and make up. Go ahead and apologize for losing your temper at 2pm when you were dehydrated, sunburned, and exhausted. Tell a bedtime story. 


Everything we program into our little ones is stored in their amazing brains. I find it fascinating to see what pours out of my kiddo. I can see that those long days and nights of investment are already starting to pay dividends. Albert is an impressive storyteller. He remembers Disneyland and wants to go back.

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

summer to fall transition

I'm full of emotions right now. So full that I wish I could go out into the woods like a mama bear and let out a primal scream. I am not too sure it's a good idea to do it in the middle of the city because people might think there's an emergency. Or worse, nobody will say or do anything, nobody will notice, and then I'll be terrified that in case of a real emergency nobody would come to see if I needed help.



My baby has made the transition from preschool to public school. He's in a play-based transitional kindergarten, which is a way to provide free child care. It's a new thing. So new that LAist did a series of stories about it. among the parents with kids enrolled in CSUN's Children's Center, where Albert went last year, there was a huge amount of confusion. Nobody knew if it would be best for their child to stay at CSUN or to migrate to TK. The kindergarten program is not a full day, so there are various options for after-school care. It was the main topic of conversation at every child's spring semester birthday party. Parents were frantically swapping names, dates, locations, details, phone numbers, and websites and planning to piece together a full workday of childcare for as little money as possible or at the highest quality possible, according to the family's priorities.

For us, it was a pretty easy decision. We were having to take a half-day every week to drive across town for Albert's speech therapy. At the public school, he can get his therapy on-site, and during the school day, so we don't have to leave work to take him to an appointment. And he won't have to sit in the car and have all the hassle of knowing another school's layout (including the location of restrooms).

Schedule (Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday)

  • 6am wake up time
  • 7am get ready to leave (use the restroom before going to school)
  • 7:45am gates open
  • 8am school starts
  • Breakfast in the classroom, Morning business (attendance, lunch orders), Calendar
  • 8:30am Language arts & independent work time
  • 9:45am Clean up time
  • 9:50am Snack time
  • 10am Recess
  • 10:20am Quiet / story time
  • 10:35am Math
  • 11:05am Center time
  • 11:40am Lunch time
  • 12:30am Quiet / story time
  • 12:45am English language
  • 1:15am Exploration, Science, Social Studies, Art, Health
  • 1:45am Outdoor exploration & Social emotional learning
  • 2:20pm Clean up / Pack up / Dismissal
  • 2:30-2:40pm Check-in
  • 2:40-3:15pm Snack
  • 3:15-4:00pm Homework Time
  • 4:00-4:30pm Arts & Crafts (Indoor Activity)
  • 4:30-5:15pm Outdoor Play (if weather permits < 90 deg F)
  • 5:15-6:30 Centers?
I'm writing this for myself, so I can imagine where he is at any given moment and think about all the great things he is learning. Tuesdays will be adjusted slightly due to early dismissal at 1:25pm. Sometimes the outdoor time and the language arts will be switched, such as at the start of the year, due to hot temps. Then they have some random days that are "minimum days" where they get out at 12:40am. I don't think this will effect us because we have an afterschool program already in place. It's half the cost of the daycare we had before. So not free. But less expensive than what we were paying.

I have a feeling I'm going to love my new schedule. The department sent me over a contract and I signed it. So I feel comfortable adding stuff to the course Canvas shells. Hopefully, there won't be any more shuffling of classes at this point.

I'm beyond excited for run club to start up again. I'm going to try not to get carried away in the excitement and stay focused on grading stuff for CSUN. We'll see where the holidays in the semester impact the lab schedules. I'm hoping there will be some "easy" weeks where I can get caught up. I assume there will be lots of "hard" weeks where I will be struggling to keep up. I have three races this semeseter:

  • Week 1 = Aug 26-30 followed by Labor Day Weekend
  • Week 2 = Sep 2-6 where Monday is Labor Day & Santa Monica Classic is on Sunday 9/8
  • Week 3 = Sep 9-13
  • Week 4 = Sep 16-20
  • Week 5 = Sep 23-27
  • Week 6 = Sep 30 - Oct 4 where Thurs Oct 3 is an Unassigned Day (NO LAUSD SCHOOL)
  • Week 7 = Oct 7-11
  • Week 8 = Oct 14-18 and the Mission Inn Run is on Sunday 10/20
  • Week 9 = Oct 21-25
  • Week 10 = Oct 28 - Nov 1 also known as Halloween week
  • Week 11 = Nov 4-8
  • Week 12 = Nov 11-15 where Monday 11/11 is Veteran's Day
  • Week 13 = Nov 18-22
  • Week 14 = Nov 25-29 also known as Thanksgiving week (NO LAUSD SCHOOL)
  • Week 15 = Dec 2-6
  • Week 16 = Dec 9-10 where the Holiday Half Marathon is Sunday, 12/15
  • Finals Week = Dec 11-17 where 12/16 is the start of Winter Break (NO LAUSD SCHOOL)

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

nebraska adventure 2024

Yes, I'm back from my time in Nebraska herding goats. Lots of things happened. Richard Simmons died. Joe Biden withdrew from the presidential election. Donald Trump survived an assassination attempt. My husband got into a big fight with his brother-in-law and mother. Kamala Harris was endorsed by Joe Biden as the presidential nominee for the Democratic party. I guess I'm leading off with politics because it's so controversial to mention it elsewhere (in real life). And this is my private space where I can say that I'm hopeful for change in America. I hope women go to the polls and vote for Kamala. It's going to be an interesting Fall semester.

One good side-effect of the Nebraska trip is that now I'm back in California, and I'm willing to get rid of a bunch of stuff cluttering our house. I'm implementing strategies for organizing the stuff we're keeping, and I'm ready to part ways with stuff that we don't use. But along with that, I'm also buying new stuff that I think we need. I often get to this part of summer where I realize what projects I won't be able to finish. It's about acceptance. There are only two weeks until Albert starts school!

As for the trip debrief: it is always joyful to see my parents on my birthday. I appreciate now more than ever how much work is involved in raising a child. I also appreciate what a gift it is to spend time with someone. Being present together, allowing others to know you intimately, like all parts of your day and night, all the moods good and bad. It can be challenging though, to have that much contact and to give up control over things like the thermostat, light levels, what you will eat and when and how much. But here is a brief rundown of what we did and how I felt about it at the time.

July 5 - major travel day. arrived at Burbank airport before sunrise and arrived in Burchard near sunset (with a two-hour time difference and at a different latitude)

July 6 - recovery day and my actual 44th birthday.

July 7 - cousin Camp craft #1 (4th of July) suncatchers and the kinesthetic activity was a parachute.

July 8 - waterpark! This was so fun.

July 9 - playdate at Black ranch house. I had a tough night. Lot of coughing and grandma turned the AC off.

July 10 - Cousin Camp field trip to Arbor Day Farm. Monster truck pajamas might just be part of Albert's skin now. Super fun, super hot, super buggy. Got lots of mosquito bites here.

July 11 - Sitting on the floor. Doing my stretches and self care. Not really upset. Feeling like time is passing like molasses. It is slow, thick, and sticky. I'm not really missing home (California) yet. And this environment is not really the Nebraska where I grew up. Not the place, but the people for sure.

July 12 - cousin Camp craft #2 (Christmas) salt dough ornaments and fake snow. Grandma and Grandpa were not impressed with the polymer. They were super worried about how it would effect their septic tank. And it made a huge mess. We also built Elsa's castle out of Magnatiles and put flameless candles inside.

July 13 - AM Cousin Camp (Easter) Craft #3 Bunny Garland with spray painting and wax resist. Activity: Easter egg hunt. PM Cousin Camp (May Day) Craft #4 Tissue Paper Flowers and insects. Glue is fun. Kinesthetic Activity: Ribbon dancing.

July 14 - AM Cousin Camp (Halloween) Craft #5: Yarn Pumpkins, glue was less fun today. Kinesthetic Activity: Costume parade. PM Cousin Camp (St Patricks Day) Craft #6: Coffee Filter Shamrocks Kinesthetic Activity: Scavenger hunt for hidden "pots of gold."

July 15 - We didn't do a track, we did a trail...it was good. Albert mostly stayed in the stroller today. I think he is kind of worn out from Cousin Camp. They're so territorial about stuff. They are constantly whining. Yesterday was very busy. And stressful. We went to the waterpark again. The weather forecast was 107 deg F.

July 16 - It was great to have a nice long chat with DH. I can't let myself think about it too much because then I will start getting homesick. Cousin Camp Craft #6 (Labor Day) was footprint vehicles. The boys had a great time painting their feet and mine. Today Albert and Theodore were stringing beads with emojis on them and then turning their bead strings into a story. It was absolutely so cute. Cousin Camp Craft #7 (New Year's Eve) the craft was rock painting. We painted the rocks with symbols to represent all the other holidays of the year, to represent a year in review. Mentally, I'm hanging on by a thread. In the evening, we went over to pet the goats on the ranch.

July 17 - We finished up some of the earlier crafts, such as the salt dough ornaments. They needed paint. 

July 18 - We just woke up and immediately Albert made his grandpa start reading books.  It was family picture day, which actually went very well. We got some cute mother/child shots, a nice group photo and some really cute pics of the grandkids all together. For Cousin Camp craft #8 (Valentine's Day) we used marbles to paint hearts. I had some foam letters which I stuck on there to make them conversation hearts.We went to the County Fair parade, bounce houses, and the chicken dinner. It was very chaotic.

July 19 - I felt like the end was in sight. The childhood trauma was bubbling up. I had to parent myself this week. I love my family and I don't think we will be able to do this again. I want my kid to know and love his aunts, cousins and grandparents so badly. But I am realizing that I also need to protect my child like I wished any adult would have protected me. I need to set more boundaries. I feel that I need to write out how I am feeling so that I can remember next year. It feels so yucky to go "no contact" full stop. But also I don't want my child to hear my mom just abusing everyone around her and nobody stepping up to say "that's not okay." Cousin Camp Craft #9 - Pinata suncatchers. We put on the Coco soundtrack while we did this craft, which was fun and got me some Disney feels. We went to the waterpark in the afternoon and it was another great choice.

July 20 - This track has been saving my life. Cousin Camp Craft #10 (Fall) we made yarn pumpkins and corn cob windcatchers with pony beads. The craft was supposed to be fall leaf painting with bubbles but somehow we didn't get to it.

July 21 - Last day with all 3 cousins together. Albert rolled himself over on the couch and fell asleep without me right before 8pm. Also he transferred to the bed without contact from me so he must be EXHAUSTED!

July 22 - neighborhood walk with Steph and the double stroller we found on a curb alert. We tried all the configurations of the stroller with the two cousins. And got to walk through "big house land" which is always nice.

July 23 - downtown Omaha adventures with Aunt Steph.

July 24 - another great neighborhood walk and a visit to Hot Shops. And a long travel day to get home.

Final thoughts: There's going to be coffee in hell, but it will always be too hot to drink. There's more I could say about this trip but I don't have the time. I gotta release this into the universe.


Packing list 


Carryon

Baby trend stroller

๐ŸŽง Albert's headphones

cheez-it crackers

oreos

m&ms

cherrios

๐Ÿงป flour sack towel 

๐Ÿฉฒ clothes for Albert

✈️ CARES harness

๐Ÿซง bubble fidget toy

Fruit pouches 


Checked bag

๐Ÿฉฒ underwear (8)

๐Ÿงฆ socks (7)

walking shoes (wear it)

๐Ÿฉด flip flops

๐Ÿ‘– yoga pants (1)

๐Ÿฉณ shorts (5)

๐Ÿ“ท sweat pants / jeans (1)

๐ŸŽฝ tops (7) 

๐Ÿ‘™ lounge bras (2)

๐Ÿงด toiletry bag

๐ŸŽง headphones 

๐Ÿ–️ swimsuits

๐Ÿค  hats

๐Ÿ’Š Nsaids/vitamins 

๐Ÿ‘• long-sleeved shirt (1)

⚡cable for versa 3

๐Ÿ˜Ž Goodr sunglasses

๐Ÿ‘ garment bag for washing

๐Ÿงบ large wetbag for laundry

๐Ÿ’ฐ small wetbag ๐ŸŒž Think sunscreen bag

๐Ÿ‘Ÿ Running shoes

๐Ÿงฆ running socks

✨ Running skirt

⏳ Running belt

๐Ÿ‘™ Sports bras

๐Ÿง‚ Electrolyte tabs

๐Ÿช„ Anti-chafe

๐Ÿ‘› Park bag/purse

⚡Phone charger 

๐Ÿคน‍♀️ LM rompers (2)

๐Ÿ•ฏ️Fake candles


Albie

๐Ÿฉณshort outfits (7) 

๐Ÿ‘– long pants (2)

๐ŸŒ› pjs (7)

๐Ÿงฆsocks (7)

shoes (wear it)

๐Ÿ‘ฒ hat

๐Ÿฉฒ swimsuit

๐Ÿ‘ข mud boots

๐Ÿฉดsandals 


Packing List:

๐ŸŽ€ Evelyn’s bows

❄️ Instant snow

๐Ÿ’Ž Beads

๐Ÿ›น Skateboard/helmet

๐Ÿ‘• Cousin Crew shirt

๐Ÿฉฒ Swimsuit

๐Ÿฃ Easter eggs

๐Ÿงฒ Magnatiles

๐Ÿ–️ Beach rocks

๐Ÿ’ฏ Stickers

๐Ÿœ Buckwheat Noodles


As usual, I brought way too many clothes for Albert; he lived in three pairs of PJs. As usual, I crammed too many busy activities into my carryon, we didn't use ANY of them. I didn't need to bring any snacks, it was a totally fun activity walking around the airport terminals looking for and buying food. It was wild flying home without a stroller. I had four checked bags on the way there and just three on the way home. There's no way I would have been able to get to and from the plane by myself without another adult helping me roll the checked bags / stroller. I should have brought the scooter instead of the skateboard. I think I lost the necklace with his name on it. The fake candles were great as nightlights.

Monday, March 18, 2024

Pirate Life 4 Me

 


Albert's "A Pirate's Life 4 Me" birthday party has come and gone. Also known as the Pasadena Pirate Party in the Park, we had 13 adults + 10 kids attend.

Guest List

Anthony, Mika, Lucas, Emma, Eli (neighbors)
Larry, Victoria, Samantha, Steven, Sarah (neighbors)
Vishwa, Danushka, Summer, Mia, Oliver (friends from grad school)
Christiana, Jeremy, Annika (friends from grad school)
Gil, April, Connie (friends from high school)
Sally, Robert (Albert's grandparents)

Games we did play

Treasure/scavenger hunt
Ring toss on sword
Pirate puzzle
Frisbee to treasure chest
Beanbag to sea turtle
Name that pirate

Games we didn't play

Sharks and minnows
Treasure transfer by toes
Popsicle stick + pool noodle boats
Cannonball bowling
Walk the plank
Eye spy
Dress-up / photo booth

Prizes / giveaways

Chocolate coins
Ring pops
Pirate Booty
Leprechaun gold

Packing List

beach wagon
large plates
cake toppers from Jake and the Never Land Pirates
#4 candle + lighter for candles
table cloth + decorations to hang
paper towels + paper towel holder
small dessert napkins
small dessert cake plates 
cutlery / party straws
music / speaker
solo cups
small paper "snack" cups
serving utensils incl knife, tongs, spoons
drinks (Capri Sun, water, mini soda cans) 

Stuff we brought but didn't use

guest book / baby book
party favors (goodie bags)
pirate dress-up costumes
pirate coloring pages

Budget

$15.41 for ice
$43.48 for 1/4 sheet cake
$121.09 for drinks and candy and chips / pirate booty
$15.32 for Albert's pirate t-shirt
$18.60 for parrot and hat
$25 for women's and girl's costume and hat
$28 for men's costume
$280 for rice, noodles and egg rolls
$8.54 for gold coins
$12.40 for table cloth, decorations, plates, cups
$3.60 for pirate loot (coins, jewels, and treasure chest)
$571.44 total

There will be other expenses, such as printing the photo for his baby book. And I want to send a couple of boxes of party supplies to his younger cousins so that they can recreate the party if the want to. Albert had been bothering us for a "Spiderman cake" for weeks so we gave in and got it for him. It cost $45.99 for ice cream cake (day prior to his birthday, and four days prior to his party). I could have sworn that I'd made an itemized spending report for his prior birthday parties, but I can't find it now.

The good news is that we have a family set of pirate costumes that we can use for Halloween either this year or in the future. Albert was stoked to be surrounded by "friends" and "best friends" and he loved opening presents and packages. He's still breastfeeding and wanted to nurse in the 15 minutes just before his guests arrived, but I didn't wear a nursing bra so I said no. He didn't throw a fit or anything.

Albert had THE MOST FUN playing in the sandbox with other kids and running around the playground looking out of the cannons. The older kids got a kick out of the skills games using the beanbags (which I bought for his party last year but didn't really use back then). They did great with the ring toss and frisbee too. All the kids had fun with the scavenger hunt, and it was great to give them that project right at the start of the party so they had an idea of the layout of the park and where everything was and how to find their way back to our picnic table.

I brought three pairs of pants and he blew out the knees of two of them, he played so hard. We brought his scooter and helmet which he mainly used to get to and from the car. Unfortunately there was a swim meet that day at the Rose Bowl Aquatics Center so it was tricky to find parking. I thought for sure some of our friends wouldn't make it because they were sick or had a time conflict, but everyone we invited actually showed up. We sent them home with chocolate and Pirate Booty and leftovers from the rice and noodles. We ate all the egg rolls and all the cake.

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

women's history month

I am sitting here in office hours and before this I was staring at my reflection in the mirror and I was struck by how I don't look like a professor. I mean, when I think of a professor, I think of someone wearing a tweed suit with suede elbow patches in an imposing leather chair. But I'm wearing jeans, sneakers and a lularoe shirt. Partly because I live in California, and I don't think tweed is something that gets worn here ever due to the weather being so nice. But partly because the dress code here at CSUN isn't a thing. Some people dress like they just rolled out of a dumpster. Which is fine by me. 


Pinterest thinks my fashion style is Dark Academia, which I didn't even know was a thing. But it is kind of how I picture a professor dressing.



When I worked at Claremont, I did wear clothing that could be classified as Dark Academia, but it was certainly more colorful than this. I don't wear muted colors very often.

I'm thinking about Women's History Month and the contributions of women to academia and STEM fields. I'm thinking about why more women don't want to enter academia or if they do, sometimes how they get pushed out. I'm thinking about my own biases and concepts of what a professor should look like and how it causes me to feel some cognitive dissonance when I AM a professor but my reflection in the mirror doesn't look like what I think a professor SHOULD look like. It's a mind trip!

I'm thinking of classism, sexism, racism, homophobia, and wage gaps. I'm thinking of how teachers are expected to make teaching their vocation, excluding any possibility of having a life outside of work. How we are expected to work all the time, making it difficult to balance raising a family and maintaining friendships.

https://www.cta.org/about-us/history

Expectations of society: You may not dress in bright colors, dye your hair, or wear short skirts. You must clean the schoolhouse. You can't leave town. You can't go on dates or go downtown. You have to go to bed early. You can not have a spouse. Yeah. I've read that teachers were once highly paid, but then someone got the great idea to let women do it, and the reason was that women would do more work for less pay than men.

I'm not even sure what the point of this blog post is, but I know I watched the movie "Nyad" last night and it was so powerful. She was so determined and didn't accept that she wasn't strong or young enough to do something that had never been done before. And she was willing to fail hugely before succeeding even though society wasn't very supportive of sponsoring someone her age.

I just have to remember that I AM MAKING HISTORY right now. By existing as a woman in STEM. By wearing bright colors as a teacher. By providing an alternative to the pale male and stale professor tropes for the next generation, to possibly see themselves in acadmia. Like Diana Nyad, I'm doing it.

Wednesday, January 24, 2024

mom rage

I don't know if it's PMS, weaning, perimenopause or mom rage. I just can't seem to calm down. It happens any time I am transitioning to being with my kid 24/7 to going back to work. I don't have the joy of being with my kid. I have to do work, which sucks. And then when my kid gets home, he's grumpy and desparately seeking my attention, which I can't give because I have to cram in all the housework that didn't get done while I was working.

Last month, I had about 8 days of misery before my period arrived, it was bloating and irritability. I am already there and my tracker says period expected in 7 days. I feel like a crazy person. I'm so angry. I'm snapping at family members, raising my voice and inside my body feels like toxic sludge. 

It doesn't help that my Versa 4 started acting up. I really like having a watch and a fitness tracker. I had to retire the Versa 3 and I thought the Versa 4 would solve all my problems but it's having the same issue as the previous one. I'm hoping I can get a refund, but it seems unlikely as it's more than 45 days past the order date. I did use it to track my runDisney training (at least some of it) and the race, but for the price I paid, I would have thought it would have lasted longer.

I can't put my finger on why this little thing causes me so much mom rage. I think it's the timing with PMS and going back to work and this labor strike and trying to start the Fit4Mom RunClub. Maybe I just have too much energy and I should go for a run or walk.

It's confusing because I'm not sure if I am supposed to be on campus right now. I don't typically do office hours the first week of the semester, but now I'm afraid that if I don't do them, our pay will be docked. I have so many little stupid tasks to do to get my classes ready. But it's so hard to calm down and start working on it. 

My husband accused me of leaving the kitchen sink a mess, which I did, but which he does regularly. He doesn't even rinse his dishes, he doesn't even walk them over to the sink. I did a calculation about my "green juice" that I've been making. I estimate that it costs $2 per serving, which is definitely cheaper than if I bought it pre-made. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B092D2DFV5/


Sept 2023

Disneyland at home (late August 2023)
https://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2023/08/late-summer-or-early-autumn.html

Kitchenaid attachments (early August (2023)
https://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2023/08/hungry-heart.html

Cookbook project (July 2023)
https://bitchonabike.blogspot.com/2023/07/i-am-creator.html

We now have three small humidifiers that are aromatherapy diffusers. I ordered Pick 4 Fragrance Oils Jul 20, Aug 14, and Nov 5, 2023. The first time I ordered just 4. The second time I ordered 8. The third time I ordered 4 but I gifted them to my sister for her birthday.

  • Californian: fir needle, lavender; vetiver, patchouli, redwood, sandalwood, spicy leather, warm cedar
  • Tiki Terrace: sparkling lemon, toasted coconut, orchid petals, white cedar, vanilla musk
  • Pirate Life: damp ocean air, fresh rain, and salty-sea breezes
  • Flying Over Orange Groves: juicy tangerine citrus bursts, fresh floral

  • Banshee Flight: fresh ocean breeze, apple, melon, orange, bergamot, lavender, bois de rose, woody violet, musk
  • Hocus Pocus: white peppercorn, rich spices, cinnamon stick, ground clove, sugary vanilla, warm musk and birch twigs
  • Wilderness Campground: rich amber, touches of musk and sandalwood, lively top notes of jasmine, lavender and orange
  • Floridian: green clover and aloe, fresh Jasmine, Lily of the Valley, Ylang

  • Haunted: cedar wood, classic vanilla
  • Little Old Christmas Shop: crisp pine needles, sweet fir balsam, citrus, warm cedar
  • Pumpkin King: creamy pumpkin puree, butter, cinnamon, vanilla cream
  • Contemporary: green clover and aloe, watery green floral
The only one I really couldn't stand was Hocus Pocus because it reminded me of the cleaner that Metro Los Angeles uses in the elevators that people pee in on the subway. Little Old Christmas Shop is pretty mild, I would have loved if it were a stronger pine scent.


Aug 2023

Wilderness Campground and Californian are kind of similar and very strong. I alternate them in my husband's room because they have a kind of masculine and cologne vibe. But the ones that he actually likes are Contemporary and Floridian.

Pumpkin King was great but also very strong. It was hard to get out. Once you introduce it to a diffuser, it is hard to switch to a different aroma. I washed and washed the diffuser, but it still gave pumpkin smell when I turned it on.

I just placed another order for 8 more oils. Since they are running a Valentine's day special right now, it was 25% off. These are great for one or two or three days, but soon I go "nose blind" and can't really smell it anymore. Therefore it's good to rotate. Also I bought a cute rack for them.
  • Polynesian, sun-lit palms, calypso citrus, wild hibiscus, teakwood, island fruit, warm musk and white sands
  • Pineapple Whip, fresh pineapple, soft-serve ice cream
  • Ice Cream on Main Street, warm waffle cone
  • Bakery on Main Street, sweet confection of butter frosting, yellow cake
  • Orleans Resort, jasmine, violet, gardenia, lemon zests, dry down of vanilla
  • Sea Salt + H2O, sea salt, water lotus, wild rose, sea moss, warm musk, teakwood
  • Walter's Office; rich, warm and spicy aroma with touches of honey, rose, violet
  • French Riviera marine, jasmine, white amber, cashmere musk, weathered driftwood
Wishlist:
  • Pixie Dust, sweet berries, plums, pears, strawberries, citrus, sweet sugar crystals
  • Churro, delicious fried pastry, cinnamon, sugar
  • Mouse Waffles, warm batter, sweet maple syrup
  • Confectionery, sugary cotton candy, raspberry

Disneyland Cookbook project (Summer 2023) 
.pdf with Hyperlinks and Photos
Google Doc without photos and without annotations

I also bought a cookbook of official Disneyland recipes from Amazon.

So far, I haven't cooked anything out of it, but I enjoyed reading the history of different venues and menus that have come and gone in the park.

In conclusion, I feel my mom rage has passed now. Thank goodness. Although I did sit here and type this for 2 hours. I think the worst part about working part-time is exactly what Michelle Obama said about it. You suck at your job and you suck as a mom. You can never be fully present at either. You feel conflicted at all times by different things pulling you in different directions and it leads to madness.

Thursday, May 4, 2023

month of mama

Love the OneDrive. It has been a game-changer. I can edit and move files at home, at my desktop at work, or on my laptop and it is automatically updated everywhere.

I applied for a staff job and it didn't work out. But in the process of preparing for my sister's visit, we cleaned out our bedrooms of excess stuff and the change has been good.

Summer break is mere days away and I am working like a madwoman to get everything graded before family time (at Disneyland) can commence.

This semester has been a rollercoaster of challenges and triumphs, no different from any other semester. I have resolved to change the things I can and leave the rest alone.

May is month of mama and I don't have any great plans or expectations. Today is Star Wars day so may the fourth be with you.



Thursday, April 27, 2023

Mar Apr 2023 thoughts

3/1 - Visited with Diana Chulak, Program Manager of the Family Focus Resource & Empowerment Center here on CSUN campus. She gave me a binder to organize all of the IEP documentation.

3/10 - Soooooo nervous. My kiddo's Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting starts in 30 minutes. On zoom of course. I don't know why I'm nervous. There's nothing I can do now except participate and follow through and remember DO NOT AGREE to anything right away. I got permission to record the meeting (audio only) so that I can just be in the moment and listen to it again later. He is aging out of early intervention (EI) and aging into whatever services are offered by the public school system. We're gonna find out what they offer at this meeting.

On the plus side, kiddo is aging out of Parent & Me 2 swim lessons and aging into Guppies, Tadpoles or Starfish. Either way, a parent does not have to be in the water.

Update: The IEP meeting was fine. They are offering 1-on-1 speech therapy once per week for 1 hour. They believe he can speak in 3-4 word sentences by July. I'm not skeptical but yet I am. He has not made progress in 7 months of similar therapy. But they said 3 years brings a language explosion. So I am hopeful? I'm so hopeful that he will be able to catch up, but I'm also mindful that he may not. We started EI on the advice of his daycare teacher. Since our Marchling is an only child, we don't really have a frame of reference. He is not delayed in comprehension, just speech, so it's easy for us to forget that he is so different from his peers.

Update update: We had an assessment for EI on April 3rd. He may or may not continue to qualify for their services. They may offer a diagnosis whereas the IEP did not. The person who did the assessment said that there is a new program for ages 3-5 offered through Regional Center and Albert would be a good candidate, she will recommend that. She didn't speak to any specific diagnosis, and it didn't seem that she thought he had any of the major issues (intellectual disability, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, autism).

Update update update: What if we want more therapy and our insurance covers it... does the IEP allow us to get extra sessions covered by insurance? Or what would be the documentation needed by the insurance company?

What we did for this was take the IEP to the year 3 pediatrician appointment (March 28th) and asked her for a referral. This worked but we're still waiting for the referral to arrive in the mail.

3/23 - Oh boy. Trying to process. Birthday. Anniversary. Spring. Easter. Spring Break. Busy. Vacation. Behind at work. What are my priorities?

My To Do list for break included some sewing projects. Stuff that I can't do when LO is here because needles are dangerous and I don't want to sew through my finger.

Break is slipping away. I did an 8-week fitness challenge and it felt so hard to keep up with. I was just happy when it was over.

I think my kid has cavities in his molars. I feel horrible about it. I was so smug that he likes brushing his teeth. But I didn't really make it a priority. He was pointing to his mouth and saying ow ow. Like ouch. I thought he just had seeds from Blackberries stuck or something so I kept giving him water to rinse and swish it out. We were outdoors so I said "look up at the sky with your mouth open" and I could see them. I normally let him brush his own teeth and I haven't stuck my hand in his mouth because he used to bite my fingers when I was checking to see if his last molar had erupted. But I feel like I should've taken him to the dentist every 6 months as recommended. Hindsight I guess. Or maybe I'm overreacting. I'll get a professional opinion soon.

Pediatrician appointment on Tuesday of next week. I delegated it to my husband. He has been having to do a lot more since my teaching schedule is 5 days per week this semester. DH took LO to the initial appointment with the new speech therapist and they had to wrap up early because of a poopy diaper.

I know we're behind on milestones. Stuff like weaning, sleeping in his own bed, potty training, talking, first trip to the dentist. Gosh. I am not feeling like a total failure, just like so tired. The thought of having to get serious about setting boundaries and changing up our routine seems daunting. Like when we started to add solids (purees) on top of breastfeeding. Like just one more thing on top of the heap of things that were already making me feel overwhelmed. Like the straw that broke the camel's back. I guess that's how I feel about this dentist/toothbrush/cavity situation.

4/3 - Milestone Monday: New word = cupcake.

4/4 - Today I thought: it might be a good day to wear lipstick. I haven't worn lipstick for years so I don't know what that means. I also considered coloring my hair, which I haven't done for more than a decade, so I don't know what that's about.

Also, if you're not interested in coming to work in a wearable blanket, I don't wanna know you. We've had the longest, coldest, wettest, windiest winter here in Southern California. And understand, I grew up in blizzard country (Nebraska) but I moved here to get away from the cold. I didn't have a lot of long-sleeved shirts, sweaters or coats. I didn't own the appropriate outerwear. This winter I've had to purchase a bunch of it, it's been expensive, but now I have the warm snuggly stuff. And I am enjoying it. Maybe you wouldn't wear the giant snuggly shapeless garment, or maybe you would wear it around the house but not to work, but I am not afraid to sport it and I love it.

4/25 - Swim Lesson Update: kiddo was promoted to GUPPIES on his skills not his age. So proud!